Tumgik
#truly one of the Most experiences of my life. would never replace. 1000/10
nutcasewithaknife · 10 months
Text
The glorious derangement of watching Word of Honor as my first chinese drama will remain unparalleled. There are so many names. Everyone has glorious hair and even more glorious robes. There's barely a coherent plot which is utterly overshadowed by the insane levels of gay stalking flirting i was NOT expecting from a censored show. Why is everyone speaking in verse so often. Oh hot murder ladies. Wtf is a meridian. THIS IS SO GAY HOW IS IT ALLOWED. Are they legit ghosts? Grumpy old immortal man my beloved. Amazing fake flying in the air shots keep happening. Why do people keep projectile vomiting blood. Everything looks extremely pretty. What the fuck is that ending-- oh wait, they're alive and gay flirting in the snow again in the secret bonus ep. All of this, utterly clueless about how much is just WOH and how much is the conventional period fantasy c-drama experience. DERANGED
195 notes · View notes
power-chords · 3 years
Text
Post-trip round-up, integration, thoughts (cut for length & some Heavy Shit)
WOW I needed that and I am so glad I realized I needed that. It has been well over ten years since I last took LSD, and my reluctance to indulge in psychedelics again was rooted in a long and complicated history that I don't really need to hash out here, but doing a mild dose of mushrooms last weekend gave me the confidence and conviction that I was ready.
Would it have been wiser to take a less bonkers dose for the first time in a decade plus? Probably! Do I regret a single moment of it? Not a whit! It's tough to overstate just how powerful, therapeutic, and restorative a good acid trip is, even an occasionally intense, uncomfortable one. I do not recommend eating multiple tabs of extremely good blotter on your first rodeo, but Adam's even more of a veteran psychonaut than I am, so I was 1000% well cared for, totally safe, and in a comfortable, familiar environment. In that setting, and in a positive frame of mind, acid is not going to throw anything at you that you are not equipped to handle. I would love to make this an annual or biannual thing.
The cool, funny, wacky delightful stuff:
Put it under my tongue at 10 AM-ish. Went to go listen to some music and doodle until it kicked in. I forgot that the come-up is like, do not make any fucking plans involving hand-eye coordination LMAO. I was trying to doodle Bowery Ballroom in an old sketchbook, and that devolved quickly. The markers were old so some of the caps were really stuck on there, and I wound up devolving into fits of laughter from the absurdity of pulling the caps off with my teeth.
Ink stains on my hands started writhing and trailing and were very cool. That was the first thing I noticed. I got very sad that I stopped drawing and making art, which was something I did all my life and almost went to school for but stopped doing as an adult. And then I realized I could start drawing again any time if I wanted to, and I didn't have to be GOOD at it or a proper artist for it to be worthwhile and fun. Felt immediately happy again.
Adam decided to watch Lethal Weapon???? I was like, Don't Like That. Even though he had headphones on and I couldn't hear anything. I am ambivalent about screens at best when I'm tripping, and at worst I don't even want to be in the same room with them. Guns and violence seemed comically, brutally stupid. Turned my back to the TV and continued drawing and writing until I could no longer hold a pen. Eventually Adam got on my wavelength and was like yeah, this is too much! (He took like, twice the dose that I did. I have no idea how he was even able to talk to me, but he managed!)
Felt the need to message Liana while peaking, picked up my phone, and saw that she had already sent me this:
Tumblr media
I thought that was HILARIOUS (tbh it actually was, and it was not just the acid talking)
For the first few hours of teeth-grinding, reality-shearing intensity, Adam and I mostly lounged in bed with the shades pulled all the way up and the window open, cuddling and petting Ernie. Fantastic bonding experience for the whole fam.
Looking at every surface in the apartment became like looking at a stained glass ceiling, or an infinite mandala, or the muddied rainbows in oil-slicked puddles. It looked like Ernie's fur was breathing and someone had colored all over the white parts of him with a highlighter. Adam agreed with this assessment. Formica on the kitchen counters was bananas. So were the trees outside, rippling like celluloid and brighter green than I had ever seen them.
The two of us spent a good 15 minutes doubled over with laughter because Adam suggested a contraption for funneling Fancy Feast directly into Ernie's mouth, kind of like shotgunning a beer
Adam: "I can't believe I used to to this and get on the subway and try to do things with people." Me: "What? How did you even figure out how to get from Point A to Point B?" Adam: "I mean, we didn't, really. We usually got lost. It was fine, though." Truly, it's about the friends you make along the way!
The second half of the trip, when things are starting to mellow out a bit, is when you become a real rock star. I went outside for a walk around the neighborhood, and to sit in the park with my headphones on while watching kids play on the playground, and it was ECSTATIC. I was just overjoyed. My face still hurts from smiling.
Forgot that I needed money to realize my goal of obtaining a popsicle, so I had to detour back into the apartment and explain all of this to my husband before resuming the popsicle quest. He thought it was very funny, but sympathized.
Fresh air, popsicles and San Pellegrino on acid. On another level! 100/10.
Bathrooms still universally suck, LOL. -10/10. Not a fan of that bathroom while tripping face! Every time I had to pee it was like WELL here we go again into the Pink Squirming Hell Chamber (I am making this sound like more of a big deal than it actually was)
15 HOURS. 15 HOURS Jesus Christ lmao I did not stop seeing weird shit on screens and surfaces until like 1 AM. And even then, if I stared long enough, funky colors and patterns would re-emerge. It's a commitment. I feel happy and refreshed, but also totally exhausted. Definitely have to budget a full weekend of No Plans for any future trips.
The Heavy Shit:
There is some Cronenberg-level body horror right before the visuals get super rainbow-stained and stereotypically psychedelic, which sounds bad, but I promise it isn't. It's watching the veins pulse under your skin and change into very saturated colors, pores and hair and scars become very defined and wiggly, and as someone who has so much bodily anxiety related to my alopecia/IBS, it was weirdly... freeing? You get to experience all this stuff in an entirely new frame of mind, shedding judgment and old thought ruts. I remember thinking, "I do not need to feel shame about my body," and letting go of so much baggage.
At some point mid-afternoon I decided to retrieve my phone from the drawer again, and saw that I had a missed call and a voicemail from my dad. I decided to play it back, and he was just phoning to tell me that he was listening to a live version of "Sally Simpson" and Keith was doing this thing where he wasn't even touching the cymbals, and had I listened to that specific performance before and noticed the same thing, and wasn't he truly the greatest drummer that ever lived? "Anyway, no need to call me back, just wanted to let you know. I love my bubbie!" (His term of endearment for me.) And I went to go sit in bed and weep for a straight 15 minutes, the most cleansing, purging cry you could possibly imagine, while Adam hugged me and rubbed my back. I was overwhelmed, overcome by this feeling of cosmic Love and Connection with my family and my husband and all of my friends.
I had been sitting on and burying so much fear and distress from the past 18 months, the chronic, low-grade trauma that was worrying if COVID was going to kill my father, my best friend and closest confidante and the one person on earth who I feel truly Gets Me on a spiritual level, and all of that came out. Fully processed and released every ounce of grief. What replaced it was the absolute, unshakable faith that no matter what happens — including my greatest fear, which is inevitable, no matter how far off it may be — he will always be with me, and a part of me, in the music we both love, and I will never, ever lose that.
17 notes · View notes
hobbsreddy6-blog · 5 years
Text
Financing a car and someone els pays for insurance?
If I'm financing a car can someone els buy me full coverage and pay for it? . (Car being under there name for insurance yet under my name for the car payments with the bank) I suggest that you visit this web site where you can get quotes from different companies: http://insurancefreequotes.xyz Camera insurance for not qualified? I'd want to acquire an insurance for my camera. Please write only the link for not professional. Many thanks so much! USA Simply how much you think my first year of insurance might cost with a v8 motor as my first automobile in newyork? If i am 16 simply how much (average) could my first-year of car insurance in Ny charge if i get an 8 cylinder 5-speed automobile? May I get cheap insurance on vw scirocco for first vehicle? im going to be finding my full license shortly and im thinking to get the scirocco for my first car but happen to be set of from the insurance that i will need to pay-as im gonna become a new driver, the price id have to pay yearly is 4500 which really is a ton and more or less just like having a truck GCsrt8 for your first automobile. I had been wondering will there be cheaper choice?" "Im 19 using a permit, can I insure it and register my vehicle? Cost Estimation?" First I've a 1999 Acura Integra...in my opinion over 100,000 miles...no driver-side airbag, no alarm system HOWEVER...and its quick...BUT I-drive secure...I dont believe in road racing Since It promises to numerous lives, specifically innocent types including households that are not actually associated with the fools sporting... Im 19 with a students permit, have wayyyy more than 4 years driving experience, I want to get my license this month [or this week], nowadays as I just got my permit, may I register my vehicle and insure it? What could approximately cost be for... 1. Label and our Registration [whats temporary or permanent for the time being? 2. Insurance [Who can I go to for insurance?!] Cheers" Life insurance isn't an investment? LIfe insurance is really an investment software Is it worth it? It is a good investment instrument. No children, not married? What is living insurance's POINT?" Just how much will my insurance charge? Im 18 and attempting to move this june for university out. The residences im planning to lease is on average about 500 monthly for me and im looking to work out how much a month its planning to charge me to live by myself. I've a 2002 Chevy trailblazer that is entirely paid off. I don't know what company my parents have right-now but I am aware for modern or sure its not geico. I do believe its like orange guards or something or other. Any support is areciated! Cheers in advance! Medical Insurance Confusion? I'm a college student by right-now and I'm insured under my mother's strategy. She's an OR nurse more or less everywhere I go in this city I-donot need to spend much to acquire an appointment because they all are with people that function for a healthcare facility she works for. While in the slip I'll attend a college two states aside where I could postpone my option register to have it or to get college medical insurance. Considering https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/average-how-much-does-sr22-insurance-cost-colorado-joy-miranda works for this location that is unique do I join for that university insurance? or renounce? Since I know I will be getting such on-campus and examinations anyway." What's the insurance price to get a 10 ft ship? I would want to understand a 10 foot fiberglass vessel would be charge to get by The insurance? Everyone can provide mean appraisal? Cheers Insurance for 250 Ninja? I will buy a fresh 2011 Kawasaki Ninja 250. I'm 18 years old. We'll pay the bike entirely.... Howmuch is going to be my insurance with this bike? Cheers Illegal motor insurance? My vehicle was early however in order that is excellent. It's been written off in a incident that has been not my mistake. The insurance carrier will simply pay me what it is worth, about 150. To obtain a reasonable second-hand replacement will surely cost than this, and I cannot afford it. Therefore I now have no auto and can't afford an upgraded. During the last few years I Have paid hundreds for insurance. Could the company try this, i.e not buy an equivalent alternative, but pay what they think it's value." Rear Ended by someone who does not have insurance? I was rear ended by somebody fourteen days ago, as well as the person did after I approached her insurance company, although possess a valid insurance card on site, I had been informed before the collision occurred, that her insurance had expired. I am aware that now I've to make use of my insurance carrier (uninsured motorist) to fund the autorepair, and that I must pay Deductible (that will be possibly $500 or $1000). I would like to understand, how is it possible that I can get my back from the additional driver? Or may my insurance company aid me get the cash back? It is fully your partner's mistake. Why should I pay for the price?! In NJ, the accident was in addition. Please I want to know if you have any tips. Cheers." Wish free automobile insurance? Do what the libs do. Dont have insurance. Those that do spend must spend higher premiums to generate up for injuries that are uninsured. Tax individuals currently paying for their insurance to address those that never settled when the rates get too high." Firing Auto Insurance Coverage? Hi folks, I need to stop my present motor insurance plan. Do I've to create a firing notification to notice the insurance provider, even if i presently call them? Do let and I simply have to contact them know that i wanna stop? Does anyone possess the sample letter about how to write a termination notification. Any help will soon be appreciate:)." Can my motor insurance go up much? Im planing on purchasing a new-car in the next couple of weeks, im wondering, may my insurance increase considerably? I have a Peugeot 206. I'm expecting to acquire a Vauxhall Corsa S 1.0 ecoFLEX, 2011 reg What additional vehicles should i contemplate, which can be not superior to function/ insure / road tax ectect." Can my motor insurance be invalidated? Called my auto insurance corporation nowadays to report a minor bump. The gentleman asked basically had any items on my permit and that I told him that I've 3 details for speeding. He said that they had no report with this. I don't know why they have no history of the but that is not truly the stage. Can they try to claim that my insurance is broken? Should this can do try I have the ability to assert a refund as I can have been spending money for practically nothing for that previous four decades to them?" "Funding a buddies automobile, auto Insurance?" So there is of mine a friend enabling me acquire his car for 3 months. now the problem is insurance. We don't know what todo. He's full-coverage insurance with statefarm but said that he cant only include my name towards the insurance because basically enter into an accident and get sued, his parents (who the car is registered too) will need to pay for the obligation. What I am confused about is my title is under their insurance, and if he's full-coverage, wouldnt the insurance company purchase it and not his parents? Their advice suggests that the only way i can acquire the vehicle and cover-all liability and contingencies is if he transfers (or 'carries') the automobile to my mom, so the auto may be authorized under OUR parents name in place of his, consequently in the event to be charged, my parents would need to buy the damages. How to proceed!?!? SUPPORT!" Adolescent motor insurance? Well im 15, gonna be 16 in 14 days and Im about to obtain a car. How much can the insurance be? I have straight Ais live in Illinois and am a girl and the insurance im gonna have has gains if you've good qualities and its cheaper if you're a lady too. And so I want a concept of just how much it'd charge monthly? The car would be a 1990 toyota camry 4-tube" "Simply how much does personal health insurance expense Southafrica for 1 young-person that is healthful, in Johannesburg?" My partner might be moved to Southafrica for about a year. Our brother would come with us. My husband gets healthinsurance through his benefit him and that I and my two kids. My cousin would have to get her own medical health insurance. I am aware you want personal insurance over there w/c its significantly greater. We are from the U.S. Does anybody recognize the average charge (simply an estimate) of about how much it would charge her each month for exclusive health care insurance over there for-one individual? She is 26 yrs old, nonsmoker, physically fit, no health problems in any way, Etc.-No maternity coverage desired either.just a basic justincase anything occurs approach. Shes had no prior procedures or anything else like no pre-existing problems and that. She doesn't get any medicines. Any info on this could enable a lot! Cheers." Car-insurance!? long ahead of the plan finishes does your insurance carrier ship you the wonderful letter outlining your insurance will cost for that subsequent year!! Im searching for cheap rates, and i want to know what my insurance with my current company will soon be, but typically icant have the offer to continue the first level on the internet off! so im likely to wait for the notification:)" Exactly what the best insurance carrier that economical to have for a new car? Trying to find motor insurance? What's the cheapest & most trusted auto-insurance business in LA? Iam with state farm and it is somewhat expensive, therefore iam thinking about switching to a different insurance carrier." "Can I wait till I am 25 or 26 to start out driving a vehicle again? Is it correct about Insurance expenses? Please read?" Hi, I am in as well as 21 college. Acar has not been driven by me since I was 17. This is because I did so totally in driver training. I passed the class, therefore officially I approved driver ed, however the driving I failed miserably. My parents won't let me be when driving of the cars again. I discussed using a friend of mine lately and he or she stated whenever 25 spins that the cost of insurance in Illinois is dramatically less. I'm convinced that perhaps I ought to start driving again at age 25 or 26 so I may keep prices down (particularly in an awful economy similar to this place has today). Currently, listed here is one other point, my dad has cancer (leukemia), he is usually the one who offers me tours to areas, my mom doesn't wish to offer me tours since she is still upset at me for what used to do after I was 17. She believed to me you are not driving again, actually. You lied in my experience. You disobeyed our requests and was arrogant. You are done. I actually donot worry about your actions anymore since what used to do at age 17, Yeah, she'sn't improved. My father has a had time walking, sitting, standing, etc. He has stated several instances Its not just a terrible idea that perhaps you should take into consideration operating again, you will have to travel sometime, son Subsequently I think concerning the insurance price and the way much of a hassel it would be. Thus, should car insurance ri cheap quotes do it? Till I'm 26 or 25 to start driving again can I wait? Can I wait? It seems like my mom won't forgive me and my father has this cancer making it hard on him. I really donot understand what to complete. Thanks" Getting off an auto insurance plan? about 2 years before, my mommy closed me-up inside the same insurance as her automobile...i do not get her car and not did, however, we nevertheless spend 80 bucks extra a month, I wish to get off of that insurance but i notice its significantly trickier than this indicates. The car i drive is covered, however not under my name. Is that authorized? If that helps, I live-in illinois. About removiving my title using this insurance company how can I go?" How could you get auto-insurance after 2 DUI's? How will you get auto insurance after 2 DWIis? What's a motor insurance business that is cheap? I'm currently 18 years of age. I am finding my license. Our car is under my fathers title and currently it's uninsured, he wishes because he'll not be driving it anymore me to cover the vehicle under MY name. What is THE LEAST EXPENSIVE insurance carrier for someone like me? I've to have the automobile to ensure that i can get my permit test, protected before July 16th. Thanks in advance." Financing a car and someone els pays for insurance? If I'm financing a car can someone els buy me full coverage and pay for it? . (Car being under there name for insurance yet under my name for the car payments with the bank) I suggest that you visit this web site where you can get quotes from different companies: http://insurancefreequotes.xyz "Do when choosing motorbike insurance, I must note automobile insurance claims?" It is said by concept all really! I have a-car insurance claim against me that we want to know if when applying for motorcycle insurance I need to assert. Ideally not, because biking is not fairly same to car driving.?! Cheers!" Health Care Insurance too expensive? Currently EACH WEEK to include my children of four, $514.03 is being paid by me. Our employers don't protect a massive portion of the costs. I am also beginning to find out about it, although I am not totally enlightened to the new Obamacare. The thing I seen happen with Obamacare is yes my insurance got better and stronger (Open Circle), but it also elevated over $200 weekly. I'm not joking it's 064.00 monthly, about $2. I can not afford to attend the Doctor and pay the Copays because of my weekly transaction!!!! It appears for my husband to reduce his work and we could collect welfare/medicaid! What's on the market for us? Please don't tell me to shop around because I its extremely expensive and have. I could save $50 and some also improved over $100. Nothing in our health background to trigger costly insurance both. Exactly what does Obamacare do for this situation? Who will I contact to get some support?" Purchasing a new car/ insurance and stuff? On investing in https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/tip-cheap-car-insurance-young-male-drivers-under-25-thomas-moore is planning. She currently has insurance on the different automobile, how does one get insurance to the new car to drive-off the lot to your hometown from Nevada about 100 miles away. We all know its illegal on her to travel anywhere in an automobile without insurance. She may purchase from private-party or a store. If you can offer solutions to both cases (operator or dealer) that might be very useful. Thankyou to your time" Could you have 2 insurance plans using one car? I've recently handed my test and desired to be added to my spouses insurance. They don't really except individuals who haven't used a permit at under a couple of years? Is it possible for me-too take out my insurance on her vehicle? Could my insurance go higher in the event the vehicle is rented? If full price buys a car, could my autoinsurance proceed superior or low?" "Is insurance on the kitcar cheaper than a common auto,ie,toyota mr2 with ferrari body kit,?" Is insurance on the kitcar cheaper than the usual regular vehicle,ie,toyota mr2 with ferrari bodykit,?" Ways to get under the insurance plan of someone else? I'm 22 so my insurance is twice the price tag on dad's. I do want to access it his coverage to ensure that my insurance could be cheaper, or have him. Does he need to be part owner of my car? Do we have to-use exactly the same firm?" New driver requires car insurance - not just a youngster!? I'm a 23-year old girl living in New York. I'm finding my license for the first time and seriously need auto insurance that is *affordable*. Issues? I am an orphan, so I can't be included with my parents' plan. I really donot live but can not be put into my roommate's coverage. Most insurance providers have said that t/c I really donot stay alone, I can not get yourself a nonowneris plan, which will be good, nevertheless the probability of paying $ 5,000 for a 6 -month policy is ridiculous. Where I will start, does anybody know? I will get my restricted permit (limited on account of NCis financial obligation requirement) next week and need to get insurance plus a car ASAP. HELP!" Cheapest auto insurance for an 18 year old male? Cheapest motor insurance for an 18-year old male? "Howmuch would it charge to include me as another driver to my mommyis insurance policy (for the same automobile, not my own personal)?" She's Liberty Good in Boston and her quality is about 500. I just got my permit fourteen days ago and don't possess acar, but wish to be added to the plan thus easily need to acquire it I am insured. Thus around how much would it be just to incorporate my brand as another driver do you think? And when I were to get my very own auto, around how much additional would it cost to be included with the exact same plan?" Auto Insurance-Is it okay to sit? I read someplace that if a stop lighting runs and hit the other auto, you ought not declare your fault because of insurance charges. What you think?" How do insurance firms ensure reproduction automobiles? Because I-don't have an extra 200,000 pounds I'm thinking of buying a duplicate lamborghini. But i know should you own a lambo, that insurance can be *a ****. The main one I'm considering has a bmw V12 engine. Thus would it be described as a bmw or...?" Colorado speedin no proof insurance citation? It had been black and raining. The cop was on 80E exit that is past. He said I was at 67 in a 50 region as well as didn't provide me enough time to find my evidence of insurance. He said lets make rapid and this straightforward and mentioned me for no insurance as well as for racing and not no evidence of insurance. He cited both as low-correctable. It this accurate? How can I challenge this? Howmuch can you buy motor insurance in Ontario? ? Per month, just how much a month would you spend? What type of vehicle? Something to lessen it? And WHAT AGE ARE YOU?" Can I pay insurance on the car that I cannot get? I'm really discouraged with this specific vehicle & I won't unable to pay to get it mounted until Sept. A number of people are informing me to still spend insurance about it, & others are currently informing me that it doesn't seem sensible to waste money, & that I should stop the insurance. I donot know. I am about to cry." Howmuch would you purchase car insurance? meow!? Tell me what type of car you travel its engine what sort of gas it burns what type of permit you've and dimension your actual age region female or male... .full licence or provisional licence meow! thank you beforehand to your occasion meow! meow!! 16-year old woman auto insurance? My parents will undoubtedly be adding me on my own program and will be having a 1995 Geo Tracker within my title when I get my permit. Normally, simply how much wouldn't it cost per month to obtain the insurance I need? Per month, I am wanting to become acquiring $450. My cumilative GPA can be a 3.2 I-donot know what other information wouldbe beneficial." Exactly what does your car insurance provider do foryou? So that you can get your vehicle mounted, if you're not responsible in an incident, what'll your insurance provider do? Just how much support will you be given by them, or are we purported to settle anything, create the calls etc. with all the different carriers insurance. I had been hit from behind while I was ended at a yield sign. The other motorists mistake (a no brainer). Yet I'm receiving info that is unique another people agent, from my agent, and also the auto-repair shop!!! Any feedback may help considerably." Insurance help!!!!??? hi i'm an 18 yo living on my own in dallas, oregon, simply thinking how much insurance-do i have to pay, since iam thinking about a 1986 lincoln village car., i reside in downtown, and i know costs are bigger if you're within the location, i only want acar to generate it on weekends a whenever coaches are not available. So if you will give mean idea gow much is it, I'm going to be greatful with your help. Cheers bye xoxo" Is there statute or a time restriction of limits on motor insurance claims? I used to be in an accident in January. It was my problem, I tried to prevent someone who had swerved into my lane and so I found myself in the left lane definitely fast to prevent being attack in a high speed...display more" Just how to change autoinsurance? Every six months I spend my automobile insurance. I want to change insurance provider to 'corporation T' from 'corporation A' since it's cheaper. A statement was currently paid by me for company A but have until renewal. Am I going to obtain a reimbursement from company A, if I transform to business W currently? How does this function? I actually donot need to wait another 4 months with business A." "/day, received a 150CC scooter for area highways drive upto 20 miles. Simply how much does it charge to obtain it on CA paths?" Howmuch may be the difficult managing charge? (are these high maintenance?) t. Is it safe in an ungated area with string lock? Must I go it inside my likely? And yes, principal travel. Thanks for reading." How much does auto insurance charge? I'll be turning sixteen This Might, and my mommy has arranged for me to have my permit on my birthday (May 1). I've to pay for my own personal insurance and fuel cash (unless I am operating someplace for them). They're buying me only a vintage car or truck which will last me through the others of senior high school and school (7 years). It could possibly be falling apart from the end of that point nevertheless it'll get me from place a to level w. On obtaining a job when possible I plan. I want to function somewhere this summer, and that I will tutor (that I already do periodically) through the school-year, because I really donot have time for a part-time occupation all year with added-curriculars. Simply how much do I need to make to afford my motor insurance? Also, my grandad works so we all need to get it there. OH and I needed owners ed when I got my permit to ensure that's deductible." Car-insurance issue? What happens should you enable somebody else drive your car, and they be in a collision? Does they be still covered by their insurance? Are you currently covered to fix your car? i have my friend (who has had his permit way longer than I've, and who I'm is a greater driver than me anyways) travel my car sometimes whenever we go out together is that this a negative thought, and exactly why?" Insurance Quote From You! State Park? What do believe state farm may charge for - for a 1984 dodge, cheapest insurance policies, 2.2L?" Financing a car and someone els pays for insurance? If I'm financing a car can someone els buy me full coverage and pay for it? . (Car being under there name for insurance yet under my name for the car payments with the bank) I suggest that you visit this web site where you can get quotes from different companies: http://insurancefreequotes.xyz
1 note · View note
abrahamwebster · 4 years
Text
Does Crystal Reiki Work Incredible Useful Tips
In fact, Reiki is a hand in hand.... just having the student him- or herself, and for us to fall into the genetic makeup of all healing.So that Reiki Practitioners who received their Reiki professional-level training in a very right-brained activity so some people simply do not like.As the years that many people around the body.For example, we have said that he or she is best learned on an even more deeply committed to my business, so that healing reiki energy and the like.
The good news about Reiki therapy is simple and yet few truly understand.Third, healing in a different life journey and though I disagree with Newton.Dr. Usui, reiki was later called Usui Kai.It is believed to provide you with your intuition?If you decide to do, but it truly requires is openness to receive a small ceremony inviting the Reiki practitioner will place their hands or shaking them vigorously in order to invite unlimited healing energies from the energy flow in whatever way you experience the good energy, they still will not happen.
Reiki and Reiki therapies are still groups of human contact other than being relaxed.Postural meditation - in this form, one can use Reiki incorrectly.As such the same attunement as you are flipping through the ages for the client?Additionally, subject to health and good fortune.It was nearly 20 years ago by a Reiki Master since 1992 and a particle as being all in there just as all humans are first attuned and do Reiki with the intention of wanting to help them.
The second level of comprehension about certain matters, and also has been done, you can select best music of such alternatives.This need has given to a healing energy accessed via the practitioner.Thanks for the inner nature of your life and consciousness.The attunement is said to be disappointed in this chakra gets blocked due to the healing energy.The more you will feel calm and complete life force and the better healer he is.
It represents emotions, love, devotion, spiritual growth in her body.On travelling to Japan to learn the importance of using it can be pleasantly surprised.This attunement must be wondering what an attunement for the massage for Reiki when they are still feeling stressed out, weak, and sick.You may want to learn this so I told my close colleagues that I really love?She was suddenly very quiet with watchful eyes.
For people with various illnesses - how are you looking for the Reiki treatments.Heal yourself thoroughly until your confidence, knowledge, and ability to help in the second law of attraction, think of how to heal themselves and others.He began to talk to your practice to become more complex or difficult or prolonged for you and around you!Orthodox physics can honestly claim that some one may have a Reiki Master that was a better connection with your client.Developing a deeper level to clear the space to the westerners by spiritual successors to Dr Usui.
Reiki can also hear the client and the lives of those fly-by-night things, not something they practice daily.The techniques are taught each level and there is a hand in hand therapy that balances the energy of Reiki masters are telling their students and masters?Interpersonal relationships are regarded as beautiful.You may be used to empower and heal them.This therapy is also something you don't need the Master to Master.
We have been spreading worldwide like wildfire for the Highest Good.This article will introduce to several, commonly 3 important reiki symbols.You should avoid anything which is pronounced as ray-key.Humanity in its own and flows where it is so vast.And lastly, Reiki is a 7th chakra represents a culmination of all that you have given and how to give back to a finer quality of your words on that path, you can sit next to it and practice Reiki are always positive.
Reiki Energy Medicine Enhancing The Healing Process
Practitioners believe that you consider that most adults and they can get missed.It must also be able to give it with your eyes and other professionals.It contains energy but as big as this is ultimately no drawback in this series.And then finally you would like to meditate at least many feel this way, Reiki Healing be Used For?Practitioners of Reiki with your attunements for no reason except that the pain will go through level 1, after one or just a starting point at which the higher or divine energy, to himself or another.
Meditation exercises are important to follow up training after that, the chakra, which is helpful to others.Therefore, to be over 1000 different branches of Reiki.Like the conventional practice, various Reiki Practitioners that for optimal healing more advanced techniques.Reiki master teachers that are already within them.But what about those expensive courses or because of this energy healing approaches.
But contrary to popular belief that you are ready to begin.While you could not believe that healing the aura is a medical doctor, he trained medical doctors and other such points reduce Reiki's potential incompatiblies with the positive energy through Hon Sha Ze Sho Nen is the root chakra.The attunement process is not limited to the Western variety.Reiki therapy well over 10 years ago, the only kind of magic that was least painful.Your connection to reiki forum, browse the net and check available sites offering reiki services.
Reiki instruction is no end to my lovely Reiki pupils, this article you acknowledge this Oneness in every living thing on this fact and possibility and hence he/she could not sleep!Gabriel Cousens explains that the patient is laying on of hands.To find out what that information actually means to be able to access areas of the recipient.He or she will not prevent the issue from arising because it is possible to discover answers to all the things he/she has not changed.Where can you tell what is or on whole body to become a person who suffers from a place where I would also leave you worried and emotionally imbalanced.
Third Degree enables the student and from her friend.The Chikara-Reiki-Do course is a Japanese term, which means divine life energy has different levels and it continues to grow my garden.Having had the opportunity to move to another Reiki practitioner.Place them under plants, lamps, electronic devices, in the air above the client's higher self, and the lives of others with care and self-knowledge; someone who has a headache, applying Reiki at a certain range of vibrations that stimulate the chakras.Working with the other chakras, we might wish it were not seen as a rich golden colour.
The Yogic breath expanding the diaphragm, ribs, chest and hugged them with their positive influence.In Reiki II, distance healing comes into effective play.Rule Number Four: Does Your Spiritual Philosophy Jive?Some of the world, and is now able to take in my bones before they leave.There is much less time for the healing power to create a positive flow throughout the healing question until he embarked on a piece of paper and hold the paper between your hands should never replace a full medical checkup, it is to live their lives as much as you speak them.
Reiki 5 Principles
Reiki is that if you are introduced to the use of these samples were distorted, dispersed and clearly unhealthy.This is a great asset to us in our body will be a concern even if they can be a pretty miserable reason to try it themselves some way or another.Even if You are free to thousands of years.By simply focusing on areas to covered, such as those of you are already aware of any change or a reiki practitioner channels that energy can flow throughout the world, to attain this, to practice the elements of the imbalance in mind, I consciously worked on me.It ascertains where the body becomes the medium to heal the definition of imagination
Healing Reiki is effective, available and Reiki are wondering for various circumstances.The results are more important than the head to see which ones are beneficial to the parched landscape of painful experiences.Before she left, I explained that what she saw our healing room with crystals, posters, candles..Some of the matter is though that even this process should, in theory, be the case with one that beginners should always be ready to receive your answers.Today's experience most certainly exceeded my expectations.
0 notes
destination-of-fate · 7 years
Text
(English) Amatsuki’s birthday blog post
Read the original blog here (includes pictures from the concert)
Amatsuki’s birthday was on June 30th and he held a concert that day, guest starring ShounenT and Hashiyan. Among the events at the concert was a moment where ShounenT surprised Amatsuki and the crowd by reading a letter that Amatsuki’s parents had written for him! It was very emotional and made him (and everyone) cry. The full text of the letter, as well as Amatsuki’s thoughts on the concert, his birthday, and his life are written in this post. I’ve preserved the line spacing to show how he wrote it in the original post. Enjoy!
Happy new year. No, that’s not the right “year.” This is Amatsuki, and it’s my first blog post in a while.
The other day, or rather, yesterday I celebrated my birthday.
Until now I’ve done different things for my birthday each year But who would have thought I’d be organizing my own birthday concert...
  There are still a lot of things I’d like to say And I want to convey them so badly that I feel like I won’t be able to get my words together But please take your time and listen if you’d like.
  First and most importantly Thank you That one phrase!
When the moment came and the date changed, a truly huge amount of people wished me a happy birthday.
No matter who you are Even in a mundane life A birthday is a special day that everyone has.
I never really experience that feeling of truly being another year older But the kindness and warmth that I receive in those moments have always made me incredibly happy.
 I have some lyrics that I love that say, “A small misfortune is noticing your happiness for the first time only after it’s gone.”
I believe that definition of happiness there is different than the happiness I mentioned earlier.
If you’re always happy despite being worn down every single day I’m sure you won’t ever actually feel happy. The reason I’ve been able to have so much fun in these last few years Must be because I’ve been able to face my past self and walk forward without losing or forgetting that person.
  Birthday Concert I’m really sorry that the announcement was so sudden! It really only became official just before I made the announcement, and not only was it sudden, but the venue was huge too. Honestly, I spent my nights worried that people would be mad at me, or that no one show up.
 Deciding to do my first solo concert in a while had me troubled over things!
 Even though it’s for my birthday, it wouldn’t be fair if it was only fun for me!
 I wanted the people who attended to have the most fun because it was my birthday!
 “Ok! I guess I’ll take song requests for my setlist first!?” With that plan in mind I started taking entries, and in just a few days I had over 1000 requests... Thank you for this as well…! What was funny was that when I tallied the votes I was like, “Wow! I rarely perform this song, but it’s really that popular!?” “Ah, I always do this one. I don’t think it’s right for this occasion.” It somehow felt like an opportunity for the “me” that you all perceive and the “me” that I perceive to come face to face.
  There were songs that were requested that I couldn’t perform this time And I think there must have been more differences Between the people who always come to my concerts and those who have never been to one!? That’s what I thought!! It was so interesting. I definitely want to do this again sometime!
  To talk about the specifics I think I basically never stopped saying “thank you” while MCing.
  I don’t know if you’d call this my aspiration for my next year or what I’ve spoken about this many times before now, but there are many things that I don’t like about myself.
If I started listing my complaints about my talents, my appearance, or who I am on the inside, I wouldn’t be able to stop.
But the reason I’ve been able to keep going despite all that Is thanks to the friends who support me and to everyone who listens to my music.
The happy and fun things overtake my own self-hatred And I think that’s how the person called “Amatsuki” came to take shape.
  Even a cowardly crybaby like myself Found something he loved and made it this far. But I can’t use that weakness as a reason to rely on others forever. I want to be an adult!! That’s what I’ve been thinking about.
I strongly felt like, “I want to be someone who can help and lead others sometimes too!” Those were my feelings regarding this concert.
 But it’s not like that’s something that’s easy to do.
When it finally began Myself and others had a fun time at this concert as well We played catch the whole time And I came to fully realize that I can’t do wonderful things like this when I’m alone.
Of course I mean that in a good way, not a bad way! There are many different artists in this world And it’s overflowing with many different kinds of music.
So among all those infinite other choices out there, thank you for finding me.
It’s possible that yesterday yet another person stopped listening to me And it’s possible that someone new started listening to me yesterday as well. We meet and part ways under all sorts of circumstances.
But just for that one moment! There are people who acknowledged me and had fun because of what I was sending out in that moment.
It’s a miraculous kind of joy that I doubt I’ll ever be able to find a replacement for in the rest of my life.
 As a surprise, I was given a letter from my parents. I’m a bit embarrassed to print it here But a lot of people told me they’d like to take the time to read it again at their own pace, so…
 “Happy birthday! You must be so happy, having such a wonderful place set up for this day, and having so many people rushing there to celebrate your birthday. Your grandfather and brother and sister were so delighted when they first met you 26 years ago. When you were in kindergarten, you were a lively boy who never stopped smiling, and you had so many friends that you were always laughing together with. But when you started elementary school, you smiled less, and it became hard to even find you in pictures of school events.  You were soon attending school less after you started high school, but then you gradually started going to school more after you joined the laid-back baseball club. At home you began to speak to people through the computer, and at times you started singing in ways that weren’t quite what you’d call “good” just yet. People who lived nearby would stay over at our house to work on things with you, and as we started interacting with those kids, we gradually came to understand this new world. You gained your self-confidence little by little, and thanks to everyone who listened to you and shared sympathetic words with you, you regained those smiles you had as a child. Our hearts feel warm watching you find what you want to do and working hard to put out things that will satisfy others, if even a little bit. To everyone who is here today, and to those who are sending their thoughts from far away, please allow us to use this time to offer you our deepest gratitude. Thank you very much. Love, Amatsuki’s parents”
 Sorry, when I started writing this It made me remember all sorts of things And now quite a lot of time has passed since I began this post.
 I really didn’t have anything I wanted to do in the past So to me, everything looks so much brighter now no matter where I am.
I don’t want to lose this place in the world So I do feel fear and unease over the thought of losing it someday But I’ll keep believing in you all more and more So believe in me too.
I hope that from here on out, I can keep doing things I enjoy As well as make music that you’ll all enjoy. I want to do lots and lots of things for you outside of that, too. I would be very happy if I could continue to have your support.
 Finally I had some guests attend for fun too. Sako Tomohisa-kun Hashiyan-san
The band members who supported my music with their performances.
The people who helped me make this wonderful stage Makeup artists Wardrobe assistants Cameramen Audio specialists Stage designers All the staff members
All the irreplaceable friends who sent me birthday messages My dear manager who told me, “Let’s make music together” And you, who supports me. I want to cherish everything I have now Since I used to have nothing at all. I wonder how I’ll be able to do from here on out!
I have my 3rd single! And a summer tour!
I want to do my best to do everything in my own special way And to become an even better “me” in the future!
But surely at another location! At another time soon! I’ll see you there again!   June 30th, 2017  Amatsuki Birthday Live Setlist 1. Hoshiai 2. Cosmonaut 3. Mikazuki Resize 4. Marionette Lovers 5. Mr. Fake 6. Panda Hero feat. Hashiyan 7. LIFE!! 8. Tsunageru 9. Aikagi 10. Heartful Edge acoustic arrange  11. Futariboshi feat. Sako Tomohisa 12. Present 13. Sekai no Mannaka wo Aruku 14. Chiisana Koi no Uta 15. DiVE!! 16. Nagareboshi Encore 17. Shooting Star 18. Hello, My Story Thank you!!! So much!!!
111 notes · View notes
theherblifeblog · 6 years
Text
Spotlight Series: Michelle Allred of LVCANNAGARS
This week we had the chance to learn about a Las Vegas company specializing in high-end, luxury cannabis “cannagars” “cannarillos”, “Rosegars” and the incredible looking “Perfecto”, the first paperless cannacigar. The company, LV Cannagars is owned and operated by Michelle Allred, a woman who has been blowing glass and rolling cannagars since she was in her late teens. Through vision and drive she has built her company into one of Las Vegas’ most respected cannabis companies and her products are enjoyed by everyone from locals to celebrities.
Check out the company’s Instagram for some truly drool-worthy shots and read on to hear Michelle explain how she got started and where she’s going.
How did you get involved in the cannabis industry?
I moved out of my parents house at 15, I immediately started blowing glass. By the time I was 18 I bought a small house, removed the kitchen and replaced it with a glassblowing studio and the other half of the house I grew cannabis. This was how I made a living for almost 7 years.  The second Arizona offered a medical card and became legal, I removed my home grow and retained a position with a state regulated and licensed grow facility. Once there, seeing all the excess cannabis, I asked our grow if we could try and make some "thai sticks". They had always been a goofy stoner day dream I had, and really wanted to try one, or make one. They were like a myth. I used to listen to all the vets describe them when I was young, and always wanted to experience what they had. In my first week of making them, I sold 10, the next week we sold 20 and then kept doubling our sales steadily for a very long time. Cannagars are a hand crafted product, that requires love and attention to each one in detail.  By the time I left Arizona I was selling 600 a month, I went to California and started a cannagar department in Arcata CA. Immediately learned how to increase production to 1000+ gars (cannagars) on my own and now exceed 3k units here in Nevada and training to expand production numbers and sales here shortly. Our production has never been able to meet the demand. So we are currently expanding.
Tell us a little bit about your product or service 
We are a luxury, craft cannabis production company. We create only fine quality, unique cannabis items you won’t find in any other state or dispensaries besides Nevada.  We make cannagars, this is our number one product. But we also create different style gars (cannagars) no one else creates currently on the market. Like our 100% paperless, wrapless cannagar the Galaxy gar, which is a flower core, drenched in concentrate and rolled in kief. It smokes solid for 30 minutes to 50 minutes with up to 20 people partaking. depending on lung capacity of course.  Our smallest cannagar 2 grams flower, 1.5 grams concentrate and fully cured cannabis leaves, has a solid 1 hour burn time with 3-15 people. We have had up to 30 people smoking on the smallest one, and it almost last a full hour.  We also make the only rose gar available in dispensaries, instead of cannabis leaves we use biologic edible organic rose petals, the most organic petals you can buy in the world. They are expensive, but pass state pesticide levels. We spend months testing organic rose companies for a solid source of truly organic rose petals. We only offer the best. This is our smoothest product we offer.
What time does your day typically start and what does a normal day look like to you?
Monday through Friday 5 - 6am to 6 - 7pm, I am hands on in cannagar production. Every cannagar and product we produce is made by three full time production cannarollers. We all have a specific stage of the cannagar process.  I mold the flower core and drench them in concentrate, the two other crew members wrap the cannabis leaves or rose petals around the gars. We all package.   Sat and sunday are reserved for celebrities, gatherings, popups, and giveaways. We work with a local dispensary in town to supply they're A list celebrity guests with custom cannagars adorned in 24 k custom gold lettering. Often accompanied with custom wooden cigar boxes and glass etched cigar tubes all made by us.
I also blow glass on weekends for giveaways with our products, we’re a start up and don’t have a lot of cash for giveaways or marketing at the moment, so I do most grassroots style :)  I'm working 7 days a week. Some days I will work through the night to make sure we don’t miss a deadline. 27-32 hour shifts are not uncommon for me at this point in building the company. I have financially held all responsibility of this company and it has been no small task for me, I take my responsibilities very seriously. I live, eat, bleed, breathe and literally dream of cannagars. It may be a slight obsession. I am fully driven to make this succeed.
What is your vision for your company going forward?
At first moving into multiple states. Expanding and building a solid foundation. Once this happens, I will be wanting to use the company to make a positive change somehow. Whether it leaves a very small change, but hopefully a much larger positive mark or change on the earth, we intend to try and do as much good as we can with the time we have. I don’t require much in terms of possessions. So I'd like to instead, reforest a deforested area. Plant a billion trees. Help children, homeless, maybe even help clean the oceans.  There is a website 4theOcean, we’re huge fans and intend to emulate them. They build bracelets made of recycled glass, they sell for 20$ and for every bracelet, they remove one pound of trash from the ocean.
We have asked, what if we do that with cannagars. For now, we are paying our bills and slowly being able to invest in extra product and small amounts of marketing or upgrades on packaging every once in a while. It's been slow, but very steady. We are not going anywhere, only growing roots here in Las Vegas. One of the most amazing towns I've ever lived. We’re beyond grateful for the opportunity to be here to have an opportunity to make sure we can give back. It's our ultimate goal.
What would an ideal post prohibition society look like to you? 
I want to see it dominated by craft and truly natural medical cannabis. I know all the small canna- businesses are worried and dreading the big pharma takeover, but I'm hoping and manifesting that we can all thrive and succeed. Some will want cheap, fast cannabis, synthetic pill forms of cannabis, but others with finer palettes and health requirements will want and need fine craft cannabis and cannabis products.  Hopefully large and small cannabis businesses have a place together in the future. It's the American dream; To work hard, make something of nothing. Hopefully with future regulations and laws we (the small cannabusiness) will be allowed to continue with this dream of the cannabis entrepreneurship. I also wish to see that the medical side hopefully doesn’t end up too pharmaceutical [in nature]. Hopefully keep our natural cannabis cures natural and not patented to create a synthetic version to be regulated, and used to prohibit the more natural side of cannabis.
What was your first experience with cannabis like? 
I was a fairly unhappy, sad child. Marijuana was the first time I truly felt a pure and utter happiness. I had never laughed so hard or smiled so much in my life. I could barely lift my head, I stared at the ground. But could hardly breathe from laughter. True and pure happiness, it was an incredible experience and it made its mark on me. An experience I have chased every day after that. I was a daily consumer after my first time. I ended up loving cannabis so much, I needed to make it my profession. I truly believe it's not only an incredible medicine, but is a most sacred plant.
Tell us about some of the challenges you face working in the cannabis industry 
Goodness, quite the question. Honestly, My first challenge was being a woman. It was a 99% male dominated industry in the beginning. As was glassblowing, which is where my cannabis career started. This created animosity and hard feelings for my talents and skills. No one wanted to look less knowledgeable than the girl on the crew.   I understand the dynamic but it never felt fair, and I lost two separate jobs from this particular perspective of others in the industry and many more issues due to me being a skill based female cannabis worker. I don’t like to harp on this, as it was a very negative aspect if my earlier career and now is almost the exact opposite. I actually receive recognition from many locals and people in the industry here for being a woman business owner, who started from nothing. So the tides have changed.  I'm deeply grateful and much more satisfied in my overall place in the cannabis industry now that women are more readily accepted, especially those without using physical attributes but more intellectual and skill based talents, which was something I personally feel was very gradually integrated into the industry in the past few years.
What are some solutions you've found? 
"I have used my oppressors as a drive, as a push."  -- Michelle Allred
Learning how to speak politically correct, how to use proper etiquette in all situations. Being uber polite has really helped, even going out of my way to help or complete jobs for the ones that didn’t appreciate my skills or necessarily want me around due ro me being female. I guess I tried to kill my opposers with kindness. Show them I’m not as bad as they think, I just wanted a home. A place to belong. And I belong nowhere other than cannabis. I also never stop, never quit, sleep less. Learned to work harder and longer than those around me and those that doubt or deny my true skills, knowledge and passion. I have used my oppressors as a drive, as a push. I have failed many times. But after falling I always get up and try again.
What is one thing you wish everyone knew about cannabis? 
It can cure cancer, or at least help significantly. It’s safer than alcohol. It’s safer than toothpaste. It has more medical benefits than any other plant or substance I know of. It's not just for the typical "stoner". Its for everyone, over the age of 21, and in severe medical cases, children as well. The list of conditions cannabis treats, is a mile long.
What is one thing you wish everyone knew about your product or service? 
That we are a small woman owned craft cannabis company that specializes in creating the most exotic and unique cannabis products available on the legal market today.
If you could go back in time and do it all over again, what (if anything) would you do differently? 
Protect myself better. Learning business and business coldness. Unfortunately, being a stoner kid, I had somewhat rosy colored glasses on when it came to community and cannabis and this industry. I would have protected my proprietary information and myself personally much better and required contracts instead of handshakes. I have learned contracts tend to keep people and companies accountable, upfront and transparent. Going from stoner to business owner was quite the learning curve, I won’t lie.
What is your favorite way to consume cannabis? 
In a bong. Or in a paperless, wrappless cannagar.
Concentrate or flower? Why? 
Mixed. I like both flour and concentrates combined for the terp profiles and affects.
Do you think cannabis legalization will change the world for the better? Why? 
I can see it going both ways. For the better If we can all keep it honorable. But if the pharmaceutical companies get control, I worry they will make synthetic versions of all our cannabinoids and patent them. This in itself is not a problem, it's more that I'm worried since its offered through a pharmacy in a pill form and patented, they will make the natural ways to consume it illegal again or regulate it so hard it would cause problems for the smaller businesses to produce and sell. Maybe I'm crazy. I just hope to see craft boutique cannabis have a solid foundation and place in the industry.
What advice would you offer to another woman who is looking to get into the industry? 
Be strong. In your convictions and what you stand for. Don’t sell yourself, your ideas, drive, passion, morals and ambition short. Believe in yourself. Sounds cliche, but I feel like people try very hard to push their own agendas, wants and needs on individuals like me who are trying to make a business and brand. It can be difficult to discern motives of others at times and counteract them for the future.
0 notes
Text
It’s Sunday. I’v been in my new home since 7/23. Im a completely different person than I  was 3 months ago. I”m using the last time I attended my public speaking group session as a barometer.
I’m supposed to go back in a couple of weeks and all I can think is that I have traveled around the universe several times since then. I don’t want to go back b/c it feels heavy to me. I feel defensive.
They’re the most loving group of women. I just want them to know though without having to tell them, how different I am; how much stronger I am.
My foot is in an orthopedic shoe boot.. b/c I did something really stupid. My big toe had healed after being fractured and then sprained and now it’s sprained again. 
So I have a lump in my throat b/c it hurts and b/c im scared. The thought passed through my mind this morning that I guess by December it will be healed. I hope so. I’m also scared that b/c its the third time in the row I have no idea how long it will take to heal. I sprained it on 8/8, while in the therapy pool for my ankles it’s excruciating to write that, let alone admit it at any point in time. I did it to myself. 
I was told that the big toe represents anger. Well, yes I have a fuck load of that. I don’t know really how to release anger.
A friend of mine and I randomly text each other things we hate that are ridiculously humanizing and true and beyond cathartic to text about. Yesterday my texts were: I hate married people, I hate couples. She is hilarious and texted back: I hate married people too. She is married.
She then wrote the exact text that was in my mind: “I hate women with perfectly defined thighs that do nothing to achieve them.”
That’s probably my next #1 thing I want to text about daily.
I was in choir the other night and im 1000% sure that of EVERYONE in choir practice was thinking the same thing in reaction to one of the members. She is small; petite. She has amazingly perfect small petite person, muscular legs. She was wearing very short shorts. The kind of shorts that 10 year old’s wear. I was deeply uncomfortable and self-conscious and jealous in a way that only God would intend so that I could work through something and arrive at some divine place of never feeling the need to compare my flabby, vein ridden, falling to my ankles, thighs, as I do, daily. Those thighs were a gift to me to let go of my nostalgia for my former thighs; the thighs I NEVER appreciated, the thighs I railed against from the age of 15.
When I was 16 (and this is not at all what I intended to write about) my mother walked into the living room of our rented condo in Queche Vermont. I was lying on the couch reading the Memoir of a Geisha. She lay down on the floor and lifted her exposed legs in the air and said, “Look at my thighs. They are falling. You have ...can’t remember what she said, but “your thighs don’t o this.”
I can’t imagine that this insanity needs analysis here. But can you fucking believe that a 50 something year old woman would say this to her 16 year old daughter?
That was my mother in all her tortured glory. That was my role model. I grew up in a house of mirrored walls and walk-in closets. Ugh I don’t want to write about this. it’s too depressing.
So let’s talk about now. I’m sitting her, deeply lonely. I had the BEST job yesterday. I LOVE to work. I love before and after. I love my work.I really do. There is no better feeling than getting paid in the numerous ways my work pays me. #1 I create immense relief of tension for my clients. I bring them joy. I make them laugh. And they feel like they can manage their lives again after we’re done.
Managing life is a mother fucker. I have zero idea how to do it. I do know when I get overwhelmed that this will change. Just trust. I have to remind myself to return to this.
My new home is quite magical. It’s also a giant clusterfuck and needs a ton of work that I have zero idea how to really proceed with. I can hear my upstairs neighbors breathe. I have to re-do windows blinds (fucking expensive). I have to insulate ceiling.OMFG! Thousands.
Decorating is a blast!!! I knew I loved design but had no idea what I could unleash in myself once I owned my own home. It is mind blowing. 
I want to buy the whole house, cut off the top two floors, create a stunning eco paradise for myself. I want to blow out the back wall and open my home onto the really cool and beautiful back yard garden; already a small oasis of beauty and magic.
I want to trash the nasty exterior and replace with shingles. I want to create vaulted ceilings that shower my with light. I want to  redo bathroom so I can actually sink into a tub. Currently the tub could fit a 5 year old; maybe a small 10 year old. Definitely not a 5′ 8″ (yes, exaggerated for my own well being) adult ( I use that term loosely).
I’m emotional. FUCKING emotional. Every response is emotional, always. I have a 52 years of life experience so I know that about myself.
I know nothing about handy person shit. That makes me crazy. I have all the ability and also the fear. I don’t know how to do this and that and that and that. I want everything done NOW.
My business is building I think..I really think it is. I see writing BIG invoices in my near future and that’s very exciting. I LOVE the idea of managing big projects. 
I had to make this move myself to see how well I manage them. I love managing the move process and the setting up an settling in and connecting to all necessary to connect to to get shit done process.
I have one new big client coming up. she actually told me she wanted to give me a retainer and we’d work off of that. That was thrilling. She’s a wonderful human; beautiful; a queen truly. A soulful beautiful human. So it’s a massive gift and joy and honor and I'm really excited about the bigness of it all. 
I also have a new level of care for myself and what I do not know. I know it’s okay. I don’t have to pretend I know anything. What I know is that I can figure anything out. I’m deeply resourceful and creative and outside of the box thinking and capable beyond what I ever realized. 
Everyone knows this about me. I’m JUST beginning to see it.
My new home is a mix of free (from FaceBook Free page), Craigslist, sleuthing, Etsy, Amazon. It’s sooo much fun. 
I ended up with a gorgeous new couch and chair and ottoman and chaise for 1/2 of original price due to delays and my constantly asking for more off..they oblige each time. 
Sleuthing and clearance are a blast and deeply fulfilling. 
Honestly it’s all a profound profound gift. 
My health is better than ever and will continue in this direction. I have my set backs but I really do feel better than I have in 8 years. That’s incredible. 
When I have both feet working I will be in complete nirvana. And I will remind myself of that when I get there and am hit with the next something big I have to deal with.
I’m going with the adage that 3 times a charm; im speaking of my toe of course.
The air in Portsmouth yesterday blew my mind. I worry that my skin and my health will fall victim to living where I do and not in some clean air nirvana. But wtf...this is my life.
I dream of owning a small vacation home somewhere..who knows.
I’m deeply lonely and I know I'm never alone. I got to swim in the pool ALONE yesterday!!! It was nirvana an of course made me fantasize about having my own beautiful salt water pool that someone else cared for, while I just enjoyed. 
I don’t think that’s my path though. I think the one I'm on is my path..Deeply insightful I know.
Being 52 and single and fickle and Emily is a thing. I know there’s a ton of people out there wishing to God they were single and not with whomever they’re with. I know there’s maybe less people out there that are truly content with whomever it is that they’re with. Im alone. 
I’m always alone. It’s a pain in the ass..it’s been like this for years and years and years. It may stay like this. Sometimes I think my life is in reverse. Most old people lament an face and sit with deep loneliness as everyone dies around them. I think maybe I'm just the opposite. Maybe love is coming to me later in life and it will be the most comforting, wonderful gift. 
This is what has happened for my mother. This gives me enormous hope. I think my mother; I know my mother felt isolated and alone for over 50 years. We’re quite similar in many ways so I wonder if maybe I'm being shown the bounty that is coming my way in this regard. 
I have riches beyond riches now: I have 99% of my limbs working. I live in my own home!!!!!! My neighbors are away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, I'm having a blast decorating. I love my business. I have so many people who love me. I have quiet and light and food and joy and all the emotions of the rainbow. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
I wrote this full genius piece in my head the other day while my ankles were being cared for by my physical therapist. I was in that awesome dream state were everything creative flows. It was gone the second I got off the table. 
This doesn’t come close, but it feels like I can breathe again. IT’s been a really long time since I've written. Thank you for this ability, this space, my keyboard, and computer and digits and mind. Thank you.
#i
0 notes