#well now he has someone to fanboy over xl with

[komaneko-kun]

part 1 of silly huafenglian comics as part of my agenda to convince others that they're pretty cool

[chibimuiwritesstuff]

Ex-MMA Fighter Xie Lian AU

A super random AU I thought up in the shower (because that’s where all our best thoughts come from). Essentially borne from my amusement at how Xie Lian, in his youth, was super obsessed with really good fighters (a tidbit that I feel goes woefully unmentioned in fandom and even by the author later in the novel). Posting because I need to get the idea out of my head and possibly actually start writing it.

(Also I don’t actually know anything about the MMA world, especially competitively - I just dabbled in Judo/Karate in my late teens, but that’s about it).

So basically. Imagine, XL is a super sweet but clumsy department head at Heavenly Officials Ltd. (I have no idea what kind of company this actually is, ideas are welcome), whom his staff all adore but also kind of worry for cuz omg is he super air headed and clutzy and fucking hopeless. Just the other week he managed to spill coffee all over his laptop--his third one of the year and it’s only March! But he is literally so nice, and despite his clumsiness is actually super competent at his job and his department always gets stellar results (what department are they? I have no clue, I know nothing about the corporate world).

What none of his staff/coworkers know is that their ridiculously clumsy boss used to be a champion mixed martial arts fighter in his university days. Or that he would even be interested in something as brutal as MMA cage matches since XL is a known pacifist who will go out of his way to catch bugs and place them safely outside when he has the time. But then one of the IT guys - in the process of fixing his laptop and restoring his hard drive finds a folder filled with videos and pictures of MMA cage matches all featuring the same fighter... you guessed it, Hua Cheng (I know MMA is not wrestling, but let’s pretend stage names are a thing in the competitive MMA world as well so HC is his fighter name in the arena)! The gossip spreads like wildfire, but everyone just thinks XL is just a fan of this ridiculously attractive fighter and don’t really think beyond that (although they do think it’s kind of adorable that XL  seems to be such a huge fanboy of this gorgeous, gorgeous man).

And the thing is - the staff have heard vague snippets from XL himself about his husband, “San Lang” who they have yet to meet because apparently he is often busy in the evenings and is therefore unable to attend corporate events. But they don’t make the connection that the adorable San Lang who cooks and pampers their boss could be the incredibly brutal and violent HC (his staff all decided to review some videos just to see who has captured their bosses interest and most of them are erm... quite surprised).

Then of course, someone does find out that SL and HC are the same person and this is when shit really hits the fan because the thing is - the staff generally knew that XL and his partner could be quite *ahem* adventurous and coupled with XL’s inherent clumsiness they had gotten used to seeing random marks and bruises on their boss that they probably shouldn’t be witness too, but whom he always insists are ‘nothing’. But when they learn that his partner is a potentially super violent MMA fighter his staff get awfully protective and worried because... could their boss be in an abusive relationship that they aren’t aware of???? This opinion is not helped by the fact that when they try to discretely ask FX and MQ about HC they ofc give some pretty bad impressions (because both of them can’t stand HC--but the feelings are pretty mutual).

So of course, they must staff an intervention! And a perfect opportunity comes up--as part of some charity event their company is partnering with the local MMA organization to hold a friendly exhibition charity match and surprise-surprise, they’re bringing in their big gun, HC and he’s apparently going to fight some old veteran whose fighter name is “His Royal Highness”. (google reveals a fighter who constantly wore a mask to hide his identity). This is their chance to meet the bosses partner and maybe subtle-y threaten him enough to let him know that their boss is cared for and they will protect him at all costs if necessary.

(side note: Feng Xin and Mu Qing don’t bother to correct anyone because a) they generally stay out of gossip surrounding XL because b) they respect Xie Lian’s privacy c) they hate talking about HC in any capacity and d) they have an on-going bet to see when ppl will learn their ‘adorable clumsy boss’ could theoretically take out an entire swat team without batting an eyelash if he really wanted to--he was nearly recruited to be a special ops agent, but anyway)

So. The day of the charity match arrives and XL is... nowhere to be found??? Perhaps he’s somewhere else, VIP seating with the CEO (Jun Wu) or something since HC is his partner after all. Anyway, they watch the fight and it’s... Wow. But also a bit different? HC doesn’t seem as wild or brutal as he seems from online videos, although there is still this energy that everyone can feel in the fight that they can’t really place. But wow is it a fight and in the end HC surprisingly loses????

Ref blows the whistle and the staff all clamber down hoping to get in a word with HC when they all stop short because “His Royal Highness” suddenly rips his mask off and flies into HC’s arm and... and is that THEIR BOSS???

Minds are blown. Jaws are dropped. The two of them are practically three seconds away from full-on making out on the cage floor before FX/MQ yell at them to “stop being fucking gross, you’re in public damn it” and then XL snaps out of it and remembers, oh right, his entire staff team from work is here and they all just scream at him and he’s just like ???? because... well...

He hadn’t been trying to keep this a secret at all?

But now that the cat is out of the bag he is super happy to introduce HC to everyone, and then hopefully drag his partner off to the nearest secluded space because half the reason XL retired was a) he was done uni and was offered a nice position by Jun Wu (CEO of HO Ltd) - who was also an ex-fighter and trained under the same master as XL so they know each other pretty well - so he had less time and b) he felt he had found his match with HC and so the thrill of fighting others wasn’t as big anymore and c) ...after getting together cage matches were just another form of foreplay and it made things rather... ah... difficult to say the least. So XL bowed out without any issue. HC stayed in the profession because he knows XL likes watching him fight :)

Also just because XL doesn’t compete anymore doesn’t mean they don’t still spar on the regular in private. There is just something about the atmosphere of competitive cage matches that just got their blood flowing more than just sparring on the side for fun (although that would often lead to sex afterwards too, but at least in that case there wasn’t an audience).

So. There you have it.