#we once were indistinguishable from eachother. everyone was.

[blooscreen]

wwomen . girls . 🥺💖 . starting to think i may be . more than just a faggot . at times

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civilization is a sacrificial macro-ritual of a cult of death. (if you are so afraid of death that you are willing to eat the world to avoid it, to flatten every aspect of the world into its usefulness to capital and sacrifice the lives and life/energy/"time" of billions, that's a kind of worship.) and like any good death ritual it turns against the people who were supposed to benefit from it, but of course not before destroying the lives of everyone and everything else... but a huge majority of people still believe this cult is the only way to exist, so it seems unlikely that it will ever stop. I liked your essay about the martial art of standing-while-royal btw

Thanks! I’m still quite proud of that one :)

tbh I’ve been thinking a lot about the fear of death as a motivation recently... like, a basic premise of that continuous-cutting-motion post is that everyone is in a mad scramble to tear eachother down out of fear, but it goes further than that, right

So, some anecdotes: I was once discussing housing policy with a family member, making some arguments for the decommodification of housing and such, and they made this counterargument where they said that real estate and being a landlord were essentially the only ways, in america, to fund one’s retirement, and therefore all the stuff i was talking about would be bad for specific older members of our family. And this isn’t the only time I’ve had arguments like this with this person, where i point to some systemic injustice or w/e and they make a counter that ultimately says that it is necessary to do something like those things because to do otherwise would be irresponsible; like literally “there’s this other person I know who went to caltech with me who never planned for the future and now he has no teeth and lives in a trailer, this will happen to you too if you don’t (etc) and that’s why charities that do almost nothing besides investing their money in order to keep growing in ways indistinguishable from hedge funds are ok and not just tax dodges.”

Like I’m not kidding about rich people thinking about their capital-entities as extensions of their will, extensions of themselves, and thinking of their ceasing to exist as analogous to their own deaths. I have sat there being lectured about these things. And the people doing the lecturing were barely upper-middle class! They weren’t even rich enough to have charities like that!

My point being, yeah, we’ve reached a point where ideologically I’m wondering if it might not be necessary to legitimize suicidal ideation as a response to these things; that I should perhaps be able to say that fantasizing about having an organization named after you that propagates a cult of your genius and thus your will into the future (see, e.g., Disney) is like. Insane. And bad. Like, he’s dead. He’s a dead man. We should not take his volition into consideration in the allocation of resources on a mass scale. Leave him in the grave. Immortality through capital is immoral. It might be more obvious with Disney, but it’s not any less true for “nonprofits” à la Gates, Rockafeller, Ford, etc.

The only moral thing for your name to be when you’re dead is a conceptual tool. Be more like Euclid, or Descartes, or, idk, Kafka. Evolve into an adjective.