#unfortunately i don't have a custom tag for the bravely series. y'all are gonna have to witness my hottest of takes

[alewyren]

final fantasy!

I wasn’t sure if I should include Bravely Default or not because ohhh man I have some fuckin Thoughts, so I’ll just do one for mainline FF and one for Bravely Default.

The first character I first fell in love with: 

Tidus left a strong impression on me as a kid due to the way FFX ended, and I still really like him, but I wouldn’t say I was ever in love with him. On the other hand, Fang from FFXIII turned me gay.

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: 

Kuja, I think? As much as I will maintain that he is the objective best FF villain until the day I die, and as much as that outfit is IC for him, it’s still, uh. Not good. It’s not even that it’s too feminine, it’s just fucking ugly, lmao. Doesn’t make for a great first impression. But god fucking damn, he is very, very good. Maybe at some point I’ll whip up a meta about him, but I’m not sure what to say that hasn’t been covered already.

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: 

Sephiroth. He’s got a cool design, a great theme song (those chosen by the planet, not one winged angel), and a phenomenally intimidating presence. But the thing is, as far as FF7 itself is concerned, he’s barely a character. He’s long dead by the time of the game and exists only as an echo of the past and a manifestation of Cloud’s psychological problems. By the end, he’s more Jenova (who herself is more a force of nature than a character) than himself imo. He works because of what he represents, and the mystery surrounding him, not because of who he is. Hailing him as the “best FF villain” misses the point. I feel like Squeenix themselves don’t get what was great about Sephiroth, since we keep getting these immensely fucking bland villains like Vayne, Caius, and Ardyn that are clearly trying to recapture the Sephiroth magic by focusing on the cool factor or the relationship with the protag or whatever when none of that is why Sephiroth worked in FF7 to begin with.

The character I love that everyone else hates: 

Vanille. Yeah the English voice direction was awful, yeah the noises she makes when riding her eidolon are immensely fucking uncomfortable, but she’s actually a really interesting character who deserved more time to shine, and I maintain that she should have been the protag of FF13 rather than Pink Squall. Since she has like, y’know, a much more direct hand in the entire plot of the goddamn game.

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: 

uuuuuuuhhh I really don’t know. Maybe Kain. I used to think he was the shit but now I’m just like “haha, mr. friendzone at it again.” Or maybe Cloud, thanks to Advent Children taking a steaming dump on his personality in the name of fanservice.

The character I would totally smooch: 

FANG. SHE IS SO FUCKING HOT GOOD LORD I’M GAY. Also Rydia. Uh, adult Rydia, that is.

The character I’d want to be like: 

Fang is pretty goals, but she’s a bit more butch than I personally see myself, haha. Maybe Celes, sans heterosexuality and poor taste in dudes. She’s very cool, strong, and sexy.

The character I’d slap: 

Squall I guess? Cheer Up Emo Kid!

A pairing that I love: 

Kuja/Terra! I’d toyed with the idea before thanks to Dissidia 012, but NT sold me forever. There are a lot of reasons these two work so well, the most important being that their interactions are absolutely fucking precious. The reason he freed her from Kefka’s control in the first place, apart from wanting to stick it to the asshole clown, was because he empathized with her, but when she thanked him later he downplayed the hell out of it. Terra genuinely tries to reach out to him, and he’s receptive, but aloof, and acts so theatrical about it (”If that is what Her Highness wishes.”) It’s… cute? Like, they’re both pretty damn emotionally stunted due to their, uh, irregular upbringings, and there’s so much potential there! *slams fists on table* GIVE ME MORE

A pairing that I despise: 

Come to think of it, I don’t think I have a single genuine notp in the entire Final Fantasy franchise. Even ships I don’t really care for, like Cecil/Rosa, Locke/Celes or Wakka/Lulu, I wouldn’t say I hate them, just think they’re lame and poorly written. I guess Kuja/Zidane? Yeah, yeah, I know, rich as fuck coming from me, but I just don’t like them romantically at all. The most important reason being that they’re ugly as sin together.

and now, the bravely default hot takes nobody asked for but that I will rant about at literally any given opportunity.

The first character I first fell in love with: 

EDEA!!! I love her SO MUCH! She’s an adorable, precious ENTJ child who’s so headstrong, but naive, and so endearing. Her design (in the first game–blue is not her color) is great, and she has some of the best class outfit designs as well. She’s also the main melee bulk of the party, which I find immensely refreshing in a franchise where the girls are usually mages or rogues. 

Her character arc is pretty basic, sure, but it works. For starters, she’s the best handled rebellious princess I’ve seen, in that she just flat out turns on Eternia–everything she’s ever known–with scarcely a second thought. Not because she feels trapped by the burdens of being royalty or whatever, she’s just stubborn and willful and has an iron sense of right and wrong that she’s willing to fight for above all else. Which, I mean, yeah, evil empire, but it’s not that simple. Which is why her arc is about reconciling with the fact that it isn’t all black and white, and embracing her role as eventual queen of Eternia. 

The writing is pretty hamfisted, what with her literally calling things “black and white,” but she’s 15, so I’ll give it a pass. Yeah, I know the American version aged her up to make the fanservice shit less gross, but it doesn’t really work when her character is about overcoming her childish worldview, lol. Like, she’s a babbu. You can’t just change a number and make her less babbu. Her theme song is literally called “Baby Bird.” Maybe just don’t fucking sexualize characters who are meant to be read as childish in the first place? She deserved so much better than the writing she got in Bravely Second, which I’ll… get to later, but she was still an absolute delight. Did I mention she’s also hilarious? “Oops, my foot slipped.” “You just DROPKICKED ME!”

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: 

Yew. I mean, I don’t love him as much as Edea, but Bravely Second was kind of a hot mess, if fun, and his arc pleasantly surprised me. He kind of had a similar arc as Edea in the first game, but in the opposite direction. Over the course of the game he gradually overcame his rich, upper class nerd privilege worldview and became Woke ™, and then used his privilege to help people. By contrast, Edea still had to go through the journey of getting past her simplistic worldview, but whereas she was quick to recognize the fact that her world was wrong and had to learn not to see things in extremes, Yew had to work to claw his way outside of that box in the first place. The plot twist about his brother was obvious as hell but like, whatever, it was fun. His mask didn’t even cover that much of his face, how did he not know,

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: 

Tiz. He’s boring, not much else to say there. Except, his design in Bravely Second had me excited as hell because he looks so emo and ow the edge and I was really excited to see what they were gonna do with him, but his personality is… exactly the same as the first game? Why bring him back at all? For that matter, why kill him off in the first place? I know they were going for some meta shit, but like… why?

The character I love that everyone else hates: 

Airy, but idk if that counts because I love her for precisely the reasons everyone else hates her. Even if I think the good end should have been obtained by seeing through her ruse and blowing up the crystals rather than just going along with what she says and repeating the same fucking sequence of bosses over and over…

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: 

Ringabel. Mainly for shipping reasons and because I’m increasingly exhausted with the whole chivalrous pervert trope, especially when Edea was very much underage in the first game, lmao. He’s a good character objectively speaking, but a lot of his potential wasn’t capitalized on and I still don’t get how Alternis did a complete 180 from his brooding initial personality, to… that. Or why there were AU Ringabels in the ending sequence of the first game when I thought the whole point was that he was a spanner in the works who shouldn’t have been part of the party in the first place, and that’s how they managed to foil Airy? Or, it should have been, if they didn’t literally just go along with what she said until the end despite his very clear warnings that she was up to some shady shit. The final stretch of Bravely was a fucking trainwreck, nothing new there.

The character I would totally smooch: 

Edea. But like, a forehead smooch, because she’s a babbu. Though she is 18 for real this time in Second, isn’t she? And she’s matured considerably by then too… hrm.

The character I’d want to be like: 

Edea post-character development. She’s got her shit together, and she’s still strong-willed, outgoing, and adorable as all hecke.

The character I’d slap: 

Yulyana. Fuck the quirky pervert trope, seriously. It’s not funny, it’s never been funny, and it never will be funny.

A pairing that I love: 

Well, Agnes/Olivia is the only pairing that I straightforwardly ship, and I’ll never not be mad that they just, like. Forgot about Olivia in the final stretch of the game. Like they really just killed her off for shock value, huh? Okay Sure.

I like Edea/Alternis a lot too, but it’s complicated. Reading through D’s Journal during a blind playthrough left way more of an impact on me than Ringabel’s dumb flirting, but they definitely have a lot of shit to work through before they get together. They obviously both genuinely care about each other, though Edea’s got other shit on her plate to worry about rather than Alternis being a lovelorn, emo weirdo. But like, he’s not only so emotionally distant from her despite his feelings that she doesn’t even know what his face looks like, but he’s got a weird possessive streak towards her? It might be a translation thing but the phrasing “I would have taken you as my wife” is a bit. Iffy. Especially considering a. the age gap and b. she outranks him. Of course she’s having none of this shit, but I do like the idea of them both maturing, actually bonding like human beings, and getting together when they’re older, ie: when Edea is queen and Alternis has learned to accept his fate as a permabottom. Childhood friend loyalty kink is my passion, and like, while Edea is very much a take charge no nonsense lady, she struggles with personal relationships and emotions. They both do, and that’s why their relationship is so complicated and interesting. I’d love to read slowburn of them.

A pairing that I despise: 

Rindea. But wait, you say! Didn’t you just write a whole paragraph on how you like Altdea? Well, yes. I do stand by that, and I enjoy the ship because of its problems rather than in spite of them. Rindea is. Not that. While Altdea is  a flawed relationship that I’d love to see mature into something functional along with the characters themselves, Rindea is a disgustingly written trainwreck that shits on all that potential, as well as Edea’s entire fucking character, constantly.

I don’t hate the very idea of these two as an item. The problem is how badly said item is written. Even though Rindea has the same problematic base as Altdea, which is treated as flawed, it just completely fucking glosses over all of that, everything that actually makes their relationship interesting, in favor of generic hetero pervy slap slap kiss tsundere bullshit. Yes, Ringabel’s feelings for her run deeper than that, but that’s basically all that their dynamic, their actual interactions, amount to. And for some reason she’s into it? Like, I’m sorry, but fucking when and why did she develop feelings for him? Was it before or after she learned about his true identity? Is it because he’s Alternis or in spite of it? Hell, how did she feel about that revelation in the first place? All of that is very much worth addressing, but they LITERALLY NEVER DO.

Did she just secretly like his annoying flirting all along because no obviously means yes? Like, Ringabel still fucking carries all the baggage associated with being Alternis but the game doesn’t give a fuck! It’s overbearing and weird when Alternis comes onto Edea, but when Ringabel does it it’s peak romance! He loves her so it’s okay! And we don’t know anything about Edea’s feelings for him because the game just never fucking goes into it! It’s just assumed that she must like him back! Hey, here’s a thought! Maybe if Ringabel actually loves her so much he could respect her feelings and lay the fuck off! Oh wait, no means yes, right. And don’t even get me started on Bravely Second, jesus fucking christ. You seriously mean to tell me that, according to Yoko, my girl’s only personal damage is being tfw no bf? Nothing about the stress of ruling a nation or any of her other relationships? Nothing even about how her feelings for Ringabel might actually be more fucking complicated than dokidoki take me with you ringabel kun? Absolutely Fucking Disgusting.

Listen. I like problematic ships, but Rindea is just fucking bad, and it’s made worse by the fact that canon thinks it’s good. At this point they’ve missed so many opportunities to actually expand meaningfully on Edea’s side of the relationship that it’s a lost fucking cause and I want it to die in a fire. Good lord I hate this ship and it’s exhausting being an Edea main when it’s the entire fandom’s OTP. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

I ranted more about this ship as well as the other canon Bravely ships in this post and will probably do so again when presented the opportunity.