#weirdfirstpost

[malardotter]

My espresso gets it. He's being a bit pathetic, though.

[hymynie-jean]

Why Do I Apologize So Much?

I need to stop apologizing for everything. I don't cause all the world's problems, I don't make them worse, but I still have this weird guilt or feel personally responsible when people tell me about the things wrong in their life or terrible events. I'd say it's because I'm too empathetic, but even that doesn't excuse how many times I say, "I'm sorry."

I know when I've done something wrong, and that's when I rightfully send my apologies, but why am I stuck in this perpetual cycle of guilt that shouldn't even be mine? This article is one heck of a first article to post, but dammit, when you need to make a blog I guess you need to start off disturbing.

I'm not talking in a political sense because god knows I try not to get involved with the pettiness. But in the ways of just people being people, I easily feel like they need someone to help them heal. People don't really pay attention to other's feelings now and ignoring that people are human and need the same emotional reassurance that you most likely want is unfair is all.

I even apologize for having dumb moments like a human. Sometimes I have brain farts and maybe make fun of myself for the weird ones (but I laugh at the hilarious ones) but I shouldn't apologize for it. These moments of apologizing for everything are getting more frequent. I'm already introverted so talking doesn't come easy but going through these drawn out times of condolences is wearing me out. I already worry to high heaven but this has got to stop. I can't take the detrimental toll it takes on me each and every day. I lie awake at night and think about why I'm sorry for some of the things that I am and there are never good reasons for it. I hold back my tongue so that I don't hurt the people that I love but at what cost to myself? It's one of the main reasons I can't communicate properly in the first place! But I would at least like to get rid of this habit so I can breathe like I'm supposed too. Like I so desperately want to.