#verse ; flicker flicker ; private canon au

[caracarnn-archive]

@luckhissoul​ THIS HURT TO WRITE AND NOW I HATE YOU this is our worst idea​

He doesn’t know how long he’s been sitting there staring out the window, watching the way that the farm seemed to pass by in a crawl. Birds descended and then flapped away. Sheep bleated and the longer that he sat, the more he felt things beginning to become distant. He stared and stared and nothing at all became clearer. It was pointless. It was nothing but a mirage of the world that Rand al’Thor had once lived in. A mirage that wouldn’t clear no matter how long he hoped for its return to how it had once been. He remembers being a boy here, tending the farm with his father. He remembers growing up and thinking of Egwene as he laid out by that tall oak, plucking petals off a flower. He remembers running these fields with Mat and Perrin. He had been whole here. He had been alive. But now - now what was he? He had been just a young man when he had watched Egwene leave The Two Rivers with a parade of Aes Sedai. She had been gone years and Rand had felt her absence keenly. She had written only a few times and now never. Now she was Amyrlin. Now she was Egwene al’Vere, The Watcher of the Seals, The Flame of Tar Valon, the Amyrlin Seat. And she had Gentled him.

Remembering that he could Channel was like remembering a breath that had been stolen from his lungs and never given back. He felt a ghost. He was no longer the boy that had lived here, or the young man that had loved her. He was no longer living with that excitable fear of being able to Channel, finding it out mere weeks after she had left. He did not know what he was, only that he was something. He could find memories, he understood his place and his name and why he was still alive. A reminder. A symbol of what happens to men who dared to Channel. And how those thoughts burned.

Watching his father now he aches to go out and join him and yet getting up felt like moving a million broken things at once. He makes a low noise in his throat when he feels something pass over his mouth, startling to the moment and looking up at the one whose hand that belonged. He hadn’t realized the severity of his backing away until he noted the startled look on Mat’s face now that he stared into this familiar dark eyes. He was holding a napkin and Rand’s face flushed scarlet when he realized that he’d been wiping drool from off his chin. Quickly, too quickly, he reached out and snatched the napkin from Mat’s hand and tucked it close to his chest but did nothing with it. 

Tam never leaves him alone. With Perrin married it’s hard for them to be around him all hours of the day. Tam only leaves his side to work, which he was doing now - loading those wagons to bring to Emond’s Field. More often than naught it was Mat that was with him, sometimes Nynaeve. But Nynaeve also had things to do, the job of being Wisdom. Often he sat in her home, staring at the herbs and she gave him menial tasks. Mat always brought up the past. Sometimes it created a yearning for him but nothing at all could outmatch the yearning that crawled through his veins as he tried desperately to reach for the Source. That glimmering and seductive Power that refused to hearken to him any longer. That alluring force that was no longer his. 

They all knew what happened when a man was Gentled and how he wished he had the strength to leave them all. To just be done with it. Would it be such a loss to any of them? To no longer tend to him like a doll who had lost a reason to exist?

“I can do that myself.” He breathes out, turning his eyes out the window again. “My father might need help, are you sure you want to stay here?” Did he want Mat to go? It would give him more time to contemplate what to do. For Rand to sit there and try mercilessly to reach the Source. He knew Mat wouldn’t leave though. Mat was always dragged on but Mat was loyal. Right now, Rand felt, he was too loyal.

[bitterflames]

fic writer interview

(tagged by @sunriseverse, tysm for the tag!! 💙 posting on my sideblog because it feels like the right place for this sort of rambling.)

How many works do you have on AO3? 10 (plus the one i orphaned, which still has my username attached). one is fanart. i'm... a very irregular writer.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 32,694 words (i do mean a very irregular writer lol).

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 1) snow and repetitions of snow (elder scrolls) (169) 2) no takebacks (mysterious lotus casebook) (126) 3) a light that does not flicker (elder scrolls) (85) 4) what's in a name? (mysterious lotus casebook) (78) 5) to gravity and the unknown (elder scrolls) (50) the actual most-kudosed work of mine is the Accursed Orphan, red oni, blue oni (tensei shitara slime datta ken) with 2202 (oh god). it really, really wasn't my best work, i stopped following the canon when i got bored with the plot, and the constant stream of kudos emails started to get on my nerves, hence the orphaning.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? i try my best to! that said there are a lot of unanswered comments from periods where i just couldn't keep up with life. i appreciate each and every one though! i swear i'll get around to them someday 😭

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? i tend to write bittersweet more than outright angsty. maybe snow and repetitions of snow, featuring two shitty stubborn wizards who are on-again off-again exes/enemies with benefits. it ends on them realizing that their ideals and personalities are irreconcilable and yet they cherish each other regardless. sometimes it just be that way!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? no takebacks is very short but given that it undoes a major character death and ends with a sort-of marriage proposal: probably that one. sometimes you just gotta write fluff to soothe the soul.

Do you write crossovers? not really. occasional crossover cameos can be fun, but overall they don't interest me a ton? i much prefer fusion AUs, but i don't often write them; perhaps because my stuff tends to be shorter and more intensely character-focused than setting-focused.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? not openly. if anyone's hating on my fics in private that's their prerogative lmao.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? occasionally! there's one explicit fic on my account and numerous WIPs that may or may not ever see the light of day. "porn with feelings" is probably the best description for the stuff i tend to write. sometimes the characters are trying very hard to ignore those feelings but they're still there. (shout out to the one lin chen/mei changsu WIP in my folder which is Very Much That.)

Have you ever had a fic stolen? not to my knowledge. i tend to write for small fandoms and rare pairs so i'm probably not high on the radar for that sort of thing?

Have you ever had a fic translated? yes! snow and repetitions of snow was translated into mandarin, i'm very happy that someone liked my fic enough to do so :)

Have you ever co-written a fic before? not yet, though i've done illustrations for big bang fics in the past, and RP'd and created shared AU verses with friends. actual co-writing isn't something i've done, but the idea is intriguing! (that said, i'm extremely flakey and wouldn't wish myself as a co-writer upon anyone.)

What’s your all-time favorite ship? "all-time" is a pretty broad category, wow. in terms of sheer volume of fics i've bookmarked though mei changsu/xiao jingyan are absolutely destroying the competition, no contest. in terms of "currently rent-free in my brain" i am frantically paddling this XJY/MCS/LC rareship against the current.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? (gestures vaguely at my entire folder of WIPs. weeps loudly.) tbh talking too much about my WIPs or even giving them a serious title until they're most-of-the-way finished feels like giving them the kiss of death. i'm not superstitious but i'm like a little stitious, you know?

What are your writing strengths? given that my entire writing process feels kind of like banging my head against a wall while crying: hard to say! i'm told i'm good with conveying tension though. in terms of characterization, insufferable theatrical magnificent bastards.

What are your writing weaknesses? long plotty fic and me are not friends. my pacing can be a bit mood whiplash-y at times. i abuse italics and semicolons like they're going out of fashion.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? depends on the cultural context of the canon, the purpose for doing so, etc... like pretty much anything else, it can be used to good effect, or it can be really grating. i think things like honorifics and terms that don't have a good 1:1 english translation are pretty much fine.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? idk probably some pokemon OC thing when i was like ten years old? in terms of fic completed and posted online, elder scrolls.

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? (shoving numerous WIPs back into my folder) does NiF count? i haven't finished anything for it yet... in terms of canons i haven't touched at all, maybe sha po lang. i read the entire thing in one long weekend while house-sitting for a friend and i'm still not sure if it was good or if it just hit all my kinks just right, but either way there's probably something to work with here.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? it's also a WIP (mostly written, just lacking a solid ending) and it's utter self-indulgent nonsense designed to appeal to no one but me but: i'm very fond of how to deflower your martial brother (wo jia dashixiong naozi you keng). hanahaki disease, fucky shixiong/shidi relations, horrible pun in the title: these are a few of my favourite things.

tagging! @shararan @strandedchesspiece @foxofninetales @sinni-ok-sessi @junemermaid @melodious-tear @thebansacredbanned and anyone else who's interested (no pressure ofc!)

[perlukafarinn]

Prompt: star trek-related destiel? Could be AU, canon-verse-but-magically-transported-to-st-verse, or just discussing and/or watching star trek :)

(I went with fusion, with Dean as Kirk and Cas as Spock. Also there’s pon farr, because how could I not.)

Dean’s first officer has been avoiding him for five days.

He’s showing up for his shifts, of course, because Cas is nothing if not a consummate professional but he won’t look at Dean, not even when he is speaking to him directly. He will also turn and walk the other way if they see each other in the hallways, and if he’s in the cafeteria when Dean enters he will immediately leave.

Dean is sick of it and, if he’s being honest, a little hurt. He’s not sure what he did to justify such treatment; he hasn’t broken the prime directive in months and the last three away missions they did he avoided life threatening situations all together. 

On top of it, he’s apparently been acting off around other members of the crew, although not avoiding them outright. He’s been short with them, once even snapping at poor Ensign Kline. 

When he brings it up with Sam, his chief medical officer and pain-in-the-ass little brother, he gets no definite answers.

“Commander Castiel is... dealing with something,” is Sam’s cryptic answer. “Look, just ask him about it. I can’t tell you anything that will violate doctor-patient confidentiality.”

Dean takes notice of that. “Cas is sick?”

“No, it’s-” Sam sighs. “Seriously, talk to him. If you ask him straight out, he’ll probably tell you. You’re his best friend.”

“Nice way he has of showing it,” Dean mutters.

Still, Sam isn’t wrong often. Dean heads down to Cas’ quarters and knocks, praying that he can’t somehow sense him on the other side of the door with his Vulcan mojo and ignore him.

A few moments later, the door slides open. Something has to be wrong with Cas, because Dean can actually see surprise flickering across his face before being replaced by the usual deadpan expression. 

“Captain,” Cas greets.

“Commander,” Dean says dryly. “Can I come in?”

Cas wants to refuse him, Dean can tell, but he apparently can’t think of a good enough reason to because he inclines his head slightly and steps out of the way.

Dean enters. The room is even warmer than Cas usually keeps it, the air stale and stifling. Maybe Cas is coming down with a cold? 

“I’m gonna cut right to the chase,” Dean says, turning around. He frowns when he notices that Cas has both hands behind his back, his forearms tense as if he’s clenching his fists. “You’ve been acting strange lately and I’m not the only one who’s noticed.”

Cas takes a few moments to respond. “If any complaints have been lodged against me-”

Dean holds up his hand. “It’s nothing like that. I’m here as your friend, not your captain.”

“Very well. As my friend, I expect you to respect my privacy.”

Dean waits but Cas is apparently done talking. He considers saying to hell with it and just ordering Cas to tell him what’s wrong, but he can’t abuse his position like that no matter how badly he wants to. 

“Cas, come on, you’re obviously upset about something. And don’t,” he adds quickly, “say that Vulcans don’t get upset. We both know that’s bullshit.”

“Then I am not sure what you want me to tell you.”

“Tell me what’s wrong!” Dean swallows. “Was it something I did?”

Cas pales. “Dean, no!” He seems taken aback in the next moment at his own outburst. “No, I - it was nothing you did, I assure you.”

“Then what is it?”

“It... has to do with biology.”

Dean narrows his eyes, confused at the unexpected answer. “What kind of biology?”

“Vulcan biology.”

“You mean the biology of Vulcans?”

Cas exhales slowly, looking very much like he’s second-guessing his decision to entrust Dean with this delicate information. “Yes. It is a deeply private matter, one that is rarely shared with outsiders.”

This is becoming more confusing by the second. Dean knows that Vulcans are a secretive bunch but what could possibly require such secrecy? 

A thought suddenly strikes him. 

“This is about sex, isn’t it?”

Cas purses his lips, his nostrils flaring slightly. He seems to be seriously regretting telling Dean anything, and Dean is half-expecting him to kick him out of his quarters, but he doesn’t.

Instead, he tells him everything. About pon farr. and his need to return home and take a mate. His lack of a mate, since his intended broke their bond some years ago (and Dean has to take a moment there because what the hell, Cas was engaged?). 

The fact that if he doesn’t find a mate in time, the fever will kill him, which is especially scary since it would take more than three weeks for them to reach Vulcan.

“So?” Dean says. “Surely they don’t have to be a Vulcan, just look at your parents. Can’t you find someone on board the Enterprise to mate with you? I can think of more than a few who’d be happy to volunteer.”

“Dean-” Cas catches himself. “Captain, I appreciate your efforts to help but it would be highly inappropriate to solicit any member of the crew in this way, as I outrank them and they might find themselves compelled to agree.”

“Then we’ll dock at the nearest station and you’ll find someone there.” Dean throws up his hands, desperate now. He can’t let Cas die, just because they’re too far from his home planet. “Or, hell, I’ll do it, just as long as-”

Cas slams into him, cutting him off short. Dean blinks, disoriented at finding himself suddenly pinned against the wall with six feet of pissed off and horny Vulcan pressed against him (and hello, that is definitely not a phaser in his pants). 

“Cas?” Dean tries. He reaches up his hand, closing it over Cas’ currently grasping tightly at his collar. “You okay?”

“You have no idea what you are offering,” Cas says. It looks like it pains him to speak, and it occurs suddenly to Dean that he’s been holding back this entire conversation. 

“Hey, it’s just sex.” Dean smiles, though it probably looks half-hearted at best. “Believe it or not, I’ve done it before.”

“But it would not be just sex,” Cas tells him. “Pon farr is... a difficult time. We lose control, revert to an animalistic state. I cannot guarantee I won’t hurt you.”

Dean shifts. He’s feeling a little more affected by Cas’ proximity than he wants to let on, and this talk about animalistic sex sure isn’t helping matters. “Maybe I don’t mind it a little rough.”

Cas makes a pained noise that has no right to sound as sexy as it does.

“It also involves a mental connection, as well as physical one,” he says after a moment to gather himself. “I would need to form a bond with your mind.”

“We’ve mindmelded before,” Dean reminds him. “You told me our minds were compatible.”

Cas stares at him. Dean tugs at his hand, finally prying his fingers from clutching his shirt. He doesn’t let go of it, and Cas doesn’t pull away either.

“It would be more than a simple mindmeld. I may not be able to break it myself. We would be connected in a profound, permanent way, never again completely alone.”

And if that isn’t the scariest, most wonderful thing Dean can think of. He searches Cas’ eyes for some idea of how he feels about it, sees no sign of repulsion or despair, nothing but desperation for Dean to understand.

“Would that be so bad?” 

He doesn’t get an answer. Not a verbal one, anyway, because Cas is too busy sticking his tongue down his throat. Dean responds enthusiastically, pressing his fingers against Cas’ as well in a simultaneous human and Vulcan kiss.

Cas is the one to pull away, leaving Dean breathless and a little dizzy.

“Dean, are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” Dean reassures him. “I am so, so sure.”

It isn’t exactly a declaration of love but it’s as close as Dean’s emotionally repressed ass is gonna get. Besides, Cas will soon be inside his mind and he’ll know exactly what he means. 

Cas kisses him again, even more desperate and heated than before. Then he is grabbing Dean and lifting him, fingers digging into his thighs. Dean automatically wraps his legs around his waist, allowing Cas to carry him across the room, to his bed where he lays him down.

He keeps standing, staring down at Dean with darkened eyes and a deep green flush on his cheeks. He has rarely looked so alien. Or so hot.

This is gonna be an interesting night.

*

Pon farr, apparently, can last anywhere from three days up to a week. Cas’ lasts six.

Not that Dean is complaining. 

[xcziel]

Multi-Fandom Slash Fic Recs: Long reads for your quarantine needs

Was gonna add my own 2 cents for each rec, but it got long and I'll never post if I have to think about it anymore - may edit to add more commentary. Suffice it to say, these are all great long reads, not much angst, some smutty some not, highly improbable levels of things-working-out because it's fanfic and that's what it's for. Feel free to troll through my AO3 Bookmarks as well.

The One Where They're Stars on HGTV Series

earlgreytea68

Inception: Arthur/Eames

AU, 466,359 words 9 works Complete

Summary:

"Have you ever seen "Love It or List It"? In which Arthur is the real estate agent and Eames is the designer.

Eames is certain that they will excel at being celebrity judges.

Arthur is not so sure.

But then, that's usually how their relationship goes."

My 2 cents: Just what it says on the tin: Arthur and Eames are HGTV stars of a show which pits straightlaced realtor Arthur against flamboyant designer Eames, but the new show they're embarking on will give them a chance to work together. Arthur has his reservations - not least among them the surprise arrival of Eames' superficially charming ex. Eames, of course, has all the confidence in the world. Featuring fun design challenges, mildly insecure Athur, fluffy confidant Ariadne, reality show 'backstage' melodrama, Arthur becomes a meme, Eames fantastical decorating schemes, a Matt Bomer lookalike complete with fedora (trilby), and acres of gauzy romantic fluff.

We Begin Again Series

katherynefromphilly

Merlin: Merlin/Arthur

316,197 words 4 works

Summary:

"For many long years Merlin waited.

For the other part of his soul, for the other half of his life. He was born to serve Arthur. So that meant he was also born to wait. Even if it took a thousand years. Even if the wait seemed never to end.

Until one day, suddenly, it did.

When Arthur stumbles from the Lake of Avalon 1,500 years after his death, he finds a world unlike the one he knew. Faced with the loss of everyone he loved, and the threat of impending prophecy, Arthur must learn what it means to be not just a king, but the Once and Future King. Merlin does all he can to guide him, even as he struggles to hide his love for his king, and his fear of losing him again.

Story includes sass, banter, horseplay, & True Love."

Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail Series

owlet

MCU: Steve/Bucky

264,438 words 8 works

Summary:

"The mission resets abruptly, from objective: kill to objective: protect

Integration into adult human social dynamics requires attention and effort. Especially with this bunch of damaged bozos.

(A series of interconnected one-shots.)"

2 cents: Post-Winter Soldier Bucky works his own way through. Recovery fic from Bucky's POV, not shippy in the beginning (unless you consider MCU-canon-level co-dependency shippy I guess) and with added 'Avengers living in the Tower' flavor

The Sonnet Series

nekosmuse, afrocurl

X-Men: Charles/Erik

AU, 196,721 words 3 works

Summary:

"Erik Lehnsherr is a visiting professor at Columbia University, as well as an acclaimed and award winning poet. Charles Xavier is a lead researcher with the Genetics Department who is well on his way to tenure. But what happens when Charles has to cancel a class because half his students abandon him in favour of a mysterious new English Lit professor? Naturally he ends up sitting in in the class, where Professor Lehnsherr mistakes him for a student. It's really too bad Erik has such a strict policy against dating students. It's also too bad Erik doesn't seem to know how to use Google."

Hollywood 'verse Series

clio_jlh

Star Trek AOS: Kirk/McCoy

80,063 words 7 works

Summary:

"From Variety, June 2008:

Pavel Chekov ("Charlie X") and Gaila ("Bread and Circuses") have joined the cast of small budget drama "That Which Survives," funded by Fleet's indie arm Academy and supervised by Nyota Uhura.

The debut feature from longtime script doctor Leonard McCoy, former show runner on sitcom "Three to Tango," centers on a college student coping with his father's terminal cancer. Chekov plays the son, Gaila the nurse. The father is yet to be cast.

Also attached are director James T. Kirk and producer Spock, the team behind the blockbuster spy-girl franchise starring Carol Marcus, the latest of which, "A Taste of Armageddon," opened last month.

(A modern-day Hollywood AU.)"

A Curious Carriage of Crystal and Cold

Etharei

X-Men: Charles/Erik

AU, 114,261 words

Summary:

"Charles, a miner from a poor village in the countryside, saves the life of Erik Lehnsherr, scion of a successful business family and the richest man on the planet Eisen. Charles is a telepath and somewhat anxious about it, while Erik abstains from relationships because the lights flicker and doors open and electronics vibrate when he gets too excited.

Also featuring a long-suffering sister, a foul-mouthed bodyguard, and a best friend with a heart that is definitely not gold.

In which there are princes, spaceships, long journeys, and old secrets uncovered. (An AU sci-fi fairytale)"

Shadowlord and Pirate King Series

Footloose, mushroomtale

Merlin: Merlin/Arthur

AU, 216,060 words 3 works

Summary:

"A fast ship, a good crew, a treasure, a Clan to lead -- that's all Arthur Pendragon has ever wanted. He sits on the Council, he supports his father's kingship, and he keeps an eye on the Imperial Conglomerate when they come too close to Pirate space.

One day the Conglomerate infiltrates the Clans and poisons the King. Arthur must search for a cure to keep his father alive and the Clans from civil war.

An escape route, a sharp knife, a target, the shadows at his command -- that's all Merlin has ever needed. He fulfills his assignments, he uses the Sterling to sustain his once-royal House in their exile, and wages a private war against the Imperial Conglomerate.

When he learns of an elaborate plot to assassinate him, Merlin does the opposite of what's expected. He flees onto a Pirate ship.

There's a saying among the Pirates: that one's fate is written in the stars. Destiny will always set to rights what has been made wrong.

Arthur and Merlin know that they were meant for the other from the moment they meet. They can feel it from across the galaxies separating them. Nothing can stop them from being together or from fulfilling an ancient prophecy."

Children, Wake Up Series

hollycomb

Star Wars sequels: Kylo Ren/Armitage Hux

non-canon after Force Awakens, 608,083 words 3 works

Warning for torture and past sexual assault (offscreen)

Summary:

"Hux follows orders and loses his way.

Barricaded in the darkness of Snoke's citadel as part of his final training, Kylo Ren senses a disturbance in the Force: General Hux in great pain, captured and tortured by a faction of radical traitors within the First Order. Ren seeks Snoke's counsel and finds him gone. He knows this is a test, and that he must resist the urge to assist the General. And yet."

2 cents: I don't even know. I started just to look at it and then somehow I couldn't stop. Two characters I find wholly irredeemable given back story enough to make me suspend disbelief just enough to enjoy the fic - now that's talent. Features background Finn/Rey and Luke/Wedge if you care about that, and generally has everyone written in a positive light except Snoke, including a surprising handful of of First Order refugees. It's weirdly not at all a dark fic, despite the premise and extreme levels of Force Ex Machina.

snipers solve 99% of all problems

silentwalrus

Fullmetal Alchemist: post-canon gen

HP crossover, 170,861 words, 59 chapters so far, WIP

Summary:

"Ed had thought, after the whole Promised Day, homunculus, entire country harvested for alchemical batteries thing, the batshit quotient of his life would have settled down some. He really ought to have topped out the meter with that one. But no. The bullshit is just getting started.

“Are you fucking kidding me,” Ed demands. “The wizards?”"

2 cents: Neither of these are my fandom, but I have read all the HP books, so I could get the gist. While jonesing for an update, I ended up bingeing FMA: Brotherhood and I have no regrets. Ed working alchemy-as-science and trying to translate wizardry into scientific alchemical workarounds is all I never knew I wanted. Team Amestris takes JKR's creation to school, with all the swearing you'd expect sprinkled throughout for ambiénce.