#was because he had something to prove. he was the obedient hound of the leaf for years. and all because he was making up for the verdict

[zincbot]

kakashi's death still kinda fucks with me

[persorene]

in the festival of bonds dlc (that never got localized -sob sob-) dwyer says that jakob talks his ears off about how happy he is to be married to be corrin and nobody loves her more than he does, to the point where he's just become immune to it. do you think you could write about that?

“Dwyer…” Jakob sighed as he took in the sight of the disheveled manor. As per usual, his son had left the house to fall to ruin. Jakob cleaned it every time he visited but the point seemed rather moot.

“What? I like it this way.” Dwyer grumbled, shoving a crate out of his way with his foot as he walked into the foyer.

Jakob pinched the bridge of his nose, fighting back the urge to gripe at his son. Corrin hadn’t been able to come along for their visit today, if she found out he’d snapped at their boy again…

“Let’s get this over with.” The teenager mumbled as he bent over to scoop up a pile of papers he’d left lying on the floor.

“No, just- just leave it alone.”

Dwyer’s eyes widened “What’s wrong pop, you sick?” he teased, laying the back of his hand across his father’s forehead as if to feel for the warmth of a fever.

“I just think you and I could do something fun instead.”

“Do you- do you know what fun is? I assumed you were like allergic to it or something.”

“Oh ha ha. Are you certain you haven’t been wasting your time on comedy lessons?” Jakob taunted “Besides, I can be fun. Have I ever told you about the time your mother and I-”

“I’m pretty sure you’ve told me every story about mom.” Dwyer grumbled. He knew he should appreciate how much his parents loved one another, the fact that he was a product of such an intense love should’ve been a point he was proud of, but his father had a tendency to speak only of his mother and little else. It could become quite tiresome, especially for an apathetic teenager.

“I doubt it, but clearly you aren’t interested in hearing this one.” Jakob folded his arms, rolling his eyes at his child in process.

“Alright, oh Captain of Fun Times, what are we doing today?”

Jakob exhaled deeply, placing his hands on his hips in a bold pose “Well. We… we can take a walk!”

“Really? That’s your fun idea?”

“Would you rather I go back to cleaning your messes?” The butler snapped.

“No.” The boy sighed.

“Good, I never get to see much of your realm anyway. Let’s go.”

_______________________________________

“You know, I really am positive that you don’t know what fun means.” Dwyer panted as he dropped down onto the ground. The pair had stopped at the top of a hill, perched high above a crystalline lake and hedged by thick forests on all sides.

“You aren’t really that tired are you?” Jakob teased as he fell back onto the grass beside his son “Must I insist on more walks to prevent you from becoming sedentary?”

“Dad!”

Jakob’s laughter filled the air. His laughed quickly proved infectious as his son began to cackle along with him, laughing even harder as his father flung a pile of leaves at him in an uncharacteristically playful display of affection. Dwyer fervently reached for another pile, chucking them at his father who still lay on the ground howling with laughter. The exchange quickly devolved into a small war, each one rushing to pile more of the dying foliage on the other.  Jakob began to wheeze, his chest heaving as he flopped back down onto the ground, a bright orange leaf clinging to his hair as the white locks fell loose from their usually pristine pony tail.

“I guess you are capable of having fun.” Dwyer taunted as he fell back into place at his father’s side.

“I told you I was.”

“Yes, well, it was hard to believe until I saw it. That answers one question I’ve always had.”

“And what question is that?” Jakob muttered, he had let his eyes drift closed as he lay in the warm autumn sun.

“Don’t get your feelings hurt, but, what mom saw in you.”

There was a pause, Jakob’s eyes drifted open and scanned the sky, his chest rose and fell in heavy succession as he worked on an answer “I’ll be honest Dwyer, I don’t know what she sees in me.”

“Dad, I didn’t mean to-”

“No, it’s already out in the open, we should talk about it. My feelings aren’t hurt, I’ve wondered the same thing for years. I know I talk your ear off about how much I love your mum and how lucky I am to have her, but, I do that because it’s true. I love her with every ounce of my being and I am so, so very lucky that she chose to love me back… but I don’t know why she did. I’m not worthy of her, I never was. I am the penniless bastard of an awful nobleman, her servant, a man with an awful temper and no happiness besides that which she has brought me… so what on Earth made her love me?” his voice was soft and distant as he thought over his insecurities once again.

He lay in silence again, relieving his moments with the princess “I know you insist I’ve told you every story about your mother, but did I ever tell you about the time we tried to run away?”

Dwyer shook his head in response. His father had never mentioned it before and it came as quite a shock to the boy. Jakob was as straight laced and proper as a butler could be, his father was obedient to fault and certainly didn’t seem like the type of man who’d run away with a princess in tow.

“Well.” Jakob smirked, a soft laugh leaving his lips “Guess I haven’t told you everything then. Your mother hated being a prisoner, she hated being trapped with no access to the outside world. She yearned to explore and travel. I had taken her outside on occasion, but never far and always with permission. As we grew, she became more and more depressed about her confinement, to the point that I was concerned for her. Of course, I was always concerned for her, I loved her. And because I loved her, I agreed to accompany her when she told me she was going to leave.

We waited until after dinner, Gunter would be off working and the staff would be cleaning the mess from dinner. We packed a few belongings and slipped out unnoticed, I was honestly surprised how easy it was. She laughed as she ran, the wind rushing through her hair, her feet dancing across the cool grass. She was free and so, so lovely. I knew  how mad this plan was, but I would have done anything for her.

We made it into the next village over by nightfall, the streets were empty, the street lamps were lit and the fountain in the town center was bubbling. Your mother grabbed my hands and pulled me into the circle, in an instant she was holding my hands and spinning me around in an erratic pattern that somewhat resembled a dance. We were laughing and I was felt my stomach fluttering, she and I had done it, we were free and together and all of my dreams were within reach.

Then we heard the guards. And we ran. We didn’t know where to go, so we fled into the forest hoping to avoid capture. But they had hounds with them, it didn’t take long for them to locate us. We were pulled from the brush and separated, your mother was thrown onto a horse and carried back home before we could make sense of what had happened. I was left alone, I stood calm and still but inside I was a disaster. What I had done was treason and I could, and likely would, be tried and executed for it.

Gunter stepped forward, glaring at me… I was prepared for him to unleash hell, but he shocked me and called off the guards. He sent them home and swore them to silence, then he and I remained. His eyes never left me and I wasn’t stupid enough to look away. ‘Where have you been?’ he asked me. I told him we’d run away because she couldn’t take this life anymore. He told me what I had done was the stupidest thing he’d ever seen. However, he admired me and my devotion to her. I dare not tell him my reason was a stupid and senseless love for her, though I’m sure he knew. We walked back to the castle, I was lectured the entire way but he assured me Corrin was in just as much trouble, however, it would stay our secret and no one would ever know it.

That stood true, until just now. You are the first person I’ve ever shared that story with.”

“… That’s incredible.” Dwyer whispered “Grandpa really saved you guys didn’t he?”

“He isn’t as awful as I act like he is.”

“Dad… Do you have any more stories?”

“I thought you were sick of my old stories?” Jakob teased.

“Well, maybe if you’d tell more interesting ones sometimes.”

“Okay, okay…” The butler laughed heartily “I suppose if you’re interested I can tell a few more.”

[fineillsignup]

Heart Under A Blade, please! :D

Heart Under a Blade partisans have been so patient, even though I focused on Your Most Important Person instead. I’m working on HUAB and definitely plan to get its next chapter out before YMIP gets updated again. I may or may not release a Mada//Saku that I’m working on first, and also some DW fanfic, but anyway, I promise that I’m moving HUAB toward the top of my writing priorities.

In the meantime, I hope a teaser will be welcomed. Context: this is the scene where Kakashi suggests Jiraiya’s code is from Icha Icha Tactics, and Shiho orders Kakashi to read the sentences.

Shiho clears her throat. “We’ll start with the first word on the indicated page of the book, but we should have it in context, so Hatake-san, please read the whole sentence.”

“N-now?”

“Yes, of course!”

Kakashi stares at the roomful of expectant ninja, the cryptographers, Shikamaru, Naruto.

Kakashi taught his students a lot about looking underneath the underneath.

What he didn’t get to—mostly because he really was a rotten teacher, as his former students’ immediate exponential blossoming under new teachers proved—was the next step for shinobi who have mastered looking at the overlooked.

“Today’s training!” said Minato-sensei brightly. “Find, obtain, and deliver. Rin-chan, I want you to bring me this leaf.” He held up a large oak leaf with a single large insect bite dead centre. “Obito-kun, this flower.” The flower was wilting strangely, half rotten and half fresh. “Kakashi-kun, this mushroom.” A fat white mushroom with a single red spot.

Kakashi remembers scowling, irritated that he was going to be slowed down once again by his deadweight team. Rin, at least, would accept his help in finding her leaf, but Obito would probably refuse on principle.

“I’ll leave these here.” Minato-sensei gestured to the three botanical items on top of the stump. “Now I want these exact items—this shape, this size, exactly these items in every way, understand? I won’t accept anything less. There are no other rules! I’ll be at Training Ground Seven.” He waved and body-flickered away.

Kakashi didn’t remember much of the actual, grinding, tedious, and ultimately fruitless search for a match. He had tried clones, he was pretty sure, and he thought Obito had attempted to use his fire jutsu to burn a hole in a leaf to match Rin’s target, but only succeeded in nearly setting his own arm ablaze, of course. Not like a burned hole would look like an insect hole anyway…

Minato-sensei was sweaty but still maddeningly cheerful when he came back to their area of the forest. “What a great day for a work-out!” he called. “But you all failed your assignment?”

His three students stared at him—sheepish Rin, Obito sucking on a burnt finger, Kakashi outwardly indifferent but inwardly crawling with shame.

“Nobody thought to just bring me these, huh?” Their teacher tapped on the stump.

Three mouths, one hidden by a mask, fell open.

Minato-sensei laughed. “I expected failure, don’t worry. Actually, in some ways, it means you’re good shinobi. You’re all very good at looking underneath the underneath, very diligent, very obedient, very mission-focused… but don’t forget about the best place to hide something from a typical ninja…” He picked up the leaf and looked through the hole with one eye. “In plain sight.”

In the present, everyone is staring at him as his face gets hotter and hotter.

“I told you wanted these items, but because I just put them down, you all assumed they couldn’t really be the items. You all assumed that I didn’t mean my plain meaning. Now, can you imagine the possibilities here?”

“What are you waiting for?!” Naruto face contorts with rage as sweat beads on Kakashi’s bright red face.

Kakashi remembers being a teenager, desperate to get away to a fantasy place, to escape being himself, compulsively reading romance novels. A huge, obvious, glaring vulnerability. And he knew it, he knew it right away, and he was surrounded always by other shinobi, so the best way to hide this vulnerability…

“Hound, get your nose out of your smut, the target will be here in less than an hour,” Owl snickered.

Kakashi turned a page and said nothing. He was there in body with his fellow ANBU, but he was also far, far away, with a beautiful woman who was just about to seduce a grieving widower, giving him comfort, pleasure, hope, life.

“That guy is so cold,” complained Rabbit. “He’s like a machine, he doesn’t care about anything. Reading a disgusting book like that in public.”

…was to make his compulsive habit as obvious as possible.

But hiding in plain sight has one serious drawback. If the observer ever does twig on, it’s all over.

“Do it!” Naruto growls.

It comes out of Kakashi like it’s being dragged out of him with a hook. “Do… you… really… love me?”

It’s humiliating. It’s agonizing. He would rather chew and swallow glass than recite these phrases of romance and connection.

When it’s over, he’s a sweaty, numb mess. Only muscle memory is keeping him clinging to the windowsill. Slowly, slowly, sense and feeling returns as he realizes that the urgent problem of Jiraiya-sama’s code has got them all focused on it. Even when they were listening to him, they weren’t thinking of him and what the words meant in their plain meaning; only their meaning for the code.

He’s escaped, he’s escaped.