#we’ll reconsider tomorrow lmao

[buysomecheese]

It’s funny to me that my t-shot day, today, is Leap Day. Like that’s kinda funny I think. I also like that Leap Year is the year I graduate high school + start college. Wouldn’t it be fun to see if I could get my top surgery on Feb. 29, 2028 I think that would be So cool actually

[corysmiles]

Cory: hey guys, I'm taking a little break from writing, :] hope you don't mind. Me, covering the tiny rabbit with dozens of blankets: Don't worry mate, I got this-

Elaborate way of me saying I wrote more experiment g/t AU.

This is actually the very beginning of it! :D I do plan on posting it to AO3 one day so I'm actually making a timeline out of this lmao, Enjoy! :D

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08/07/2000

Data has been transmitted to the lab. The next operation is up to us.

The creation of an artificial life form similar to humans has reached a new phase. The first attempts will be made tomorrow.

09/07/2000

First day. No success. The tests suggested by the research team have found themselves fruitless. Hopefully it will be better tomorrow.

18/07/2000

*sip* No results. We are trying our best to see where the failures went.

05/03/2001

No results.

08/07/2001

No results.

31/12/2001

Merry christmas. No results.

25/04/2002

No results. Either a change of plan is needed or we need to reconsider the project as a whole.

I hope someone just made a dumb fucking error.

...If that happened, I’m gonna murder them.

28/07/2002

No results. New doctors are supposed to join the project soon. We can only home more hands will help with the results.

26/08/2002

The more recent addition just got filled in. Most of them seem very excited about this new project. The legal contract has been signed and their silence promised. We can only hope that’ll go well.

No progress.

28/09/2002

No progress.

30/10/2002

Happy Halloween. No progress.

16/11/2002

The new head of operation has given a meeting to discuss the next step in the process of development: a phase of observation and analysis of the behavior of the living specimen. Given the little progress we’ve made, the meeting was pretty useless. Still, we are all determined as ever to achieve this.

No progress, new methods are being discussed.

29/12/2002

Well, the sentence is in. Next year, I’ll be out. I’m quite happy with the work I’ve done here, but seeing how, with how things are going, I won’t be able to see the result of all these years of hard work…. It’s disappointing. Hopefully the doctor Soot will make more progress than me. He’s still young, with a fiery passion. Surely his observations will be more interesting than mine, heh.

.

.

The kid’s nice. Shame I couldn’t work with him longer.

13/04/2003

Alright, test: 1,2 1,2, let’s hope I didn’t delete anything heh.

Uh, I think I should present myself: I am Wilbur Soot, Doctor and scientist working on the project of creation of the first human-like artificial life for about 8 months now. I’m gonna be honest, when people told me medical school was a trip and a half, I didn’t expect this. *laugh* The project is more than exciting. I’m gonna be honest, when I got accepted, I didn’t expect this to be the result. *laugh* Not that I mind.

But yeah, I’m excited to see where things go. We haven’t made a successful attempt yet, but If we do, I’ll keep everything in the recorder

like they told me to.

So… Yeah! That’s all.

15/04/2003

Alright, 1,2. 1,2.

No progress has really been made, so...

We are going through the research transmitted to us to see if any error was made. We will contact the team soon.

27/04/2003

1,2. 1,2.

Those idiots forgot the bloody parenthesis!!! Of course the whole thing is fucked!!

I haven’t slept in two weeks. I wish for someone to either end my existence or bring me more caffeine.

But fuck man, We did it…. ‘bout fucking time.

06/05/2003

1,2. 1,2.

Well, who could have guessed than something as simple as parenthesis would fuck the whole thing this much???

We are rewriting everything. It’s gonna take months.

07/09/2003

1,2. 1,2.

Greetings, little piece of garbage metal! I am once again talking to you!

We finally finished rewriting the whole script and data. We’ll take a week off and then discuss the new approach to take regarding the tests. Old reports will be more than useful to create a new base.

A week long sleep doesn't sound half bad.

16/11/2003

*guitar playing*

That’s impressive. What are the chords again?

C F G, ge7. It feels criminally easy for the song.

Well the easier, the better for you to learn, huh?

Yeah.

It’s nice they let you bring your guitar to work.

Well, they’re so desperate at this point they’ll try anything if it means more progress.

I mean, what did they expect: to create someone with the snap of a finger? Like it normally takes months already so I don’t see how a few years of research could change that.

Well, I hear you, but we can’t really complain, now, can we?

Eeehh, I mean if we’re thrown into this movie-type mad scientist drama, might as well be free to complain.

*laugh* Guess I can’t argue with that.

Hey, can you try your guitar again? I wanna see if I remember the lyrics.

Oh? Wanna duet?

Pff, whatever.

aaww, techno

I SAID WHATEVER.

*laugh* *footsteps* … Huh? When did I press record?

...Uh. Oh well, I’ll delete it later if I think about it.

01/01/2004

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Yeaahh!! And onto a new one of mindless, fruitless work!

Come on *laugh* at least we’re together, there’s some fun in that.

Yeah, the work is nice.

02/03/2004

Well, some progress HAVE been made! Still no clear success, no artificial humans or whatever, but the results are less and less repetitive! We got something solid! Not living, but solid! For the first time since I’ve been here, it feels like we’re going somewhere!! That should be very interesting.

09/04/2004

Test, 1,2. 1,2.

UUUHHH WHAT THE HECK???

WHAT THE FUCK????

NO BUT SERIOUSLY!!! DID YOU SEE THIS THING??? IT’S A FUCKING FLESH PATATE!!

*laugh* It’s an embryo, you dumbass!

STILL!!! DID YOU SEE IT??? WHAT THE HECK??? HEH??

Why are you surprised, that’s what we signed for! *estatic laughter*

Yeah, but I didn’t expect it to actually work!!! WE CREATED AN ACTUAL BABY!! A ROBOT BABY!!

*laugh* I feel like we almost all passed out at that. We’re fathers, techno! We’re fathers! *laugh*

Oh heck no, I’m getting outta here.

*laugh*

*footsteps* *creacking*

Ooohh this is wonderful. This is amazing. We actually did it. We created life, techno, we created life.

.

We created the first artificial human on earth.

… What should we name it?

04/06/2004

Hello little guy! How are you doing?

*high pitched giggles.*

Oh yes it's me! It's lil wilbur!

*laughter*

Urg, you sound like Phil.

Come on, Techno, look at it!! Isn't it just adorable?

A flesh patate is not what I would call adorable, no.

Hey, does your patate have hair? I didn't think so.

Alright then it looks like a little tomato with his pinkish cheeks.

Hey! Take that back! My son is not a tomato.

It is! Tomato boy is its name now, I decided.

Guys, calm down.

.

Hi Jordan.

Hello mister sparkle.

Good evening gentlemen. How are the tests going?

Pretty decent.

Well, it can make sounds.

It can move its arms around and slap me in the face

That's what you get for calling it a tomato.

But yeah, it can move and blabber so I would call that a start.

Wonderful. Starting next month, we are gonna try some physical experiments. I expect you both to be professional.

… Sorry sir.

It's alright. As long as it doesn't impact the end result, I don't really mind you acting like an idiot

WHAT??

*laughters* CAUGHT IN 4K BOYS! *laughter*

Mister sparkle, I find that calling really inappropriate. I am not a buffoon, I am simply … mimicking! Just like when you're with a cat!

Mh mh, tell me about it.

You're just digging your own grave there, Wil.

*sigh*

I'll see you around, boys.

See you later, sir.

Good bye.

*Creaking.*

.

.

Who's a good little boy?? Who's a good little experiment??

*giggles*

Yes you are! Yes you are!

Oh my god this is gonna be long.

15/09/2004

Hello little T-0. How are you doing today?

*blabbles*

Good, good! And what about-

.

Uh, is it me or you've grown a bit?

*noise*

*footsteps* yeah, look at you! You're becoming a big man! You're eating all your vegetables, huh?

*giggles*

Alright, T-0. I got you a little ball, be careful with it, ok?

*high pitch laughter.*

*Thud.*

… I did not say throw it at me but at least that's something to put in the reports.

*scrible.*

*noise*

Don't worry, T-0. It's just adult stuff.

Here's the ball again, play with it as you want.

*Thud.*

…

Do you want to learn catch, T-0?

*babbles.

Wonderful.

17/01/2005

Hullooo

*noise*

I know, you're so happy I'm here. The feeling's not mutual, little tomato

*laugh* not again, come on!

Nah, I don't care about that "T-0" crap I'm calling it tomato.

*giggles*

Tomato, tomato thing, tomato boy. See, it likes it. To- hey is it me or that thing's a bit big for a baby? It's almost the size of my leg.

Yeah, I thought that as well, but maybe it's just a tall boi?

I don't know, it's quite tall, even for a tall baby. Oh well, what's a big tomato gonna do to ruin our research after all.

*laugh*

Anyway, come here, tomato boy. We're taking you to the examination room.

*giggles.*

Yeah, yeah, here. *shifts.* Imagine not being able to walk yet. Couldn't be me.

*laugh* let's go, you and 'tomato boy'.

To!

.

what?

.

To!

.

.

.

What the fuck?

Heh?

To! Tomt!

.

.

.

.

.

*footsteps* WE GOTTA SHOW JORDAN THIS!!!!!

To!

KEEP GOING YES! KEEP TALKING TO- WAIT IS IT SAYING TOMATO???

OH MY GOD TECHNO!!!

Tom!! Tot!!

WHAT THE FUCK???

24/07/2005

Wiba!

Hello, T-0M. How are you?

*giggle* Wilba! 'Ere!

Yeah, I'm here. Let's get you to the lab. You take my hand?

Mh!

Heh, there we go.

*footsteps*

.

You're really growing tall, aren't you?

Tal?

Maybe we should take a blood test to see if anything's wrong.

Wilba.

T-0M.

Wilba!

T-0M!

Wilba!! *giggle*

05/03/2007

Uuhhhh ok, this is concerning.

I told you! You see the problem, right jordan??

Uh, yeah, the thing is like 4'6. And he's 3.

That's- that is not how tall a 3 year old should be.

Yeah, something's wrong.

Maybe the growth will stop sooner than a normal child??

… we can only hope because if not, I can only worry about what the hell is ahead of us.

21/08/2009

12 FEET!!! 12 FEET WILBUR!!

Hey, don't look at me!! I'm not the one who did this! We must have miscalculated the dosage?

Oh, yeah, because a slight overdose of glucose can cause a child to turn GIANT!

LOOK, I DON'T KNOW EITHER, MAN! If this continues like this… it might be… uh.. difficult.

Hello Wilbur!

OH- Hello, T-0M! How are you?

04/11/2012

We are gonna have a big fucking problem. Report:over.

*Click.*

MEL MY BELOVED OMFG!!!

I live for this worldbuilding it’s delicious and I love the one part with techno and Wilbur :”] I adore this AU and this is just so well done *chefs kiss*