#when they call in asking for more and zim obliges LOL

[elitespacefreak]

*slams fists on table* @fruk-choosing-a-username I mean if ya like Zim being a bartender then I guess I’ll just have to oblige you

Everything is space themed. He absolutely 100% had to find a place that was aaallll space. It makes him feel way more comfortable at work because it gets super stressful.

That being said, the green skin totally sells him. The other bartenders think he has this weird cosplay skin paint thing he does before coming to work. This theory lasts about a week before they’re convinced it’s impossible to keep that up for so long and eventually they’re just like ‘oh yea he’s the resident alien lol’ because space bar. Zim thinks it’s hilarious. ‘yep that’s me, can’t have a space bar without the aliens’

So all the drinks are space themed, right? Well if anyone asks for something personal, like a signature drink, he’s got a handful of shit he could pull. The Meekrob. Plookesian Paradise. Agent Mothman. Space Jackers. The Invader. Sunset on Irk. Sex in Space. Like his own mini menu.

Dib, now drinking age, ofc has to go to the space bar. It’s probably called like The Astro Lounge or some shit, but cheesy or not it’s space, so he has to go. Walks in, sees Zim, points all bug-eyed, and when one of the bartenders tells him ‘oh yeah, lol, he’s the alien haha’ Dib just fuckin loses it. He gets super drunk and just stares angrily at Zim all night trying to tell everyone ‘no, it’s not a gimmick, he’s a real alien!’

Also, Zim doesn’t tolerate bullshit. If he sees someone fuck with someone’s drink, he calls them the fuck out. Loud and clear. “Hey, can I have everyone’s attentions please? Just wanted to let you all know this piece of shit right here just roofied someone’s drink. That is all.” and then immediately makes the victim another drink while taking every opportunity to flip off the offender until security kicks them out. He keeps tabs on troublemakers and points them out as soon as he recognizes them.

I love the idea of shitty karaoke, okay? But also drunk girls trying to get up on his counter dancing and he just fuckin ‘gET YOUR DRUNK ASS OFF MY COUNTER before I sHOOT YOU INTO THE NEXT FUCKING G A L A X Y’

On Halloween he drops the disguise completely and he’s surprised (and horrified) at how many people don’t seem to bat a fuckin eyelash. He can go to work without pretending to be human and it’s such a nice break and genuinely has a good day and also makes extra tips.

But also he realizes how fucked up people are because he literally has girls look him dead ass in the eyes and say ‘maybe it’s because I’m drunk but i dunno ur pretty hot’ and he just turns and leaves and spends his fifteen minute break staring at a wall in abject horror and concern.

Bars and clubs and things are too loud for Gaz for the type of scene, but she has to go once just to know that Dib isn’t fucking with her and she’s so taken aback by it all that she orders like three drinks and sits in a corner to watch in utter fascination. She decides the gig suits Zim because he’s allowed to be loud and flashy and talk with his weird speech patterns without anyone suspecting a thing.

He’s also been banned from playing trivia night because he’s knows way more about space than literally any human. They just let him host instead because sometimes he’s funny and people really dig the resident alien gimmick.

tl;dr bartender Zim is my new jam