#uhhhh i looked up aphrodisiacs and they are very sketchy

[kalypsichor]

Can you write a hc where the reader or the boys drink aphrodisiac❤️?

I feel like I got a request for this at some point and it disappeared from my inbox??? but yes, here we go with our regularly scheduled filth

the boys know something is different the moment they get home

you look up from where you’re sitting at the kitchen table, very much a deer in headlights

eyes glazed, cheeks flushed, and your fingers can’t stop fidgeting with the hem of your skirt

you’d found one of George’s fan mail packages laying around and thought it was tea--after all, it did say ‘drink me’--and you were suddenly feeling so, so warm and tingly

“what’s wrong, love?” Paul asks, coming up and feeling your forehead. you whine at his touch and nuzzle into it. for some reason, your skin feels so sensitive, and his hand is sending jolts to your core

John breathes out and kneels in front of your chair. “christ, she’s soaked through her panties.” he leans forward and licks a stripe right up your clothed pussy and you almost cry

“please, need you,” you pant, hips jerking as John pulls your panties aside and kisses your slick folds. “feel so warm... oh!”

Paul moves aside for Ringo to come and kiss you. Even just the feeling of his lips on yours, the feeling of Ringo licking into your mouth sets your nerves ablaze

that night, you come so many times you lose count

[roserecaps]

Week Five: Swamp Ass

*We are told that tonight’s episode will be hosted by the cast of Beauty and the Beast* Thanks ABC, I will be sure to ignore that.  

We resume the Bonfire Brawl between Corinne and Taylor. 

Corinne: “She makes you feel like you’re an idiot, and then you realize she’s a fucking idiot. I am gonna school her.” 

Class is in session!

Taylor: “If I walked around the house and said ‘Hi’ to everyone it would be really fake.”  Corinne: “You’re just rude.” Taylor: “I don’t think I have been rude.” Corinne: “You’re just gross.” 

Case closed... This girl brought some strong arguments to the table and executed them flawlessly. 

ROSE CEREMONY

Kristina (Loosely Translated): “Going into the rose ceremony, Taylor and Corinne had some sort of falling out and I say send them both home.”

The girls keep claiming that they feel like they are in high school with the level of drama and fighting, but I don’t think that this battle has graduated from 3rd grade. 

Corinne: “She’s stupid, she’s mean and she’s just a stupid meany” 

Nick/ABC ends up shelling out roses to both Taylor and Corinne so they can end this “enchanted” episode with a good ol’ fashioned two-on-one where one girls gets a rose and the other gets Corinne’s nanny. We’re playing for pink slips. 

Sarah is somehow blindsided by the fact that she is being sent home, and her telling us that she was not expecting it was the most that I think she has interacted with a camera this season. So Sarah, we were just as surprised.......

Nick: “It just keeps getting harder and harder.” Corinne: *looks down at Nick’s crotch*

Nick informs the chicks that he is “jazzed” for the next trip, he is looking to “spice it up”. “I can’t go to Taco Bell Nick, I’m on an all carb diet” - Alexis. 

THE BIG EASY 

Chris notifies the group that there will be a one-on-one, group date, and two-on-one. Then “hopes” to see everyone at the next rose ceremony... Chris, come on bro, we know that NEVER happens.

One-On-One (Rachel):

Nick: “You want to go shopping?” Rachel: “This is a flea market” Nick: “These are my favorite dates...” Rachel: “Cheap ass” Nick: “Wanna make out?”

Rachel and Nick grind on each other in the middle of the street to a second line band, perfectly placed below the room where the girls’ window, so they can all watch. 

The two sit down to a dinner in the middle of what could possibly be the creepiest warehouse full of Mardi Gras floats. Looks like a classic episode of “Are You Afraid of the Dark?”. 

How many sets of beads will Nick have to set on the table before Rachel gets the hint. 

*Sits down to dinner* Nick: “Tell me about yourself” Rachel: "Last time I was here was for a funeral” 

Whatever aphrodisiac was in those oysters are now gone... I’m shocked Nick didn’t have a follow up story about the girl who he plowed in the back of the local morgue.   

The group date card comes to the room, we could literally care less who is on the card, cause America already knows who isn’t. 

Corinne: “Let’s keep it civil and classy and see who he chooses...”

Let’s not. 

GROUP DATE 

Josephine: “We pull up to this white house (it’s yellow) with big oak trees (not a biology major, but 99% sure those aren’t oak trees).” Josephine apparently can’t make observations without Corinne feeding them to her. 

Raven: “Nick looks fine as a dime, a ten on all boards” - Yeah that... 

The group date tonight will be stuffing them into a haunted plantation with a sketchy bartender named Boo and his homemade mint juleps. 

I have a feeling you drink this dude’s juleps you are going to be seeing more than just ghosts. 

They find a convenient Ouija board and begin to ask it the  classic questions: “Who will get the group date rose?” “Will Nick get engaged soon?” Nick: “It’s not moving...” Alexis: “That’s so weiiiiiiird” - I don’t think she gets the concept. 

Jasmine: “I don’t believe in this Molly, Molly, Megan... Molly Megan ghost.” - May is about to fuck your ass up. 

Nick is just stoked that he can cop some feels tonight and can blame it on little girl and it’s not Bella for a change. 

Danielle M. with the rose outta no where.

-----

Back at the room Corinne and Taylor are preparing for their two-on-one. 

Corinne: “Taylor is not right for Nick, she is too high maintenance. 

Cut to... C in her bubble bath with a bottle of champs and a facial, as room service brings up an array of cake, wings, salad and eggs. She asks the lady to bring her change when she can. She definitely isn’t used to the help asking for money. 

Taylor: “Nick needs a girl with emotional intelligence.” 

Nick wouldn’t notice any form of intelligence unless it was sprayed out of an can across your tits.  

TWO-ON-ONE

Taylor: “Nick is picking between me, with a masters degree in clinical mental health and Corinne, who is a Bitch.” - I do believe her’s is a maters as well though, so there goes that argument.

Corinne: “Time to make America Corinne again!” - Not sure what the fuck that means, but she has my vote. 

Off to the Bayou! *whispers* “It’s about to be a...”

Taylor comes in hot with no bra and an arm/leg hug, there are no rules in love and war (with Corinne). 

Nick: “I know that two-on-one dates can get awkward, but I don’t want this to be” - So lets cruise through the water in a small boat, just the three of us and a dude from Swamp People. New rule; who ever doesn’t get the rose, goes home with him. 

Let’s add fuel to this fire... it’s VOODOO TIME! Love it ABC. 

Each girl has their energies read through Tarot Cards. I think this lady is from catering and the producers handed her a dress and her lines. 

Card Lady: “This card is the card of someone who is very to the point and who’s mouth gets her into a lot of trouble... Do you have any questions?” Corinne: “How do you make a Voodoo doll for a person?”

This is epic. 

Taylor: “This is not the person you want to make a relationship with... It would be made out of whip cream and lies.” - Uhhhh sounds delicious. 

Nick: “Blah, blah, blah, blah ... Corinne, will you accept this rose?”

Taylor stays in the swamp to absorb the spirit of revenge from the witch doctors and boards a boat, bus and Lyft to interrupt Corry and Nicks date. 

Taylor: “Nick will know the truth about Corinne!”