#ugh i only have strong feeling because i wanted to like tcf

[vermillioncrown]

What if ZXZ meets og!SQQ and then meets SY!SQQ? Like idk how that would happen because ZXZ is more liable to fuck off than stay at the peaks and cultivate. Especially because he’s probably as prickly as SQQ and like does not vibe with like. But there’s a legitimate swaparoo that happened and cucumber might remind ZXZ of ZYX based off of modern values?

(Also ZYX and ZXZ mutually cultivating eachother’s personalities/thought process just by reluctantly always being around each other and being set up as business partners will never not be funny. As TCF’s Ron said “even dislike turns into like eventually”)

uh... let's contrive for that to happen. zxz is reborn in sv and it's almost like a purgatory period (he fucked up a heavenly trial post-dbd)

luckily the world he's in is both complicated and simple, and there's clear ways to get past this trial (and there's growth for him to understand social contract and rules, when there's a clear contrast by having something explicitly governing behavior and narrative rules)

so he needs to stick around as the system's warden (the system's overall guarantee in case airplane!sqh fucks up too much) holy fuck he starts to develop hives, despite his high cultivation. just can't stand the qijiu dynamic.

and the rest of the peak lords' bullshit

("this whole realm is bullshit!" zxz screams into the night, on a solo mission.

"user 003's concerns are noted," the system replies in its saccharine, google maps secretary voice.

that. that thing. is like the worst of his infuriating shidi, with none of the (admitted) benefits.)

(oh. he'd pick up on airplane's airplane-ness, if airplane's sense of self-denial wasn't so strong that he believed his own bullshit. so zxz takes one look at airplane!sqh, ponders his own place in this trial, and it's a lesson learned from his last life to let it go. not his problem.)

it's less like doesn't vibe with like. the prickliness does not stem from the same source. zxz, for his bitchiness, does try to strive for the confucian ideal. he's pretty civic-minded. his sense of justice and judgment is not personal. og!sqq is a hurt person, of the lowest caste of society. society has let him down, and he doesn't have the same mindset. he's there to get what's his because it's a matter of survival.

(i guess zxz doesn't come across the way i intended, and half of it is up to me, and half of it is... readers are lacking generosity with him. that wouldn't bother me if it wasn't... well. i don't wanna be mean. but some readers have clear double-standards and lack of awareness about it.)

uh... i think based on zxz's training and past life, he's a shoe-in for qiong ding. his consideration for medicine and healing makes him mqf's secret favorite - zxz can always rely on mqf to support his actions bc the qian cao peak lord wants a future leader that will keep his peak and their duties in mind, rather than an afterthought

so yeah, zxz is on qiong ding, unfortunately he's yqy's gofer to poke sqq, sqq doesn't like him bc zxz's mannerisms remind him of lqg (which is... eh, lqg at least doesn't give zxz a headache).

(but the one time zxz was sent to retrieve sj!sqq discretely from the warm red pavilion, he was nothing but respectful even if curt to the women. he was upset, but voiced that it was because "shizun insisted, even though it would have been better to wait for shishu to return."

sj!sqq has been burned too much in life to dare reassess someone after only one neutral interaction)

zxz would rather not, but it's his life on the line if zxz doesn't interact with sj!sqq. he's developed a whole procedure on how to handle the post-qing-jing headache, so he's very attuned to sqq's mannerisms.

as soon as sy transmigrates in, he clocks it. everything sj!sqq does is like a cornered, wounded animal. and sy, no matter how terrified he is, is too... domesticated to act in that way.

no sy wouldn't remind zxz of zyx. (if you think zyx is like sy, then well fuck me i guess. and second, my whole thing on cultural differences and stuff - zyx cannot erase the americanness of themselves. their mannerisms are so deliberate because it's always an act to fit in. sy, yes he's acting as sqq, but it's not the same level of acting. it's like a spy rather than a human-skin wearing demon to zxz)

and sy's circumstances are different. again, i think airplane and zyx's behaviors are more similar, bc of the rebirth aspect and the longer term look at their new life, rather than sy's motivations. and even then it's not very similar.

also sy's motivations are so... immediate. the most complicated emotion he feels in sv is after the abyss.

both airplane and sy are people that work towards personal motivations (that's not a bad thing, it's just what it is). as much as zyx likes to complain that they want to fuck off into the ocean, they take duty pretty seriously. they are also pretty civic-minded. but their approach is what makes it incomprehensible to zxz.

anyways, sy!sqq makes zxz look at every peak lord going "yo we just gonna let this happen???" (unfortunately it sounds like zyx's voice in his head)

also, they need to be on qing jing more often, and with sy simping for lbh, zxz needs to see this shit in front of his chinese-equivalent-of-a-salad all the time

immediately clocks "that little guy is a freak." and wow he thought zyx was a freak. this lbh is a freak.

("can i poison him?" he asks his system.

"WARNING: Protagonist Luo Binghe must remain unharmed."

"... what.")

unfortunately, he doesn't have any superior on this fucking mountain as reasonable as the ones on shuangfeng. so lbh stays. and the entirety of qing jing makes zxz want to set the whole cang qiong sect on fire

(if zyx was here they'd be able to do it in no time)

eventually airplane and sy find each other, and find zxz. they believe that zxz is just super good at being in-character (they think he's also a modern guy bc he learned to adapt to their speech. fuck zyx)

"you're our bro too! best bros!"

"we're co-workers at best, shishu."

learning about the ending that they're heading towards makes zxz shut down. there's nothing he can do as a side-side character. the fate of the world rests on...

he looks at sqh and sqq. of all people, he can see through sy's aloof facade. and sqh is a mess, but his interiority is worse.

yeah, everyone's fucked.

=

sorry not sorry, this turned into a dbd-meta at the same time. i don't think i really talk about my characters' motivations much; it's interesting to see what people think of. it does make me worry that i'm writing something completely "what the fuck who does that???" but there's enough people that read the characters to filth that it's reassuring. and we're all people with different experiences, and i'd say 'human behavior' is a gaussian distribution. nothing is non-zero even if improbable.

i also find the concept of two people growing on each other like fungus due to mutual dislike very funny. bc zyx is very avoidant (again, if zxz left them alone we would not have half the trouble we have now), so zxz is pretty active to drive interaction. like and dislike are generally two sides of the same coin, as they say; the actual opposites are interest (both positive and negative) and apathy.