#wAHHWAHHHH I MISS IT
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kinda on the verge of crying because i thought too much abt my future and how i really wanna do this job. staging at that place really opened my eyes and everything clicked but now i'm terrified i won't be able to do this great job that is perfectly fit for me and it will break me. wahhwah
#like it's a combination of computer stuff helping ppl AND doing creative workshop and all. some sort of routine but we're still doing#different stuff. i can make a difference and help out ppl. that month of staging in August flew by i was always sad when it was friday cos#that meant it was the week end already and another week went by and I didn't have much time working here.#I NEVER HAD A JOB OR TRAINEESHIP OR STAGE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE THIS :((( it literally doesn't feel like a job#i'm so fucking heartbroken to the idea i might not be able to do this job#cos they're a non profit organization and even tho they're looking for someone new + liked how invested i was they don't have enough room#for getting another person in the staff and they need to move.#but there's no like. business or company where i could do a similar job#there's prob only non profit organizations like them and it's hard to come by around here +difficult to get hired as they're paid by the gov#or other sponsors '#anyway i'm just hoping to not have to go to a job that'll fuck my body and brain more and truly wishing for a job like what i did at that#stage. literally love at first sight :'((( sniffles sniffles#ALSO THE LIL GRANMAS AND GRANPAS LIKE ME :((( IT'S SO NICE TO BE SURROUNDED BY CARING PPL#I LOVE HELPING THEM OUT#wAHHWAHHHH I MISS IT#my current job is kinda still the same but not really it's at the french job center. helping them out on the puter#still isn't as fun it's only paper work + they can lash out on us for stuff we don't have anything to do with#but i'm still helping out ppl + i have a counselor for the next 7 months to guide me. i hope i'll make something out of my life i'll enjoy#tomtom_is_rambling
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i hate the fact that i can't watch frankenstein's monster's monster frankenstein anywhere no i won't pay a month of netflix for this even tho i'm really tempted to
#i've watched it 12 times already#but...it's not enough#i really miss it :((( it's been like years now wahhwahhhh
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