#v

[mundanemiseries]

Was thinking and I realized smth. Whenever Joel's around (living) people, especially if they're in that late 20s - early 30s age range, it kinda puts him in an odd mood.

If he hadn't died, he had hadn't become a reaper, he'd be around the same age as them. He ends up thinking about that a lot, the what ifs floating into his mind.

What if he hadn't died back then? What if he had chosen to live again, despite the fact there wasn't anyone or anything waiting for him. Where would he be right now? What would his life had been?

It felt odd, being in this limbo between the living and dead for so long. On paper he's a few months off from his twenties, just as he had been since he died. But that was thirteen years ago.

He forgets sometimes he's technically still nineteen. References to childhood memories someone his (apparent) age shouldn't have, feelings for the living he feels he has to quickly stomp out once he remembers how much younger he physically is than what he is in his mind.

Especially with the living. At least with his fellow reapers, other non human/non mortal beings....they were all kinda in that boat.

[mundanemiseries]

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝?

ruined by fear

you live on the edge of your seat, but it is not a good thing. youre constantly looking over your shoulder, unsure of what will hurt you next. you have been hurt so much, but you refuse to adapt to your pain. instead, you avoid what you cannot control. you are so afraid of making a mistake, of being brought closer to your doom. but, despite this, you cannot articulate what you fear. you are just afraid. only afraid. and you will be afraid until you are brought to what you fear.

ruined by apathy

you cant bring yourself to care. you hate that you cant feel what you used to be able to feel. you hate that you cant be happy. you hate that you cant bring yourself to actually hate. your apathy has swallowed you and immersed you in a well of nothingness. you cant feel what you cant forget. you cant see what you close your eyes to. you choose to feel nothing, and you have lost everything because of it.

[mundanemiseries]

❝ ...well, fuck you too. ❞

❝ ...so uh...which boyfriend is it not? ❞

[mundanemiseries]

          He’s starting to get ahold of controlling his vision again. It’d probably be a lot easier if he could just remember anything that happened in the past three years but...oh well.

          It...wasn’t all that different from using psychs, actually. Some part of the puzzle still felt missing but...at least he wasn’t accidentally freezing everything around him now.

[mundanemiseries]

“...so I get why Beat wanted me to play genshin now...”

          He knows the missing piece of his vision equation now too...now how the hell would he get his hands on a catalyst...or at least something catalyst adjacent...?

[mundanemiseries]

@strawberry-barista :

It had taken Hanekoma quite a while to get truly settled into his house, but even after everything was put away and he was back comfortable in his home, he wasn't ready for bed. Another cup of coffee and he was on the phone, trying to get someone to come see him. It was early in the morning, but he hoped it wasn't too early to get his message across.

Viewfinder: I just made it home from my vacation. I have been arranging my things since, but I wanted to extend an invitation to you now that I have finished organizing everything. If you would like, it would be my pleasure to host your visit. You need not arrange a response. I will be awake and working for a while, so you may simply come at your convenience. -Hanekoma

And with that he turned and began arranging a breakfast for Joel.

  It had been a rough morning. A nightmare he just...couldn't shake off no matter what he did. So the reaper was just stuck, staring at the ceiling of his room, stewing in his thoughts as his phone went off.

  There was a small flash of hesitation as Joel read Sanae's text, that nagging thought that's been hanging over him lately. That this family...Hope and Sanae....that they weren't his to have. That there wasn't a place for him with them. That he'd have to let them go eventually like so many other things in his life and-

[ to : Sanae ]

[ txt: ] alright [ txt: ] m on my way tito

  A quick text to the barista as Lee hopped into the reaper's hood, the two heading out not long after.

  It...it wasn't the time for that. He...likely didn't truly belong there (heaven knows he's probably not deserving of them to being with) but...but for now he still had them. He could still allow himself to enjoy their company while he still could.

[mundanemiseries]

bold any fears that apply to your muse, italicize any that make them uncomfortable

dark // fire // open water // deep water // being alone // crowded spaces // confined spaces // open spaces // change // failure // war // loss of control // powerlessness // prison // blood // drowning // suffocation // public speaking // natural animals // the supernatural // heights // death // intimacy // rejection // abandonment // loss // the unknown // the future // not being good enough // scary stories // speaking to new people // poverty // loud noises // lack of noise // being touched // forgetting // insects // disease // falling // being forgotten

As for Aleph:

dark // fire // open water // deep water // being alone // crowded spaces // confined spaces // open spaces // change // failure // war // loss of control // powerlessness // prison/containment // blood // drowning // suffocation // public speaking // natural animals // the supernatural // heights // death // intimacy // rejection // abandonment // loss // the unknown // the future // not being good enough // scary stories // speaking to new people // poverty // loud noises // lack of noise // being touched // forgetting // insects // disease // falling // being forgotten

[mundanemiseries]

@kingsmedley​​ | spotify wrapped starters [ accepting ]

9?

[ 9. Two Good Things - Modern Baseball ]

        He couldn’t sleep tonight. Sleepless nights hadn’t been all that common lately but...something about readjusting to life in Shibuya again and the void of memory that’s been the past three years just...wasn’t letting him rest.

        So he turned to his main go to on nights like this, humming an old song from his teenage years to himself as he wandered the city. At least it gave him the chance to get his mental map of the city up to date, take in what’s changed.

        In his wandering, he spotted a vaguely familiar figure. The reaper wandered up to the blonde, staring up at the night sky above the two of them.

“...long night for you too, I guess?”

[mundanemiseries]

@limitlesspossibilities​ | x

"I mean...you do have a point there kid...”

“...guess it’s only a sad thing when you can’t go back.”

          He sighed, tilting his head back to rest on the bench he was sitting on. Maybe it was just his own perspective but there was a lot he never really appreciated about his hometown before he left.

                    Shame he’ll never see the place again.

[mundanemiseries]

“....”

“...why the hell is my door frozen shut?”

          ...it’s not even cold enough for ice. He doesn’t notice the glowing blue stone hanging from his camera bag on the nearby coffee table.

[mundanemiseries]

"...y'all wanna meet a baby?"

Joel's holding up a small Lion Noise, kinda looked like Leo Cantus as a cub.

"His name's Lii."

The reaper's conveniently sidestepping the fact Lee's also his attack noise during game weeks. Not the time, baby cantus time.

[mundanemiseries]

@hopeful-hugz :

Showing up in front of him with food and drinks. Did Hope teleport through the fucking door? YEAH. "I brought dinner."

  Joel poked his head out of the small pile of blankets he was currently buried under. He...didn't expect Hope to actually teleport through the door. He probably should've but...oh well.

❝ I...uh...thanks, Ate..but I- ❞

  ah...scratch that. A slice of cheesecake doesn't count as dinner.

❝ ...what'd you bring...? ❞

[mundanemiseries]

@the-grim-heaper​ | cont.

“...hmmm...we really haven’t, have we?”

          Joel hummed softly, nuzzling his face into the other’s shirt. They really haven’t had much time like this together. Sho was running off to do stuff, he was still trying to get his footing back in Shibuya.

          The reaper wrapped his arms around Sho, quietly taking in the other’s company.

“...I’ve missed you, y’know?”

[mundanemiseries]

updated tag dump

[ General tags ]

[ the light will falter and we'll fade | self ] [ these city lights are drowning me out | ic ] [ love needs an encore | ship aes ] [ stars above that we can't see | ooc ] [ while we fell asleep | queue ] [ a chance in life is something that we all need | promo ] [ these songs of love and death | music ] [ calling out for | open starter ] [ carry the weight of who we hoped to be | about ] [ underneath a light that's truer now than it was then | aesthetic ] [ created precious memories | saved ] [ and when the ice breaks | self promo ] [ this laundry list of things | dash games ] [ do you think we could find our way home? | asks ] [ this winter hasn't been so rough | musings ] [ we swore we'd take it to the grave | drabble ] [ words stuck in my throat | dash comm ] [ where should i start | memes ] [ for a moment that summer | catalus cantus / noise form ]

[ Verse Tags ]

v | followin' familiar patterns | main v | stare at the sky and drown | early reaper v | unwind these tangled thoughts | post neo v | we'd rather crash on our best friends' couches | pokemon v | let the rust set in our bones | pre death v | i wish i could burn out the sky | composer

[ Character Tags ]

|| a piece of my heart belongs to you | Sho / the grim heaper || || trying not to let you get in my head | Hazuki / pureposer || || take these eyes and show them life untamed | Sanae / strawberry barista || || these mechanical wings cannot be broken | Hope / hopeful hugz

[ other ]

[ do you wanna waste your life with me? | Sho / Joel ]

[mundanemiseries]

     scrape

          scrape

               scrape

         The soft notes of a piano drifted from his phone speakers, accompanying the sound of Joel carving yet another mark into the alley wall.

         That was always how things went, game week comes, players get erased, and by mid week, he winds up here again, adding to the carvings on the wall.

                 Another player erased, another mark carved into the walls.

         And so he sat, cutting the final mark into the alley wall, slumping against the wall to look at the surrounding walls.

         A monument to his guilt and regret, a physical representation of every player he’s erased over the past decade, he never really got what compelled him to begin this in the first place but, it brought him some peace, so he guess he couldn’t complain.

         He sat against the alley wall, stewing in his thoughts, he could hear someone approaching the alleyway’s entrance but it was fine. He doubted anyone would find him in here anyway.

[mundanemiseries]

@rufxmord​ | x

“Oh uh...sorry ‘bout that”

          Thank fuck, she didn’t see him crying half an hour ago.

“...y’know, end of a game week...isn’t really the best time to see me if you want ‘interesting’”