#whatsintheinbox

[antiterf]

i keep hearing anti-trans people citing studies claiming that trans men who take testosterone always get pelvic floor dysfunction and now i'm afraid to take testosterone

TW: This post has a lot of talk specifically of genitalia and reproductive healthcare, with specific focus on cis women since that's where the research is. It's important to know but I want to give a fair warning for dysphoria.

It's weird that you sent this legitimately when I was looking for stats on that. This is oddly convenient. That never happens.

Pelvic floor dysfunction is incredibly common and while it can get to a point of being severe (prolapse) it's usually constipation, straining, bladder control and regarding mostly AFAB people, pain during vaginal sex.

From what research there is, it does seem that pelvic pain is incredibly common with trans men on testosterone. There's also not a pre and post testosterone question which... should be important. There's also no control group.

There is a recent study that reports that 94.1% of trans men have PFD, but it seems to be lower quality. I'm not saying that to try and completely dismiss it. There's no control group when it would be completely doable for this sort of study. They also don't ask if these symptoms had occurred prior to starting hrt or after.

(Sorry sci hub doesn't have it)

So we can't be positive, but what evidence we do have points to trans men having pelvic pain and PFD while on hrt. Both are honestly really general, and don't inherently mean that prolapse will happen (or "Your vagina will fall out, into the toilet, and you'll flush it down and never get it back. Then you die." Which I'm being partially satirical with that but wouldn't be shocked if some transphobe tried using it).

PFD is treatable with therapy and medication, sometimes surgery, but usually its not needed. There are plenty of trans men and trans mascs who use vaginal estrogen cream to help with dryness and atrophy. PFD is, again, common:

For women of childbearing age, PFD and POP are very common, and 65.8% of women over 40 years report at least one complaint of sexual dysfunction.

And it's likely you'll get it at some point regardless of starting HRT or not.

It's honestly upsetting that such a common, treatable, issue is described as apocalyptic. Like, it's still an important issue to be aware of, and in the studies I link there is mention of participants getting a hysterectomy specifically for pelvic pain. There are a lot of unknowns or barely knowns we have to accept when we start HRT. But don't let people tell you that the worst possible scenario will happen or give you fear mongered healthcare.

If it helps, I fall into the group of PFD and have for my entire life due to IBS. When it comes to intercourse, I do bleed a lot more easily, but often it's just being lubricated. I also take lactobacillus as a probiotic, which is the bacteria that we usually have less of compared to cis women while on hrt. Mainly because it's the best probiotic one for my ibs, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's also helped with vaginal health.

I hope this stuff helps!

[antiterf]

inch resting that you call yourself "anti terf" and yet have no problems with reblogging from blatant transmisogynists 🤔

If this was in good faith, you would've named the person(s) and given me an example so that way I could stop following them and stop sharing their content. If you think that's not worth your time, then neither was this ask.

[antiterf]

Like other minorities don't headcannon characters like that as well.

"Obsessive attempts to seek validation and reassurance" "oh, you want to have some feeling of support? Loser." I'm sorry you can't sympathize with people wanting representation so they try to make their own. This isn't only a trans thing, this happens for different sexualities along with disability as well.

it’s funny when TRAs throw around statements like, “this fictional character HATES terfs! >:)” like it’s some kind of sick burn, as if they don’t constantly project their own personal gender ideas and weirdly specific trans headcanons onto various fictional characters created by other people in obsessive attempts to seek validation and reassurance.

[antiterf]

The organisation is called Women's March

Thank you!

[antiterf]

I do want to hear the transphobic ex-ex-friend story if you want to share

I do! Especially since both of us acknowledged that we're exceptions to each other association wise (he wouldn't bother with the queer theory transgender and I wouldn't with the evangelical libertarian).

Basically we both met in our "be open to new people" phase and he met me as my identified gender because he decided to go to the school GSA. Don't remember why, it was probably because he was offered food. But that was the Only place I was out. Since my name is gender neutral, he assumed it was my birth name, and by the time he learned it wasn't we were close enough where he wouldn't call me my dead name and I'd stop talking to him.

But since I met him there, I assumed he was safe and probably gay or something. So yeah uh... very specific circumstances to us meeting each other.

When I realized he wasn't, I was still seeped with internalized transphobia and liked talking to him (like, I started walking home with him instead of taking the bus because he lives basically around the corner and how much I liked talking to him).

But I knew that he was trying to find a way to convince me out of being trans, and I was a transmed at the time and fell heavily on the being miserable staying cis and how I find those people with crazy genders weird. You know, trying to get tolerance.

But then I started T and he freaked out about it. I didn't know that's what he was freaking out about, I thought he just couldn't stand being so close to a trans person, but I digress. It wasn't helped by the fact that he was how I learned that I'm bi and not straight. That and, he hasn't acknowledged it for a bit, but the first few times we talked about it after talking again, he found me a bit cute too. Because of course you're going to find someone cute if you cuddle with them (his logic, I was like "eh, not sure about that one").

But yeah, he cut me off without explanation and there were a few instances in class where there was significant tension. Besides the weird essay he sent me over text "I had a dream, you were looking at me, and you said 'call me by my name'" was particularly what another friend read out loud before laughing.

I brought this up with him recently and he made a heavy sigh "I knew you were going to bring that up" - but at the beginning of the cut off we had a sub in class and he was given the list of names to read. He read everyone's out, first and last, except for mine, where he only did last. By this point my preferred name was used in class (2 years had gone by) and I stood up out of my desk after he finished and asked him why he didn't say my first name. I think I may have repeated myself a few times as he was silent, and I was on that line between assertive and aggressive in tone. He sat back down, and after a bit of staring on my end, I did too.

Beside that I was confused because he actually sent the long text of why days after he flat out said he wasn't going to talk to me anymore. So I'd walk up behind him and be like "hey, hey, hey, you wanna say something?" Up until then.

I actually reported him because another trans guy he ended up crushing on, and still lives in his head rent fucking free, wanted to but was nervous. Since I had screenshotted him saying slurs, I went with for support and added evidence. At least one other trans person was just specifically closeted around him to avoid getting shit.

I graduate high school and he's out of my life. I block him because he was only unblocked so I could get a sign that he's going to do something.

Now, its important to point out that this is what slapped me in the face and made me stop being a truscum/transmed. This taught me that no matter what you say or do, you're only tolerated, not accepted, and that could end at any time. And it only cost me my senior year and some scholarships that I was too depressed to apply to.

Three years pass, my little sister graduates high school. I remember that his little sister is in the same year, and know he'll be there because he'd want to support her. I'm honestly hoping that I see him but also that I don't. I missed talking to him, like, it was stimulating. I wasn't the one who broke it off though, and I didn't want to try to reach out to someone who, you know, treated me like shit.

Graduation ceremony from the students slapped by the way. It was neoliberal "succeed no matter what! You can do anything!" And the elected student speakers went up there after doing two years of online school and said "This has been hard, and you should know that you don't have to be the perfect everything, you can be average, you can just enjoy life" and those 18 year olds had more wisdom than any of the other adults on that podium.

ANYWAY

While taking pictures with my family my mom just goes "he's staring at you" and I'm confused before she points him out, alone, staring at me.

The normal response would be fear or creeped out. But he's just like that. He just does that, he didn't change much... I was also standing there with my family to be fair.

I waved at him and we talked and it was basically "I'm sorry and I missed talking to you" and catching up with each other. I made sure he was unblocked and we've been talking since.

He got less transphobic, but I'm guilty because now he holds truscum shit. But he rarely goes into it, or challenges queer stuff in general, because he's aware that I know way more about it than he does. Which I had to point out but hey that's still better than most people.

Most of our conversations are being annoying to each other or edgy from the other persons point of view (he calls me a heretic, it means nothing to me. I call him transphobic, it means nothing to him. We both agree with each other that we are, in fact, these things, but we don't personally hold value to them). We have respect in our disrespect for one another, we're both okay with being what the other person finds cringe. Both of us know at the end of the day we both care for each other.

Most of us hanging out in person as of now is cuddling and watching anime.

[antiterf]

what does the name sleepingsatan mean

My friend once went through my contacts and changed the names to stupid shit. My mom's was changed to sleeping satan because the picture for her was her sleeping with a cat being an awkward loaf on top of her.

I started using it for my url on my main and general usernames because if you woke me up from a nap, I got pissed off and was mean about it. Sleepingsatan as in "don't wake him up, he's a dick when you do that." For instance, the same friend woke me up, and I had to hold back from cussing him out when that was my immediate instinct upon waking up. I had anger issues in general and was tired a lot too.

As of now, though, I'm just tired a lot. I could say the satan part still stands because I'm queer and grew up in an Evangelical area, but I mainly keep using it because I haven't had a better idea.

[antiterf]

The way to get people to stop asking others if they are trans is to make them look like fucking idiots when they do it. I kept getting invaisive queations about if I was a woman by some random lady and if I was trans so I acted dumb and told her she was being weird as fuck and I don't know what trans is

I'm usually incredibly open about being trans so I've never tried that, but it would definitely work most of the time.

Basically act like a cis person, as in a person who's gender is never questioned by society and it should be painstakingly obvious to everyone else.

[antiterf]

losing my mind at the people who are saying 'sex based clothes' exist as if anyone with a bank account can go and buy clothes from whatever section of the store they want?

Seriously like yeah "sex based" as in you need to modify boxers or boxer briefs to put in a pad but mainly they're like that because women are expected to be feminine and wear women's clothing and vice versa for men.

It's just a bunch of people going "well actually" and looking like the same people who'll scream at a man for wearing a skirt.

[antiterf]

'Sex isn't binary'. How? I really am trying to come at you in good faith and I do appreciate that you're taking the time to answer despite our opposing views but when you say shit like 'sex isn't binary' and you don't care about female class consciousness how am I supposed to to take you seriously or believe that you know what you're talking about. And explain how sex isn't binary WITHOUT bringing up intersex conditions or clownfish, please.

You can't say that sex isn't binary without bringing up intersex people because they're the main ones impacted by it. Its like mentioning that gender isn't binary without mentioning trans people. (In fact, seeing abortion as only related to women or female people and wording it that way can harm them plenty too). Just because intersex people are "rare" (more than double the amount of the trans population) doesn't mean their existence can be swept under the rug.

Even if you count being intersex as a disorder of some sort, it's covered by disability activists as a natural variation still. They are not an abnormality of the human condition, and when it comes to talking about sex, they shouldn't be treated as such. Especially when intersex surgeries are an enormous issue that results from not being seen as "normal."

There are also varsex people, and that's where I fit in:

Varsex is an umbrella term that covers all sex variations that aren't conformant to the societal and cultural ideals or roles of sex (or sex conformancy/conformance, conformity/conformism). Includes psycholgical, skeletal, phenotypic, etc sex.

Growing facial hair for instance isn't seen as "normal" for the female sex. While I'm not exactly sure what the definition means by psychological (maybe something like the phantom penis thing for trans men), the definition explains that there are people that generally fall outside of what is typically expected for their sex.

But honestly, I'm a Tumblr blogger so you may find this to be better:

It focuses on why sex isn't binary in an actual medical sense compared to a societal sense. I linked the sci-hub version because only the abstract was available otherwise.

And lastly, I've been doing research to make an interphobia prejudice scale and have all the articles I've found helpful so far here. I'm not speaking out of my ass when I say that intersex people struggle regarding not completely fitting into the strictly defined terms of sex. I'm not saying that they're automatically some sort of third sex, that's up to the person to decide for themselves. I'm also not trying to say that they're any less of the sex they say they are. The differences just matter regarding societal pressure, acceptance, and receiving good medical care.

[antiterf]

I love that they're "sex-based clothing exists" like no honey, those are called different kinds of cuts, that's why we call them womens cut and mens cut shirts, not "female shirts" and "male shirts" ffs

I'm gonna answer two asks in one hold on

You mean people like this anon.

It's definitely different cuts. Mens clothes fit me just fine even pre T, I didn't know issue with chest size was even a thing since I was (maybe still am? Who knows) a B cup and wore sports bras. My body type went from having little options to a shit ton. I changed to mens jeans because of the hip thing and they helped with dysphoria a lot.

And if they are sexed, then am I of the male sex if these clothes fit me better? Well no, not to the people claiming that misgendering me is using "sex based pronouns."

[antiterf]

Terfs are going after a Canadian teacher and trans woman named Kayla Lemieux very viciously rn please speak up in support. Because she’s a little out there she is getting none.

I think she should tone down on the breast size, it seems like they get in the way in a wood workshop class, but I definitely don't support the misgendering and calling her a predator.

If we're going by standards that breasts are sexual and that the dress code for women is reasonable, then yeah, it's inappropriate. I'm not a conservative though, and I really don't think this would be brought to a national scale to global scale if she wasn't trans.

I hope she's fairing well, the fact that the only news sources that report it misgender her and call her gross and disgusting can't be good for her well being.

[antiterf]

I feel like it's really ableist/racist to use "internal reproductive organs." I work with women with little education, are ESL, or have severe learning disabilities. They know what "women" means, but no idea what "people with internal reproductive organs" means. You're sacrificing clarity for a small minority of people.

You kind of just threw racist in there champ.

But as a disabled person myself, it can also be ableist to ignore that many women don't have those organs. Sometimes accommodating one disability will make something worse for another (bright lights for those who have trouble seeing are terrible to those with photophobia for instance).

The reason why that poster exists is also to minimize distress that many people find to be irrational and to give quality healthcare to those whose bodies don't fit the norm. It's not to make things unnecessarily complicated, it exists for a good reason. It's not like law documents that make things almost impossible to understand to keep it unaccessible.

To accommodate those needs though, it could be added that those organs are common in women. At the same time, I don't know the context for it. It's meant for a specific audience to read and usually if the practitioners have any indication of the gender identity being a woman, they'll ask those questions anyway. It's a normal sized piece of paper on a bare wall, we need to factor in how the practitioners act as well.

And honestly, as a disabled person, I appreciate allyship, but we both know why you're sending this.

[antiterf]

Why is it always only women who remove functioning body parts, but not men? Women remove their breasts but a man that transitions becomes ”a woman with a penis”. Why don’t women transition and become ”a man with breasts”?

I mean I want to keep my vagina so comparing top surgery to bottom surgery isn't exactly fair (like... its extra breast tissue vs multiple organs).

Cis men will get mascectomies for discomfort of having bigger chests and no one bats an eye yet I do it and suddenly "oh nooo you're removing a healthy organ :(" when it's not even a full organ! It's tissue! A bilateral mastectomy is literally the removal of breast tissue, not every single part of the breast. I get if you think that's a "well actually" but if you're going to uphold the breast as a complex organ made up of multiple tissues then you need to recognize that its more than just breast tissue.

And there are trans men who don't want top surgery so... there are men with breasts like there are men with vaginas and women with penises. Cool huh?

[antiterf]

So females are "a sex that produces offspring" but "females who dont produce offspring are still women"????

Yep "because their body was supposed to have that purpose, it's just disordered" which is a good mix of misogyny and ableism that I've actually seen before.

[antiterf]

if sex is a social construct then we can stop this medical transition nonsense. transwomen need to stop complaining about how they don’t have access to hormones since that’s just a social construct, they don’t need it. they just need to fix their mindset

Social constructionist theory deems everything to be a social construct.

What you said is like saying that disability is a social construct then we don't need accessibility and get over ourselves. If clothes are socially constructed then we need to stop wearing them. Same thing with flesh, as that's also socially constructed concept. And bones.

Another part of social constructionalist theory is that once you identify that thing as an object, you can't go back to seeing it as only a thing. You can't get yourself to forget something, you can't remove that knowledge from yourself.

So no, you just don't know what you're talking about.

[antiterf]

Recently had a very confused coworker ask "So when are you starting to transition."

"Ive been on testosterone for 4 years what do you mean?"

"Why would you take that if you want to be a woman?"

"I like your spirit but youve got me a little backwards i think"

My favorite thing used to be when other classmates would debate what my gender was - before testosterone that was very gender affirming lmao

Congrats! You've gotten to the point where you are mistaken for the other flavor of trans!

My classmates pretty much knew for the most part because if you go to the same elementary school together and don't move away, you're gonna go to the same high school at one point. But that sounds pretty fun ngl.