#what a fucking rotten ballsack i want 10 of him

[szivtalan]

i love you niragi i love you chishiya i love you arisu i love you narrative foils who up and try to murder each other,

[investnlord]

Favela

Hardcastle: ***

Trash.

Big smelly pile of it

Old fruit and rotten milk

Damp and hot in the tropical heat

You writhe around inside the dumpster

You're multi- thousand dollar suit ruined

Pull the rotten trash bag across you like a blanket to block out the cracks of light and traffic sounds

You are trash*

 Spaghetti: assess limb status^

 Hardcastle: 2 arms, 2 legs, 10 fingers, 9 toes

All there*

 Spaghetti: assess own species^

 Hardcastle: Hume*

 Spaghetti: excellent

it is i

the human

here to take ass and kick names

i want to get out of this dumpster

this hellhole

i want to feel

human again

remove trash bag

 Hardcastle: (rise)

 Spaghetti: assess clothing situation^

 Hardcastle: (RISE)

 Hardcastle: You sit up and flip a banana peel off your formerly immaculate shirt

You would look like a day-trader save for your filthy body and your missing shoes

You hear the cacophony of the noisy street beyond the alley

You notice the tan line on your wrist indicating your watch is gone*

 Spaghetti: hmm

maybe i've been robbed

boondoggled

left for dead

or at least dirty

either way i want my revenge

assess socio-economic situation

basically - which kind of food place am i going to here i got a powerful hunger and i don't think Tito's Valu-Meal leftovers is gonna cut it

jk haha he doesn't ever have leftovers

fatty fat-ass tito*

 Hardcastle: Big ol' Teets

You are in

Super poor town

The Favela

Where you eat off the…

Well…

napkin

 Spaghetti: man hmm ok

ok

let's hit

the bodega

where i will get

bodega food

exit dumpster, what's nearby^

 Hardcastle: The bodega

A man is playing street drums

Do you enter?*

 Spaghetti: fuck yeah street drums

LOVE me some street drums

i bust a move as i enter

the bodega^

 Hardcastle: That sweet sweet A/C hits you like ballsack

 Spaghetti: (i love.. cold ballsack)

 Hardcastle: neatly stacked piles of everyday items

A hairy man eyes you over a magazine

-flips-*

 Spaghetti: i don't like this guy

the way he eyes me

over his copy of Look magazine

i want my takis fuego corn chips

navigate to chip aisle^

 Hardcastle: You see all the crunchies

they have

los chips

frito lay

…

Marcas

portuguesas

Pringles

A dead dove

Cracker Jack

Whatever you need*

 Spaghetti: all of them

i need all of them

stuff them in my shitty shit shirt and run out

i have things to do!^

 Hardcastle: You fill up until you look like a waddling scuba diver

and you crinkle as you slip out the door

The man calls out to you

first annoyed

then furious

you hear more voices join him as you shuffle out the door

You stand on the hot sidewalk of a busy street

Children are kicking a hard- used futbol as a  car honks trying to idle past

Hookers smoke on the corn outside the bodega you just exited

A pharmacist across the street is yelling at a customer

As you finish panning the scene you feel the vice grip of a large hairy hand on your shoulder*

 Spaghetti: not on my watch

Offer him a single frito

High-tail

It*

 Hardcastle: He's startled as you pop the bag open

The frito smell wafts into the local atmosphere with that

sultry corn chip allure

Chochaco is taken aback by the sudden effrontery of having a single frito curl flicked at his gob

It bounces off his nose and a beautiful tropical crow snatches it inches about the sidewalk

This moment stretches out in text but you've already hot footed it a block by the time the indignity settles in

You hear yelling and samba

Something whizzes past your ear

 Spaghetti: (The frito?)

 Hardcastle: Followed by a hollow crack of a pistol shot*

 Hardcastle: (not a frito)

 Spaghetti: (Oh no)

 Spaghetti: Assess ear status^

 Hardcastle: (don't die in the favela Spaghetti)

 Spaghetti: (I'm getting the fuck out of this favela)

Spaghetti: (But I need to check on my ear)

Spaghetti: (It's my favorite ear)

  Hardcastle: Ear is like itchy

but not injured

He may not miss twice

You duck into an alley

Classic move

They run past thinking you're clever

You have a moment to breathe*

 Spaghetti: Cool ok

Totally eared up

Yeah boyo

Do a quick flex

Get the cool juices flowin

Cuz I'm onto

the whores

Take me to the whore bodega!^

 Bourbon: (Spaghetti why are you using a caret)

Bourbon: (where is the traditional *)

 Spaghetti: (Idk I can go back)

Spaghetti: (I prefer the traditional)

 Bourbon: (no i mean whatever i was just curious)

 Spaghetti: (I was confusing it for when we do a three way

Spaghetti: I see that it is just the two of us and I can do what is right)

 Spaghetti: Take me to the whore bodega!*

 Hardcastle: You kinda sneak back onto the main drag

Crinkling all the way you chip hoarding slut

criminal

You head back to the currently unoccupied scene of the crime

Hoes be hoe'in

A big booty with bangs clicks her tongue and beckons you over

You into it?*

 Spaghetti: I am the chip slut

And I've come for my whores!

I think I'm into it

How grand is the Kiester?*

 Hardcastle: Oh man

You ever go to the pumpkin patch

It's just poised there

I mean those booty shorts must be

stressin'

 Spaghetti: (Are they even shorts)

 Hardcastle: (They're riding too high)

 Hardcastle: She's running her bejeweled hand up and down your stomach all hola

The chips are turning into more chips and those chips are turning into dust

 Spaghetti: (RP chat gettin racy)

Spaghetti: (nice)

 Hardcastle: She's wanting to take this upstairs to negotiate

 Hardcastle: (We've been here before actually)

 Hardcastle: The street is eerily quiet

People darting inside

Western movie style

What do you do?*

 Spaghetti: This is a god damn stick up

I never found my lot in life

Never figured out my purpose

But

I feel like I remember my.. ancestors?

Father

Dad

Telling me

go with the whore

I go upstairs*

 Hardcastle: Hell

Yes

Aight she's all leading you

Over to the door

with the stairs that go up up up

into the dumpy hole of this bad neighborhood

you feel the heat of midday and your garbage shirt is sticking to your pits and low back

nasty

a bag of chips slips to the ground you filthy animal

do you bend to snag it up or do you press on with the lady (ha)?*

 Spaghetti: Dad never said it'd go like this

But here I am

Shirt from yesterday's binge

Cheetohs from today's cringe

Fuck it

Man what she know the difference

aight*

 Hardcastle: (so... so you press on)

Hardcastle: (you leave the chips)

Hardcastle: (right?)

 Spaghetti: I wish to press the chips onto her

 Hardcastle: (so you go with her)

 Spaghetti: There's no one to trust not even my brain

i go with Flo*

 Hardcastle: Aight okay we're going with that

You step over the bag and it disappears from your life forever

but there are more

you took a lot of chips no wonder dude was pissed off

thief liar

…sinner

She's into it though you can tell you're totally getting a discount

not sure about the food play but whatever man

let's see

She takes you into a little knocking shop- looking corner and just grinds that big booty on your chips

the crinkling drives you insane

She gets a handful of frito dust and blows it in your face

 Spaghetti: (this is what a preteen thinks sex is like)

 Hardcastle: As you clear your eyes you see a man- willowy, blond, in a white suit with gold framed aviators

A semi-automatic pistol in his waistband visible as he reclines watching the show

He's grinning a big ol' evil grin but says nothing

There is a very loud banging on the door beside you. Someone who is pissed and wants in. What do you do?*

 Hardcastle: (shit sorry that's so much)

 Spaghetti: Uhh

Man

This is a dude

flo is nowhere to be found

This guy looks familiar

I look at him

"Dad?"

I open the door*

 Hardcastle: In flies Sr. Bodega

All 300 hairy lbs

 Spaghetti: (Fuck)

 Hardcastle: He is

FURIOUS

roaring at you just

garbled speech making no sense

his spittle sprays you and more frito salt stings your nostrils

aunt flo booty has split

parts unknown maybe a trapdoor

who knows how hookers do this

Big man (although he certainly isn't large) is just chucking maniacally at being called "Dad"

Sr. Bodega is choking the fuck out you slamming your head into a wall

Mr. Blond says something in Portuguese and the bodega giant hesitates and looks back at him

and at the semi-automatic which has materialized in his hand

Before you know it he's out of the chair and across the room caving the ogre's nose in

There's scream and wail as Blond looks to you and drops the shades

"Been looking for you, man"

"All over"

"Shit... sorry you got your cock blocked"

His eyes widen like a terrified whippet "Do you want to finish him off?"

He offers you the ivory handled .45*

 Spaghetti: Fuck

Spaghetti: I ain't never iced a dude before

Spaghetti: I don't think I..

Spaghetti: hah

Spaghetti: Fuck

Spaghetti: Aim

Spaghetti: Fire*

 Hardcastle: Oh shiiiiiiiiiiii-

You snatch the gun from B-Bro's hand

He titters like a madman as you place it to the screaming man's dome

and pull the trigger

Blond pats his knees and stands to leave

He beckons for you to follow

You see out of a corner window blind there is a large black Escalade outside*

 Hardcastle: (Question here is do you follow?)

 Spaghetti: I don't think this is my dad

But I sure ain't got a lot of choice

Follow the man*

 Hardcastle: He leads you down and into the Escalade

The A/C blasts you Mr. Freeze and you smell yourself against the rich Corinthian leather

Trashman

Who murdered a chip vendor in cold blood

 Spaghetti: (Look)

Spaghetti: (Ok?)

Spaghetti: (Ok)

 Hardcastle: As the vehicle rolls away you see the flames licking up the side of the building

Another trash fire in the favela

You are moving to the {Heist}

{Heist} will dehumanize yourself and face to the bloodshed

 Spaghetti: (See here I think I won)

 Hardcastle: Mr. Blond takes his pistol back

 Spaghetti: (We pulled off the Great Crisp Caper)

 Hardcastle: and wipes the blood with a hanky

He's got something much bigger for you*

 Hardcastle: ***