#us dangling a limp beau swan over a looney tunes-style pool labeled 'DISORDERS'

[threebooksoneplot]

What if the real reason Bella was all lethargic and depressed for months after Edward left was because she had Lyme disease from lying in the woods

don't make us give beau another chronic illness/disorder. because we'll do it. we'll fucking do it man—shannon

lmfaoooo she WOULLLLDDD. Labia Tick Episode™ of House MD but it's bella swan 💀 —G

[threebooksoneplot]

your tags on https://www(dot)tumblr(dot)com/threebooksoneplot/735454495226593280/what-if-the-real-reason-bella-was-all-lethargic say: "#us dangling a limp beau swan over a looney tunes-style pool labeled 'DISORDERS'#wearing old west clothes and threatening to do it unless we get a 30k in pennies by sundown#deliver it by throwing it through the cullen's window please"

i thought it would be fun to play with the idea of $30k in pennies. please enjoy these facts:

$30,000 USD is 3,000,000 pennies.

A USAmerican penny weighs 0.08818 ounces or 2.5 grams.

3,000,000 pennies therefore weigh 16534 pounds or 7499.6 kilograms. This is more than the mass of a typical large elephant (≈ 6000 kg).

A USAmerican penny has a volume of 0.027 cubic inches or 0.442 cubic centimeters.

3,000,000 pennies therefore have a volume of 1.74 cubic yards/351 gallons or 1.33 cubic meters. This is about the volume of 9 standard bathubs (≈40 gallons).

oh??? my god??? thank you so much for doing this math. this is not anything I would have ever been able to figure out myself and the idea of bella chucking 8 tons of pennies through the cullens' front window over the course of, idk, weeks? months? is DELIGHTFUL to' me. she and jacob should've just sat out front with dennis the menace -style slingshots, flinging sacks of coins through as many windows as they could hit—shannon

in the Berenstein Universe this was canon and then shannon and I did a whole Bit about bella depriving the starving Marks family of those 8 bathtubs of pennies —G