#vanderwoodxoc

[fandomssmoothie]

Crystals and Stars: Vandybella

Although Vandybella only has a few fics here, we (rossyele and reifromrfa) feel like we’ve been writing about these two forever! Their story has been with us for more than a year now, and we are excited to share more stories with you guys --not just fanfics but also original stories about life, friendship and love.

Rei: Rossy is the Izabella to my Vanderwood and it’s so much fun to collaborate with her. The two of us are dancing to the same tune and I feel that when we write together, we’re able to tell awesome stories and I hope we get to share them with everyone soon!

We’ve been meaning to write this story for a while now and at last, here it is! The sweet Christmas that Vandybella deserves after all the things they’ve been through together! Thank you for all your support guys <3 

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

Crystals and Stars: A Vandybella Christmas fic

Vanderwood tosses another log into the fire before he resumes his pacing. Soft, holiday music plays in the background and the smell of freshly baked cookies wafts in the air.

So far so good.

So why the fuck does he feel so fucking nervous?

He rubs the back of his neck with his hand and sighs. To be honest, this is the first time he’s spending Christmas outside of a bar, without a beer in his hand. Or in some god-forsaken place, trying not to get killed.

This is the first Christmas he’s spending with someone he loves...his fiancé, Izabella. And he doesn’t know what to do to make this day special for her.

In the kitchen, Izabella munches on a piece of cookie. She smiles satisfied, very well aware Vanderwood is not fond of sweets -- she confectioned a recipe hoping it will please his taste.

Izabella places a cookie on a napkin and goes to the living room. Here comes the real test… Although knowing him he’ll say he loves it.

She stops her tracks by the door, Vanderwood is facing the fireplace. How can a man be so handsome wearing a sweater like that one? Not going to lie, the holidays always make her heart feel heavy… it’s the season to be spent with loved ones but… no more sadness, none of that, life has been kind enough to bring this man into her life.

Quietly she sneaks behind him but her attempt fails thanks to Vanderwood’s trained ears. He turns just as Izabella throws her arms around him. A smile appears on his face, his worries momentarily disappearing as his girl’s face turns red.

“Baby, what are you doing?” Vanderwood asks, pulling her closer to him.

Izabella frowns. “Whatever I was trying to do you make it difficult to accomplish.”

Vanderwood laughs. “Wasn’t this what you were tryin’ to do?” He grabs her chin gently and lifts her gaze to his. “I’d say mission accomplished, soldier.”

Grinning at his compliment she tiptoes and pecks his lips. “I try my best but I can’t beat you, I surrender.”

His smile turns into a smirk. “Oh? You surrender?” His hands trail down from her lower back and in a flash, he bends his knees and grabs the back of her thighs, lifting her legs around him.

“Baby!!” She laughs when he lifts her up. Remembering her initial ‘mission’ Izabella brings the cookie close to his face, “you have to taste this ahhhhh,” she opens her mouth instructing him to part his lips.

Vanderwood eyes the cookie before he moves past it and takes her lips in his, taking advantage of her open mouth to twirl his tongue with hers. Izabella’s eyelids close and her free hand goes to the back of his neck enjoying the sweet muscle sliding inside her mouth.

When he pulls away, he’s grinning. “Had to taste something sweeter than the cookie first.” Then, he finally takes a bite of the cookie, allowing the taste to sink into his palate. Surprisingly, it isn’t too sweet --hell, it tastes a little like coffee, his baby’s coffee. “Baby, what’s in this? It’s delicious.” 

Izabella mocks a glare. “Really? You like it? Well, it’s a secret, a family secret… our secret.” She brings his face close to hers and touches his nose with hers. Closing her eyes Izabella lets her reality sink in -- Vanderwood is hers, he is her family and she is his.

Vanderwood keeps his eyes open as he swallows, rubbing his nose against hers. “I love it and I love you, Izabella Mun. Ha...our secret. I like that.” He walks to the couch and takes a seat, adjusting their positions so Izabella is sitting on his lap.

“I love you, so much.” She smiles and bites on the cookie, she chews and gives him more until it’s gone. Her arms rest on his shoulders, “thank you for bringing me here, it’s beautiful.” Izabella looks around the cabin noticing the new hung decorations, “and you did a great job setting the mood.”

Vanderwood feels his face getting warm and he looks away, averting his gaze. “Yeah? Ha...I’m glad you like ‘em, baby. The lady at the store said those are popular for Christmas…”

What the fuck? Get a grip, you idiot!

The nerves creep in once more, but a part of him is relieved he got the right decorations at the store. It was either the snowflakes or reindeers with Santa at the end...and to be honest, that fucking fat man in the red suit with the “jolly grin” made him narrow his eyes suspiciously the more he stared at it. So instead, snowflakes are hung all around the living room, each one glittering whenever they catch the light.

The snowflakes mimic the stars and the dedication he put into it makes her chest feel warm. And to be honest, witnessing his awkwardly cute statements makes her fall harder for him. “You always manage to make everything perfect… what’s your superpower?”

Vanderwood chuckles. “Superpower? I don’t have any, baby. I just love you, that’s all.” He brushes her cheek with his fingers. “I want to make this Christmas perfect for you.”

She leans into his touch and places her hand on top of his. “Everything is so pretty and I love it, I really do but…”

“But?” His heart grips. Uh oh. Did he forget something?

“It’s you, I only need you. If you’re with me everything is perfect.”

His heart feels fuller than it’s ever been and Vanderwood pulls her face closer to him, so he could brush his lips on hers. “You make everything perfect, baby. And you know it’s you, it’s only you that I need.” 

It’s true. Before he met her, he didn’t even dare to dream of seeing the next day, let alone another week, another month...a lifetime. But with the agency out of his life and Izabella filling his days with love and laughter, he can’t help but dream to be happy. 

“Thank you, baby...thank you for coming into my life.”

Izabella shakes her head lightly. “You don’t have to thank me for that. We found each other…” She stares into those beautiful brown eyes. “Our paths crossed and I’m so grateful we saw each other, even if we weren’t looking or knew we were lost, we were found.”

Vanderwood chuckles. “I’m so fucking happy you were catering that night. I’m glad I made the decision to make out with the hot baker in the kitchens.” Vanderwood leaves another kiss on her lips. “Best decision I made in my life.”

She laughs, throwing her head back. “I’m glad too… even more grateful you’re a good kisser.” Her arms go around his neck and she rests her head on the crook of his neck.

His body relaxes as she curls closer to him. What the hell was he so nervous about? As long as they’re together, everything would be fucking perfect...just like this moment. Sitting in front of the fireplace with the most gorgeous girl in his arms. Her soft breath on his neck, her hair tickling him. Vanderwood holds the love of his life and kisses the top of her head, wondering when the perfect moment would be to give her the carefully wrapped gift tucked away in his bag.

As soon as his thoughts drift to that, the nerves settle into his body once more.

Izabella closes her eyes, relaxing completely, her fingers brushing his back. It’s so easy to let all her walls down when it comes to this man, the man she loves. For the first time since her parents left she’s ready to let someone take care of her, she wants to be protected, guarded inside his strong arms.

His embrace is warm and she can feel his heartbeat, by now synchronized with hers. She never knew she could love the way she does. He’s taken away the fears and replaced them with joy, with dreams and hope.

A sweet scent tickles her nose and Izabella sits up. “The cake must be ready.” She stands up but before running to the kitchen she kisses his cheek. “Let me take it out and then we open gifts, okay?”

She carefully takes the steamy sponge cake from the oven and places it on the racks. Looking over her shoulder she makes sure he’s not followed her to the kitchen. Izabella shuffles the contents in her bag trying to find the small wooden box where she holds the gift she plans to give to her boyf… fiance, god, she will marry the love of her life. Her heart flutters and she smiles to herself.

Vanderwood watches her run into the kitchen and then he stands and starts pacing again.

Fuck.

Maybe he should have bought her something expensive or flashy...fuck. Vanderwood runs a hand through his face before he heads for the stairs leading to the second landing, where he left his bag. He enters the master bedroom and sees his bag on the floor next to hers.

Should I even…? It’s fucking ridiculous. 

Arguments as to why he should have bought something girls would like fly through his head as he reaches deep inside his bag, at the gift lying in the bottom of the heap of clothes. Taking it out, he holds the gift in his hands and stares at it for a minute longer. He scratches his head before muttering a curse and heading back downstairs.

When she makes it back to the living room he’s not there but she can hear the footsteps on the second floor. She places a tray with two cups of hot coffee and cookies next to the window. 

Vanderwood strides to the living room and sees his fiancé, staring out the windows at the falling snow. He can’t help but stand still, admiring her beauty, memorizing her features. He wishes he was a good photographer but damn, he isn’t. So he settles instead for committing this moment to his memory.

Izabella notices her love and turns to him, a big grin on her lips. “I missed you.” She extends her hand towards him. He places the hand with the gift behind his back before she could see it and takes her outstretched hand with his other.

“I missed you, gorgeous,” he replies. He eyes the steaming mugs of coffee and cookies and grins. “Baby, are we gonna eat first?”

“Nope.” She pinches his nose. “But I’ll go first, baby.” Reaching inside her pocket she takes out a small wooden box and hands it to him. Vanderwood carefully folds his gift for her and places it in his back pocket, still debating whether he should give it to her or not. Then, he takes the box from her hands.

“Baby, you know you didn’t have to,” he tells her, but he can’t stop the smile that’s forming on his face. Slowly, he lifts the lid of the box and when he sees what’s inside, he gasps unconsciously. He lifts the pendant hanging from a leather string, small crystal pieces are arranged inside a clear cube.

“It’s, well… Do you remember the display in the cafe, the broken cups?”

Vanderwood nods, his eyes finding hers.

“You know they belonged to my parents. I collected some pieces and had this made for you because, baby, I know they’d love you and I’m sure now they watch over you too. They know I love you and how much you love me. I want them to be with you too, even if they’re gone they’re my family. I want to be your family and I want you to be mine.” She looks at him expectantly.

Vanderwood feels his throat closing up and he turns his gaze to the beautiful necklace instead. Broken pieces of her parents’ cups...he can’t even begin to explain how much this means to him. His fingers brush against the pendant, wondering what kind of people her parents were, knowing they must have been good people --warm people, like their wonderful daughter.

A family...fuck. He hasn’t had that, ever. But here she is, the one he loves, asking him to be part of hers. The emotions inside him are making him feel too warm.

“Baby…” he says, studying each shattered piece in the necklace. “You’re already my family. But...Ha…” He clears his throat to keep his voice from cracking with emotion.  “Are you sure? This is for me?” Would her parents really approve of him? Vanderwood would like to think so. Because no one can love her as much as he does...hell, he didn’t even know he’s capable of a love like this one. But he does, he loves her...and Vanderwood hopes that despite his past, her parents would see his love and give them their blessing from the heavens.

“Of course I’m sure. I want you to know you’ll never be alone, not for as long as I live. There’s no other person I would share a piece of me with, this… them.” She steps closer and holds his hand noticing how it’s shaking. Vanderwood grasps her hands in his and lifts them to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of her hand.

“Bella, I don’t know what to say.” He has to clear his throat again, his heart feels like it’s overflowing and he pulls his girl into his arms, holding her tight.

“Thank you, baby, thank you,” he whispers into her ear.

She feels warm all over, happy from his reaction, relieved he liked it. “I love you, I will forever love you.”

“I love you, Izabella.” Vanderwood grins and excitedly puts the band around his neck. He likes how it feels against his skin, the pendant feels heavy but it’s not unpleasant; the weight of it reminds him that he’s part of a family, their family.

“It’s perfect.” She touches the pendant. “Perfect for you.” Izabella smiles satisfied.

He touches her face. “You’re perfect for me, baby.” He can’t stop smiling. Hell, he even forgot about the gift sitting in his back pocket. But when he steps closer to her, the gift shifts in his pocket and Vanderwood freezes.

Goddammit, I should have bought her that new coffee-maker instead.

Izabella notices him tensing up and raises an eyebrow. “Baby, are you okay?”

“Uh…” Vanderwood doesn’t know what to do. That’s the only gift he brought for her, but now it seems fucking ridiculous. But it’d be worse...to not give her a gift for Christmas. Isn’t that what couples do in the dramas? ;;;

“Baby…”

Hesitantly, he reaches for the gift and hands it to her, keeping his eyes averted. “I...uh, I got you somethin’ too, baby.”

She gasps at the sight of the gift and can’t stop the giggle escaping her lips. “You’re adorable.” Izabella unwraps the gift and gasps once more. “These are so cute!” The pink mittens with strawberry pattern are the perfect size. She sticks her hands in them but when she does she feels something inside the left mitten. She pulls out a tiny box from it and stares at him.

Vanderwood’s heart drums hard against his chest. “I found those mittens and thought...they’d be perfect for when you bake.” Vanderwood lets out a nervous chuckle as he eyes the box. “But that...If you don’t like it, baby, you don’t have to wear it.”

“I stand corrected, you’re so adorable.” Izabella opens the box and smiles at the silver star inside. “Baby, this is so pretty, why wouldn’t I want to wear it? You were thinking of me… I love it.”

Vanderwood shuffles his feet, his cheeks warm. “Because...ha...fuck.” He rubs the back of his neck again. Somehow he feels the need to keep moving...Jesus, this is new to him, being this fucking awkward and nervous. “Because that’s...I didn’t buy that from a store, baby.”

“Did you steal it?” Izabella teases him, she takes the necklace from the box and lifts it up, the pendant catching the light.

Vanderwood laughs. “Steal it...yeah...ha...I wish I stole it, baby. But no...that...that’s…”

Why is this so goddamn hard? 

Taking a deep breath, Vanderwood finally reveals what’s been on his mind all evening. “That pendant didn’t use to be a star...it used to be a bullet. One that got me during a mission.”

Her gaze moves from the pendant to him, her heart drumming in her chest. “This hurt you..?”

Vanderwood looks at her and nods. “Yeah...it did. But it didn’t kill me, baby. I thought it would, but it didn’t. And when they pulled the bullet from my chest, they said I should keep it. Proof that I’m a tough bastard.” He laughs at the memory then scratches his cheek. “But I don’t wanna be reminded of those days anymore...I wanna look forward to my future with you. I had that made into a star because...baby, you’re my star, my lighthouse. The one who brings me home and who shines bright even in the darkest of times. You’re the one I wanna live for...the one I wanna share a life with. What was supposed to kill me is now a reminder of my reason to continue living. And well...it’s a necklace coz I wanted it with you, baby. That a part of me, that bullet, is always with you. And that our love will always be stronger than even life or death.”

Izabella doesn’t notice the tears rolling down her cheeks, all her attention is focused on him. He’s truly amazing and she hopes she will be able to show him just how wonderful and strong he is. She holds the pendant close to her chest while her other hand pulls him closer to her. “I will take you up on that… stay with me. Always. Because I love you. Because I’ll stay with you, I give you all that I am, today and the future. Our future, baby. Let’s live it together, let’s live for each other and because of each other. I love you.”

Relief fills his body and he wipes her tears with his hand. “Of course, Izabella. I ain’t going anywhere. I love you and I’ll stay with you forever, as long as you want me to. I want to live every day with you, just like you said.” He smiles at her. “Didn’t know that’s what I would want...but ever since we met, my heart’s been telling me it’s you. It’s you, the one I’m meant to be with.” Then he furrows his brows. “But really..? You like it? Even...knowing it was a bullet?”

“Forever… I want to stay with you way longer than forever, baby.” She hands him the necklace and turns around lifting her hair. When he’s done helping her put the necklace she faces him. “I love it, this is proof that you fought to stay alive, that you won… we met and now we will spend forever together. Thank you for choosing me, I must have done something right in my past life to deserve you now.” She smiles at him.

“Oh, baby, maybe it’s the both us who did something right. Maybe this is our reward.” A grin breaks across his face and Vanderwood presses her body against his before kissing her passionately. He couldn’t be happier. Every fucking Christmas used to be just a normal day for him but now, he has someone to celebrate holidays with. And he plans to celebrate every holiday with her --Christmas, New Year’s, Valentine’s, hell, even St. Patrick’s Day. He’s not one to throw a goddamn party for every little thing but…

He lifts Izabella in his arms again and moves to the stairs.

Now I have someone I want to celebrate life with.

He pulls back, still grinning, a little out of breath before he says, “By the way, Bella...Merry Christmas. I love you, baby.”

~

Thank you for reading :)

Art by @lovethedanielhd​

We hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and Happy Holidays!! 

[fanfictionconnectionwordpress]

Mystic Messenger Fanfiction | VanderwoodxOC Cerise | Doctor Roleplay | Commission

***Here comes a commission from @chaoticstarblossoms for more Cherrywood goodness. They appear to have discovered roleplaying. Since tumblr has changed its terms on NSFW content, I’ll just be linking you towards my website.

https://fanfictionconnection.wordpress.com/2018/12/06/mystic-messenger-fanfiction-vanderwoodxoc-cerise-doctor-roleplay-commission/

Apologies, by the way, for how long it's been since I've posted. As my attempt to make it up to all my readers, I'll be posting a bunch of my commissions up for reading over the next week or so. There's also still the 31 Days of Angst project I wrote available - with 50 pages of angst just for $5. The link is at the end of this post. ~Let's Connect! FFC***

Like this? Want more? Find information about commissions or Become a Patron ~Let’s Connect! FFC

You can purchase my completed 31 Days of Angst project here~ Around 50 pages of angst with all sorts of original characters included.

[fandomssmoothie]

"Lolol what's this? Bella, why did you ask for this? Haha but you look good, baby 😏 Thank you, lady...uh, @niue7777 This is fucking awesome. I need to figure out how to change it to my wallpaper ;;; Bella, can you help? ;;;;" --VANDERWOOD ( @reifromrfa )

“Hahaha, of course I will help you... it’s alredy mine. Baby you are looking better than good, you are so handsome❤!! I’ve been staring at this for too long but not enough time😍. Thank you, @niue7777 you are amazing!!😘 -- IZABELLA ( @rossyele )

[fanfictionconnectionwordpress]

Mystic Messenger Fanfiction | VanderwoodxOC Cerise - Tagged | Ch. 25 Happiest Birthday

***Things have been so soft and quiet - Vanderwood struggling with his recovery but feeling like he's got it under control. The lack of communication over this issue is about to bite both him and Cerise in the ass in this angst-fest chapter. I hope you don't cry too hard. ~Let's Connect! FFC***

*Remember, this is a sequel to Vanderwood Backstory, and Cerise has a bio. You can support my writing on patreon and get access to my VIP Discord Server or other goodies like early chapter releases and hidden scenes.  Tagged Chapter Directory*

Vanderwood hadn't been looking forward to his birthday. When he'd first told Cerise about it, she'd obviously been far more into it than he was. So, okay, maybe he was a little excited - just because he'd get to spend it with her, but when they went to bed that night he’d had a sneaking suspicion she had more plans than he wasn't ready for. This time of year wasn't a good time for him at all. If he could sleep the next week away, that would be heaven. That probably wasn't going to happen, but hopefully Cerise would make it a little easier, or at least dull the pain of Christmas somewhat.

Cerise had been counting down the days. She absolutely loved holidays, and you better believe she considered her fiancé’s birthday a holiday. So far, she had put up a few decorations that Marion really hadn't reacted to, but she didn't want to overdo it that year with it being the first time they would spend his birthday together.

The night before, Cerise had set her alarm to vibrate once it hit 11:58 pm - hiding a confetti cannon under her side of the bed for when it hit midnight, AKA his birthday. She was actually really surprised he hadn't noticed that she had gotten it. Then again, she made sure to be super sneaky about it. Marion would see that she totally did not forget his special day. Cerise had also set for a cake to be delivered later that day - since she couldn't really go out and get it, seeing as he would know what she was up to. Thank goodness for internet shopping.

When Cerise finally woke up, it was actually a few minutes before her alarm would go off. Perfect! Now she didn't have to risk the vibration waking him up prematurely. Honey-colored eyes glanced towards his face. Good, he was still asleep. If she moved too much, she would most likely wake him. She had to time this perfectly. When the clock hit 11:58, it was the moment of truth. As softly as she could, she removed the oversized confetti cannon from under the bed. 11:59 now. "Hey, Mariooo~ooon~" Her voice was a sing-song whisper as she was poking at his face. Marion grumbled, something along the lines of, “What is it, mon amour?” That was awake enough for her.

Now it was 12:00am, officially December 23rd - officially his birthday. Cerise took that chance to unceremoniously pounce on him, pulling the string trigger to her cannon - which launched small paper bits and glitter everywhere. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!" She squealed - looking really excited and proud of herself. On top of everything, her phone began to play some strange reggae version of the birthday song. All Cerise knew was that it was in English, and it sounded catchy. Truly a celebration song.

Oh, bloody fucking Hell! There was a rather loud popping sound, his fiancée pouncing on him, and it took him about ten seconds of gripping her to him protectively on instinct before he realized what the Hell was going on. It was lucky he had realized it was her pouncing on him and not an attacker, because he could have killed her. His eyes searched the room and saw the now empty canon - its contents everywhere. There was confetti and glitter, otherwise known as Satan's bloody tears, everywhere.

"Cerise.." His eyebrow started up, dancing along to the birthday song as he let go of her slowly - his voice tight with anger. "Do not jump on me when I'm half asleep. I could have hurt you." Was he being a little harsh when she was just trying to be nice to him? Yeah...probably, but he was a former secret agent and could have accidentally harmed her for much less. He was being grumpy, but she wasn't having it. "But you didn't." Yeah okay, so pouncing on a former secret again, probably not the best idea in retrospect. Still, birthday.

Bloody Hell. What time was it? His eyes found the digital clock, and that just made him all the more irritated. Great. No sleep for him. "Happy birthday to me...I'm older...yay..." Okay, so maybe there was a little bit of happiness there. His fiancée' had given him far more of a birthday greeting than he could ever remember having received before, and he was actually enjoying life lately.

Cerise could hear the dripping sarcasm in his voice after he had glanced at the clock. "Yes, yay! The most yay, because I'm sure glad you were born." Why did she have to be so cute? She was glad he was born? Vanderwood snorted softly, but that little moment was short-lived. Though his eyebrow only slowed a little - his body relaxing only minutely, his voice at least sounded even. "Thank you, shortcake...Please go back to sleep."

He needed to clean up; he needed to clean up. Not because it was compulsory and otherwise there would be glitter in places no one needed glitter. She just giggled and nuzzled him. "You sleep, too. We can clean up later~ Besides, haven't you always dreamed about laying in a bed of sparkles?" Cerise loved glitter. She loved anything shiny and cute, really. There was confetti and glitter all over her - even embedded in her hair. Flecks of glitter could be seen on her skin and clothes. Marion fared no better. They both looked like a magical rainbow fairy had puked its glorious sparkles all over them. "A little glitter never hurt anyone, Marion." Cerise shook her hair a little, sending more glitter flying about.

She wanted him to sleep in this? No fucking way. If he found even a single spot of glitter near his nether regions, he was going to put his fist through something. He wasn’t about to let this mess sit until morning - no matter how excited or adorable she was. "I would rather sleep on a bed of nails. I can't sleep now that I'm up anyway. You know that." He did his best to disentangle himself from her, nearly an attempt to run away as she was shaking out her hair.

When he pushed his bangs back as he was sitting on the edge of the bed, glitter fell into the lap of his pajama pants. His eyebrow was trying to escape his forehead now - practically flying away. "I need a shower, and then I'm cleaning." So, great, he was 29. That was older than he'd thought he would make it to. It was certainly older than he'd wanted to make it to, but it also meant Christmas - which meant memories, which meant pain. All of that just made the glitter and confetti that was covering him more irritating.

Was he even breathing anymore? His chest felt tight. He headed off towards the bathroom as Cerise huffed - rolling back onto her side of the bed. “Don’t be such a grumpy face, Marion.” The glance he got of himself in the mirror made his eyebrow twitch even more. There was a part of his hair that was practically pink thanks to all those damn sparkles. This was it. He was going to die today. Just spontaneously combust.

She watched him as he escaped to the bathroom. Maybe after a shower, he would get tired again. Well...at least he'd remember this birthday, right? Sure, he looked a little irritated, but it was probably just because she woke him up so early. Once he was out of sight, Cerise began to smack random places on their bad, watching as the glitter flew up and fell back down. There was so much, and she couldn't help but giggle.

He couldn’t be angry with her when she’d put in this much effort. All she wanted to do was make sure he didn't have another painful birthday alone. At least they had the entire rest of the day. Marion would probably tire himself out sooner or later if the shower didn't relax him. Letting out a yawn, Cerise curled up in the middle of the bed and fell back asleep - cuddling on the pillow that she had given him earlier in the month. Hopefully, he liked what she had in store for the rest of the day.

***

The shower had only helped in relaxing him so much. At least his hair wasn't pink anymore, but his pajama pants...Yeah, it would take way too many washes to get the sparkles out of that, so at this point he was pretty Hell-bent on throwing those away. Vanderwood dried off and peeked out into the room. Good - she was asleep. He padded out and grabbed a different pair, getting those on quick and quiet before he realized. Not good - she was asleep. How was he going to clean this up with her asleep? He couldn't use the vacuum.

Vanderwood wanted to smack his head into the wall a few times, but instead he got the broom and dust pan - getting everything that he could. Fun fact, he was going to need a new broom and dust pan. He snorted before looking at the bed. So many sparkles. Now he just felt sick and exhausted on a different level. Vanderwood bit his tongue as he watched Cerise sleep. All the pillows were covered in sparkles, too. He knew for a fact without the sound of her breathing to comfort him it was going to take him a lot longer to sleep, but without her scent on a pillow, yeah. There would be no sleep until he passed out from exhaustion.

He sighed and left the room, stretching out on the couch and staring up at the ceiling. Vanderwood reached for his phone on the coffee table - habit making him think it was the nightstand. Actually. It was probably better he didn't have it on him, not today. Not that he thought he was going to call anyone. The thought made him want to hurl...cheat on Cerise? No way...but it was such an old habit at this point, especially during this season, that it was just better this way. He couldn’t remember falling asleep - just the constant rolling over and changing positions.

***

Cerise woke up on her own much later. Marion hadn't woken her up? She looked around to see that he wasn't in bed with her and frowned. Where was he? And Jesus, was she cold. Cerise threw her feet over the bed, grabbed some cute clothes, and padded into the bathroom. He was probably off doing something in the house. Right now what she needed was a warm shower to chase the chill away. As she got ready to hop in, she noticed glitter falling everywhere. Oh, right. The confetti cannon. The memory of earlier that morning made her laugh. Obviously, she’d have to make sure to wash her hair extra well that morning...which would take forever.

She was all clean and glitter free within an hour and a half. Her eyes scanned the area as she stepped into the living room, and she still didn't see her fiancé. "Where did you go?" It wasn't until she got closer to the couch that she saw him sleeping there. Honestly, it made her a little sad. Why hadn't he slept in the bed with her? And holy crap...was she actually awake before him? Cerise made her way over to him, kneeling beside the couch. Marion was such a beautiful man, especially when he slept. Usually, she was asleep before him, and he was awake before her. She didn't get much time to ever admire his sleeping form. "Hey, Marion." Her voice was a soft whisper as she nuzzled him. "Wake up, birthday boy~"

He startled awake at the nuzzle, but at least it wasn't like this morning. Bloody Hell, he was tired. So, he had slept and not just rolled over all night. That was good, although he couldn't be sure how much sleep he’d ended up getting. "Hey, Cerise...I'm awake." Her hair was wet. That meant she'd had a shower - which meant he could clean the bedroom. Vanderwood pushed himself up on the couch, and with as tired as he was - it seemed to take effort. That's when he just felt...old.

How had he even made it past 25? He had been sure he would die at 25, or right around there. But no, when he'd turned 25 he'd just spent virtually an entire month seeing Crystal every day instead of being dead. Might as well have been being dead. Vanderwood sighed and looked at his fiancée. At least she was having fun with today - even if it meant cleaning up after her. She was the one beautiful thing in his life, and he really was grateful that she cared, deep down.

It was just that it was difficult. He wanted to have a good day; he really did...so he sure as Hell wasn't about to ruin whatever she had planned and dump his feelings on her. That would probably just make her cry anyway. He reached for his phone out of habit again, but it wasn't there, of course. "What time is it?" His stomach felt like it was crumbling in on itself, because he was so damn hungry.

"It's eleven thirty. You really slept in today~" He deserved to sleep in every now and again, and what more perfect day to do so than his birthday? Cerise gave him a look when she audibly heard his stomach growl. "Hungry?" She stood up with a smile on her face. "It's your birthday, so I can make us something! I'll be back in a jiffy!" Before he had a chance to protest, she was gone. Cerise knew that she didn't stand a snowball's chance in Hell actually cooking, so she had preemptively bought an assortment of pre-cut fruits. Instant oatmeal was pretty easy, too. All she had to do was add hot water.

Okay...so she was cooking. Vanderwood looked out into the kitchen after her, and from what he was seeing, she wasn't trying to make anything overly ambitious. Maybe he could relax a little. If only he could. He grumbled and pushed out of the couch, going into the bedroom. After quickly taking care of that glitter problem that was the bed, he returned to the couch - feeling at least a little better with the sheets and pillows in the wash. He would still need to vacuum, but with as hungry as he was - eating came first.

She grinned widely as things came together perfectly. Cerise arranged the fruit on a plate around the bowl of instant oatmeal - which she added cinnamon to, like any sane person would do. Now, for the finishing touch. She took out a pack of sparklers and put the ends of them into the oatmeal bowl. That should be exciting and memorable, right? The package had said not to light them indoors, but Cerise took that as more of a suggestion than anything as she took a match and lit the sparklers up before making her way with the food to where her husband-to-be was. "Surprise!" Who didn't like fireworks?

He was rubbing his face when she came back into the room, and he pulled his hands away. "Cerise!” His eyebrow was twitching again, and he grabbed the sparklers. Cerise frowned as he blew out the sparklers so fast without admiring them.  "Are you trying to light the house on fire again?" He did have a point. It could have sparked a fire if she wasn't careful, but luckily, she was - or so she thought.

Now that the danger was gone, chestnut-brown eyes fell on what she'd brought him. Just as Cerise was about to open her mouth to argue, he cut her off. "Oh...shortcake...that's just great..." Had his heart melted in a second? "Thank you..." There was still a lot of irritation, but she was really trying. His praise caused a blush to build on Cerise’s face. "You're welcome! I'm not a good cook by any means and couldn't do anything amazing, but...I hope you enjoy it all the same!"

As he started on the food, Cerise ran back to the kitchen to grab something for herself, too - returning to sit down next to him on the couch. She munched on her portion happily, starting a ‘birthday playlist’ that she had made. It was the perfect mix of songs that would hopefully last all day! Most of them were very festive, so it was nice to eat breakfast with such a cheery atmosphere. "Hope you're enjoying your day so far~" The day hadn't really even begun; she was just too excited.

"Um...as much as I can, so far." Maybe that had been meant to be a rhetorical comment. Vanderwood wasn't sure. It was like his tension and exhaustion were making him even more awkward than usual. He ate in silence, the music far livelier than he was. It was nice though, having someone who cared again. With Caleb they'd just sat in the living room and watched TV. They never tried to do birthdays or Christmas. Caleb had grown up without it anyway, and Vanderwood…the memory of sitting there waiting for his mother to come home, then the tree, his father and his friends.

His face became a dark mask as he grabbed the dirty dishes that Cerise seemed done with and heading out of the room. "I'll just wash up, then I'll vacuum." He was being so curt. It wasn't fair to her; it really wasn't. Vanderwood grabbed a hair tie and put his hair up - running his fingers over his serial number per the usual before he turned the sink faucet on.

Cerise stayed silent as she watched him. He had warned her that he might not be in the best of moods - which he certainly wasn’t`, but that only meant that she needed to try harder, right? She was going to make this memorable and fun for him no matter what. It looked like it was going to be a little harder than she’d even thought. As he worked on washing their dishes, Cerise quickly darted back to her room and pulled out a massive amount of decorations from under the bed. She'd have to be quick to decorate while he vacuumed if she wanted to surprise him.

After grabbing all the stuff and stashing it in the guest bedroom, she waited until he began making his way to the room to vacuum. Perfect. With an overabundance of energy, she put the mess of decorations up: streamers, balloons, colorful tableware. Now all that was left was the cake. Cerise checked her phone. It was set to be delivered any time now. She went to peek out the window, and sure enough - there it was. As quietly as she could, she opened the door and brought it in - thanking the delivery driver. The sound of the vacuum would probably drown out anything she had been doing, thankfully.

She set the cake down on the table and opened the box. It was a relatively small cake, because she knew that he wasn't a fan of sugary things - especially in large quantities. Cerise had given the baker specific instructions to make the cake as healthy as she could without sacrificing the festivity of it all, and she had to say...it looked pretty darn good. All she had left was the presents she had gotten for him - deciding to buy him things he could use instead of something that would just sit out forever and a day.

Mostly, she’d bought him clothes she thought he would like, coordinating the outfits carefully. It was hard to find his size, but she had somehow managed - while avoiding anything that he might think was too restricting. After everything was set up and the apartment looked all sorts of bright and colorful, she snapped a picture with her phone before sitting down on the couch to wait for him to emerge from his vacuuming. Boy would he be surprised! And there wasn't even fire or glitter involved!

***

The vacuum hurt his ears. He should have had his ears looked at a long time ago, but going to a doctor wasn't something he was particularly interested in. Vanderwood finished up and looked around the room. He wasn't sure how he'd managed it, but it was clean. No glitter. Praise whatever God fucking existed. Vanderwood would have crawled around with strips of tape if he had to, but that had thankfully been unnecessary. He turned off the vacuum and went to put it away, getting a good full view of vibrancy as he stepped out of the bedroom.

“What the fuck…when? Oh.” Vanderwood stared at the colorful mess. This was too much for him right then, but that wasn't just something he could say out loud. So, what should he say? At least nothing was going to light on fire, and there wasn't any glitter, but he was still going to have to be the one to clean up, wasn't he? He preemptively put a hand to his eyebrow. It was too vibrant and lively for his taste, but...Cerise had clearly tried so hard. It wasn’t like he could just be a douche over it. "This is...Wow, Cerise." Okay, that wasn't too horrible, because it really was wow.

He approached her on the couch and caught sight of the cake, glancing over that to see gifts. She'd really gone all out. Vanderwood felt a little choke in his throat. No one ever gave a shit like this. Least of all his parents. Yeah, that was making him both happy and making his chest sting with pain - his muscles tensing up. You weren't supposed to finally find someone who cared at 29...or apparently just he was.

She had been excited as he first got a glimpse, but now she was scrunching her nose at his…praise? Marion had seemed to be getting choked up for just a second, but now things seemed just as quickly to be getting bad again. Cerise looked concerned. This was somehow having the opposite effect on him, and she wasn't sure why. Was she not doing enough? Did she need to try harder? She bit her lip. Think, think...Cerise still had a little trouble reading him completely when he was like this.

Maybe talking about Christmas festivities would cheer him up? Their first Christmas together...all snuggled up together on Christmas eve, drinking warm drinks. That sounded like a dream to her. "Hey Marion...erm..." Cerise put a smile on her face. She needed to stay positive for him, show him a smile. "Cheer up!" As she patted him enthusiastically, she widened her smile. "Christmas is just around the corner, you know? It can only get better from here. Ooh! " She started to bounce around on her feet all excitedly, taking his hand into hers. "I can totally get out the Christmas decorations tonight aaaaand...tomorrow we can put up the tree together! I have all sorts of cute ornaments just waiting to be used~"

Cerise realized she was babbling and laughed nervously before she looked up to him, and...he didn't look too enthused. In fact, he wasn't reacting at all? "Hey..." There was a hint of concern in her voice. Was he closing himself off? That's probably something he normally did around his birthday, or so she thought. She could only imagine how lonely he had been. "Marion...I'm here now, you know? You're not alone anymore...You don't have to shut down," Cerise gave him a small smile and patted his arm again, trying to comfort him. "Talk to me...how can I make this better?"

Vanderwood loved her - he really did, but she was digging him into a pit of pain. It wasn't her fault. She didn't know any better. In fact, she was just trying to help. He didn't feel angry; he didn't feel sad, but that was only because he was shutting himself off from the thoughts that swirled around in his head. It was all too much. Vanderwood already felt like he was so tense - as though someone were trying to break a pencil with their bare hands. He realized she was saying his name, patting his arm, but nothing she was saying was reaching his ears.

All he could hear was the sound of his heart going way too fast. The next thing he knew, she was under him - pinned down onto the couch with her hands above her head. Vanderwood blinked, taking it in before he let go, the rush of guilt like a dam breaking for the second time in his life. He hadn't realized how close he was to breaking, how much he needed his body to relax, how much he wanted... "Get away from me." His voice was brusque and dark, and he looked towards the ground as he scrambled away from her to the other side of the couch. He hadn't meant for it to sound so terrible, but he couldn't make the words come to say anything better. Vanderwood couldn't be around her right now. He'd pinned his fiancée to the bloody couch. His fists balled up, and he wanted to put them through something - clenching them so tightly that he was shaking.

It had all happened so fast. Marion had grabbed her wrists hard, causing her to yelp out in pain before he’d pushed her down beneath him. He was off of her again, but her eyes were still wide with fear as tears began to pool in the corners. Cerise was scared - terrified, and the person she loved the most was the cause of it. He was supposed to be getting better; she was helping him get better, so why was this happening? Why now? Had she not tried hard enough?

She began to rub her wrists. They hurt so bad. The cheery music playing in the background was a stark contrast to the current situation. There was an explanation...there had to be an explanation. She hadn't gotten the chance to say anything, ask him why before he was telling her to get away. The tears finally spilled over, rolling over her cheeks silently as she quickly ran to her room, slamming the door behind her. When she was in the safety of her room, she let herself cry into the first pillow she could grab. She had only wanted him to feel better, share his feelings with her. Cerise wanted to make happy memories with the man she loved to the moon and back. This wasn't supposed to happen.

How much time had passed? An hour? Two? She didn't know; she'd been too lost in thought. Eventually, she had come to the harsh conclusion that nothing she could do was going to heal him completely. She was nothing but a temporary reprieve from the downward spiral that was his life. Cerise loved him - loved him so much it hurt, but she couldn't help him. He'd come so far, but there was only so much she could do for him. Just loving him couldn’t make him better, and she wasn't about to sleep with him just to make him feel better. That would only contribute to the problem.

Cerise wasn't going to be that person for him. He didn't need her; he just needed his fix. That's how it would always be. Nothing she did, no matter how much effort she put in, no matter how much she cared - it wasn't going to fix him. She was nothing more than a silly little girl who cared too much for her own good. Cerise eyed her ring, the 'proof' that they were promising their lives to each other. The promise of a better, brighter future. Psh, yeah right. Someone was going to come along. They were going to be able to make him happy - do what needed to be done so he could heal. It just wasn't going to be her.

She slid the ring off her finger and left it on the bed, heading towards the window. Cerise didn't even bother to grab her phone; she honestly just didn't care. All she knew was that she needed to get away. She'd snuck out more times than she could count. This would be easy. He wanted her to go away? Fine. She would. Vanderwood wouldn't have to worry about her ever again.

If Vanderwood wanted to be alone and miserable so badly, she wasn’t about to stop him or get dragged down into it. She was going to live her life - whether he was a part of it or not. As soon as she was able, she would find the next flight back to France. Right now, she needed to breathe and get out - away from it all. Away from him. Cerise carefully slid the window open and slipped out into the cool winter air.

***

How long had he been sitting there since the door slammed? He was breathing too hard, a ragged sound. What had he done? Vanderwood bit his tongue and tasted blood, but at least now he could release his hands. His mind flitted to the image of her beneath him - the fear, the pain, the tears. He'd done that.

Vanderwood felt crushed. His heart felt like it had crumbled. Cerise. What he needed was to calm down. He needed to relax, and then he could…would...What? How could he even make up for what he'd just done? He'd have to tell her everything. Why? Bloody Hell - he’d thought he had been doing so well. Now he'd just snapped. He hadn't been paying attention - hadn't been watching his behavior. Well, apparently, he wasn't as well as he'd thought he was.

The sun was low in the sky by the time he got up off the couch, moving slowly, feeling like the lowest scum of the Earth. Really, that was all he'd ever been anyway, right? Vanderwood internally slapped himself. If he was going to get better, he was going to have to stop thinking like that. Right now, he needed to make sure he and Cerise got dinner - then make sure she was alright, and...hopefully, explain...If she would want to hear it.

He'd managed to tune out the music until now but turned it off as soon as he realized it was still going. The silence was more deafening than the sound had been. The only thing he could think while he was cooking was that she was probably scared of him now. It was either that, or she just wanted nothing to do with him. He kept trying to shove those thoughts away, but he could only do so much.

Once he'd made dinner, he went to her door, knocking softly. No answer. "Cerise...you need to eat." Not a sound. Now anxiety swept up on him, and he opened her door slowly - a cold breeze chilling him to the bone. An open window. There was an open window and no Cerise. "Mon amour...?" Why was he even asking for her like she was there? She clearly wasn't. Chestnut-brown eyes searched the room to find her phone and then her ring. The choked sound that escaped him was hardly human, and then he was scrambling, throwing on some clothes, his gloves, and grabbing his jacket - shoving her ring and phone into the pockets.

It was getting so dark. Any shops would be closing soon in anticipation of the day tomorrow. If he was going to find her, he needed to move quickly. Vanderwood decided to go out the window. Where would she have gone? He bit his tongue - feeling the sting from the barely healed bite earlier. Vanderwood decided to head towards the shop area. She loved people, and if she wanted to hide and get away from him - he had a feeling that she'd seek out some place warm and inviting. That was just who she was.

  Tagged Chapter Directory

Like this? Want more? Become a Patron ~Let’s Connect! FFC

[fanfictionconnectionwordpress]

Mystic Messenger | Vanderwood Playlist

***Today I will be sharing something with you that I spent months compiling and deliberating on. I scoured the world of Youtube to find songs that not only would be on my version of Vanderwood's playlist but also could be laid out into a cohesive story-line for his life. It follows along the plot line of my fanfiction Tagged - VanderwoodxOC Cerise part way through.

The way my Vanderwood listens to music is that he prefers to find things that he can relate to. He likes to pay attention to the lyrics, as it helps him with expressing emotions/remembering to feel and so on. So! I give you the thing I have kept private for so very long...my Vanderwood playlist! Note that all of the videos used are from a Youtube playlist that connects to the original author of the video. I do not own rights to either the videos or the songs. ~Let's Connect! FFC***

This playlist is essentially a progression of Vanderwood’s life from teenager-dom to adulthood when he meets Cerise and falls in love. A lot of the songs were songs he already listened to even before he met her, those will be marked, but the songs are placed in order of what time period in his life he identified with them.

As a note on the progression: we’re starting out with a very angry teenager followed by a grieving and struggling adult which is closely followed by him finding something to handle that pain which causes him to turn inwards even further and hate himself. There’s at least two songs representing his relationship with fellow agent Green after which you’ll see him starting to ask for a way out of the system he currently is living. These cries for help are followed by calls specifically to Cerise. As a yandere, you’ll also see some songs centered around his devotion to her and need to keep others away from her.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJkj3DgW8Y0?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

1. Vanderwood has an intense aversion to and hatred for liars. In this song, the liars are his parents. They’re supposed to love you, and it seemed like in the beginning of his life to him that they did, but they turned out to be wolves in sheep’s clothing to him. What he really wants to know is how they live with themselves. In some part it also represents his feelings about his parents’ relationship. As he gets older, this song is still one of his favorites, applying over and over again to the new ‘wolves’ that enter his life.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tl-3F3uEolk?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

2. This song is supposed to be a love song, but for Vanderwood it represents his mother. Whenever the song refers to leaving ‘us’ as in the relationship, Vanderwood hears ‘us’ as in his brother and him. The song also talks about saying goodbye to love, that’s read as maternal love, his love for her as his mother that he wants to say goodbye to. Unfortunately for him, he can’t seem to let that love go. He’s essentially lamenting that she chose drugs over her sons, and trying to separate himself from her and the love that he still has for her simply because she’s his mother.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhe84r6nsqc?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

3. Another of his teen anthems, if you want to think about any event in particular> when the school counselor suggested to him that he chill out on the art and not freak people out about his life. So, he puts across this idea that he’s fine, but the song points to how he feels like everyone is just watching him as he’s lost in the make believe of being fine and he’s just tired of that existence. Vanderwood is just adding layer after layer to his wall to keep others out.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kb7zhunYGik?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

4. This song represents his life pre-Caleb’s death, but post-Caleb’s attitude change. His brother is on drugs, Vanderwood doesn’t know what’s wrong with him, but he is trying to give his brother support in what he considers the only way and that’s being available to him. He’s begging him to ‘say something new, I have nothing left, I can’t face the dark without you’ because he feels Caleb is pulling away from him and he needs to figure it out before he’s lost him completely. So far, Caleb has been his only plan in life, and he’s given everything to get Caleb out of the life they had before, so the idea of being in ‘the dark’ without Caleb sounds like an impossibility.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhDLV-I01No?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

5. This song relates most to the stage of his life where he is numb unless he’s feeling anger or pain. Right after Caleb’s death, Vanderwood throws himself into street-fighting just to actually feel an emotion other than the emptiness and sadness he now feels all the time. It was clear to him already that he didn’t have a future after Caleb was an adult and had his life in order, but now that Caleb isn’t going to reach that level, his life is pretty useless. The thought of suicide may have crossed his mind, once, but he soldiers on with his pain like a punishment for what happened. Vanderwood is in the end, afraid to die and punishing himself.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hMagncIirA?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

6. Again, we come to a love song that Vanderwood interprets completely differently. What he gets out of this is that Caleb was the only one who ever meant anything real to him, the only one to ever care about him or give him real company. Vanderwood is so lonely at this stage of his life. He always tries to forget the pain with his addiction, but he can’t make the thoughts and memories go away. There’s also the ‘I can’t regret you’ portion of the song which for Vanderwood points more to that he can’t push Caleb out of his memory because then he’d lose the memories of the only person who ever truly stayed with him. That being said, he wants the pain to stop haunting him.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fG9c3kYE3rw?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

7. This is that same struggle. Vanderwood wants to know if he’ll be consumed by his addictions and pain. If you had to place this song in a certain point of his timeline, it would fit into just before he gets recruited to the agency. He’s drowning in a haze of sex, but he refuses to go under completely because he ‘will not let go.’ There’s really no reason for him to hold on, but he is just continuing on waiting for the end. He’s both too afraid and too set in his own personal punishment to let go.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMSkC2PGyTs?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

8. A lot of this one is pretty self-explanatory on how Vanderwood would relate, but I’m going to point out how it relates to him as an agent. Thinking about it from this perspective, the devil that he’s dancing with is the agency which can lie to him or leave him for dead at any point in time. It has ‘cold dead eyes’ because it’s unfeeling to everyone who works for it as its pawns. This pretty much becomes an anthem that he won’t let himself be tricked, even as he dances with the devil, while still respecting his belief that ‘I won’t stay long in this world so wrong.’

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXDC89tZ4IQ?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

9. We’re walking towards Green territory now. This song again points out how he can’t get out of the Hell of his own mind and pain, but now we have the added element of him referring to himself as an animal thanks to his addiction and working for the agency. He’s talking to himself a lot to tell himself that even though Green is saying she understands and has discovered his addiction ‘the dark inside of me’ that she can see, no one can change the animal he’s become, although he’s starting to really wish that someone could. So, he keeps crying out for someone to do it. Green just isn’t the one who has any interest in letting him escape the animal side of him. She’d much rather put him under her own ownership.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8RYzAzZKss?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

10. A Green specific song, although he still enjoys it afterwards. He found this song specifically to counter music that Green would play around the house talking about how they had this relationship or bond that was cemented by sex. Vanderwood is just a bit of a petty asshole. The song both points out how he feels about their relationship ‘good sex, no love’ but also makes a jab at her for not realizing how much pain he’s in and how much of his life he’s revealed to her and yet all she gives him is sleeping alone. Even though that’s what he wants, she doesn’t give him any reason to want her around otherwise.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9NStVkSCuk?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

11. This song applies most heavily to how he reacts to other people attempting to get close to him after Green. Even more so than he used to, he keeps the truth of his life to himself. The only people at this point that he reveals his addiction to are Seven and Crystal, but he still doesn’t reveal any personal information about his rage or much about the reasoning behind that anger and addiction. Later in his timeline, this song can apply to his yandere side both as how he feels when it ducks up and as a threat to those who try to get near Cerise.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhafeVC9uq0?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

12. Woo! He’s making changes in his life here! Vanderwood takes a couple meanings from this, in part the agency, his smoking, and finally his sex addiction. It starts out with him understanding it as a girl who wants nothing from him except that he’s a piece of meat and then broadens out to the bigger meanings. He wants to ‘burn the bitch down’ and separate himself from his former life.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iCtpuQvydk?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

13. Vanderwood is trying towards really wanting to break free from the pain and dependence on that pain and addiction to find an escape from his loneliness now that he’s met Cerise. He realizes that he needs to break away from all of that if he wants to be with her and feel love that he thought wasn’t real or possible for him.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dj_d8DlZ-Jo?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

14. Considering the life that Vanderwood has lived, it’s not hard to understand what this song means. After he meets Cerise and decides to change his life, he’s facing everything that he’s done and the person he was in order to let go of everything he’s done, including the things that he’s blamed himself for despite them not really being his fault. (i.e. Caleb’s death.) This is a crucial part of what helps him to move forward, and this song applies to that part of his life as well as just being one of his favorites.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFQYaoiIFh8?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

15. This song best illustrates how Vanderwood feels about humanity and himself in general even after he’s with Cerise. The world is in his eyes mostly an evil place, and he still acknowledges the dark parts of himself. He asks Cerise to look inside, and not to get too close. As if she’s going to listen to that.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uctPlt1AWDw?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

16. This song is another anthem for Cerise. He had this song in his music list already, but it applies for the timeline in his life after Cerise. It both plays on the fact that she moved him out of his former life by giving him the support he needed as well as his yandere said calling her ‘mine’ and saying he’ll ‘vanquish any foe.'

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWTi0s6b9E8?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

17. Let me tell you, you’ve pretty much gotten into the sappy stuff that he listens to because he’s so in love. And also, you know, has a Hella libido too, there’s those sexual elements in this too, but he takes it less as the ‘make you glad you came to this party’ and more of ‘make you glad you’re with me.’ If Cerise did a dance to this song for him he would literally melt like the flustered little romantic we all know he secretly is. The sun has gone down and the stars have come out making all that counts their relationship in the here and now.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEAPOz60P-I?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

18. So, this is kind of his yandere anthem. Pretty much the way he views this song is any guy trying to nose his way in between him and Cerise. As far as the wanting him to ‘stay away’ and ‘gonna get my baby tonight’ he’s pretty much viewing this song as they’re already together but the guy wants him to leave and stay away from Cerise or other such tricks. Just a good general thought here though, don’t fuck with Cerise or attempt to take her away from him.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqwOxLjEOTc?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

19. This is not a song he ever would have applied to anyone but Cerise. Normally, Vanderwood has little to no patience whatsoever when it comes to sex, but this song follows his sexual progression now that he’s not actively addicted to sex. It shows his praise and the way he loves what she’s learned since they started their relationship as well as asking her to ‘slow down’ and ‘relax’ so as to actually drag it out and enjoy the whole situation rather than just getting it over with and relaxing his muscles with a fix or even just getting a quick solve for his high libido. It’s very much a song that represents how much he enjoys his sex life now that he wants to drag it out and really enjoy it.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXqcxD1oTDw?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

20. There are two meanings he attaches this song to for his life. It’s both a yandere anthem as well as a body worship song. Cerise is his and he’ll show her and the rest of the world that she belongs with him. She is a wild spirit and he appreciates that she needs to go out into the world and live, but he’s absolutely ‘tying down’ her to him as her one and only. Not that she’s complaining.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4l7fhxNrrrM?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

21. Vanderwood’s anthem for their relationship. Even though it’s meant to be a Christian rock anthem, Vanderwood takes it as Cerise walking with him and showing him, he doesn’t have to be lonely and lost. Before Cerise he shoved everyone out, but she’s the one who found him ‘in the dark’ and taught him he doesn’t have to do everything by himself. This song is one of his absolute favorites simply because of the message it conveys for him.

Here is the full playlist~

Like this? Want more? Become a Patron.  ~Let’s Connect! FFC

[fanfictionconnectionwordpress]

Mystic Messenger Fanfiction | VanderwoodxOC Cerise - Tagged | Ch. 15 Return

***All of my NSFW scenes have had their passwords removed. =0 So, now you can get dat gud gud when you want it. Enjoy your weekly dose of Cherrywood!***

*Remember, this is a sequel to Vanderwood Backstory, and Cerise has a bio. You can support my writing on patreon and get access to my VIP Discord Server or other goodies like early chapter releases and hidden scenes.  Tagged Chapter Directory*

It felt strange to Cerise, being in his weird place with nobody around. He'd been gone less than an hour, and she was already beginning to feel antsy. They had retrieved the rest of her pillows from the trunk of the car, and she spent a lot of her time buried in them and texting her boyfriend. He was so formal when it came to texting, but it was also kind of cute, too. The texts stopped coming at some point, meaning they must have arrived at their destination, and that's when she started to feel alone and just weird without him. Just like he said, he was checking in with her in twelve-hour intervals. It wasn't a lot, but it was at least something.

In the time between, she busied herself with exploring the house and watching TV while updating her blogs. She'd even managed to not burn the kitchen down. Coffee was a no-go, since she couldn't figure out the coffee maker. Obviously, there was only one thing to do there. Cerise took a sad picture with it and posted it, taking an hour or so to watch another show before she felt there was no doubt there many people explaining the mysterious workings of the coffee maker to her. After some reading, she was able to figure it out. Sometimes being cute and popular online had its perks. Cerise posted a new picture with her freshly made cup of coffee and thanked her followers.

While digging through the cabinet, she found a bag of chips she'd never seen before. They looked like they would be a good snack, so she opened a bag and took a bite. Nope. Nuh uh. Cerise found herself promptly spitting it out and taking a gulp of her still hot coffee to eliminate the taste from her mouth. Who could stand to even eat those? So gross. Her mind slipped to Marion. He certainly wouldn’t have eaten those chips. Was he eating right out there on his mission? Cerise did her best not to worry and keep herself occupied, but she couldn’t stop thinking about him like that.

The second day was coming to a close, and there was no sign of either of them. Marion was supposed to have come back…just two days, that had been what he’d said, so anxiety kept building higher by the second. Cerise checked her phone to see if maybe she had missed a text...something. She didn't like it...worrying wasn't going to get her anywhere, so she buried herself in the blankets and pillows of his bed and fell asleep.

Cerise wasn't sure how long she was asleep before a notification woke her up. She rubbed her eyes and sat up as she sleepily unlocked her phone to check it, letting out a sigh of relief when she saw that it was from Vanderwood, but soon her relief turned into concern. `Can't talk am okay Wil take longr than thouht` He was saying that it was going to take longer...and the way he was texting was so unlike him.

Panic began to set in. Did something go wrong? He said he was okay...but was he really? She wouldn't put it past him to tell her he was when he wasn't. Cerise wanted to reply, but it wouldn't have done any good. He’d said he couldn't talk, and she didn't want to possibly compromise him by spamming his phone. That jerk had better come back in one piece.

***

He had spent the entire trip to the mission point texting Cerise, wishing he could be there with her instead of in the car with Zero Seven. It sucked ass that when they got to their location, he couldn’t talk to her much anymore, and maybe he was somewhat distracted by that fact. This was just further proof to him of why agents couldn’t have loved ones, why he couldn’t keep working, why they needed to get this done. At least he was managing to keep up with separating himself from the kid by calling him by his agency name, but he felt like that wasn’t really doing him any good on this mission either. Vanderwood didn’t feel like he was his usual self.

The first and second day went as planned. Every twelve hours he would send Cerise a quick message to let her know that he was okay. By the time Zero Seven felt he’d taken down all of the security cameras and given them the best possible guess on where his brother would be, Vanderwood was ready to get this shit over with.

They had some trouble getting past a few guards, but they slipped easily through the corridors of the building using the blueprint Seven had found. At this point, there wasn’t even a point to calling him Zero Seven…This mission was an emotional one anyway, not even agency regulated. With the security system down, they only had to worry about running into people. There was a strange large room that honestly looked like a church from the outside. Now they just needed to get through that to get toward the main information hub where Seven thought his brother would be.

Everything seemed to be going as it should…right up until they entered the strange church like building. For whatever reason, the people inside had been expecting them. Vanderwood tried not to blanch at the number of people surrounding them. They all seemed like they were in some haze, and the one that was clearly Seven's brother was no better. He’d noticed him almost immediately, the white hair tinted in pink and mint colored eyes not keeping him from being almost the exact likeness of his twin brother.

Brown eyes traveled to the queen bitch as she stood. Really, she was rather pretty, but her heart was clearly ugly. "Can I start my revenge, Savior?" The twin had a weird manic tone to his voice, and Vanderwood furrowed his brows. What the fuck was he talking about? The queen bitch looked over to them, her eyes glassy. "Not until after we give them their cleansing."

He shifted away from her. What the fuck did that even mean? They were at a major disadvantage here. Fuck. Already completely surrounded, and no way to just escape. "You're not giving me shit." Vanderwood didn't like the sound of it, and now two men were laying their hands on Seven. He moved instinctively, knocking the first to the ground before punching the other in the face so hard that the man fell backwards. "Seize him!" The bitch shrieked and then he was on the ground as four men kicked at him. He was lucky that the first one's kick to his jaw didn't snap his neck.

Vanderwood tried to block out the pain as the next started going nuts on his abdomen, one kicking him in the back of his leg and another assaulting his shoulder blade. It hurt like Hell, and he would be damn lucky if he didn't start internally bleeding to death right there on the floor. No, he couldn't think like that. He needed to get back to Cerise. Vanderwood just laid there, waiting for it to stop and thinking of her.

When he came back to reality, they'd ended up in some sort of dungeon, constantly being watched by two guards. Vanderwood ran his hands discreetly over his body, wincing at the pain, but finding his phone and a few other weapons still stashed on him. At least he had his phone. They'd found his taser and gun and stopped at that, it seemed. If he risked a text to Cerise, there was a chance he'd lose his phone completely. Still, he needed to let her know that he wouldn't be home, needed to keep her from doing anything rash. Not that he knew what she would do or could do.

He tucked himself into the corner sending the text as quickly as he could with his left hand, since his right was out of use, thanks to the damage his shoulder blade had taken. `Can't talk am okay Wil take longr than thouht` There wasn't time to fix the typos or punctuation. He stuffed his phone back into his pocket before making his way over to his moping partner, limping a little. "So. What are we gonna do?"

***

It was the fourth day now…When he could manage, he’d sent messages to confirm to Cerise that he was alive, but he was sure that she was frightened. Honestly, he was a little frightened too. There were guards everywhere, and they could easily knock out a few, but then they would be swiftly set upon by another few.

There was simply no way they could get out of this, and every day Seven’s brother would come by to taunt them about this ‘cleansing’, which Vanderwood was pretty certain was drug related, something that gave him a whole different kind of terror. Seven wasn’t as useful as he needed to be either, begging his brother to hear him out every time he was in their cell. Vanderwood had to knock the kid over the head just to get him to pay attention instead of staring off into a corner. They needed to get out of here somehow.

After long drawn out whispers of conversation, Seven and Vanderwood had decided they needed to knock out the guards and call for the help of Seven's friends. Usually they had the agency to rely on, but considering they were about to release the information of the major members of the organization as soon as this mission was over, as well as the fact that this mission was unauthorized, that wasn't an option. Seven had assured Vanderwood that the rich kid could handle sending the right people, and as much as both of them didn't want to involve anyone else, they didn't have a lot of options left open to them.

It was only a matter of minutes after Seven had made the call that they heard helicopters overhead. Damn. The rich dude really was resourceful. After what seemed like hours, they were finally released from their dungeon, giving Vanderwood a massive rush of relief as they were out of that dirty environment and back in control.

Seven hadn’t been able to handle this well. He felt like he’d completely lost himself in all of this. His brother…there was so much wrong with this. V had been supposed to keep Saeran safe…Rika had been…It didn’t make any sense. The others…they were all involved now, and they all needed to get to a hospital. At least with Saeran on his way to the hospital, he’d be able to remove the agency threat by releasing the information on those agents who deserved justice brought down on them…Seven wasn’t even sure he felt like praying, even though it felt like his entire soul was being flushed down a toilet.

Everyone would be getting the, 'cleansing' flushed from their systems, so he needed to go with Saeran, although Vanderwood looked…all sorts of fucked up. “Mary, shouldn’t you come too?” His girlfriend was at the bunker, she was safe, but it seemed like that didn’t matter much to Vanderwood, who only gave him a glare in response to the pet name he hated so much. "I need to get home to Cerise."

And he did. She was probably all sorts of panicked, and he felt absolutely empty without her. Driving hurt like Hell. Any time he moved the muscles black with bruise, it hurt like Hell, and every time he opened his mouth, his jaw clicked painfully. Still, the only thing he could think of was Cerise, holding her close and filling what felt like an empty void in his soul. He didn't care that he was driving, opening his phone to look at the picture they'd taken before he left. It wasn't enough, but at least he could look at her and remember the joy of that moment. His moitié, the other half of his soul.

Once he parked. the thought of having a cigarette wasn't even on his mind, nor was sex, he was tense and agitated, but all he wanted was her in his arms, to bury his face in her hair. He pushed the door open, grunting at the motion before calling out to her, his voice betraying the pain he was in. "Cerise?" Was she in his room? He limped along to find her.

Cerise had been napping when she was woken up by what she could have sworn had been her name being called. She sat up on the bed and listened...could she hear someone? The possibility of an intruder hadn't even crossed her mind; the first thing on her mind was the possibility of it being Vanderwood. Quickly she got up and practically ran for the door, opening it. Her suspicions were confirmed; he was finally home.

A mix of emotions swirled through her when she saw him. Love, adoration, worry, empathy, anger...He’d said he was okay, so why did he look so beaten up? Cerise couldn't stop the tears from forming in her eyes as she ran up to him and threw her arms around him as gently as she could, knowing that he had to be in all sorts of pain. "You jerk...you lied to me...said you were okay..."

Vanderwood could only describe the sight of her as angelic. He wrapped his arms around her, grunting softly at the pain as he pulled her close, nuzzling into her hair and breathing in her heavenly scent. It was like stitching his soul back together. "I'm more than okay now..." That was cheesy, but he was too tired to berate himself. He had lied to her a little...this was incredibly painful. "I missed you so much, shortcake." Pressing kisses to the top of her head, he made a move to get back to his room, keeping an arm around her, not willing to let go quite yet.

If it wouldn't have hurt so much, he would have flopped onto his bed, but instead he sat slowly, the pain in his leg reminding him that maybe he should just be laying down. Honestly, he should get some pain-relieving patches on his bruises just to get towards functioning again, but even the thought of getting up again was painful. "Mon amour...Would you do me a favor and get the first aid kit from the bathroom?" So far, she’d been silently watching him. His jaw was clicking again, and he winced, going to pull off his shirt, revealing the mass of bruising on his abdomen and right shoulder blade.

Cerise hadn't been able to do much to support him on his way back to his room. All she could think was that he was really beat up. It was a scary sight. He had asked for the first aid kit, but she didn't move upon his request, and as he pulled his shirt off to reveal even heavier injuries, she found herself getting even more angry and upset. Marion most definitely wasn't okay. Cerise frowned at him and sat on the edge of the bed with her back to him, her arms crossed. "...If you're so okay, you can get them yourself." Her voice held a bit of bitterness. What he needed was a doctor, not a first aid kit.

She was pissed at him. Rightfully so, he deserved it. Vanderwood was about to gather up the strength to get up and retrieve the first aid kit when she went off to get it for him after all. Cerise figured she might as well give him what he wanted, because he wasn’t about to go to a doctor, and she wasn’t about to let him hurt himself more with getting up, even if a small part of her thought he deserved it.

Vanderwood wasn’t really sure how to feel at the moment, even though she was angry at him, he couldn’t help feeling so refreshed simply being around her. Cerise had wordlessly gotten up to fetch the first aid kit and bring it over, and now she was rifling through it instead of handing it to him. “Do you want me to-“ Vanderwood didn’t get to finish his sentence before she gave him a glare. Apparently, Cerise was not in the mood to let him take care of it. She had some idea of what to do and grabbed some pain relievers from the kit, preparing a glass of water and bringing that to him. "Open."

He did as she requested, opening his mouth for the pills and water and drinking it down. God, it felt like forever since he'd had something to drink. Vanderwood probably hadn't eaten in over 24 hours either, and he certainly smelled terrible after four days of not showering and sleeping in a car and on a cold dungeon floor.

His skin started to crawl, but he had other pressing matters to attend to. He reached for the kit to grab those little patches, not wanting to bother her any more than he already had. Cerise just glared at him. Vanderwood started with popping one on his jaw, a couple on his abdomen and then contorting himself to attempt to place some properly on his shoulder blade. Which, really, he shouldn't be attempting to do by himself, because that was just hurting him more, but he wasn't about to ask her any more favors. He'd pissed her off enough already.

Cerise had been watching silently as he attempted to patch himself up and kinda fail. What did he think he was doing? Really? Marion was an idiot, pretending that he was ‘okay’ and trying to take care of himself. It was only making her madder. Sighing, she grabbed a patch from him and placed it properly on his shoulder blade herself, making him snort softly that she was still bothering to take care of him despite how angry she was. God, he loved this woman.

She disappeared into the other room, and while she was gone, he pulled his pants down just enough to pop a patch on the back of his upper thigh. She didn’t need to see everything. It was about fifteen minutes before she reappeared with what looked like soup in a cup. The cup of soup was a welcome meal, even if he would never eat that normally.

His heart was doing that melty thing that it always did when she took care of him, too, and Vanderwood thought it was oddly romantic…in his own special way. Cerise had just figured that the soup would be easier on him, since his jaw had looked pretty bad. "I'm not really good at cooking, but this should be tolerable. " Marion just nodded as Cerise sat on the bedside beside him and offered to help him down it by placing the rim of the cup by his mouth.

Fucking Hell, she was amazingly kind, kinder than he deserved, and her help was more than he’d ever gotten from anyone other than maybe an agency nurse, and she got paid for that shit anyway. Vanderwood let her help him drink the soup down, feeling his stomach protest somewhat at finally getting food again, but knowing that it would settle before long.

As he finished off the soup, he reached for her, taking her hand and pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles. She deserved an apology, and he meant to give it to her. "I'm sorry...I should have told you. I didn't have much time to explain, and I didn't want you to worry...but I shouldn't have lied to you."

She enjoyed the feeling of his lips on her skin, but as much as she enjoyed it, she was still irritated with him. "Shut up, don't talk." Cerise was happy that he was apologizing, she just didn't feel like hearing it at the moment. He was just going to have to put up with that. She got up, taking the emptied cup with her to put away and then came back to clean up all the packaging mess from the first aid kit.

He did as she asked, clamping his mouth shut and watching her move about the room cleaning up. Vanderwood was happy she was picking up for him because otherwise it would have just driven him crazy. It was difficult to understand for him, the fact that his apology didn’t mean anything, but then he’d never been good with interpersonal things. Honestly, he couldn’t even remember the last time he’d apologized for something. Cerise was pissed…he deserved that…and it wasn’t like someone had to accept an apology even if it was given. Perhaps she just wasn’t ready for it? Hell if he knew, but he laid back on the bed as best as he could, letting her do the cleaning, despite itching to do so himself.

Shit, he needed a shower too. Vanderwood tried not to think about it. Tomorrow…tomorrow after he took her back home like he’d promised, at least not failing her there, he could clean, and he could shower in the morning. For now, just focusing on the fact that he would get to clean up soon was keeping him from wanting to scrape his skin off.

Cerise left the actual kit out in case he needed it, watching him as he was laying there in thought before settling on the bed beside him and getting as close to him as she could without hurting him. Lying beside him, she reached out to stroke his hair comfortingly. She was mad, yeah...but that didn't mean that she didn't care or didn't love him, and she was sure that he knew that. Right now, no matter how much of a jerk he was, she wanted to be close…to appreciate that he was back at all.

As she played with his hair, Vanderwood closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of it. Cerise was angry, but the care was there. It was only too obvious how much she cared. No one ever cared for him like that in his life, and it made him smile, despite all the pain he was in. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, feeling like he needed it after being away for so long, thinking maybe she needed it, too. Now he simply laid in silence, lightly playing with her hair, happy to be back with the love of his life.

Cerise felt the silence was much needed. She didn't want to snap at him too much, just needing some time to cool down before she was ready for normal conversation with him. The jerk had lied to her and was in so much pain. It hurt, made her chest feel tight. She welcomed his arms and gently snuggled into him, hoping she wasn't hurting him too badly. After so many days away from him and despite being upset, she was happy to be in his arms and beside him again. There was no way she could fall asleep after that, so she just laid there awake, enjoying the feeling of having her hair played with as she returned the favor

Vanderwood's thoughts drifted around as he felt himself relaxing into her. He hadn't even needed sex to get to this point and was honestly pretty proud of himself, knowing that it was all thanks to Cerise that he could relax like a normal human being. The two times they'd had sex had only served to prove to him even more. While he was still impatient as ever, his relationship with sex had changed into something else entirely.

He remembered the last time they’d had sex, making a sharp intake of breath as it hit him full force that he’d nearly forgotten to put on a condom. It was the first time that had ever happened to him, and knowing the way it felt being with her, seemed to him that he could easily forget again. Vanderwood internally slapped himself, not wanting to keep his thoughts drifting in that direction.

His arms tightened around her. Now wasn't the time to think about it. They'd talk about it tomorrow when he went with her to her apartment. Vanderwood felt incredibly stupid on many levels, but again, it wasn't the time. Why was he even thinking about it right now? He was exhausted, she was still angry, and he was passing out even with that moment of panic. After pressing a soft kiss to her forehead and nuzzling into her wealth of hair, he took some time to just breathe in her scent, not even realizing that he was sinking into sleep.

Cerise had felt his hold on her tighten, heard his sharp intake of breath, but now he was relaxing again. She didn't know what he was thinking, but it didn't feel like it was really the time to ask. He needed to rest, be able to recover. and she wasn't going to keep him up any longer than he needed to be. He was out shortly after kissing her forehead, easy to notice with the way he went lax. The room was cold, but he was warm, and alive. Such a jerk…Marion had terrified her, but she’d clung to the fact that he was okay only to now find out that he really wasn’t. That was what made her so mad. She sighed again and snuggled into him more, hoping not to wake him, but he was so exhausted that he didn’t even stir in his sleep.

She wasn't sure when she had fallen asleep, opening her eyes slowly and pulling back from him. For the first time since meeting him, she’d woken up before he did. Marion was out cold and was probably going to stay that way for a while, despite how light of a sleeper he was. Even a secret agent couldn’t train himself out of sleep when he was exhausted. Cerise did her best not to wake him as she carefully moved away from him to hop off the bed, heading to the kitchen to fix a glass of water to set by the bed in case he woke up. After grabbing some fresh clothes, she closed herself in the bathroom to take a quick shower, not wanting to use too much of the warm water. He was probably going to want to use the shower when he woke up.

The sound of the shower turning on was what finally woke him. He opened his eyes slowly and rolled over, groaning softly at how sore he felt. There was a glass of water on the table. A smile spread across his face as he realized Cerise must have put it there. Vanderwood drank it quickly before forcing himself out of bed. Gross, he felt rather gross in general, but Cerise was in the shower for now, and the best he could do was change clothes.

Energy wasn't exactly something he had a lot of at the moment, but he needed to eat, so he made his way to the kitchen, making some toast and grabbing some juice. Vanderwood set some out for her as well, not sure if she had eaten yet but guessing that she hadn’t. When she was done with her shower they'd just switch places, and then he could get delightfully clean. After that, back to her place. The thought of taking her home wasn’t one he was a fan of either, but she did need to be in her own place.

His thoughts stilled for a moment as he remembered what had panicked him last night. Fuck...They'd need to talk about that. It wasn’t a major emergency, but the fact that it could have been was enough to tell him they needed to talk sooner rather than later. It was strange the way that after coming back from something so dangerous and stressful, a person slipped into their normal life as though nothing had happened. Before he’d just continued on with training, so agency life was what had felt ‘normal.’ Vanderwood snorted at his own musings as he bit into a piece of toast.

***

Cerise finished her shower quickly, getting dressed as quickly as she could, too. Her hair was still wet, but she could dry it later, wanting to check on him first. She wrung out any excess water and threw a towel over her head before heading into his room. Her eyes scanned the room, finding he wasn't in bed anymore. "Marion?" Cerise called out and headed out into the kitchen, finding him there. She noted that he looked a little better, rested at least. "Morning. Shower's all yours." It would be silly to lie, she was still a little upset, but she had had same time to cool down. Sleep had definitely helped.

Vanderwood heard his name and perked up a little as she entered the room. "Morning..." His eyes scanned hers, checking to see if she was still angry, and it looked like she was, at least a little. "Thanks...I’ll be right back.” It would have been a lie if he said he wasn’t absolutely excited at the thought of taking a shower and washing off the dirt and grime. He chugged down the rest of his juice before wiping his mouth and giving the top of her head a quick kiss.  Vanderwood limped as quickly as he could into his shower.

Cerise gave him a non-committal 'Hnn' before she sat down and nibbled on what he’d set out for her. Even though he was injured, he was still thinking about her, making her breakfast. God, she was being a brat. Briefly she wondered where the red head was, but since Vanderwood wasn't broken up about anything, she assumed he was okay. As much as they seemed to not get along, she could tell they cared about each other. There was no way Vanderwood would have let anything happen to him.

Vanderwood felt like he’d been in a dream-like state as he showered. It felt so good to have the hot water over his sore muscles, that and washing off all the grime. He tried not to think too much about the conversations they needed to have as he dried off and got dressed, packing up a little bag for himself before heading into the kitchen. "Want me to help you pack up your things, mon amour?" He was taking her home today...It felt a little weird, not that he was going to let her stay there alone tonight. The last time he saw her in that apartment, she was being attacked.

She had been a little lost in thought when he came back into the room and inquired about helping her. "Huh, what...?" She stared confused for a moment while her brain caught up. Right. The plan had been to take her back to her place when he got back. It had slipped her mind as a possibility, since he’d been so injured, but clearly, he was still sticking to the plan. That…probably shouldn’t have surprised her, considering how OCD he was. "Oh! No, I have it. " For one thing, she wasn’t about to let him hurt himself helping her, but for another, Cerise had packed up most of her things already while waiting for his return, besides the things she knew she was going to immediately need.

He didn’t really have much of a chance to respond before she was moving the dishes to the sink and washing them. It was oddly homey, and he found himself wanting this every day, the time together at least. Vanderwood lightly touched the bruise on his jaw as she ran off to grab the rest of her things, feeling just a light twinge of pain. The formerly black bruises were now yellow and orange in color, so it wouldn't be long before they were gone completely. It wasn’t even that long before she appeared again and stood in front of the garage door. “Ready when you are, Marion."

It felt awkward to him, the way he was stiff completely unrelated to his pain as he helped her to the care. Vanderwood couldn’t quite place his finger on it, maybe all of the things that they needed to talk about were just…picking at him harder than he thought. As he was about to help her into the car, he felt like he needed to say at least something. "Hey...shortcake..." She paused and looked up into his eyes. Maybe she was ready to hear it now? He gently slid his fingers along her jawline, urging her to lock her eyes with his. "I really am sorry." It wasn't like him to apologize to anyone. Usually, he had nothing to be sorry for, but with Cerise, he was as vulnerable as he could ever be. "I love you, Cerise."

His eyes were so genuine as he apologized to her, and she couldn’t help the way her heart responded or the relief she felt now as the anger had washed off of her. It's not like she could stay mad at him forever. Cerise caught his hand and nuzzled into it before bringing it to her lips and kissing his knuckles like he often did for her. "I know...I was....I was just scared. I want you to be honest with me, even if the truth hurts." Cerise moved to embrace him gently before she got ready to get into the car. "I love you too, Marion."

His face lit up with blush at her simple little actions, those small moments feeling like they mattered more to him than anything else. "I'll try my best. I'm not really used to...sharing my world." He lightly stroked her hair before taking her hand to help her into the car as he liked to do. Maybe what he'd just said didn't make much sense, but hopefully she understood.

It's not that he really made a habit of lying, but it was far more often that he just lied by omission, because he had to, as much as he hated lies. Vanderwood drove in silence for a while, biting his tongue. There was still that other thing they needed to talk about. For the time being she was blissfully unaware, but it wouldn't be long before she'd notice how agitated he was, if she hadn't already.

Cerise was lost in her own thoughts as he drove. She hoped that eventually Vanderwood would open up to her more, maybe trust her. Yeah, she would worry, but at least she would have a clear idea of what was going on and what to expect. It was a complete shock to her when she’s first seen him when he came back, and she didn't want that to happen again.

The silence was starting to become almost deafening. Cerise felt like there was something between them, something unsaid, and she wanted to talk, but decided to busy herself with her phone for comfort. The air seemed so strange. Did he want to talk too? She peeked over at him more than once, waiting for him to speak up.

Maybe it wasn’t the right time at all, but the thought was starting to become impossible to ignore, so Vanderwood decided to just get it out there. "I uh...I have to tell you something.”  He needed to tell her something? She tensed up a bit. What in the world was he talking about? “We kind of might have a problem...Well, I don't think we have a problem...but the other night I got really distracted, and...I was so caught up in you I just, I uh...For the first time ever, I did something majorly stupid. "

She was giving him her full attention, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion as Vanderwood was getting frustrated with himself. His words were having trouble working. Talking to Cerise about these types of matters was constantly flustering. It would be so much simpler if he could just come out and say it. "I almost forgot to wear a condom." Oh great. Well, at least now it was said. He coughed softly, going back to biting his tongue as he watched for her reaction from his periphery vision.

Oh. Cerise was at a loss for words before she could gather her composure. It's not like she remembered either..."I...uhh..." What was the correct response? She took in a deep breath. "I won't get pregnant will I...?" Cerise internally screamed at herself a little. Obviously, he’d only almost forgotten, but now her mind was going down another path. "I think...I'm too young." It was a little like having cold water dumped on her all at once. What would she even do if she got pregnant? She felt herself start to panic a little but tried to talk herself down from it. Nothing had happened, it could have happened, but it hadn’t.

"I…No, but…We should get you on some birth control in the future, just in case…I forget." Vanderwood couldn't stop biting his tongue, her comment that she was too young just making him think more about it. Cerise felt she was too young…but he wasn’t sure no matter how old she was if he could ever be a father. "I can't..." He sighed heavily. She wanted his honesty, and she deserved it. "I can't be a father. After Caleb...I mean...He died in my bathroom. I knew something was up, and I left him at my place alone. Had I been a better parental figure than I was a brother, maybe none of that would have happened."

Vanderwood felt like his heart was crushing in on itself as he pushed his bangs back with one hand, keeping the other on the steering wheel. "I'm sorry. Really, I never thought I'd have anyone in my life again, and I certainly never thought I'd have a girlfriend or a family. I don't know." That was a heavy conversation to just lay on her. It hadn’t been meant to be that kind of conversation, just a suggestion to solve any potential forgetfulness.  

He didn't like it, the pain that he felt, and he liked even less that now she was stuck feeling it too. It wasn't like he would run away if it ever happened. Vanderwood could never leave Cerise, but the thought of being a parent terrified him. Then again...No...Not now, and maybe not ever. His jaw was starting to get sore with how much he was biting his tongue. "I might not ever be able to give you that..."

Marion was clearly hurting so badly, and the air in the car was only feeling heavier, but at least he was telling her. That was all she could ask for right now. "Marion..." She listened to him talk, concern apparent in her eyes. "You were so young...a child can't raise another child. You did the best you knew how." Cerise put a hand on his leg and squeezed gently. "I can't say I understand how you feel, and I'm not going to pretend that I do. You've been through so much, and I've been through so little..."

Her heart ached for him. What happened with his brother was beyond his control, and Cerise wished that he could realize that, as hard as it was. Marion would probably beat himself up over it for the rest of his life. "I honestly....I never thought about it...but..." She paused, trying to search for the right words, "I want you to know that...all I need from you is yourself. That's all I want. You don't have to give me anything. "

Vanderwood listened, not really able to bring himself to talk with the knot that seemed to have formed in his throat. What she was saying...It wasn't wrong, but he would always feel like he could have done more, that he could have done something. His foot had gone off the gas, letting the car slow on its own as the weight of her words sank into him. 'All I need from you is yourself. That's all I want.' He pulled over, and Cerise was about to ask him why, thinking that maybe she had said something wrong before he was leaning over to slide his hand along her cheek and kiss her deeply.

He needed this right now. It was like his heart couldn't decide whether to disintegrate or to swell with affection, so it was doing both and he didn't know what else to do except this. She made the pain bearable when any other time he would have been slamming his hand through something or finding some random woman to just bury the pain. Cerise made him see things from a totally different point of view, with a new outlook on life.

She relaxed into his kiss. It felt like it had been forever since they'd last kissed, and she’d missed it, missed him. Cerise returned his kiss with fervor, letting him know how much she cared and how much she had missed him. Maybe one day he would be able to see himself through her eyes and stop blaming himself, even though it was a lot to hope for. Whether he could or not, she would stay with him every step of the way.

Vanderwood felt choked up, something now burning at his eyes. Was he crying? He was honestly crying. Vanderwood kissed her just a little longer, having missed the feeling of her lips on his. This wasn’t like when he sought physical release to make the pain go away, the pain was still there…just it was somehow a lot lighter.

It was so different, letting himself actually bear the pain, but it also felt good underneath it all. Vanderwood touched his cheek as he pulled away from her, fingers coming away wet, snorting softly at himself. Really, this just wasn't like him. He hadn't cried for so long it seemed, and now, here he was, crying in front of his girlfriend. It wasn't that he felt emasculated; it was just funny to him that after all these years she was what it took to break through his barriers. Seemingly, his whole life had been leading him towards her, somehow.

He pressed another kiss to her forehead, thumb stroking her cheek gently. "I love you. You're all I need." Cerise was surprised to see that he was crying when he had pulled away. If he was crying then..."I..." She started to sniffle as tears welled up in her eyes. "...I love you too." It wasn't that she was sad, she was actually really happy. Cerise just happened to be a sympathy crier. At least...that's how it was at first.

Once she started to cry just because he was crying, she started to cry harder as all the emotions from the past few days came flooding to her. Her entire composure broke, and she wasn't able to hold it in. Cerise didn't care if Marion thought she was a baby or if she was being silly, she just wanted to be close to him. After flinging her seatbelt off she leaned over to throw her arms around his torso and bury her face into him, sobbing. Really...he was the one who had all these problems and emotions to deal with and here she was making a scene and being a baby.

Vanderwood pulled her close despite the pain as she’d launched herself at him, nuzzling into her in turn as he gently stroked her hair, muttering softly into her ear. "Je'taime...Everything's okay." He continued to mutter sweet words, not really sure of what else to do. This was another of those new situations where he berated himself for not watching more romance movies, so he'd have known what to do. Vanderwood wasn't entirely sure why she was crying. Hell, he wasn't sure why he was crying, but right now he just wanted to hold her close and never let go.

After today, he was going to ask her to marry him. He’d already wanted to, had already thought about it before he left for his mission, had wanted that domestic bliss of watching her do the dishes just today…Yeah…Tomorrow he'd get a ring, and then he'd find the right time. It seemed like he held her there like that for hours as their tears dried up, but he still didn't let her go for a while longer, needing her close to him. "Je'taime, Cerise...Let's get you home, so I can hold you even tighter." That sounded cheesy but right somehow.

She didn't know how long they were there, and she didn't care. Marion didn't judge her, he just held her and told her that he loved her. It did wonders for calming her, and she could feel her tears lessen until she wasn't crying anymore. "...Je'taime aussi..." Cerise murmured into him and pulled back to put her seat belt back on, settling back down into her own seat. "That sounds good..." She was looking forward to potential cuddles, like she couldn't get enough of just having his arms around her, sharing their warmth. It was a beautiful feeling that she didn't think she could get tired of ever. Cerise leaned against the window and closed her eyes. The trip wouldn't be long, but a little relaxation never hurt anyone, and she even opted to ignore her rapidly buzzing phone.

Like this? Want more? Become a Patron ~Let’s Connect! FFC

Tagged Chapter Directory

[fanfictionconnectionwordpress]

Mystic Messenger Fanfiction | VanderwoodxOC Cerise - Tagged | Ch. 4 Secret Agent Man

***No hidden scenes this week, but....I think you'll enjoy the comedy of this chapter, even if it ends on a bit of a...sour note? ~Let’s Connect! FFC

Remember, this is a sequel to Vanderwood Backstory, and Cerise has a bio. Don’t forget to subscribe to the email list for access to R-Rated Scenes and my monthly newsletter. You can support my writing on patreon and get access to my VIP Discord Server or other goodies like early chapter releases and hidden scenes.  Tagged Chapter Directory***

Cerise had spent the next few days catching up on her favorite telenovela. She couldn’t understand a word they were saying, but she enjoyed it nonetheless, imagining it was a bit like being addicted to crack…except not really. Rarely did she see Vanderwood beyond when he would bring her something to eat, but he would never stay. Cerise had tried inviting him a few times to play a game or watch a movie or just something, but to no avail. It was getting to the point where Cerise was beginning to crave real actual social interaction with actual people, and she felt like she was going to go stir crazy in that room when the evening of the fourth day rolled around. “Hey!” She called out, seemingly talking to a door, if there’d been an onlooker. “Vanderwoooood!” Now she knocked on the door, waiting for a response from him.

The knock and call for him had his heart doing that stupid flip thing again. He’d been trying to keep his distance, as much as he wanted to join her for a game or a movie, it just wasn’t a good idea, not with the way his heart jumped when she talked to him. Mostly, he’d kept to himself, going through intel reports on Jessica and Drawl to brush up on their habits and fighting styles, doing some minor paperwork, and making sure to check in with boss that he’d officially been given the counter-hit job. Of course, only he and Seven knew about Cerise. It wasn’t good to involve a civilian where the agency was concerned. It was really fortunate in this case that Drawl and Jessica had a personal vendetta against him. Vanderwood was planning on killing the two, whether he’d gotten the counter-hit or not anyway, simply because that’s what it would take to keep Cerise safe.

He went to the door, internally groaning at himself and his reactions to her before responding, just another person seemingly talking to a door. “What’s wrong Cerise? Do you need something?” She typically left him alone other than when he brought food, so it was possible something was amiss. The thought wasn’t a comforting one. Vanderwood opened the door for her, eyes quickly sweeping her room for anything, but everything seemed the same, nothing out of place except the beautiful and very petite woman standing there.

Cerise was just happy that he’d come to the door. Not that she’d been expecting him to ignore her or anything. He seemed to be scanning the place over for any trouble, but the only real trouble was that she was so bored. Cerise put on the most pitiful look she could manage and tugged at his shirt. “Yeah…” She started, making sure to sound the part too, so far so good. “I’m really lonely and bored…will you please let me out? I wanna go do something fun.” Cerise wasn’t sure he would fall for her dramatics, but it was certainly worth a try. All for the good of her sanity! She wasn’t above a little trickery.

Vanderwood was…Lord, he was choking on air. It took all of his concentration just to figure out how to talk again with a puppy dog look like that staring up at him. How was he supposed to respond to a look like that, and her tugging on his shirt? What even were words? How even did you use them? He internally slapped some sense into himself, biting his tongue. It simply wasn’t a good idea for her or even him to go out right now, in fact, they should be limiting their contact with other human beings as much as possible. Anyone who saw their faces was at risk of leading Jessica and Drawl right to them, and if they were caught on anyone else’s cameras and posted to the internet, hello facial recognition software and geotags.

She was lucky he was even letting her be on social media, but then again, it was best if no one in her life thought anything was going on and tried to find her at her apartment. By now, it would have been cleaned of any evidence of a struggle, and his blood on the floor, but it would still be a major problem if she had any visitors. Damn…he needed to give her a good answer, puppy dog eyes and all. Vanderwood sighed and leaned his arm against the doorframe. If only they could watch a movie or do something together. Even the thought was overstepping bounds. “I’m sorry, but it’s going to be a while before I let you out. Can’t you find something else to do? Instafram some selfies or something?” Vanderwood didn’t really know what he was talking about. Social media wasn’t something he used personally, especially the picture services.

“A while?” Now she was really pouting, and that really wasn’t good for his heart. “How long is a while? There’s only so much I can post or take selfies about how bored I am before my followers get bored too, ya know?” Cerise sighed and let go of his shirt, still looking up at him. “There’s nothing interesting to do in a hotel room.” I can think of a few things. His internal response was very much an unwanted thought.

Vanderwood just looked at her for a moment before he could find some sort of proper response. “A while is a while. I’m preparing to do a hit, you know. I can’t have our position compromised before I want it to be.” Honesty, as uncomfortable as it was, was what she needed to hear, and what he’d promised himself to give her to make keeping her trust easier, and maybe even hopefully scare her away from him. “Until they’re dead, the likelihood of me taking you out to do anything is pretty slim.” He realized his oversight a little too late, mentally griping at himself that even afterwards he wouldn’t be taking her out to do anything. That wrenched a little at his heart, but he shook his head and pushed off from the door frame. “Start learning another language, or find a game on your phone. I have intel to go through.”

Cerise huffed, clutching her phone in her hand. If he was going to be difficult about it, so was she. It wasn’t like she was asking much, just to wander around the hotel or something. Anything was better at this point than being stuck between the same four walls. When he pushed off from the door frame, she saw her chance. Now she ducked under him and crossed into his room, planting herself on the floor, looking up at him with her arms crossed. By the look of things, all of his work was in here, so it wasn’t like he could just leave. “Guess I’ll just have to hang out here, then.”

God fucking damn it. Her entering his room, well, that was exactly the opposite of what he needed. It was frustrating enough the way he reacted to her whenever he brought her food, even in the simplest of conversation his heart going wild, but now she was in his room. It wasn’t good for him, especially with as long as it had been since his last fix and how irritated he was. That thought didn’t help him any either, because it just made him feel guilty, which irritated him more. Vanderwood had a few choices, pick her up and place her back in her room, potentially making it worse or dissipating what trust they did have between each other, or just dealing with it.

The latter was probably the better option. He was somehow on the road to a recovery thanks to her, not even thinking about grabbing a cigarette anymore. Maybe if he clung to the thought of her long enough he’d be able to kick his bad habits completely. No, probably not. Somehow, he had a feeling that when she went back to her old life, his old life would seem that much more fascinating. Vanderwood closed the door before walking past her to sit on his bed. She was so fucking cute when she was being obstinate, and it honestly made him feel a little angry, certainly tense. He wasn’t angry at her, though, just his own reactions to her. Just don’t touch her, whatever you do. “Find something on the TV then.” At least if she was watching TV, they wouldn’t have to talk much.

Seriously? She was blinking at him in confusion now, tilting her head a bit. Cerise had expected much more protesting from him. Was she disappointed or relieved? At least arguing with him would be something to do. The remote was on the nightstand, seemingly untouched. Did this man not watch TV…? Cerise stood up to retrieve it and then took a place on the floor, at the foot of the bed so it was easier to see the television and have something to lean against.

Shortly after turning on the TV, she found exactly what she wanted to watch. It was a show about a handsome player doctor, a pretty smokin’ lady janitor, and their romance despite all the protests from their families…or at least she thought that was what it was about. Cerise honestly had no idea what anyone was saying, but she watched intently as what appeared to be a cat fight between two women played out on the screen. Even though she was stuck watching TV again, she took comfort in the fact that she wasn’t completely alone.

He’d raised an eyebrow at her show choice, but wasn’t saying anything. Did she even speak Spanish? She was watching the show rather intently, so he couldn’t be entirely sure. It wouldn’t be completely surprising if she did, considering she at least spoke Korean and French. Surely, she could speak another language. Vanderwood snorted softly as the doctor character accidentally called the maid fat. Why was he actually getting into this? He stretched and laid across his bed, Cerise right in front of him at the foot of it. Well, he shouldn’t have done that, but it did feel better for his back. Vanderwood broke the silence out of curiosity, having noticed that she didn’t react to the ‘fat maid’ thing at all. “Do you even know what they’re saying?”

She took her eyes off of the TV and peeked her head over the food of the bed to look at him, not having actually expected him to talk. “Nope!” Cerise now laughed a little, realizing how silly it sounded to watch something she didn’t understand, but hey. A guilty pleasure was a guilty pleasure. “…Do you?” He had snorted at something, probably something to do with the show, unless he was having an interesting conversation in his head.

“Maybe about half of what they’re saying…yeah.” Her laugh had his heart twisting. Why was she so perfect? This one girl was the only one who’d ever made him feel this way. Vanderwood bit his tongue before he explained what little he’d gleaned from the show so far. “The doctor guy accidentally called the maid lady fat, who it turns out is pregnant. That other lady is the doctor’s wife, and the maid just told her about the baby.” Really these shows were incredibly dramatic, and he wasn’t sure he understood why anyone would watch it, whether they understood Spanish or not.

The way Cerise was now looking between him and the TV had him starting to translate what the maid was saying next, but then his face filled with color and he just wasn’t able to finish the sentence. “So, she’s telling the wife all about…nevermind.” Cerise frowned at him. “All about what?” Now she was turning to look towards the TV again and try to guess at it. Whatever the maid was telling the wife, she looked really upset and offended. He had begun to tell her and now she was just dying to know, but it looked like he wasn’t talking.

Wait…was…was he not telling her on purpose? Because she forced her way into his room? She hadn’t seen his massive blush thanks to the TV screen, but Cerise pouted again and climbed up to plant herself beside him now, prodding at him with her pointer finger. “Heeey, Vanderwood, you meanie. Tell me!” Jesus Christ. That made him tense up. What the maid had described was bad enough on its own, but having to tell her with her right next to him?…Could he even control his own mind from slipping to thinking about Cerise doing?…Nope. He mentally slapped himself and bit down on his tongue. Maybe he did need a cig…and a hooker…like he needed air. This was far too much for him. Cerise wasn’t going to stop unless he gave her something, so he tried to get his words worked around enough that he didn’t have to directly translate it. “Alright…so…she described….rather specifically…how that baby was conceived.” That wasn’t too direct, and she’d get the picture probably, or so he hoped. Now he scooted a little away from her, but the bed was only so big.

“Oh!” Cerise said it like the entire world suddenly made sense to her. “So that’s why the wife is so mad.” Now she nodded, pleased with his answer, but not moving from her spot. “You know, I didn’t even know until just now that that was even his wife.” She paused as she watched the TV, one woman slapping the other, causing Cerise to unconsciously wince. “I just…kinda figured she was some salty lady who liked him too. Now the jealousy makes sense.”

Vanderwood snorted softly. “Yeah…things tend to make shit ton of sense when you speak the language of the show you’re watching.” So that was a little douchey of a response, but he was rather a douchey guy most of the time. There was something oddly intimate about watching a ridiculous telenovela with her, and it wasn’t helping him with how tense he felt at all. Now he pushed out of bed to stretch. Maybe exercising would relieve him a little bit. “I’m going to work out for a bit, if you want to go back to your room.” Out of habit, he’d started to pull off his shirt before thinking better of it, noticing the way her eyes widened. He’d at least let her decide whether she wanted to leave first.

Her response was quick, moving to make a grab for a pillow and hanging onto it. “And suffer eternal loneliness again? Never.” She had finally achieved some sort of extended human interaction after what seemed like forever, so she might as well make herself comfortable, because she didn’t plan on moving. Vanderwood returned to taking off his shirt again then, and Cerise’s eyes only continued to widen. Was he really taking his shirt off…right now? Oh no….Don’t say something stupid, don’t say something stupid. “Besides, I think I found a more interesting show.” Her sing song voice didn’t give away the internal screaming as she berated herself. Dammit, Cerise, you had one job!

Fuck. He was too busy internally dying to notice that she was too, as his face lit up with blush again. Vanderwood had literally never blushed around any woman before her. Hell, even in high school when he’d gotten kissed by a classmate, nothing. He groaned at himself internally before he tossed his shirt towards his bag, turning his back to her and stretching for the ceiling, revealing his half demon, half angel wing tattoo, the exit wound scar from the bullet he’d taken for Seven marring a few feathers on the right side.

Cerise felt like her brain had just stopped functioning, and she pretty much lost all interest in whatever was going on on the television. He was really muscular, which made sense considering his line of work. She could feel the heat rising in her cheeks as she just kept looking. It was impossible to tear away her gaze really, now noting the various scars he had, which again wasn’t so surprising. Cerise almost wanted to ask how he’d gotten them, but she didn’t think he’d answer her even if she asked.

Was it rude to keep staring? Probably…but she just couldn’t help it! While his back was turned, she snapped a picture, making sure to zoom in slightly to get a good shot of his tattoo. Vanderwood didn’t notice, thinking it was easy enough to reach the ceiling, being as tall as he was in a country that was mostly built for shorter people. Unfortunately, it wasn’t like Seven’s house where he had installed the bar hanging from his ceiling to use for pullups and sit-ups. On the road, he had to do everything on the floor. If there was one thing he missed while on the road, it was that bar. Now, he got on the ground and started doing sit-ups, trying to pretend that a beautiful woman wasn’t watching him.

She fumbled a little with her phone when he went to do sit-ups, hiding that she had just taken a picture of him. It was almost too much now, and she had to bury her head in the pillow she was holding, otherwise he was going to notice how red she was. Probably red enough to put a tomato to shame. Vanderwood was just happy that she wasn’t watching him anymore. Yet, he found that strangely disappointing too. He finished up his sit-ups and switched to push-ups, first both arms and then one handed, needing to do the full reps on each hand. Had he caught a glimpse of her blushing as she nuzzled more into that pillow? She certainly seemed interested in that thing. Did it smell like him? That was a weird thought to have. What kind of a weirdo thought like that? Or was that normal for people who had crushes? Shit fuck. Best not to dwell on the fact that he had a crush…or whatever.

Now Cerise peeked out over the pillow. He was still going at it. She at least admired his dedication to keep his body in shape even while they were stuck in a hotel. Cerise probably wasn’t doing herself any favors by hiding in the pillow...In fact, she was probably being all the more obvious. This was definitely a lot better than being trapped in her room though…Her eyes flickered to where he was again. Yep, definitely a lot better. She couldn’t help but to…take another picture. Her hands moved automatically like it was the most natural thing in the world for her as she quickly, and not so inconspicuously, took another picture of him.

Had she just? Vanderwood stopped and just stared for a moment. Of course she had. He groaned, and sat up, giving her a look. “Didn’t I ask you to stop taking pictures of me?” Vanderwood had only just started to feel better, and now he was irritated again, pushing off the floor to make a grab for her phone. Cerise squeaked and fell backwards when he reached for her phone. Her first instinct was to smack him in the face with the pillow she had been holding, which promptly fell to the floor as soon as she chucked it, but she made sure to hold her phone away from him so that he couldn’t grab it.

He ended up crouched on top of her, having swatted the pillow she’d thrown at him away. Now he’d managed to grab the phone as well as her hand, but then he looked down at her face which was literally only inches from his. Vanderwood’s face heated up quickly, and he let go of her, sitting back on his haunches and holding his hands up like she was pointing a gun at him. The gun, was just how damn attractive she was to him. What the Hell? He dropped his hands and sighed. “Can you please not?”

It took a second for Cerise to recover. He had been so close. Now she sat up and looked at him. Somehow, he looked annoyed, but he was still…blushing…No matter how harshly her brain told her not to, she leaned forward towards him. She was sure her face was red too, but this was just too perfect of a moment. “Not what?” Cerise all but purred, dangerously close to him now. “This?” She waited until she was basically right up on him to take another picture while his blush seemed to be at its maximum. Payback for not letting her out of her room for all that time.

Fucking Hell. It was taking everything in him not to just grab her and kiss her right then, particularly after she took that picture. Of course, then it would have been out of anger, the need for a fix. Wait…would it have not been that way before the photo? All he knew right now was that he couldn’t have Cerise playing around in his room anymore. He took a deep breath before he stood, picking her up over his shoulder and taking her to the door.

Cerise didn’t have time to respond before she was slung over his shoulder. “Hey!” She protested and struggled a bit before he opened her door and set her down. He was quick to close and lock the door then, talking to her through it. “Have a good night, Cerise. Dinner will be soon.” She was probably all sorts of upset with him, which hurt a bit. He just couldn’t be around her right now, not with what he was wanting to do. Vanderwood could hear her complaints through the door. “Vanderwood, you meanie! It’s only six pm!”

She knew that he could hear her, but he wasn’t responding. It wasn’t like she had been asking to roam the city or anything. Now she tried knocking, no answer still. “Ugh.” Cerise huffed and sat on the bed, hugging one of her own pillows as an idea dawned on her. If he was going to be like this, she was going to make his life Hell until he decided to finally let her out. “Let’s see how long you can handle…this!” She pulled up a song on a music app and set it to repeat on the loudest volume setting, putting it by the door. “I hope you like this song, hon~” Cerise laughed, making sure he would be able to hear it through the door. “Oh, who am I kidding, of course you would!’ And that marked the start of a three-hour loop of the song Secret Agent Man.

He ignored her at first, chuckling a little at how cute she was and then grumbling at himself for thinking that. After a few rounds of the song, he was starting to get irritated. Then the first hour passed, and he tried working out again, but that didn’t help. Next, he attempted to listen to music with his earbuds in for the second hour, but that wasn’t working, because now he could still hear the song in his head. Finally, the third hour rolled around, and he unlocked the door, opening it and pointing towards the door to the hotel hallway. “Turn that God damn music off, and you can leave. Please leave.”

Cerise had heard him shuffling around and walked over to the door. Was he finally unlocking it? Her suspicions were confirmed when she saw his figure appear in the doorway, looking incredibly irritated, his eyebrow twitching like crazy. She did feel a little bad, but she’d won her freedom fair and square, mostly. He didn’t have to tell her twice before she scooped up her phone and left out the door with a song songy “See ya, Vandy!” Cerise didn’t trust herself or anyone around enough to actually leave the hotel, but there was a bar attached. Maybe she could go and meander around there? She certainly wasn’t going to that horrible diner restaurant again. It didn’t take her long to find the bar, the ‘bouncer’ seeming to have dozed off, allowing her to easily get in. Much to her delight, the place was lively. This would do well in curing her boredom for now.

It hadn’t taken long before she got multiple requests to buy her a drink, which she rejected. She wasn’t dumb enough to accept a drink from any random person in there. She wandered around the bar area, honey gold eyes sweeping the place. There were men and women everywhere of all shapes and sizes, the rug a slightly different pattern than the one on the floor of the hotel, and the lights much dimmer. It wasn’t a dance bar by any means, which was a little sad, but she didn’t have her dance pants anyway, and she wasn’t about to allow for any accidental up-skirt pictures. The bar itself was your standard type, a hardwood bar top and the typical barstools. There were tables with chairs all around the place too, but for now, she was staying away from that in favor of the bartender who was calling her over to have a seat at the bar.

“I’ll make you something on the house, if you promise not to tell my boss, that is.” He seemed nice enough, and at least she could watch him make the drink too. Cerise gave him her signature wink. “I won’t tell if you don’t!” It was always best not to accept drinks from sleazy guys unless they were buying it for you right at the bar, and it went straight into your own hands. She kept a close eye on him, making sure he wasn’t doing anything fishy. He was decent looking enough and deserved something for his efforts in wooing her, right? “So, are you here with anyone?” The light flirting she was giving him was of course making it easier for him to bring up conversation, and she didn’t falter in coming up with the backstory Vanderwood had given her. “Just a family friend, showing me around Korea. I’ve been in France and only just got back.”

He nodded, and she noted the way his smile seemed to get a little bigger. So, he probably thought he was getting somewhere. Cerise was really only being polite, but she did enjoy the attention, at least when her lack of filter wasn’t making her internally scream. As he handed the drink to her, he was about to ask her for her number, but instead his eyes grew wide as this tiny woman downed the drink with seemingly no effort. Cerise uttered a thanks and was off again, taking in the scenery of the place a little more, the mass of plants that seemed to get thicker and more…foresty, the deeper she walked into the place.

Weaving through the crowd of people, she came across this rather large and burly man who was loudly boasting that nobody would be able to out drink him. Well…they’d see about that, wouldn’t they? “Excuse me?” Cerise approached him with a smile, and the crowd around him stilled from grumbles to incredulous whispers. “I’d like to challenge you.” Instantly the man, along with his buddies, began laughing, obviously thinking that she was joking, causing her to pout. “I’m serious, you know!” Cerise stared the man down, a fierce look in her eyes that actually made him, as well as his buddies, quiet down.

The biker gulped a little. Damn, this tiny lady had a lot of fire in her. He motioned for her to sit down. “Okay, girly. But if I win…” He thought about it for a moment before a chuckle escaped him. “If I win, you have to go on a date with me.” Now it was Cerise’s turn to laugh. “You won’t win though. When I win, you have to buy everyone here a drink.” The man had a twinkle in his eyes, his rosy red cheeks not indicative of blushing, but he had the cash and now the crowd was excited for this little gal to win more than for him. Well then. A good challenge indeed.

For a few minutes, Vanderwood had just lied in bed, praising, for once, whatever God existed for mercy once the song stopped playing in his head. How long had he even been lying there? That’s when he realized what he’d done. He’d let Cerise out without him. Cerise who had a target on her back thanks to him. Cerise who might have been grabbed by a pimp in this very hotel if it wasn’t for him. This was not okay. Vanderwood was immediately panicking, far more than he usually would when he’d made a mistake.  He had to find her quickly and make sure she was safe.

As he left the hotel room, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Vanderwood had promised to protect her, and he meant to, no matter how confusing his feelings were for her or how much she annoyed the crap out of him. She didn’t deserve to get hurt just because he was an ass. Granted, her little game had been…still, he shouldn’t have fallen for it. He was supposed to be keeping her safe.

Vanderwood made his way down the stairs of the hotel, trying to gauge where she would go. Hopefully she was still in the hotel. Since she’d mentioned earlier that she didn’t want to leave it, there was a good chance. He figured that she wouldn’t go to the restaurant again, but the only other thing this hotel had was…the bar. The bar. His heart stilled. She could get into a Hell of a lot of trouble in a bar. He was quick to find it, slipping past the ‘bouncer’ and curling his lip in disgust at the sleeping form. What a useless prick, sleeping on the job. Now his eyes scanned the bar area, hard to do thanks to the swathe of other bodies.

Apparently, it was more difficult to find a peach-haired petite shorty in the crowd than he had anticipated. As long as she was here and not out of the hotel…She had to be here. Panic was making his heart race and his body feel colder the more he had to search. Cerise made it so hard for him to think, and it made all the sense in the world to him why you weren’t allowed to be attached to people in the agency. He needed to stop and breathe. A slow and deep breath was hard to take in the midst of panic, but he managed, and once he had, it was much easier to scan the room. That’s when he heard her voice over a throng of people and laughter as he made his way into the more foliaged area of the bar. ‘I’m serious, you know!’

What was she doing? Vanderwood had to push through a crowd of people to finally see her…challenging a man who looked like he was from a biker gang to a drinking match. He was there in a flash, his hand on her shoulder. “We are going back upstairs. Now.” His eyebrow was twitching up a storm and he gave everyone a look, his normally bright brown eyes dark and dangerous as they met the eyes of the burly man who had stood as though to start something with him, the look causing the man to slowly sit back down.

Cerise had jumped at the hand on her shoulder and now turned to look up at him. “Vanderwood?” She thought she had irritated him enough to at least give her a few hours out. Vanderwood wasn’t really paying attention to her as he swept Cerise over his shoulder as effortlessly as he had in the hotel room, taking her out of the bar. Cerise protested, struggling against him to no avail “Hey! This isn’t fair, you said I could go out!” She stopped struggling when she realized it was getting her nowhere and just groaned the entire time until he finally placed her on her feet again once they reached the stairs.

Vanderwood was the first to speak, his voice rather grim and dark. “I’ll take you somewhere tomorrow. Just. No. Bars.” Everything in him felt tight and angry. How could he have made a mistake like that? He didn’t even want to think about what a bunch of drunk men could have done to her. That had him thinking what he wanted to do to her. Now he was just disgusted with himself in every way a person could imagine. He needed a fuck, and he needed it bad, or he was going to go insane, but he wasn’t going to make it her. Cerise was just glowering at him, feeling mildly irritated herself. The promise of going somewhere the next day hadn’t even seemed to help. He’d begun to start up the stairs, but she was now running up ahead of him, a few steps above him, putting them at eye level. “You know, I could have taken that guy.”

His eyebrow twitched and he bit at his tongue, a sharp and angry inhale before he started to gripe at her, like he’d done on many an occasion with Seven and Caleb, the very few. “And tell me, Cerise, what exactly would you have done when he and his drunk friends decided they wanted to take you home? What would you have done if one of those drunkards decided he wanted to find out what you look like naked?” He lived in a world of scumbags, sociopaths, and murderers. At least two of those categories included himself. Vanderwood was absolutely pissed at himself, and now the flood gates of anger had opened.

It was far too easy to pick her up and press her against the wall. “You cannot tell me, that you can take them, that you would have been fine on your own.” He’d been trying to make a point about her physical strength in comparison to his and to those men, but…even the look of surprise on her face didn’t register for him now. Her face was so close, and he was so done. Vanderwood kissed her hard, the unrelenting and emotionless kind he was used to, not even in control of what he was doing, but just searching for relief.

God fucking damn it. No. No, no no. Guilt and shame flooded him like a dam had broken, and he felt sick to his stomach. This wasn’t what he wanted at all. It took him a moment still before he could break away, and that only made it worse. Now he was just stuck staring at her in disbelief. What had he done? He’d treated her like one of his whores and it felt like his heart was actually collapsing in on itself. She deserved so much more than that, so much more than him. He loved her too much to want that for her. Love? What was even happening right now?

Cerise hadn’t let her glare falter except for just a brief moment of surprise when he’d picked her up. She was pissed, and it only got worse from there. His kiss sent an entire shock through her system that her brain couldn’t quite catch up with. He hadn’t been gentle at all…Was he trying to teach her a lesson? About how easy it would be for someone to just take what they wanted from her? What a shitty way to demonstrate. And now he was just staring at her? What did he want her to say? ‘Oh, you have a point, I see the error of my ways now, please lock me back up?’ When she was finally out of her confused daze, she frowned, speaking in a calm voice, despite how angry she was. “Take me back to my room. Now.” She would have just gone herself, but he was the one with the key card.

Vanderwood didn’t say anything. There was nothing to say. He just put her down, walking silently to the room and letting her in. Everything was crushing in on him. More than anything, he wanted to apologize, tell her he hadn’t meant for that to happen, that she deserved better. The words wouldn’t come, and besides that, he needed to get away from her for now, relax, get himself under control, if he even could. Any trust she’d had for him was probably gone now. He realized that he was staring at her closed door. She’d slammed it as she went into the room.

Cerise was curled up hugging the fluffiest pillow she could find, her head buried in it. She felt like she wanted to cry, but she wasn’t going to allow herself to. “What made him think that was okay…” Now she mumbled to herself before flopping onto her back and picking up her phone, trying to occupy herself. She found that even that wasn’t making her feel any better. Sighing, she brought her fingers to her lips…That had been the first time she’d ever been kissed…and it had been wasted on some stupid lesson. “Jerk…”

After he’d finally bothered to enter his own room, Vanderwood just sat on the ground, placing his back against her door. Why couldn’t he control himself? Even with her. She was the most wonderful thing he’d had in his life for years. Cerise made him feel more than he had in years. He’d known he hadn’t had a chance with her, shouldn’t even have thought of the option, knowing what he did of himself. He simply didn’t deserve her and couldn’t have her, but it still hurt beyond reason that he had hurt her. How many hours passed? Maybe it was just minutes? Vanderwood took off his leather gloves, gently tracing the crisscrossing scars along his hand. “Cerise…?” His voice sounded foreign to him after so much silence, but he had to apologize for what he’d done.

Like this? Want more? Become a Patron ~Let’s Connect! FFC

Tagged Chapter Directory

[fanfictionconnectionwordpress]

Mystic Messenger Fanfiction | Tagged - VanderwoodxOC Cerise | Ch. 2 The Long Road Begins

***It's about to get Hella intense in here, so everybody buckle up. Also, you should totally get your hands on the new Drawl Backstory available to patrons only.

Don’t forget to subscribe to the email list for access to R-Rated Scenes and my monthly newsletter. You can support my writing on patreon and get access to my VIP Discord Server or other goodies like early chapter releases and hidden scenes. ~Let’s Connect! FFC Tagged Chapter Directory***

Why could he never get a full night’s sleep? Vanderwood had of course trained himself to be a light sleeper, so clearly that was why, but it never ceased to annoy him just how often something would wake him at night. This time it was his phone buzzing like crazy. He rolled over to grab it, expecting it to be from boss, only to unlock the screen to find a slurry of texts, screenshots of photos of him, and one with Cerise with him in the background.

His internal dialogue was Fuck. She had been taking photos after all. He’d noticed but had completely forgotten about it again, a huge mistake. The screenshots themselves weren’t the worst of it. There were comments from the unknown sender. ‘She’s got such pretty eyes, pity if I were to pour acid into them?’ ‘Look at those fingers, just begging to be bent back.’ ‘This is what you get for getting attached, Vanderhottie.’

Vanderwood felt sick, but instantly he knew who these messages were from. Drawl. (Get Drawl Backstory by becoming a patron.) He was up and getting changed in mere seconds, running out of the room to grab one of Seven’s keys, not bothering to take the time to ask. If Drawl had Cerise…he didn’t want to think about it, and he certainly didn’t have much time. The guy was a sociopath. From the information the agency had, he’d even murdered his own family just to become an agent for the rival agency. (insert Drawl hidden scene backstory) What was worse, Vanderwood had shot the guy in the shoulder and completely shattered it. Drawl wasn’t exactly known for being forgiving.

He was panicking, speeding down the highway to the address Drawl had screenshotted from Cerise’s geotags. This was all his fault, and he couldn’t let her get hurt. Cerise was just a civilian, one that wasn’t supposed to be involved in this shit at all, but look how the cookies had crumbled. She shouldn’t have been in his life for even a second.

***

Drawl smirked, this was going to be so much fun. Vanderwood deserved it too. It had taken months for Drawl’s shattered shoulder to heal. The lock was easy to pick, nothing to it. Such a nice little apartment Vanderwood’s sweetie had. The girl wasn’t hard to find, sleeping soundly in her bed.

Well, she had been sleeping soundly until Drawl pressed his hand down over her mouth and nose, watching her struggle for air for a while. All Cerise knew was that she could not breathe. She struggled against her attacker, and she so desperately wanted to scream, but couldn’t. He was feeling his pants grow tight from the image. Watching the panic, seeing the life leave a woman’s eyes was always great, oh, it was great. He disappointedly removed his hand from her face to allow her to grab some gasps of air as he pressed a knife against her side to keep her still and under his control.

Cerise wasn’t sure how long she was deprived of air, but it seemed like an eternity. As soon as the hand came off, she gasped for air, breathing heavily. Her blood ran cold, senses coming back to her once she felt the cold touch of the blade against her side. Normally she would fight, but there was nothing she could do with a knife pressed against her. She had only just started breathing again, but she was choked with fear now.

He wasn’t a weak man, far from it. Some likened him to a chimp or an orangutan because of his thick body and square features. Still, it was easier if they didn’t fight him openly, and much more fun to watch them struggle aimlessly. The fear in their eyes was always most intoxicating. It was just unfortunate that he couldn’t feel their soft skin anymore, thanks to the way his acids had burned away the sensations in his fingers. It was well worth it to have acid covered blades to cut with. That always kept them from bleeding out.

His slow and deliberate tone as he bent to mutter in the girl’s ear gave away the reason for his nickname. “Hello, sweetheart, we’re going to play a game.” That voice, even just the sound of her attacker speaking was enough to make her feel nauseous. Drawl took his time in tying her up, Cerise struggling lightly. It wouldn’t do her any good, she was too small to do any real damage to the man.

Right now, the only thing she could do was observe him, as much as even his person was repulsive. His dark black hair was a greasy mess, peppered with gray although he didn’t look old. Even his eyes were black, glinting with an intent that made her entire body feel cold. Now he was sitting on the edge of her couch, playing with the point of his knife against his thumb. Just his clothes were enough to make someone uncomfortable, an oversized puke green jacket, brown pants, and black combat boots clearly meant to make him appear taller. The man’s skin was a dark brown, but his hands were discolored as well as discolored splotches on his wrists.

Drawl’s voice broke her observation, making her whimper. “Do you think your Vanderhottie will come quickly enough to save your pretty little lips? I might just cut them off…and he’d never get to kiss them then, would he?” Who was this guy even talking about Vander…oh. The man from earlier. She started to cry and plead. “No, I really don’t know him, please. My…my parents are rich…is…is it money you want?” Now she was sobbing, her voice broken. Cerise wished that she would have just listened to her parents and stayed in France where it was safe.

He snorted at the girl. She thought money mattered. Although, he was disappointed when she said she really didn’t know Vanderwood. The one good thing was that Vanderwood was the kind of guy who would do anything to protect a civilian, so he’d still come. The revenge wouldn’t be nearly as sweet, but he could always have his way with the girl afterwards. His slow voice held a snide tone as he replied to her desperate pleas. “Money doesn’t matter to me. I have plenty. Revenge, blood, people screaming in fear, that’s what I like. Speaking of…” He took out his phone and snapped a photo, captioning it ‘Hurry.’

***

His phone was buzzing again; he was almost there. It seemed like it was taking far too long to get there, even driving as fast as he was. Vanderwood risked checking his phone and his heart was at his feet, fear like a living thing in his chest. Seeing Cerise like that…This was his fault, and he had to get there in time to keep her from getting hurt. If she’s not already. The thought had him practically pressing the accelerator to the floor.

***

This had to be a dream…These kinds of things just didn’t happen in real life. Only on TV. She was brought back to reality as her attacker approached her, pressing the cool metal of his knife against her throat, a light burning sensation accompanying it. “I think I hear our Vanderhottie friend…” Drawl’s typically slow voice was dragging out even more as his smile spread wide. Cerise didn’t dare to make a noise or even to breathe too hard, fearful for her throat and her life.

Vanderwood realized quickly as he parked that his taser would do him no good since Drawl’s weapon of choice was also close range. He reached under the driver’s seat to grab the emergency gun stashed there. Thankfully, there was on in each of Seven’s cars as well as the ones he had on his own body. As soon as he had the weapon, Vanderwood nearly jumped out of the vehicle, kicking her door open, allowing him to keep use of his weapon, quickly scanning the room to point it at Drawl. Cerise desperately wanted to feel relieved as soon as she saw the source of the crashing, but there was still a knife to her throat, making her panic.

That knife against her throat had Vanderwood panicking every bit as much as she was. It was an unfamiliar feeling to him, true panic. He hadn’t felt fear like that in years. It nearly had him doing something rash, but he couldn’t afford to have feelings right now. “Leave her the fuck alone. She’s got nothing to do with me or you.” He was angry, pissed really, wanted to beat Drawl into a bloody pulp, but he had to get his hands on the smiling bastard first. “Didn’t you hear me? Get the fuck away from her. She’s a civilian, you ass.”

Drawl still wasn’t moving. He just kept smiling more and more, watching like he liked to. Vanderwood realized that clearly this wasn’t working. The feelings swirling around inside of him had his muscles taught and tensed, and they weren’t helping his focus. He took a deep breath, shoving them away. Finally, he looped the gun around his thumb, pulling his taser out of his pocket with his other hand to drop it to the floor. “Just step away from her, and you can have me. That’s what you want. You know you can’t touch her without your agency punishing you.”

Now Drawl finally moved, pulling away from Cerise to stand and approach Vanderwood. Cerise felt like she could finally breathe again once the knife was away from her throat, but all she could do now was watch the scene in front of her unfold, unable to move. She felt so useless, she couldn’t even call the authorities. That gave her an idea. She glanced over at her nightstand. Good, her phone was still there. Her attacker was advancing towards Vanderwood as she attempted to wiggle free from the rope binding her.

“I guess you are right…as much as I’d love to scar that pretty little skin.” The man’s voice made her skin crawl as she continued to attempt to reach her phone. Drawl was approaching Vanderwood warily. He was too short to reach the gun looped around Vanderwood’s thumb, so Vanderwood had to lower it for him. Drawl pressed his blade against the lower left side of the taller man’s abdomen, letting it press in just slightly, using his blade again for some leverage. Cerise had looked over from her attempts just in time to see it, causing her to gasp in surprise. Still, Vanderwood seemed to be taking it well enough.

The only reaction Vanderwood gave was a sharp intake of breath as the blade pierced him, acid burning and instantly cauterizing the wound. He knew what he needed to do. Although Vanderwood wasn’t fast, Drawl was even slower, and he was able to grab the man’s wrist, letting the blade press in even farther in favor of grabbing Drawl’s throat, squeezing his wrist until Drawl couldn’t hold on to the knife anymore. It clattered to the floor as Vanderwood applied the same treatment to his neck. Cerise had never seen anything like this, and she watched as he gained the upper hand over her attacker. She wanted to look away, she really did, but she couldn’t take her eyes off the scene. Then the man went limp in Vanderwood’s grasp. Was he dead?

Vanderwood grimaced at Drawl as he dropped him onto the ground. The creep’s smile hadn’t faltered the entire time. He didn’t have much time now, knowing that Drawl had a partner. How had he even been alone here in the first place? It didn’t matter; time was of the essence. Vanderwood moved to untie Cerise, and that was what finally made her able to tear her eyes away from the scene, jumping a little at his voice, even though it was far more welcome than the voice of the other man. “I’m not going to hurt you, alright? But you’re going to have to trust me, because I need to get you out of here.” He was trying to keep his tone as calm and even as possible, even though he was irritated and panicked beyond belief. She wasn’t used to these kinds of experiences, so he had to be gentle. “If Drawl was here, backup isn’t far behind, so we need to leave fast.” Cerise nodded, her voice still shaky. “O-okay…” As soon as she was free from the ropes, she made a grab for her phone, yanking the charger out of the wall.

Irritation was very much his enemy at the moment as he snorted at that damn phone of hers. He was going to have to take it from her later, but now he needed to get them out of there. “The black car outside, get in.” His tone was brusque because it had to be. Drawl needed to be dealt with permanently, and it was always his disgusting job to take care of that. Vanderwood grabbed the gun and taser before returning to look down at Drawl’s limp body.

She did as she was told, not wanting to stick around and tempt fate. Cerise shivered as she felt the nighttime winter air hit her skin, making her way to the black car and quickly hopping in. Her bare feet felt like ice cubes. Was she really going to let this stranger take her away from her apartment? He had just saved her life, even if it sounded like he’d been somewhat the reason she was in trouble anyway, but she trusted him. She had to…and there was just something about him that she couldn’t quite shake.

Vanderwood was bending down to finish the job when he heard it, the sound of another vehicle’s brakes grinding the car to a halt. Damn it. He was out of time. Vanderwood ran out of the house to see Jessica on the way out of her car. He flipped her off before hopping into his, putting pedal to the metal. “Hang on, Cerise.” There wasn’t even time to put his seatbelt on before they were peeling off away from the scene.

Cerise held on to the ceiling handle tightly as soon as he’d gotten into the car, although she hadn’t managed to put her seatbelt on either. He was driving like a bat out of Hell, but she couldn’t really complain. She just wanted away from the man that had attacked her, silently staring out of the window and trying to make sense of everything in her head.

He was focused on getting away and to Seven’s garage, running through an action plan as he went. They would need to switch cars and head out of town to lie low somewhere. She was in far more danger than any civilian ever should be, and there was a lot of guilt there, but he didn’t have time for it right now. Thankfully, his go bag was already in the red car, so they could switch over pretty quickly. His eyes searched the rearview mirror to see that no one was tailing them, allowing him to slow down and drive far more legally.

She was quiet, reflective even, as he watched her from the corner of his eyes. This was probably the biggest shock of her life, and he had done this to her. Cerise was thinking, why her? What luck was this? Her phone made her jump when she felt it vibrate in her lap. Vanderwood watched as she put in her pass code and immersed herself in the world of what he assumed was social media. Her fingers were tapping at her phone’s screen at an alarming speed. She was clearly freaked out, it was only too obvious. On one side, he wanted to destroy her phone since it and his stupidity had gotten them into this mess, but on the other, it seemed to be helping her, somewhat of an escape, which he only understood all too well.

He sighed and bit his tongue before he began to speak, feeling like the words needed to be said, like he was compelled to comfort her. “I’m sorry…I got you into this. But I’ll keep you safe, I swear to God, I will.” He felt like complete shit for doing this to her, and although he didn’t trust any God, he would swear to all of them just to make the point to her that he was going to protect her. She was under his protection now, even though she shouldn’t have had to be.

Cerise looked up when Vanderwood spoke, not really knowing how to respond. Keep her safe? Were there more of those creeps…? “Are they…will they just leave you…us alone?” He had to shake his head at her question, as much as he wished he could just drop her off back at home and she would be fine, it simply wasn’t the case. “We’re going to have to go on the run until I can backtrack them or they find us, and I terminate them. Undoubtedly, Drawl’s got a hit out on me now…the guy that attacked you. I didn’t have time to take care of him before his partner showed up.”

Take care of him? So, the guy wasn’t dead, but Vanderwood had intended to kill him. The thought made her shiver more than the cool air did. Vanderwood thought that all of that was probably terrifying enough to listen to, and he didn’t want her to be afraid of him, but it felt wrong not to be honest. She had her eyes trained on him, listening intently as he talked. “I’m a secret agent. They’re from a rival agency. They found pictures of you and me on the internet and used the geotags to find you. So…until they’re dead, I’m going to take care of you.” It wasn’t up for debate, not that he thought she was going to argue.

Vanderwood pulled into Seven’s garage. It only made sense that Cerise was terrified, and he was going to need to be a little gentler than his usual to make her able to trust him, so he did his best not to sound gruff, as much as he was tense and frustrated. “Stay in this car until I say to move, alright?”

Cerise couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt as she thought over what he’d said, staying in the car as he’d instructed and fiddling with her phone to pass the time. The pictures…this was her fault. It’s not like she knew that he was a secret agent, though, that wasn’t something that came up in real life…being tied up by a psycho, running into secret agents. Did that mean…she had to be on the run for a while? With him? In any normal circumstance, she’d be all for a road trip…and with a cute guy, no less. This wasn’t that situation, though.

He tried not to take too long as he went inside to exchange keys, grabbing the ones for the red car. Vanderwood harshly woke Seven and explained the situation, getting the kid to begrudgingly agree to loan him the red car mostly because they didn’t have much time to figure out anything else. Then Vanderwood returned to the garage, opening the door for her. “Alright, we’re moving to the red car.” He offered his hand to help her out. It was hurting him so badly that this was happening. She was just a normal person; she wasn’t a part of this, and he’d made her a part of it.  

She hesitated before taking his hand, letting him help her out of the car. As soon as her bare feet hit the cold concrete she remembered again that she hadn’t grabbed shoes…or clothes for that matter. Clutching her phone, she looked down. Yep. Still in her pajamas. In the wintertime. Good job, Cerise! She wanted to slap herself for not thinking to at least grab her coat by the door.

Vanderwood finally took stock of her clothes when he saw her react to the cold concrete floor and heat instantly went up into his face. She wasn’t even his ‘type’ and yet his heart was doing gymnastics as he looked at her. Her ‘pajamas’ were just a pink flowy tank top and shorts combination, the top not quite fully covering her midriff. His face turned bright red as he took off his jacket and draped It over her shoulders gently. “Wear this until the car heats up…” The red-faced agent opened the passenger side of the red vehicle for her. “I’ll get you some new clothes to wear once we get to the next town.” He’d also need to take care of her damn phone, sooner rather than later.

His jacket was huge on her, as well as heavy. It might as well have been a blanket, but she was grateful for it either way. She wrapped it around herself as she got into the other car. “Thanks.” The promise of new clothes was another thing she was grateful for. Cerise definitely didn’t want to be seen in public with just her pajamas on…even if she did look amazingly cute in them. Still not something she should be seen in public in.

Once he’d helped her into the car, Vanderwood got in and started it up, letting it get going on warming up. They didn’t have a lot of time before he was certain the rival agency would have people watching traffic cam footage and potentially trailing them, but the geotags on her social media needed to be turned off before she had the chance to post again. She needed a new ip address too. “I need you to hand me your phone.” Vanderwood was gentle and matter of fact about it as he held out his hand expectantly.

“My phone…?” She stared at him blankly. He wanted her phone? That wasn’t going to happen. Her phone was a part of her, and she wasn’t about to hand it over to someone she barely knew. “You mean this?” Cerise kept eye contact with him as she pulled her phone into his eyesight, letting him get a good look at it before defiantly shoving the phone into her shorts, beneath the strap of her panties. If he wanted her phone, he was going to have to work for it.

Holy Jesus his face was red, and he felt like a complete mess. There was no way he could put his hand down her shorts. Hell, he wasn’t even sure with as irritated as he was that he could control himself right now. That defiance was…sexy…coming from this cute little lady, and he had to shut down his brain. Vanderwood coughed softly, shaking his head to clear it of any dirty thoughts before he could explain, trying to reason with her. “I need to give you a new one, and in order to move all your information to the new one, I’m going to need the old one. Need to turn off your geotags too. So, you give me the phone, or they find us. Every second we wait, the more danger we’re in.” Hopefully that would be enough to get through to her on some level.

“I don’t want a new one. Find another way.” Cerise huffed and turned her head away from him, crossing her arms. She knew that judging by how red he had turned, he wasn’t about to reach into her shorts to grab her phone. If he was that serious about it, he would find another way around it, because there was no way in Hell she was giving anyone her phone. She may be in danger, but her phone was her life.  

Vanderwood internally groaned. Cerise was going to test his patience during this whole situation, he had a feeling. She looked cute, but she was definitely a lot more than that. “And I don’t want to die.” He had to think fast on how he could get her to agree willingly. Her phone seemed pretty new, but hadn’t a new model just come out? He seemed to remember Seven going on about the new capabilities of some smart phone. “How about, I buy you any model phone you want, with whatever accessories?” That would probably peak her interest.

He was right. That caught her attention, and she whipped her head back to him. “…any model?” If he really meant that…she was going to go for the newer model of her phone that had just come out a few days prior. Cerise wasn’t able to get it due to budgeting, and she wanted to show her parents that she could be responsible with her money. Well…not that she’d have to worry about that now since her purse was still at her apartment. She pulled her phone back out and handed it to him, lingering for a moment before she left her most prized possession with a total stranger. This must be what mothers feel like when they leave their child in a daycare…”You win…but you better make good on that promise.” She narrowed her eyes at him, crossing her arms again as though making a point.

That whole time he’d had to sit patiently and wait for her to deliberate while her phone was right there for the taking. It wasn’t like him to be bashful with women, and he was anxious to get moving, but he just couldn’t do that with her. He rationalized to himself that it was because he knew he needed her trust. Finally, she handed it over. “I will, right after we get you some different clothes, we’ll get you a phone.”

As soon as he took her phone from her, his face grew red again. Even through his leather gloves, he could feel that her phone was warm from having been in her shorts. He coughed softly and got to work, grabbing a throw away from the glove compartment, easy enough to do when one’s arms were as long as his were. She was short enough that opening the compartment didn’t threaten her knees too, thankfully. After hooking the phones up to each other, he transferred everything before going through her apps, turning all of the geotags off. She had a shit ton of them, it was insane. Then he handed the throw away phone to her. “You can use this until we can get your new one. This one…” He wiggled her old phone. “Is getting thrown out the window on the way out of town. Buckle up.”

Cerise grimaced at the plain phone he had given her. It was so…ugly and undecorated. “This isn’t cute at all…” She complained as she held it at arm’s length, examining it. When he mentioned throwing her phone out of the window, she winced, but it was for the better if she wanted a brand-new phone. Cerise would just have to deal with it, not think about it. She could do this. She could. Cerise buckled her seat belt and waited for them to leave. The car was getting warmer, which she was thankful for, and his jacket certainly helped.

Vanderwood mumbled what was meant to be an internal thought, thankful that it was hopefully quiet enough that she didn’t overhear. “Nowhere near as cute as you.” What the Hell was he doing flirting with her? He pulled out of Seven’s garage, heading on the way out of town. As he drove, he watched her out of the corner of his eyes. Cerise frowned at his mumbling. If he had something to say, he should say it, but she didn’t bother to say what she was thinking either, too worn out to care.

After a little while, Vanderwood deigned to speak, not sure why he wanted to. Small talk wasn’t exactly something he was very good at or used to. “I’m sorry if the jacket smells.” He’d been smoking so long that he was used to his own smell, but she probably wasn’t. Although he was very careful to keep his jacket clean and cared for, it probably had at least some residual scent of cigarettes. Cerise just shook her head before resting it against the window. “It’s not bad…” Her answer ended with a yawn. His jacket did smell a little like cigarette smoke, but she could tell that he took care of it.

The two of them sat in silence for a while, him watching her and her too tired to even check the phone or any of her social medias. Vanderwood was thinking just how incredibly beautiful she was…and how incredibly stupid it was for him to be thinking about that. This was going to be difficult for him. She made him feel way different than any other woman, and that might not bode well for staying unattached, even if he was convinced that it was just part of his sex addiction not having been assuaged for a while. At any rate, his job wouldn’t allow attachment, and it wasn’t like he hadn’t gotten her in enough trouble already, so Vanderwood was going to do his best to have as little contact with her as he could manage. Just enough to keep her safe. He also couldn’t report that he was with her at all. No, he was alone.

Cerise was exhausted, both physically and mentally, and this man went through all of that to rescue her, so she had no reason to believe he was of any threat, allowing her to relax for the time being. By now the car was toasty, and she pulled her legs up in the seat so she could cover herself completely in his jacket before she let sleep finally claim her.

She looked so small and peaceful sleeping curled up like that. He felt a strange tightness in his chest looking at her wrapped up in his jacket. Vanderwood realized that he should focus on the road, essentially giving himself tunnel vision other than checking the rearview mirrors for anyone potentially tailing them. Once they were about halfway to the next town, he tossed her phone out of the window and onto the side of the road. It wouldn’t be terribly long before they made it to the next town, but it felt like he had a long road ahead of him, at least figuratively.

Like this? Want more? Become a Patron ~Let’s Connect! FFC

Tagged Chapter Directory