#ugh why am I always so lazy when it comes to dreadlocks?

[enthusiastic-nimrod]

Just watched this drawfee episode and I was really charmed by their approach to “Lady Obsessors Unkissed”, so I thought I’d take the name and come up with a fake comic cover. 

Meet Louise and Luanne, some twenty-somethings who decided to start going out as a way to practice their dating skills. Of course, this is totally professional fake dating! There’s no way they’d end up catching actual feelings!... right?

[szopenhauer]

Are you the type of person who gets straight to the point?: I try my best to explain things but ppl still don’t understand the obvious

What was the last thing you said in complete caps?: not sure what was last

Do you enjoy playing board games?: some

Did you wear anything new today?: pineapple shirt my mom bought for me recently

Do you ever eavesdrop on people’s conversations?: hard not to when they’re so loud

Are you good at playing Hide and Go Seek?: I was because I’m tiny XD

Who or what made you smile last?: my thoughts 

What was the last song you had on repeat?: Daisy by Ashnikko :x

Do you often have that song on repeat?: no that was one time only lol  I hardly ever have a son on repeat, that happened like 5 times in my entire life, usually after breakup

Silly string or confetti?: fun but too messy and waste of money so none

How long is your favorite song?: about 3.50

What was the highlight of your day today?: it’s complicated

Do you tap your foot when you listen to music?: I tap but mostly due to anxiety ^^”

Would you rather use tape or glue?: tape 

Homemade or store bought cards?: store bought 

Do you listen to any hip hop?: nah

How about some lyrics?: I'm tired of weakness Tired of my feet of clay I'm tired of days to come I'm tired of yesterday And all the worn out things that I ever said Now it's much too late The words stay in my head (...) I'm tired of Facebook Tired of my failing health I'm tired of everyone And that includes myself Well being alone now It doesn't bother me But not knowing if you are That's been hell you see 

Have you ever had a fascination with stickers? slightly

Have you ever seen A Walk To Remember? yeah Did you ever watch Captain Planet? I did Do you think that Uggs are ugly? I love them Have you ever watched That ‘70’s show? meh Do you get along with your sibling’s friends? we don’t know each other Do you have a fashion icon? sorta, not really Do you think that iCarly is annoying? possibly

Have you ever had a really bad haircut? sadly

What are your favorite type of calendars? pocket?  Could you spend hours on pinterest? just a couple of minutes  Have you ever had to wear a school uniform? I liked that Who were your best friends in high school? K.K. E.E. E.W. Ż.B.

Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? bottom Have you ever had a secret admirer that left you notes? I got a note in elementary, it’s a mystery to this day, I thought that it’s a response from M.N. after I left him one myself but it seemed to be a prank done by girls who’ve been bullying me so I threw that piece of paper angrily at him like it was his fault - I still kinda remember what was written on it, they called me a flower and left a tiny drawing - later, forgot how, I found that note again and I believe I might still have it stored somewhere  What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? as a kid I had 1 sleepover (same school in which the note situation happened) my friend P.W. had puppies and I was allowed to stay for the night in her house Do you currently live in the city you grew up in? mhm What’s one way in which you’re behind the times? ex. getting a job  What’s one way in which you’re still a child? ex. collecting stuffed animals, lots What’s one way in which you’re old? ex. health issues Do you feel old or young? Or do you feel both at different times? both at different times What would be the best surprise you could receive right now? money? Do you usually forgive when someone hurts your or try to get revenge? neither, I hold grudge and don’t trust the person again, at least for a long time  Were there any subjects in school that were really easy for you? in primary most of them were, in middle school: polish, biology, chemistry and math and in high: russian, english, PE and physics (but I probably shouldn’t count it as we had it for a few months) Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? - What time of day were you born? half past midnight, my mother asked me why I’m so lazy as for someone who was born on Saturday and I responded with - I was sleeping in and was late for Friday What is the best hairstyle you’ve ever had? can’t choose Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? I’m used to my color but I wouldn’t mind dyed hair Do you ever listen to Celtic music? me and John had a phase on that back in the day, I wish I remind the titles... Have you ever wanted to be a model, actress, singer, or dancer? actress When you look at your baby pictures, do you recognize yourself? pfft Has your hair color changed since you were a toddler? got darker, less red  Do you wear matching socks? always but recently I thought about changing that fact Do you have a seashell collection? Do you have a rock collection? small Flamingos or pineapples? both Cacti or seashells? same but it’s harder to take care of cacti than shells haha Maple tree or palm tree? palm, ppl say maple looks like weed - I don’t think this way but that’s annoying, still I’d prefer maple trees irl!  Dreamcatcher or wind chimes? wind chimes but not every kind Have you ever taken a picture at the perfect moment? <3

Are you a pyromaniac? Bu is :P Are you a kleptomaniac? wtf Do you like to wear belts? it’s uncomfy and not good for my belly Would you ever get dreadlocks? I could but I won’t Do you listen to Eminem? no way

Does your sibling have a significant other? my sister is married 

When and why is the last time you cried (or at least, shed tears)? yesterday?

Have you ever cried at a real wedding? not that I been to many but no

What do your flipflops look like? don’t own any

Are there any gadgets of yours that need charging right now? my cellphone is charging

Which awards show would you wanna go to the most (e.g Oscars, Grammys etc.)? I wanna go to MET gala, nothing else

Any idea what time you’ll be going to bed tonight? late

Does your significant other like the same colour as you do? she hates my fav colors besides black 

Have you ever purchased anything online? obvi

Name all your friends whose name starts with the 4th letter of your first name. ...

Have you ever ridden an elephant? I’d like to (and camel and an ostrich and a horse)

Are you the candle lighting type? am not

Coffee in the morning, yay or nay? nay

Anal sex, yay or nay? hell no

Blue lipstick, yay or nay? okay, whatever

Is this question lame: “Have you had sex?” yep

Have you ever dated someone with really crooked teeth? mine are crooked

Would you rather vacation on the beach, or in the mountains? beach What embarrassing music do you listen to? too embarassed to write down? What’s your biggest talent? talented? me? r u kidding?

If you were a candy bar, what would you be? Milky Way? Would you rather ride in a hot air balloon or hang-glide? air balloon What’s one word you want people to use to describe you? truth is most important, everything else is less 

Did you often read for fun when you were a kid? tons of books

Are you more of a visual learner or an auditory learner? I learn best with my hands (kinesthetic) but visual is probably easier than auditory to me 

Do you have any dietary restrictions? ugh...

Do you prefer Google Maps, Apple Maps, Waze, or something else? I get lost no matter what

How old does someone have to be for you to see them as an adult? about my age or older

Do you ever ‘manspread’ when you sit down? sorry but I don’t sit like a lady - I sit like a lesbian unless there’s no space for that

When was the last time you were in a crowded place, and where was it? bus this day

Have you ever turned down a job offer? had to

What was the last medical appointment you scheduled? scheduled plenty at once

Have you ever had a dream in which you died? I die often, it’s a common element in my dreams, I’m fine with it by now

Have you ever fallen asleep on public transport?  oh well... majority of those times I was able to but once it was an accident and I missed my stop while going to school

Can you touch your toes without bending your knees? almost Have you seen all the Hunger Games films? yasss Why did you last go see a doctor? control visit about my IBS, GERD, food intolerances... Are you more logical or creative? depends

What do you currently hear? parents talking, music - iamamiwhoami; shadowshow 

Did you get enough sleep last night? I slept a little over 3 hours and I feel tired  Are the streetlights on? it’s not dark yet When you wear a hoodie, do you pull the sleeves over your hands? when it’s warm for that or they bother me in what I’m doing Are you in any advanced classes at school? w moim profilu miałam rozszerzone historię i WOK (wiedza o kulturze) Did you have a good day today? it wasn’t the worst (compared) and hope it won’t turn into complete shit 

[gold-from-straw]

Backstage of the Universe - ch11

Charles and Erik land in Wendimoor, and find Wakti...

Read on Ao3 form the beginning if you prefer!

Erik curled over as he fell, bracing his arms around his ears as the trees rushed up to meet them. Panic roared in his ears as branches smashed around him and tore at his skin until he hit the ground with a grunt.

“Charles!” he shouted, shoving himself to his feet.

“Here,” Charles groaned, rolling onto his back and wincing. Erik dropped next to him and started running his hands up Charles’ legs, checking for breaks. “Stop fussing, Erik,” Charles sighed.

Erik rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Charles, we both need to know if you’re injured.”

Charles shrugged in agreement, pushing himself up to sit against the tree trunk that had so thoughtfully broken his fall. “Ugh. I think my legs are fine. My ribs took the brunt of the action.”

Erik quirked a half-smile at him and went back to checking his legs. Suddenly Charles tensed, putting his fingers to his temple. “Someone’s coming.”

“Can you make us disappear?”

He frowned. “They might be able to take us to this… personification of the universe.”

“Or the magical talking snail?” Erik snarked. “Just look, Charles - surely you can tell if they know either of these people.”

Charles frowned at him, and a frisson of hurt ran through their connection before it cut off suddenly. “You do realise that I don’t just go diving into everyone’s minds like that.”

Erik looked at him flatly. Charles rolled his eyes and put his fingers back to his temple. His eyes widened. “They, uh… yes, they know her.” He glanced back at Erik. “I’m not sure I’d describe her as a snail, though. Not from what I saw.”

Erik raised his eyebrows, but focused on finding Charles’ wheelchair and straightening out all the dents. He lowered it next to Charles. “Would you mind if I lift you in?”

Charles rubbed his ribs with a wince. “Yes, I think that would probably be sensible.” He looped an arm around Erik’s shoulders as he helped him up, then took a deep breath. “Here they come.”

Erik turned, one hand on Charles’ chair. He could feel the metal approaching, large chunks of it in curious shapes, but even that couldn’t prepare him for the weapons the two women carried, or their strange clothes. One, a slight girl with short, pink hair and a cowboy hat, wore a giant pair of scissors as a sword, and the other, a tall black girl with long dreadlocks, had an enormous, cartoonish claw-hammer slung over her shoulder.

“Who goes there?” demanded the hammer-girl, stepping in front of the smaller one.

Charles raised his hands. Erik reluctantly followed suit. “We mean no harm,” Charles said, in that calm diplomat’s voice of his. “We’re looking for Wakti Wapnasi?”

The small girl’s eyes widened and she put her hand on her companion’s shoulder. “How do you know that name?” she demanded. Erik wondered if she was even eighteen yet.

Charles glanced up at Erik. I don’t know why you think I’ll be any help here, Erik muttered in his mind.

Charles gave him the mental impression of a flat look, then turned back to the girls. “It’s rather a strange situation… it might be faster if I showed you?”

“What do you mean?” the smaller girl asked, taking a step forward.

“Stay back, my lady,” said hammer-girl. “It may be one of the Mage’s traps.”

“I won’t hurt you,” Charles said. “I can send you all the information straight into your mind. You can see what I’ve seen.”

The girls glanced at each other, then warily back at Charles. When they made no move to refuse, he closed his eyes. Erik heard, in his own mind, the rustle of memories Charles sent to them; the children, their powers, Priest’s attack, and Francis, lying still with an entire world in his mind. He saw the girls gasp and stumble backwards, clutching at each other.

Show off, Erik teased.

“How can this be?” said the smaller girl.

“They must be in league with the Mage!” Hammer-girl pointed her weapon at Charles. With a gesture, Erik pulled it out of her hands, melting it into a pool at their feet.

Now who’s the show off? Charles said, but he wheeled forward. “I assure you, we don’t know any mage. We certainly aren’t working with one. We just want to find Wakti Wapnasi - I know you know her name.”

“How can you--”

“Because I heard her name in your mind,” he said, tapping the side of his head.

“We just want to bring the children home,” Erik said. “She’s our only hope right now, and we don’t even know if she can help us.”

The two girls looked at each other again, a silent conversation happening between them just as surely as it would between Charles and Erik. At last the taller girl stepped back, and the small one walked forward warily. “I am Litzibitz Trost, Princess of the Valley of Inglenook, and this is Bigby Badoo, my loyal lady-in-waiting. My brother, the Lord Prince Panto, has been working with Wakti Wapnasi for many years in secret. They seek to find a way to reveal the Prophecy of Prophecies, that which will restore the Empty Throne and return The Boy to us.” She looked between them both, her large eyes fierce with intensity. “I only tell you this because I cannot let a child remain in such danger - but this is of the utmost import, and must remain a secret - if you betray us, you will doom the whole of Wendimoor.”

“Wendimoor?” Erik asked in an aside to Charles.

“This world of theirs,” Charles murmured, but wheeled himself closer and clasped Litzibitz’s hand in both of his. “I swear to you, we’ll keep your secret. We have no wish to disturb your brother or Wakti’s work, and if we can help in any way, we will. Will you take us to her?”

Litzibitz looked up at Bigby once more. Her lady inclined her head just a little, and Litzibitz turned back with a wide, sweet smile. “Follow us.”

The way through the forest was slow going at first, with Charles’ chair hardly designed to pick its way through the undergrowth. Erik kept quiet and walked beside him as he swore under his breath, muscles straining as he forced it over roots that ground out on his footplates. As it tipped sideways, nearly dumping him on the ground, he swore viciously and thumped a nearby tree. Erik bit his lip and looked away, shielding his guilt and frustration behind a steel plate in his mind.

Litzibitz and Bigby turned back, heads tilted on one side. “Yes, I know, I’m slowing you down,” Charles hissed, more acid than Erik had heard him in a long time. “It’s not entirely by choice.”

“Does your chair not have feet to extend for rough terrain?” Bigby asked, poking at the wheels. “They should retract just here - hmm, why are they missing?”

Charles glanced up at Erik, then back at Bigby. “You have wheelchairs with feet here?”

Litzibitz nodded. “The Bofuki Nepoo are great inventors, and it is not just chairs with footed wheels, but cycles and infant carriages as well. Anything that may need to wheel on flat ground, and climb on rough.”

Charles bit his lip. “I’ll have to talk to Hank about something like that.”

“Or you can talk to me,” said Erik mildly. “Bigby, would you mind showing Charles an image of these extendable feet in your mind? Then Charles can pass it on to me, and I’ll make some modifications.”

Charles looked up at him with that old, wondering expression that always used to make Erik turn away from him, unable to look straight into the sun. He looked away now, too, holding down, but savouring, that leap in his heart.

“Thank you,” Charles said softly, a gentle smile warming Erik from the inside out as he added the strange, pointed extensions around Charles’ axles, drawing some metal out of the handles and arm rests.

Erik patted the push rim and stood, clearing his throat. “Let’s get going then.”

Charles moved forward, the spikes digging into the roots and soil as he pushed, and his smile turned to one of triumph as he made his way over the rough ground. “Perfect,” he grinned.

It still wasn’t easy, and by the time they made it through the woods into the little village, Charles was breathing hard. So was Erik, though. “I’ve grown lazy in your comfortable little school, Charles,” he muttered.

“You and me both, my friend.”

Charles’ wheel spikes retracted on the flat ground, they followed Litzibitz and Bigby to a large, low-roofed hut in the centre of the village as small, fur-clad people with multicoloured, streaked skin appeared to peer at them, heads turning this way and that strangely.

“So, you are the ones who disturb my prophecy,” said a low, gravelly voice, and Erik stopped dead in the path.

Erik, don’t be rude, said Charles’ voice in his head.

How in anyone’s mind is that a snail? Erik demanded, and he wasn’t too proud to admit that there was just the slightest bit of hysteria creeping into his voice. Because that was not a person, and it sure as hell wasn’t a snail. She was almost entirely covered in thick purple cloth, a huge, misshapen tricorn hat on her head, but her face was plated with strange, wood-like bones.

He swallowed hard, resisted the urge to shake his head and wonder at his life’s choices, and followed the man he would follow to the end of the world.

“Wakti Wapnasi?” Charles asked, holding out a hand.

The definitely-not-a-snail took his hand in her… appendages. She didn’t seem to have hands, more like flexible pincers with fingers. “That’s me,” she said, something gleefully cheerful under the gravel of her voice. “And you are the one who stole The Boy,” she said, turning her gaze on Erik.

“I’m… what?”

“The Boy who will save us all. The Boy of prophecy. A prophecy, I might add, that I almost had pinned down, before you came along and started to make things interesting.”

“I’m… terribly sorry,” said Charles, glancing at Erik.

Wakti laughed merrily. Erik wasn’t sure if he liked the noise at all. “Do not be sorry. I am eager to see how things change. Now, you want to talk to the Universe?”

“We want to get the children back,” Erik said. “And if that means talking to the Universe itself, then yes. Please.”

“Well, then,” Wakti said, and the bones or wooden structures on her face bent as she smiled. “You had best come in.”

Tagging anyone who interacted with the last chapter ^_^ @googiebeankat, @akasanata, @threecheer, @slytherclaw134689