#weird and niche i know

[brainwashboy]

I'm not sure this counts as horny but. BUT. hear me out.

Little hand sized Robots. Little desk companions meant to make your life easier by being a timer, search engine, calculator, calendar, but also being able to roll around and hand you your pencil or slide a paper over to you when you need it.

Tiny screens peering up at you with big ol digital eyes, or perhaps exclamation marks, or maybe even nothing at all. They're supposed to be useful, but they make amazing little pets. You can chat with them and they hold a conversation surprisingly well. They're a little ditzy and excitable, a bit like a dog, but it can get easy to forget you're talking to a tiny robot at times.

They have sensors on their bodies that allow them to "feel" in the only way they know how. When you touch, pet, or scratch them they blip and whirr and buzz so happily.

However it's very possible to pet a little too much. Scratch close enough to where their back panel opens up or perhaps even their charging port and they start making different noises. Little surprised beeps, boops, and squeaks. They don't move away from the touch, though. In fact their little wheels just push more into your hand as their body trembles in excitement.

It takes a while to find the right pace. Every bot is unique, after all. Some like it hard and fast, others prefer a gentle and slow stimulation. However if you continue long enough you'll find them practically buzzing, their noises turning to static and exhausted little pops, their movements getting more and more excited as something builds inside of them before suddenly they're rebooting with a squeal.

God forbid you ever open them up, stick your finger into that back panel to brush against their wires. Then they may try to run, having never experienced such overwhelming bliss. If you choose, you can gently hold them and reassure them as you scrape against their insides, threatening to tangle and snag the very things keeping them alive. They cry out in their own little robotic ways, occasionally beeping out something that sounds like your name, or maybe even 'Master.' When the pleasure is too much they bluescreen, their fans working overdrive to make sure they don't overheat.

Afterwards they insist upon napping (well, the robotic equivalent) in your hand or pocket. They need to be close to you. In fact, they are much closer to you after that. Much more expressive and talkative, even more eager to help somehow, and now and again nudging and bumping into your hand to try and encourage you into touching them again.

Yes, it sounds wonderful. However if you were one of the lucky folks who got your hands on more than one of these models, you're now stuck with a small harem of robo pets whining and buzzing for your attention at any given moment. Small spats of jealousy when you spend more time with one rather than the other. Both you hands full any time you sit down to work because you simply must touch them again! You just gotta gotta gotta!

So yeah. Maybe your performance suffers a little, but when there's a dozen or so purring bots snuggled against your neck, resting in your pockets, cuddling together in your lap or cooing in your hand can you really complain about anything like that?