#todays mood is breakups are fawking harder than I ever imagined
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#todays mood is breakups are fawking harder than I ever imagined#we just laid there in bed (the first time he’s slept not-on the couch in a very long time)#and talking about how we know we’re not right for each other but neither of us want to separate but we have to but we don’t want to and its#just a lot#I think about how it would be nice to have a place to myself and kind of get me in touch with myself and cater only to my own needs and#just see what it’s like to live alone since I never have#but I was listening to him playing his music in the other room and wondering what it would feel like#to be in an empty apartment by myself in dead silence knowing he’s not going to walk through the door any minute#then I wonder is it because the comfort of him that I don’t want to let go? I definitely love him but#at the end of the day he’s hurt me a lot too#and I don’t know if he’s capable of showing up for me in the way that I need him to#also.. I just feel so exhausted imagining trying to date ppl and find someone I care for the way I do him#my eyes have never strayed from him he’s always been my priority#anyways..#I guess let’s just see what the future holds
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