#wasnt even jamie related 😭 😭

[jfouler]

things i’ve heard at school - sentence starters? do as you like

“there are no dumb questions, just the dumb people that ask them.”

“[name], no one likes you.”

"whats that really scary hour? is it three?"

“that’s so scary. i will not be able to sleep for weeks.”

“hip bones can kill people.”

“there is nothing worth celebrating right now.”

“i wanna be happy, but i can’t.”

“i will carve you like a pumpkin.”

“i was cooking pizza and thought of you.”

“i like blood. everyone likes blood.”

“i risked my life to fix it.”

“we’ll get more torture- i mean, practice, later.”

“birds don’t mess around.”

“stop this madness.”

“a pathetic old man. that’s your future.”

"kids, have you seen my glock?"

"comedy is not that different from horror."

"yes, penguins die. that's pretty sad."

"it's easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission."

"someone's gonna get shanked."

"it wasn't a kid. it was a grown man."

"are your parents rich?"

"i don't know how 'lit' things are today."

"at the end of the day, you can do nothing but cry."

"i have your mom's number on speed dial."

"i might be stupid, but i'm persistent."

"it smells like high school girl in here."

"oh my god, what if we domesticated bears?"

"do stupid shit safely."

"i have big calves! it's from jumproping."

"he just wants to see me suffer."

"if you can't be the sharpest tool in the shed, be the biggest hoe."

"you gotta microwave it, girl!"

"we've only been told the story. now we're discovering the story."

"there are a lot of connections between math and music."

"oh, just stop."

"what are you doing here? i mean, how are you doing?"

"without music? impossible. start singing."

"i'm not gonna stay home just because i can't breathe."

"i think if i were a bug, i'd be a bee."

"we have such a complicated relationship."

"good thing i only drink beer."

"i kinda, like, don't like this place anymore."

"is it okay to murder someone in a church?"

"if we all die, then we're all dead."

"there's a new smell in here."

"that's why god created spellcheck."

"you know how i feel about young people."

"what? me getting arrested by six fucking cops?"

"are you just saying that so i stop asking questions?"

"there are lots of people i wish would just be quiet."

"so, we're all dying."

"oh, so you're selfish. adds up."

"would you rather i hate you or be ambivalent towards you?"

"don't be a hero. it won't go well."