#tulparscopilot

[tulparscaptain]

Are they gone?...

Who?

[tulparscaptain]

“ I've been told I look like an "Arthur". So I guess that would make me the Arthur to your John, John. ”

“ Hmm... I don't know. From where I'm standing, you certainly look like a John. ”

... He's messing with him.

"You know my name. I know you do. You just called me Jim. Jim is nowhere near a nickname for John. ...Do I seriously look like a John. Could I have ended up with the name John." "... Do you think you'd have some weird alternative name too. What name do you look like? I can't be unique all the time."

[tulparscaptain]

Quick question, Curly. What the hell do I do if I've found a fucking cat in the cargo area?

Uh.

You - you found a cat in the cargo area?

[tulparscaptain]

Yes or no. No context.

Uh. What happens if I say yes?

[tulparscaptain]

I'm going to get in a physical altercation with you

— @mistakenresponsibility

Uh oh.

[tulparscaptain]

What's the meaning of life?

I couldn't tell you.

But whatever it is, you won't find it at the bottom of a bottle.

[tulparscaptain]

Drunk as hell right now. I've decided I'm the captain now.

Whatever you say, Jim. Just don't disengage the autopilot or anything while you're 'in charge', yeah?

...

Wait.

There's no alcohol on the Tulpar. How -

[tulparscaptain]

I've pulled so many hoes you know. Are you proud of your best buddy or what?

I didn't know you were a gardener, Jim.

[tulparscaptain]

We should get burgers together

— @mistakenresponsibility

Can't. You drained my pockets, Jim. I don't have a penny to my name.

[tulparscaptain]

"Oh. Shit. Eldritch horror actually talking to someone else besides me for once. A rarity, really. Hi, Curly. Uh. One specific Curly. Does this happen to you often too or something? Would really love to stop feeling like I'm losing my mind." - @nottakingresponsibility (hi., kind of just been looking for an excuse to talk to you honestly you're really neat and i need to stop being a coward and interact with blogs. jimmy jumpscare)

“ Jim! Wow, Jim. I was a wee worried there. For months I've been getting transmissions from Nuka-Cola entities and Mysterious Burner emails detailing some far off "future disaster". The paper shredders been burning up something fierce. Figured I was going bonkers - You get them too? ”

[tulparscaptain]

Happy late Valentine's Day, i guess. Thank you for being.. My friend, this whole time.

- @best-copilot

Better late than never. How about we head up to the lounge and whip up a couple of mocktails? The sweetener's more bearable with a friend at my side.

[tulparscaptain]

How does your coffee taste, cap?

[tulparscaptain]

Curly the voices want me to explode....

— @mistakenresponsibility

Give me the gun.

[tulparscaptain]

[Gives you a single, live beetle. As a sign of friendship.]

Is this a ladybird?

How'd you manage to - nevermind.

[The friendship beetle has been taken.]

[tulparscaptain]

[Slloowwly sneaks up on him from behind, SLAP the back of his neck. You know. Like a normal person would do to catch the attention of someone!! (he's far from a normal person.)]

"Boo."

It's easy to be snuck up on when you're kneedeep in red waves. He'd been so focused on which and what, categorizing, deciding what to write and who to write up, and what for. What not. Didn't even suspect a thing. And then, SLAP.

Fingers like ice. Cripes.

Curly tightens his hold on the clipboard and shoots Jimmy a look over his shoulder. There are a lot of words on his tongue, but they die pretty fast when he tries to put them into practice. Didn't they have a discussion about this not too long ago? And now the tables have turned.. What an ass. The irony is enough to make the Captain smile, albeit awkwardly.

“ Did you practice that, or are you just a natural? ”

[tulparscaptain]

I'll fix it but idk abt taking responsibility

- @mistakenresponsibility

According to some emails I received I'm supposed to 'take action' against you.