#vanya is not an uwu cottage core lesbian she is NEEDY from jennifer's body COMBINED WITH JENNIFER LOL

[delusionland]

vanya write-up:

the hargreeves are not good people. we love them, for their dysfunction---for their soap opera drama---but everywhere they go, the destruction of the universe follows. and it’s not just vanya, loathe as the siblings are to admit it. it’s all of them. but the way the universe seeks to destroy the hargreeves at every turn, a kind of ‘constant state of apocalyptic soap opera flux’ because of the time bearu and fate & alien puppeteering----vanya is the most interesting to me.

because all the hargreeves think very little is their fault, loathe as they are to admit it. their father bred into them very little sense of empathy for the world around them (with the exception of diego and klaus) and/or even each other---their mistakes are products of their upbringng, they think. even when they’re self-aware, even when they’re joking about their trauma, they have never dealt with themselves and their effect on the world around them, and it shows. even diego and klaus feel completely removed from the world at large. they are superpowered ALIEN GODS and, even worse, FABULOUSLY WEALTHY CHILD CELEBRITIES. 

they do not understand how to be normal everyday people, because they can’t be. even klaus & diego’s connections with the outside world are fraught in terms of willful voluntary dissociation (klaus’ drug use) and co-dependent patterns of self-sacrificial protector / protectee in diego’s own brand of heroism. even when they try to get better---when they try to be a part of the world---they mess up, they fuck up, they SOMETIMES try to get better---but they still have a chip on their shoulder that says ‘daddy fucked me up and now i’m a perpetual fuck up that doesn’t WANT TO BE HERE facing my actual soap opera apocalypse problems i’d much rather be pretending they don’t exist while also taking them for granted and accepting them as a normal part of my life that i can never change.’

why is vanya the most interesting, then? because she, unlike the rest of them, was never tortured, was never branded, was never a celebrity to the same extent, and did not even realize her powers because of brainwashing to believe herself inferior to her siblings and mediocre in every possible way, even in art, even in feelings---and it gave her a near-universal victim complex, that causes her to hurt other people, and pretend she’s not hurting them, that she’s actuallly in the right, that she’s the SENSIBLE one, she’s the NORMAL one, she knows what she’s doing, because she’s just AVERAGE and that means she’s OBJECTIVE, and even when she’s technically worse than them---she knows BETTER.

vanya canonically has a rage bubbling beneath the surface, anxieties, extremely powerful feelings and the ability to change and destroy, that she is numbing with prescription medication that she probably EXTREMELY needs to quell the rage in her heart.

she was KILLING WOMEN who just wanted to take care of her, AS A CHILD. none of the others were killing people they weren’t TOLD to kill. she has no understanding of the worth of people’s life until she’s an adult---and even then, she still hurts people, knowing what their life means, until she is literally willing to destroy the universe, turning off what little empathy she has gained in order to be the most special & interesting & ARTISTIC FINAL one-night-only one-woman show as a last plead for her family to go ‘you’re so SPECIAL, VANYA! YOU’RE SO COOL!’

she’s an artist at trying to make you feel bad for her. she’s an artist at ‘look at me : ( please look at me. i’m so sad even though i’m going to try to be there for you---and make it about how good i am : ) because i want to be good so bad : ) i’m just a girl... who wants a sister... i’m just a girl... who wants to be part of a family... even though i weaponized their trauma against them... to finally, just for once, be the center of attention.... and it didn’t even last very long... because the book wasn’t GOOD... because i am physically stopped by the laws of the universe from figuring out how to be a good writer’

like vanya has done BAD THINGS even before she ended the world. talking about her family’s trauma in such a public way without their permission is INEXCUSABLE. there are so many steps you have to take to publish a book like that, so many ways you have to go, i see that they are hurting, and i am going to LITERALLY profit off of that.

vanya WANTED to hurt them. some part of her felt they DESERVED it.

even denying herself all her rage until it left her the catatonic center of attention---vanya is essentailly violent, and is always dealing with the same lack of empathy her siblings are.

vanya has no friends, no relationships, except her siblings. she cannot function as a person JUST THE SAME WAY THEY CAN’T, and she blames THEM for it.

vanya is not an innocent little uwu cottagecore lesbian! she never saw kindness as a child except from a MONKEY and a robot she claimed was just an extension of her terrible father and who she LITERALLY tried to murder and she does not understand human relationships, and her brainwashed inferiority complex, plus the medication dampening her senses & emotions without changing the root cause of her problems... makes her so, so much worse.