#unfortunately i couldn't stick with the print out forms but might try again

[greeneyedvamp]

Things that tend to help with my skin picking

None of these things are foolproof and I haven't yet stopped completely, but doing several consistently tends to reduce the amount of picking I do whenever I manage to stick with them long enough. Might edit occasionally with relevant observations.

Taking care of my mental wellbeing

This is something I've historically been terrible at, so it's more of an aspirational reminder for myself than a tip. I place it first as the most determining - none of the other ones will work unless I 1) don't need skin picking to cope and 2) have the emotional capacity to care about it. I tend to get extremely anxious about grades during academic semesters, and skin picking becomes an "affordable" method of procrastination, a calming ritual at the end of a stressful day and a way to focus when I read and write. So I need to find more fulfilling activities to do when I'm not studying and work on shifting my identity away from academic achievement. My (achievable) goals for next semester, based on previous experiences, are to: - keep a study planner and spread tasks across a week rather than trying to do everything within one day and as soon as possible - allocate a daily minimum for time to rest (which can involve established hobbies or doing nothing (see Jenny Odell)) - journal - divine whenever needed - meet different friends at least once a week regardless of how busy I am - drink herbal teas while I study to keep my mind calm and my hands occupied - go for walks to places I like or sit outside every other day - set less ambitious goals for uni art projects (and talk to a teacher about expectations and burnout prior to project brainstorm) - read fiction to expand my experience of the world

Multistep skincare kits

My mum got me a set of four ordered skincare products, and I've noticed that the desire to pick that often precedes or follows using a cleanser can be replaced with the desire to go through the steps one by one if I haven't been picking for a couple of hours prior to doing skincare.

Covering problematic areas with BB cream in the mornings

I think this is by far the most effective one for me. I can't as easily see redness and imperfections in the mirror from afar if they're covered with skin colour, so I'm not as compelled to come close, and I avoid touching my face when I don't see it if I'm scared of disturbing the uniformity. Doing this first thing in the morning after cleansing has allowed my face to heal completely on multiple occasions (except for pigmentation left behind), and my most devastating relapses happened when I either put it off or stopped doing it when my face was healed. It works as a preventative measure but can't make me stop once I've started. It also only works if applied only to the butterfly zone and forehead, because bb cream on my chin and temples feels disgusting and has the opposite effect.

Keeping my hair clean

When it gets greasy, I start to avoid looking at my reflection as a whole and instead focus in on small details, which, combined with a feeling of grossness, leads to me picking. I try to wash my hair more often to avoid this.

Treating my seborrheic dermatitis & eczema

Picking at my scalp and eczema often lead to damaging normal skin too, so getting rid of them has somewhat reduced the behaviour. Life also became a lot nicer when I stopped having to be ashamed of the very visible snowfall of dandruff that accompanied me, the habit of constantly picking at my itchy scalp, and of hairdressers seeing the scales and scabs.

Using a dim light source instead of ceiling lights

The first time I did this (using the light of a phone screen, before I moved to candles), I was surprised at how calm the experience was, as the anxiety associated with picking (that I didn't know I had) disappeared. Definitely works for this one time of day, but I might keep looking for a more comfortable light, because candles are intimidating.

Applying bold eye makeup

I've noticed that sometimes my picking is fuelled by the desire to frequently observe changes on my face; this becomes my reason to get up in the morning. Drawing bold black lines and experimenting with eye shadow fulfills this desire too, but in a much more fun and diverse way, and it provides an outlet for perfectionism - instead of seeking skin textures to fix, I can touch up on or change the makeup. I wouldn't be comfortable wearing it out in public, but it's fun to do at home. Unfortunately, I don't do it often enough for it to help in the long-term.

Fidget toy

I often pick to occupy my hands whenever I'm on my phone or reading a book. Carrying a fidget spinner with me at all times and taking it out whenever I open my kindle helps. My cat fears it though.

Asking my mum not to scold me

My picking was often aggravated by the fear of my mum getting mad at the sight of my face: I'd stay in the bathroom longer, waiting for the redness to subside and blood to clot, which would result in me going at it a second and third time; an aesthetician I went to also worsened the feeling of shame with comments. At some point I wrote a message to her explaining that she's not being helpful, and we agreed that I would make an effort and she would stop talking about it, although she can tell me to stop if I'm picking in her presence. I also asked to stop seeing the aesthetician and she let me. This slightly improved the state of my skin but significantly lifted the emotional burden

[hobiheavenly]

Karma’s Cravings pt. 3 (MYG)

✧ Min Yoongi x Reader

✧ Multichapter, Coffee Shop AU, E2L

✧ Warnings: multiple orgasms, cunnilingus (female receiving), penetration, slight dirty talk, slight angst

✧ Word Count: 4.3K

✧ Summary: Your life is going idyllically with your business with the exception of having to work with Min Yoongi who disapproves of your comercial tactics. but when one day a medium tells you he is to be the love of your life you are quick to shut her down but running away from fate can come with cause consequences.

✧ A/N: I DELIVER ONTO THEE THE SMUT! I’m sorry about the ending tho because I promise I want to prolong this a little more. Which means Yoongi and OC will be idiots for now... pls don’t hate me ;n;)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

You could see it in his eyes. It was only a matter of time for it. Yoongi had a dark look in his eyes and he seemed to have them dead set on you. The passion and the desire threatening to devour you in the process.

“Take our clothes off?” Yoongi asked “But ___, we haven't even kissed”

Yoongi gave you a seductive smile that shook you to the core. His eyes made you weak and all you could do is just sit there, mouth agape. He was getting closer and closer to you leaving you with nowhere to run. Moreover, you didn’t want to run. You couldn't move, body not responding to what your brain was ordering.

“We can take this slow if you want ____” his whisper made his voice drop lower, causing you to tremble.

The way your name comes out from his lips is sinful. Deep, sexy, and hypnotic. You tried to wake up from what can only be described as an attack to your emotions and your sex deprived pussy.

“What I tried to say was…..” But you didn't even finish your sentence. Yoongi abruptly kissed your lips, his lips plush lips moving on top of yours slowly and seductively. He embraced you, holding you close to him and instinctively you put your hands on his hard chest. Letting yourself go with the sensations that were forming in your mind, you let his masterful tongue explore your mouth and let go of all the emotions you had tried unsuccessfully to suppress. When he broke the kiss you both had to breathe heavily to recover the air missing air from your lungs.

“Ok, what was that?” You asked completely confused.

“Other than something amazing, I have no clue” Yoongi smiled as he saw directly into your eyes once again. He didn't know why he did it but he had felt better. All that pressure was going to kill him and when he kissed you he felt free, but there was a part of him that wanted more.

“Do you usually kiss every woman like that?” You smirked.

“No, only those who invite me to take our clothes off.”

“What I meant to say was that we should put on some dry clothes and take these off. But if you want to catch a cold, by all means.”

Yoongi smirked and separated from you as you tried to get off the counter. "She seems to enjoy torturing me" Yoongi thought a bit irritated. He tried to recover from what just happened and he looked as you walked to the phone. Your hips seemed to sway with a seductive rhythm while walking and the wet pants were still stuck to your skin making your butt look plump and round.

“As I was saying, it’s best we get naked so we can change out of these damp clothes and put on something dry before we get sick” You suggested.

“Yes, but unfortunately I don't carry around a spare change of clothes and I'm thinking you don't have men's clothes either”

“I don't have spare clothes, but my mannequins do so we can just use that.”

“Hell no! I prefer the suggestion of getting naked” Yoongi smiled trying to grab your hips and he hugged you “and while we are at it we can do other things”.

“Of course” you tried to turn around to see him. There was something enjoyable about the way he nestled his arms around you and the feeling of being in his arms. He kissed your neck sweetly as if he tried to convince you of the idea, and truth be told the idea didn’t seem so bad. Damn your conscience for waking up in the worst moment…

“NOT! What we should do is call the Car Association so they can help us with our cars and get some dry clothes and get a cookie while I'm at it. Now if you don't want to put on some dry clothes, feel free to stay in our wet clothes and get a cold. But you are not getting naked while I'm around.”

You pushed him away and went to the window where the male and female mannequins were and took off the clothes. It was more like lingerie but they were still useful pajamas. Hers was a red negligee that seemed to be a little small for you, and his was a black pajama bottom shorts (bordering on boxers) with a matching robe that had little red hearts printed all over.

“Hell no I am not going to put that on!” Yoongi said.

“Suit yourself” You shrugged “Get a cold for all I care.”

“Has anyone ever told you how obnoxious you are?”

“And has anyone ever told you that you whine too much? God! Now I'm remembering all the reasons why I don't like you!”

Yoongi kept looking at the pajama that you threw at him as you had went out back to grab a phone and call for help. He had gotten a little frustrated after seeing how much he had suffered inside just so you could blow him away. But even when you tried to ignore it, he could see you had been shocked and moved by his kiss. You had let loose just like he did and had enjoyed it. So then, why were you pulling away from him?

His mind came back for a second, eyes still looking at the ridiculous and tight pajama with little red hearts. There was no way on earth he was going put on that pajama! No way in hell…..

Yoongi couldn't believe he was actually wearing that stupid pajama. If Hoseok saw him he would be dying of laughter, especially considering that it’s his fault Yoongi was going through all this in the first place. If he hadn't told him that you were a good choice for him and that he needed a woman he wouldn't be having these thoughts about you.

No, there is someone else. Madame Karma! Somehow she did something. He might not be a believer of bad luck and curses, but maybe she was the one who stole his gasoline and made your car die out. And maybe she made the battery of both cell phones die out.

Yes it seemed easy to blame someone. But something in his mind made him think that this was all his fault, for not knowing how to control his needs. Yoongi didn't want you to see the lack of female entertainment he had. Though it seemed fun to see if you were up to the type of entertainment he desired to have.

You came back with a tray with two cups of coffee and a plate of cookies. There was a small cup with milk and a cup with sugar. As you put it on a coffee table in front of the sofa, you could feel Yoongi gaze still fixed on you. The red negligee you wore made you show your long silky legs. Unfortunately the size was tad bit small for your curves, almost showing your butt as you placed the tray on the table.

“Nice pajama” You smiled “glad to see you didn't want to get a cold.”

“Yes well you don't look so bad yourself” Yoongi looked at you up and down as he sat down on the sofa. He was sure the image of you in that negligee was gonna burn in his mind forever and be the star of many of his fantasies.

“Yes well I'm a size bigger than this but it's a good thing the fabric stretches” you said while trying to pull down the dress so it could cover some part of your legs, in vain “I called the Car Association and they told me that they would be here in a couple of hours. How would you like your coffee?”

“I want some decaf, I don't want to lose the sleep at night.”

“Don't worry I used decaf. I don't want to lose sleep either. Sugar?”

“One of sugar and very little milk” Yoongi grabbed his cup once it was prepared as you offered a cookie which he accepted. He remembered the way you had told him about the cookie, "BITE ME" you had said. And thinking about it now, it didn't seem like such a bad idea.

“Why don't you tell me about yourself?” You suggested, clearly needing a distraction from imagining him naked and in your arms. Yoongi looked at you puzzled, “You said I don't know you much so why don't you tell me about yourself.”

“Well there isn't much to say. I live alone and I mostly stick to my work. I don't have any family around so it’s just myself. Hoseok and I used to live together but he moved to another apartment close to his other job. I just don't have time for socializing. But Hoseok insists I get a woman or something like that.”

“I see” You sipped of your coffee “You seem to have the same thing as I do. Seokjin and his boyfriend insist so much about how I should get a boyfriend and well right now I just love my job so much I don't think I need to get a man. It's not like I haven't gone out on dates, but they always end up being too self-centered or too stupid or too nerdy. I have to say that if i were to choose between being with those guys or being alone, I prefer to be alone.”

“We finally agree on something” Yoongi chuckled “do you live on your own too?”

“Yeah, well after I told my father that I was going to start a coffee shop business he didn't seem to be very happy with it. So I started to get my independence and I moved out of my parents' house. Like you I was living with my friend Namjoon but after I introduced him to Seokjin. The two of them fell deeply in love and just made me feel like a bad third wheel. Don’t get me wrong I love them wholeheartedly and they’re my best friends, but there’s so much I can take of them having sex in the next room without loosing it. So now I live alone in a cute little studio. And what about you? Why do you live all alone?”

“My parents live in Daegu and they are sweet and simple people. My father particularly is a practical man, he owns small businesses and always told me strive for the same practicality he had developed so i wouldn’t struggle. At one point in my life I wanted to pursue music but when my dad found out he got rather pissed” Yoongi sighed, remembering the anger in his father's eyes, the disappointment him his mother's face.

“They kept saying it was only gonna lead me to a poor life. In the end, since my older brother decided on a different career path that was still acceptable to parents eyes, I followed in my father's steps. My mother seemed so proud of me when she saw me graduate from a career I had no interest in. But I never wanted to destroy that gleam in her eyes so I just kept doing this. I miss them from time to time but I manage to visit every so often.”

You looked at the man who you thought you knew all this time as an asshole and an idiot only to find a tender and loving man sitting in front of you. So there was more to this informal clone than meets the eye. To say that you were surprised at his confession was an understatement.

“I am so sorry” You said compassionately “I had no idea. No wonder you seem so tough.”

“Looks like you’re looking for more compliments” Yoongi smiled “Well ___, you are a very strong woman. And I have to say that you look spectacular in that dress.”

“You are only saying that so you can get another cookie” you laughed nervously trying to shake it off as one of his jokes, not wanting to show how much the compliment had really affected you.

“True but I still think so” Yoongi said giving you a sexy smile that caused your face to turn red as a tomato.

You turned around and tried to get the image of Yoongi naked, kissing you and making you scream in pleasure out of your mind. It didn't matter what that damn medium said, Yoongi is not your soul mate and you are NOT attracted to him.

"LIAR" a voice in your mind said as you scolded yourself, "Stop thinking of him like that, stop thinking of him in any way possible!"

You got back the cookie that was shaped like pair of lips and you extended it to him. “Here you go. Bite me!”

Yoongi grabbed your hand and he got up very close to you. “I think you should change the name of the cookie” Yoongi whispered in her ear, his deep tone creating a ticklish chill to spread all over your body.

“And what do you have in mind?”

“Kiss me” you could imagine his devilish smile as he uttered the words in your ear.

“Ok” was all you could say. That man took the words away from her without even thinking.

“Suddenly you agree with everything”

“That's what happens when a sexy guy talks sweetly into my ears” you blush deepened “ok then, kiss me!”

“And indeed I shall” he growled in response.

Yoongi got close to your lips and trapped them with his. He grabbed you again around him so you wouldn't escape this time. You felt the room spin and lose control of everything once more. It was addicting to feel him, the taste of the bitter coffee still lingering in his mouth. You grabbed onto to his neck as your legs wobbled, you weren’t going to last long. He started to taste the skin of your neck to your cleavage. There wasn’t any need to touch your breast with his hand, just the feeling of his lips on your skin was enough to have your nipples become hard.

“Yoongi, I am not going to last much like this” You said very softly.

“You’re right” Yoongi kept kissing you but he saw around the room “wanna see if your counter can support both our weight?”

Words had escaped your mind so you only nodded and he carried you once again to the counter. As you sat there, legs open feeling his increasing hard on press against your opening causing a moan escape your mouth. He began to kiss your lips passionately once again, both of you devouring each other with yearning as if every moment, every kiss would be the last. You wrapped your legs around his waist closing whatever distance there was left, as he was pulling the straps of your dress down.

Yoongi kissed your skin as you grabbed onto his shoulders and leaning your head back so he would have a better access of your body. Once your breasts were free, negligee covering only your hips down, he kissed each mound delicately causing your nipples to harden with the cool air and the sensation of his hands and lips on you.

Yoongi enjoyed the sensitivity you had to his touch, pleasured in the thought that the moans you were so deliciously exclaiming from your lips were caused by him alone bringing a sense of pride in him.

“Your skin is just as I imagined it” Yoongi said softly against you “it tastes of sugar and flowers. Delicious!”

“Oh, so you have been imagining this” you smiled seductively.

“Oh yes, and you don't know how much I have been wanting to taste you here” he touched your arms, “and here” he kissed your breasts “and very much here!”

Yoongi extended his hand all the way to your legs, to the center of your heat. You understood immediately what he tried to say. Instinct overtook you causing a certain shyness as he touched the outside skin of your cunt but it only took him one more deep kiss to dissolve all mental insecurity. Once he gained access, Yoongi opened his eyes wide and smiled.

“You aren't wearing nothing underneath” he said in a hot, husky voice. Yoongi’s fingers manages to take access of your already wet and hot pussy and dexterously finds

your clit tracing circles around it, playing with it like the button of a game console and you were his play game. The movement was sure to cause a sweet delightful moan to escape cursing the gods at how good that felt.

“I didn't think….ah….I would need it” you were struggling to think but with him touching you that way you were barely thinking straight “can’t believe this feels so good”

“Do you doubt my sexual abilities?” Yoongi introduces a nipple in his mouth, his tongue slowly dragging and licking them. This man is out to make you crazy. The mix of having him play with the sensitivity of both your clit and your nipple was enough to have you squirming and moving your hips back and forth.

“An office man who spends 75 percent of the time scowling shouldn’t be THIS good at sex” you joked, only causing him to increase the speed of his fingers causing you to scream at the increasing waves pleasure. You were close to the edge, so close you were just in the brink of deep diving into an orgasm, when suddenly Yoongi’s lips abandon your breast, slowly slithers down to your crotch, and smiles devilishly.

“Lucky for you, I love to prove people wrong”

If you were already dying of pleasure, it only took only stroke of his tongue in your clit to have you plunge into the most mind boggling orgasm you ever had in your life. Your thighs were trembling as Yoongi’s head was still between them. He grabs them with his hands to keep them still at the risk of you almost asphyxiating him trying to shut them close by instinct. In no moment does his tongue stop stroking your folds, eating you up like a starving man, drinking your fluids as if they were ambrosia in his mouth.

“So tasty…” You could see Yoongi’s mouth shining bright with your cum. You pulled him back to where you were as you kissed him again. Knowing well that if he stayed there any longer you continue driving you mad. He only kept kissing you till you were left without any air, lips swollen and the taste of your cum lingering in your mouth. You pulled his pajama bottom deciding that it wasn’t fair that only one of you to was so indecently naked but you were met with yet another surprise. Revealing that not only did he not have any underwear as well but his dick sprung out making your eyes widen at the sight. To say that Yoongi was well endowed was an understatement. The image of his hard cock making your mouth water.

“Holy shit your beautiful” you whispered.

“But not like you” Yoongi said “are you sure you want this?” Always a gentleman who asks for permission even when you know well enough he’s at the verge of losing his mind. He grabbed your chin and made head raise and see him eye to eye. “Use your words, Baby”

It was such a cute term of endearment that coming from his lips seemed foreign to you but delightful. You get close to him, your breath tickling his ear as you say in low husky voice, “Min Yoongi, I want your thick throbbing cock inside my wet hot pussy.”

You were never much for dirty talk. The words just naturally escaped your lips as if you’ve been saying them for a lifetime but as soo. As they were out there being heard by Yoongi your cheeks turned a deep red, a reaction that didn’t go unnoticed by him.

The man kissed your shoulder and touched the skin of your back causing a shiver to run all over. You just closed her eyes and let him do all the exploring he wanted. At this point he could fuck the everloving lights out of you and you wouldn’t mind. He grabbed something from his pocket, put on a condom as he continued to kiss your skin.

“Yoongi, I need you inside me…please…” you breathed heavily.

“As you wish my dear” Yoongi said positions his cock right in your hot entrance. The movement is slow but having your pussy all wet after your first orgasm helped the entrance of his cock a much smoother experience. You could feel him filling your walls, initially with a little bit of pain but soon it was replaced by delicious pleasure.

In a matter of minutes the pace increases quickly growing the intensity of each thrust. Perhaps it was the lack of sexual activity for both of you but it was euphoric to have each other become one. The tightness of your cunt welcoming his throbbing cock as if the gods themselves sang in heaven for this hot, dirty and wild reunion of your bodies.

You looked at Yoongi as he entered you, a drop of sweat starting to roll down his temple. His eyes were darkened with that intense desire you saw before but now the fire in his stare had increased to hellish levels. “Fuck I’ve been wanting to do this for so long! Who’s offering a slow trip to pleasure now?”

The reminder of your first encounter had been long forgotten but the phrase switched all memories on. To think he remembered after all this time made you smile in tenderness but the feeling was soon fucked away. His thrust become hard causing you to cry and whimper in an exquisite pain. “If I would have known….it was this good… I would have fucked you right that moment” you pant breathlessly meeting his hips with each trust.

The ripples of the oncoming orgasm was coming too soon for both of you. “That’s it baby, cum on my fucking cock” the obscene command echoed in your mind. Your mind, your body, your feelings and sensations were all in this man's hands. Your mind was drowning in the feeling, drowned in Yoongi…Yoongi… Yoongi….

“YOONGI” You screamed as your body convulsed in an overwhelming orgasm peaked all over your body, eyes opening wide rolling back as you were set in this high.

It was heaven, it was madness, it was bliss, it was sin. All at the same time. The orgasm you felt before was nothing compared to the feeling of coming on Yoongi’s dick,

It didn’t take long for him to follow after you. His final thrusts becoming sloppy and uncoordinated until he releases his cum while inside you. You kissed his temples tasting the salty taste of his sweat and holding him tightly against you. Both of you didn’t want to let go of the moment, basking in the sexual afterglow.

“It’s too perfect!” You thought.

Suddenly they heard a something ring. Yoongi and you opened your eyes to see Yoongi’s pager go off. Seriously he must be the only person in existence to actually use one of those other than a doctor. He slowly let you go and went to grab the dreaded device.

“Damn, it's my boss” Yoongi rubbed his temples. As your mind settled in a thousand thoughts came running through. Almost like destiny...like karma…was this truly destiny though? Did Yoongi even like you or was it just the suggestive idea that brought forth interest of love and sex? And it wasn’t even love because he never said those words... neither did you. He turned around saw a disappointed frown grow on your face as you grabbed your clothes, “wait what are you doing?”

“Yoongi, I want you to be completely honest. If Madame Karma hadn’t told us that we were soulmates would you have made love to me?”

Would he? He knew he was attracted to you since the first day but it was only attraction. He wanted to say yes. But he himself wasn’t sure if what he felt was love. Never having experiences it makes it harder to distinguish. You take his silence as a sufficient answer.

“I know that what we just had was good, but is this really what we truly want or just what we think we want only because it was introduced to our mind? Plus I have my life and my coffee shop you’re my manager, that wouldn’t be the best thing to do professionally. I can't let you stop your job because of me. And even when all of this was amazing, I know we are very different from one another.”

“So you are regretting it” Yoongi tried to conclude.

“No it's not that! This had to happen sooner or later” You blushed “I admit I was hoping we would. But we work together, it would be a bit hard for us.”

“Let’s forget this” Yoongi said coldly, “you’re right, you work under me. Professionally it would not be wise” It sounded a bit harsh but it was true, this would make their work relation worse than what it already was. He got his clothes back on and for the rest of the night maintained a cordial silence between each other. Thankfully it didn’t last long since the car aids came just a few moments later. Once they had their cars fixed, they both went their different ways.

"Yes" you thought "Its best we kept our distance"

"Can't say I failed" Yoongi thought "I must have fallen in the temptation of the night. I mean it is Valentines Day. Even so…"

"I am never going to forget this night no matter how hard I try" you both thought.