#when Finn takes off his helmet Poe's gaze immediately drops to Finn's mouth while he talks -- he's lipreading!

[sheliesshattered]

we’ve made it to Episode VII of our Star Wars marathon, and I’ve suddenly faceplanted into a brand new headcanon:

Poe Dameron has auditory processing disorder 

(just like me)

[numinex919]

After Crait - Chapter 6

This chapter is dedicated to my Blood Sisters of the Thirst Order - @raven-maiden, @delia-pavorum, @newerconstellations, @kitten-the-cat and @strawberrycupcakehuckleberrypie thank you for the #sparkles! (@raven-maiden I left the art alone, too lazy to change it! :D).

He has to see her.

Face to face.

He doesn’t know why. Liar.

It has simply become as necessary as . . . breathing.

When he’s not with her, he’s unbalanced, swinging between rage and softness, weakness he can’t handle. It’s getting harder to control himself. He needs more of her . . . her touch, her scent, her company, even her anger. All of it.

“Supreme Leader, I believe we should establish a covert presence on Felucia. Despite the report you found nothing there, my spies are never wrong.” Hux barely controls his disdain, his top lip pulls into a sneer.

The cracks are showing and Ben wonders how long it will be before the general stages a coup.

He swings around to impale the man with a stare. “Really?”

Hux shifts nervously in his seat before glancing around the table for support and finding none from the other men seated there.

“General, why are you obsessed with using valuable resources to chase down a handful of individuals who have no base, no allies and no resources? Don’t you feel we should be focused on the task of ensuring the rest of the galaxy runs smoothly?”

“With respect, Supreme Leader, the Resistance has been a thorn in the First Order’s side for too long. We must stamp out the last of them or run the risk they garner support and rise again.” Zealotry glows in Hux’s gaze.

This is beyond rage or hatred, and Kylo can only stare wordlessly at the man’s commitment, which borders on insanity and is all the more dangerous because of its fervor.

Premonition creeps up his spine. Rey is in danger. His thoughts, so scattered of late, come together and find a cold focus.

“As you appear to think these lingering remnants of the Resistance are a clear and present threat to the might of the First Order, then it is obvious I need to give this more attention than I initially thought it warranted.”

Hux gazes at him and he can feel the man’s mind scrambling to see where this might lead. “Supreme Leader . . .”

“General Hux, I shall personally return to Felucia and root out the last of the Resistance, if they are indeed present on the planet.”

Hux jerks straight in his chair. “Sir—“

Ben cuts off the protest with a raised hand, rare amusement warming him as the general flinches. “My full attention, general.”

Kylo’s blood heats at the idea of bending all of his concentration to Rey, her smooth skin, silky hair, her determination and strength. His breath catches.

“Captain Peavey, you will assist the general in my absence.”

“Yes sir.”’

Ben stands and Hux shoots to his feet, his agitation finally overcoming his control. “Supreme Leader! I must protest. You cannot just leave your position vacant to chase after a band of Resistance fighters.”

Kylo turns, raises his hand and this time Hux actually grabs his neck. “You said yourself, general that the Resistance still pose a threat. Have you been wasting my time with inaccurate reports?” He suspects grandfather would have been proud at his chilling tone and deadly control.

The pressure on Hux’s windpipe is light, but his own rank fear causes him to choke on his reply. “N-no sir.”

“And, general?”

As Kylo waits for Hux to gather himself enough to answer, a dark figure enters the room.

“Yes, sir?”

“I won’t be leaving my position vacant.” Kylo gestures to the robed and masked individual. “One of my Knights will remain here in my absence.”

Hux flicks a nervous glance at the Knight of Ren. “Yes, Sir.”

Kylo stalks out, his Knight hard behind. After a few paces an amused voice, modulated by the mask worn by the owner fills the silence of the empty hall. “You know he plans to usurp you. But this objective of yours clearly has more weight.”

Kylo stops abruptly and turns to stare at his companion. The Force rolls between them as his control slips. “Do not question me. I am still Master of the Knights of Ren.”

“I see. Then consider the subject dropped.” Silence reigns for a moment as they resume their walk.

The masked face of his companion turns to him. “For the moment.”

* * *

“Reports indicate, well, they indicate that there is growing stability amongst the remaining systems.” See-Threepio sounds as surprised as those around the table look.

“Can’t be true.” Poe dismisses the droid’s report with a wave of his hand.

“Sir, I beg to differ. Almost all system representatives who’ve met with the new Supreme Leader have reported that his position on issues and his responses to problems has been remarkably . . . balanced.”

Rey casts a quick glance at Leia and while her expression remains impassive, there is a sense rolling off her of amused pride.

Shock tingles along her spine. Does Leia actually believe Ben is capable of ruling the galaxy in a just way while head of a despotic regime?

When it’s so clear he will not turn?

As she gazes at the general, it occurs to her that Ben comes from a female line used to governing and more than capable of political savvy. After all, his grandmother was a queen and senator, his mother a princess and senator who has successfully lead both a rebellion and a resistance.

Hope, so hard to extinguish even after their showdown in the throne room, flickers inside her. The growing sexual awareness between them hasn’t blinded her to the fact that from a moral standpoint, they are on vastly different paths.

Confusion clouds her thoughts and the rest of the meeting passes in a blur. As they finish however, a few things are very clear.

Poe Dameron is determined to continue building the Resistance, even amidst reports the First Order’s new leader does not seem intent on enslaving the peoples of the galaxy and is actually quite . . . reasonable.

Leia is torn between this news of her son, and the awareness that there could be deeper things at play here. Rey can also sense a burgeoning concern for Poe’s attitude.

Rey needs to see Ben and find out if the reports are true and . . .

his mouth on hers, his powerful hands cupping her shoulders, big body dominating the space between her thighs . . .

No! This is not about the attraction.

She wishes she remained in blissful ignorance. Though now, looking back, she can see it was there through every exchange. Even at Starkiller Base, the first time he took off his helmet and she was confronted, not with a monster, but a man who compelled and confused her so much that she simply couldn’t sort out her conflicting emotions.

So she chose anger and then compassion and all the while ignored her attraction, refusing to recognize the pull as more than something to do with their mutual Force abilities.

She needs more time to sort out the tangle of her thoughts and to resist the desires, which cloud her judgment.

No wonder the Jedi eschewed attachment.

“Rey?” Leia’s concern flows over her. “Are you okay?”

She snaps from her introspection to find the older woman gazing at her and it hits her forcefully where Ben got not only his dark eyes from, but the piercing intensity and the softness.

His mother’s boy.

Overwhelming sadness washes through her as she suddenly recognizes, really recognizes how much Ben and his parents have lost.

Leia clasps her arm, obviously sensing the powerful tide of emotion and Rey makes an effort to centre herself.

“I’m fine. Just tired.” She doesn’t feign the shiver. “I’m struggling to get used to the cold after Jakku.”

Leia stares a moment more, then nods. “Why don’t you go on the next supply run to Felucia? We need that shipment of coaxium, it’s only a small amount, so it should be a fairly simple trip, or at least, only as complicated as you make it.”

Rey can feel her brow knot as her gaze snaps to the general. The Force hums with meaning she can’t quite decipher.

“Do you suspect something, general?”

Leia shakes her head and smiles. “I have no intel to suggest you’ll meet with any major trouble, though I guess it depends on what you define as trouble.”

Despite her enquiring stare, the general won’t be drawn, though amusement has returned to that dark gaze, making Rey realize how sad Leia had been.

“See-Threepio, see that Rey is assigned to the supply run to Felucia immediately.” The general turns to Lieutenant Connix who is waiting patiently at her elbow.

The meeting has broken up and Rey makes her way back to her quarters to prepare for the trip to Felucia.

Excitement clenches her gut and she takes a moment to breath deeply through the swirls of anticipation. She’s well aware it’s not the opportunity of getting away from Rhen Var’s icy chill that is the cause.

There is no way Ben is still on Felucia.

She’s well aware he’s returned to the Finalizer. Intel said he’d had meetings with representatives from Balamak, a Mid Rim planet that had suffered under both the Empire and the First Order.

She packs the few things she’ll need. They’ll stay overnight in Felucia to avoid suspicion.

It’s a quick walk to the hangar and onto the ship.  She passes Finn on the way, there’s only time for a quick update on Rose’s condition and a hug before she boards the shuttle.

As they make the trip, she gazes out the window and can’t suppress the churning mix of anticipation and dread tightening her stomach and making her breathing short and choppy.

He won’t be there.

Even her quelling thoughts aren’t enough to help calm her.

It’s only when they reach Felucia’s bustling central marketplace and there’s no sign of First Order TIE pilots, indeed much FO presence at all, that disappointment makes her heart sink.

The brutal realization that she is desperate to see him again washes over her. Not only is it a betrayal of the paths they’ve chosen, but of her friends.

He is the enemy. Worse, he’s the leader of the First Order.

She’s a traitor in so many ways and yet she’s still scanning the thronging crowds for any sign of a tall, dark figure.

“Don’t worry, FO presence is light. Most of it is concentrated around the shuttle landing sites.” Sogr glances around, searching for their contact.

Rey’s guilt makes her stomach churn as they move through the quarter until the Mandalorian nudges her again. “I’ll go to the next street over, you keep to this one. The Sullastan shouldn’t be too hard to find.”

He moves away and she continues on until the marketplace splits. Taking the left path she follows it as the both crowds and stalls thin out and the hum of the marketplace becomes distant. Here, the odd inhabitant escapes the burgeoning mid-morning warmth under the shady areas created by second story balconies.

The Force crackles at the same moment her arm is grasped and she is tugged into a patch of shadow under one of the spaces.

Before she meets the intense gaze she knows who it is. The Force is a living thing, moving and shifting with emotion, energy, life. Ben is wearing casual clothes, albeit in his usual black, but the attire is as unexpected as his presence and for a moment, she can’t speak.

But only a moment.

“What are you doing here?” Her tone is snappy and slightly outraged, though her heart tells a different story, thumping heavily in her chest as her gaze flicks over him.

“I came to see you.”

There’s a vulnerability in his tone that tugs at her heart and pricks at her temper, she doesn’t want to feel things for him, she’s already in too deep.

“Why? Hoping to get intel on the Resistance?”

His head jerks back a little before his mouth works, a sure sign he’s biting back on his emotions.

“I already know all I need to about your Resistance.” His tone carries a hint of temper and it’s obvious he was expecting a different response from her.  

She can feel it through the Bond too, a mix of anger, hope and need that twists and bucks like an out of control speeder.

“What do you want, Ben?” She’s suddenly tired, but still annoyed.

At the power he has with her, over the fact he’s all she’s been thinking about, at the overwhelming mix of complex emotion filling her.

She waits and when he answers her, with a kind of desperation she recognizes, all the more potent because she feels it too, and her world is blown apart.

“I want more.”