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d2kvirus · 6 years

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Dickheads of the Month: March 2018

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of March 2018 to make sure that they are never forgotten.

It takes a remarkable lack of awareness to liken somebody wearing a political symbol to the Star of David, the Nazi swastika or a t-shirt bearing the image of Robert Mugabe, yet that’s exactly what FA chief Martin Glenn managed to do - almost word-for-word, in fact.

Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson issued Russia the blood-curdling threat of “Shut up and go away” - which he somehow forgot to say when accepting £30,000 to have dinner with Lubov Chernukin, the Russian banker who happens to be a member of Vladimir Putin’s inner circle.

For whatever reason, NRA TV host Collins Iyare Idehen Jr. (otherwise known as Colion Noir) broke from the channel’s remarkable similarities to ISIS recruitment ads to mock the Parkland teens by saying that nobody would know who they were if their friends hadn’t been shot - somehow missing how that’s the fucking point as there is no reason for anyone to know the names of any of these kids or their former classmates, but rather than consider the reason why (as that would involve taking responsibility) the only thing he can do is mock, and sneer, and underline just how much of the problem the NRA have become.

Twitter user...sorry, former Twitter user MomsLuvTrump20 hit the dickhead jackpot by doctoring an image of Parkland survivor Emma Gonzalez tearing up a shooting target from a shoot with Teen Vogue so instead it showed her tearing up the US Constitution (quite poorly, it has to be said) and shared it online, not only getting tens of thousands of shares and an undercurrent of seething ignorance that someone would dare tell America that they have a gun problem, but this also led to people sending Gonzalez death threats. Yes, death threats, to someone who all too recently survived a gun massacre - which, contrary to what Adam Baldwin thinks, is not satire.

On the subject of Photoshopped images, Newsnight editor Jess Brammar really took offence at accusations that the programme she is responsible for was responsible for manipulating images of Jeremy Corbyn in order to make him fit the narrative that he was some sort of Russian stooge, and did so by...posting an image to her Twitter account that made it even more obvious that Newsnight had Photoshopped the image of Corbyn.

Somehow forgetting to uphold the obvious lie that they are in any way left wing, CNN columnist Jeremy Bailenson came up with a quite remarkable crock of shite in an article ripped from the late 1990s where he said gamers playing first person shooters are being trained to be the next generation of mass shooters citing evidence such as...some gibberish about holding a VR controller being exactly the same as holding an AK47.

To the surprise of nobody, certifiable headcase Munroe Bergdorf didn’t last long on the LGBT advisory panel they were appointed to (while a section of the media still wrongly claim that Bergdorf was appointed as LBGT advisor), yet when stepping down from their role Bergdorf’s response was to cite racism instead of the more common diplomatic response stating their appointment had brought undue pressure upon the panel - which merely added more fuel to the fire of the Tory commentators who kept making all manner of false equivalencies between Bergdorf being appointed to an unpaid role on an independent panel to Toby Young being appointed in an official capacity worth tens of thousands of pounds a year by his mat Jo Johnson back in January.

In yet another example of the right using the “Left = Nazis” rhetoric, we had Minnesota Republican Mary Franson making a direct comparison between the March for our Lives march and the Hitler Youth - and after her making a direct comparison between the two (unsurprisingly) led to her being called out for such idiocy, she attempted to defend herself by claiming she didn’t make a direct comparison between the two nor was her intent to...and when that predictably failed, then she decided to apologise which certainly has nothing to do with her being up for reelection.

Filibustering enthusiast Philip Davies took time out from his hectic schedule of campaigning against political correctness as he refuses to treat women, ethnic minorities, homosexuals or the disabled as being equal to him to conduct himself in the most professional manner when being interviewed by Luisa Omielan - by responding to reasonable questions by hurling out insults and accusations before shoving Omielan around his office.

In response to the imminent threat of a whistleblower revealing the Vote leave campaign broke rules on electoral funding, Stephen Parkinson knew there was only one thing he could do: threaten to publicly reveal the homosexuality of the whistleblower to keep him quiet, and when that obviously didn't work he outed him anyway - which was not only sanctioned by Theresa May, but she also supported Parkinson for his gross violation of privacy, use of blackmail, and endangering the safety of the whistleblower and his family.

Let’s see if I’ve got this straight: Tommy Robinson had a camera crew waiting for him outside a random branch of McDonalds, who just so happened to be in place to film a group of “far left extremists” as they “attacked” Robinson and, more importantly, were able to film him fight them off to show who the “real” “man” is - just as I am sure there is a perfectly legitimate reason for Robinson insisting that the police shouldn’t investigate the incident or, for all his talk of him and his crew being assaulted, the paramedics being unable to find so much as a bruise on them. I can’t think what I could possibly be implying here...

On a similar subject, we have those people wailing about “free speech!!!” at the news of Paul Golding & Jayda Fransen being jailed and, a week later, Facebook shutting down Britain First’s page. Obviously that was what happened, and nothing to do with the pair violating the terms of their exclusion orders for the former, or spending six years violating several of Facebook’s Terms of Service (without the provider batting an eyelid, it needs to be stressed) for the latter.

On the subject of freedom of speech, Sajid Javid referred to Momentum as “neo fascists” in Parliament knowing full well that he could hide behind parliamentary privilege and not be sued for it there - but if he set foot outside and said the same thing he'd receive a solicitor’s letter within the hour.

One of the approximate 357 Liverpool FC correspondents on Sky Sports’ payroll, Jamie Carragher, showed he could handle the mildest form of criticism by...winding down the window of his car and gobbing in the general direction of somebody reminding him that his beloved Liverpool just lost a game to Man Utd from the window of his car, only to miss and instead coat the taunter’s daughter instead. The only surprise is he didn't have seven of his mates join in, just like his ex-teammate Steven Gerrard.

Glorified talent show judge with the business acumen of a market stall trader Alan Sugar thought it was a clever idea to tweet an image suggesting that Jeremy Corbyn shares the politics of Hitler’s inner circle. What is it with Apprentice judges showing levels of judgment and intelligence that would make calling them “halfwit” a compliment?

There’s something remarkably pathetic that it took two hacks from Murdoch’s Hate Comic, Gary O’Shea and Thea Jacobs, to write a sneering article damning “snowflake students” for suggesting that Frankenstein’s monster wasn’t the antagonist of Frankenstein but the victim. You know who else made the same suggestion? Mary Shelley, when she wrote the fucking book back in 1818!

In the latest example of their historic women’s division historically making history, the WWE announced a battle royale for WrestleMania 34 named after the Fabulous Moolah - only to find that quite a lot of wrestling fans are aware of Moolah’s reputation for holding back women’s wrestling in North America for the best part of four decades, not only skimming the vast chunk of her trainees’ salaries but also forcing them to pay rent at her motel if they wanted to work, and even pimping out her trainees and they were quick to let the event’s sponsors know about it.

Seemingly not learning from the last time he made a complete tit of himself (and earned a visit from Jeremy Corbyn’s solicitors in the process) Twitter troll and occasional MP Ben Bradley thought it was a good idea to pose with a pair of former Labour councillors and welcome them to the Tory party - only to be reliably informed that those councillors had been suspended and, in one case, deselected from the Labour party for making racist comments, and that them being happy to cosy up to the Tories sort of proves Momentum’s point better than anything else.

In an apparent competition to see who could act like the biggest fuckwit when discussing the same subject, the intense wave of revulsion that comes from a group of Floridian teenagers having a better grasp of what humanity involved led to Laura Ingraham taking to Twitter to mock how David Hogg got rejected by various colleges as his GPA was too low that led to various advertisers dropping Fox News like a hot, faeces-covered stone before she announced she'd be taking a week-long vacation, while the homophobic, pro-gun, child molesting racist Ted Nugent referred to the Parkland kids as “soulless” which led to...not much happening, because who has given a tuppenny fuck about Ted Nugent in the past 25 years? Either way, still a colossal dickhead.

On that subject, I can’t help notice there’s a lot of pro-gun liars intent on regurgitating the lie that the March for our Lives kids bullied Nathan Cruz, and how the poor innocent victim Cruz fought back against these vicious bullies and we should stop persecuting him for cold-bloodedly murdering seventeen people who, by their own thick-headed excuse for an argument, weren't even the seventeen people he meant to shoot in the first place. And that, Ted Nugent, is what a soulless person looks like - and there’s a shitload of them all over Twitter.

Be thankful for the Salisbury nerve agent attack as it gave the British media even more reasons than usual to avoid reporting how Drug Minister Victoria Atkins banned the growing of cannabis for medicinal use in the UK with one swipe of the pen - and with another granted Paul Kenward, who just so happens to be her husband, a license to grow medicinal cannabis in the UK for export abroad.

Somebody who thinks it’s a good idea to describe themselves as a “professional shitposter” Count Dankula attempted to say that he was going to jail for teaching a dog the Nazi salute, which of course Breitbart and lots of people who used this as an excuse to make completely unconnected rants about Islam jumped on immediately. They probably should have broken with tradition and checked their facts before mouthing off, because what actually got him charged with inciting racial hatred was making comments as “Gas the Jews!” throughout the video, as if the systematic extermination of millions is the basis for some good, hearty gut laughs for all the family.

I know that he wasn't aware of the irony that he was unfolding in front of him, but watching how Cambridge Analytica CEO Alexander Nix went into detail about how the company would use hidden cameras in a ploy to honeytrap politicians while being filmed saying this by a hidden camera did almost as much damage to the firm’s image as the revelations that came out as a result of the piece.

And finally, blaming video games while an elephant with the letters N, R and A emblazoned upon it shits on the Oval Office carpet, we have Donald Trump.

#dickheads of the month

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