#when we thought s2 would be nice with venji in love

[lovevenji-endgame]

Those new stills are not bringing me any confidence about the season. I hope that they are as misleading as the ones they put out for s2

[alexguerinss]

title: i can’t imagine, i can’t imagine my life without you

summary: post s2 finale. i needed venji to make up, so this happened. 

ao3 link

“Hi,” Victor greets with a smile as the door to Benji’s house opens. Benji’s mom stands in front of him with one eyebrow raised, looking at Victor in shock.

Victor knows he messed up. Both of them did. They made comments that hurt, trust was broken, and he knew he had to be the one to take the first step to fix it.

“Hi, Mrs. Campbell. Can I talk to Benji?” He watches as she bites her lip and nods, opening the door even further to let him in.

Smiling at her briefly, he watches as she looks at her husband in the living room before turning back to Victor.

“He’s upstairs,” Victor nods and starts walking up the steps but stops when he hears Benji’s mom speak up again. “Please don’t break his heart.”

Victor nods, trying to smile again, but it comes out more like a grimace before taking the steps upstairs two at a time. He can faintly hear Benji playing guitar and singing. The door to his bedroom is slightly open, giving Victor a chance to listen to him play without knowing he’s there.

Benji’s voice is soft, Victor muses. Most likely so he won’t annoy his parents with his music.

He waits until he is met with silence from the other side of the door before he gently knocks.

“Come in,” Benji says quietly. Victor pushes the door open, taking in Benji’s red rimmed eyes. Benji looks on in shock, rubbing at his face so Victor couldn’t see the dried tear tracks.

“Victor, what are you doing here?” The question comes out curious, but there’s a bite to it as he looks at him warily.

Victor takes a small step forward, knowing he deserves Benji’s mistrust.

“I told you, you’re too good of a guy to walk away from.” He takes another step forward, looking at the open space on the bed next to Benji.

Benji must notice his silent question and he nods, letting Victor take a seat next to him.

“You broke my trust Victor.” Benji, with the guitar still in hand, plucks gently at the strings, trying to find something to do with his hands.

Victor puts his hand over Benji’s to stop the broken music and nods. “I know, but I also know that if we want it to work, we need to talk. Like really talk. But that only can happen if we both want it to work out.” Victor looks at the boy he has grown to love over the past year, waiting for the inevitable shoe to drop.

“Do you?” He finishes, waiting for a response. Benji could only nod.

“I told you I didn’t think I could ever give up on you, but it seems like you gave up on me Victor. I didn’t think taking a break would end up with me finding you slow dancing with Rahim.” His voice breaks at the admission and he takes a deep breath.

Victor winces, knowing how it looked and tries to put the memory of Rahim kissing him to the back of his mind.

“I was mad. I needed someone to talk to and Rahim was there. We kept going in the same pattern of anger and apologies, but never really talking. Rahim was there and I took the opportunity to make a friend and help him. I didn’t realize I was hurting you in the process, especially telling him about you being in AA. I know I never should have told him that.”

By Benji’s facial expression, Victor knew he was hurt.

But Victor was hurt too and they needed to fix this.

“I know that coming out to your parents was not easy. But it’s different when you’re not white and religious. I need you to see why it was so hard for me.”

Benji nods, grabbing at Victor’s hand and giving it a helpful squeeze for him to keep going.

“I realize now how difficult it must have been for you to basically go in the closet again and be patient with me,” he says gently. “But I knew that my mom was coming around in her own way and it hurt when you guys argued and when you outed me to Adrian.”

Benji winces, knowing how much of an ass he was being that day. He let all of his pent up emotions out at once and he shouldn’t have.

Maybe Victor was better off without him. Who wants to date an addict anyway?

Victor, noticing Benji’s many facial expressions, pulled Benji closer to him.

“Hey, don’t go there.” He rubbed a hand against his boyfriend’s back.

Boyfriends.

They were still boyfriends right? Victor nodded to himself. Yes, they were and he was going to make sure they stayed that way.

“Your uh mom,” Benji starts, clearing his throat. “She came to me before the wedding at Brasstown. She thought it was her fault for our problems, but even I knew that it was bigger than her. She told me how you defended me to her.”

Victor smiles, knowing he was proud of himself in that moment, but also knowing it took a while to stand up for himself and Benji.

Benji continues, “She told me how all relationships have problems no matter the age. I knew I was going to need to fight for you. I already let you down enough by saying those stupid jokes about basketball, not telling you about AA and then making your relationship with your family even more hard. So after my shift, I was going to come to the wedding and apologize for everything, but I saw you with Rahim and it was like a weight just fell on my chest.”

“Rahim kissed me.” Victor blurts out, and waits for Benji’s anger, but he’s met with just a sad expression and Victor can’t take it any longer.

“He told me that he believed there were feelings between us that weren’t just friendly. And he kissed me. I didn’t kiss him back, but all I could think about was your face as you walked away and I needed to get away.”

Benji nods, waiting for Victor to go on.

“I went into Mia’s house and found Felix. He talked about something that his mom did to help with her problems. He asked me who I pictured myself with in the future. Someone I would have a long distance relationship with if it came to that and who I would want to be FaceTiming every day. Who, in the end, would be there after college at my side because we made it through all the bumps in the road of a long distance relationship.”

Benji looks at Victor and whispers, “And who is that?”

“You, Benji. I only see you.”

Gently taking Benji’s face in his hands, he kisses him on the forehead, trying his best to pretend he does not see the tears in Benji’s eyes.

“I’m a mess Victor. I’m a 16 year old who is one year sober and tries to pretend that everything is fine when it’s not,” he takes a deep breath, “it’s really not. Are you sure you want to be with me? I know Rahim is nice and cute and you probably have way more in comm-“ Victor’s lips on his mouth cut off his spiel, and he moves into the kiss, putting his hand in Victor’s hair and getting the faint taste of the cherry lip gloss from the other boy’s lips.

“I only want you. Rahim deserves someone who will love him like I love you,” he smiles,” and that’s definitely not me.”

“I love you too.”

“To make this work, we really need to talk and not let anger and mistrust into our relationship like that again,” Victor says, before smiling as he lets his fingers brush through Benji’s hair.

“But right now, I just really want to kiss you.”

Benji grins back at him, a sparkle in his eye that Victor has been missing for a while.

“Kiss away, Mr. Salazar.” Benji responds, trying to sound seductive and failing. Victor laughs, falling back on the bed.

He fake swoons, “Oh, Mr. Campbell. Please have your way with me.”

“Oh I definitely will,” the shorter boy responds, before kissing Victor on the lips again and laying down on his chest.

Victor smiles down at his boyfriend as he seems to be peppering his chest with gentle kisses before falling asleep. The sound of Benji’s breathing lulls Victor right to sleep.

Tomorrow would be a new day and a new start to their relationship and he couldn’t wait.

[poly-space-nerds]

ok i wanna talk about s2 of love victor

hi okay so just finished and lemme tell y’all. i am not happy. i’m gonna go through all my thoughts and you are all welcome to ignore this. i just have no one else to talk about it with.

Alright! Let’s get started with the things i did like, bc there is so few of them.

Armando!! His support was so surprising!

Isabel learning was grade A for me. I love that it showed her progress and how messy it is. like i very much disliked her at times but damn i was still rooting for her.

Armando and Isabel’s relationship is great. it made me so happy.

Felix’s story with his mom. It was complicated and so very messy but it was good.

Rahim! what a fun character!

The little brother was good too! “spongebob is gay”

Mia’s thing with her dad. (fuck him. weirdly i dislike him more than Isabel) I actually like Mia (and Lake) waaay more this season. They had good conflict.

Andrew was actually kinda nice this season.

There were so many cute venji scenes!!

okay now for the things i actually want to talk about: the bad.

can they actually talk about Felix’s alcoholism?? Please?? Instead of just making it a plot point for venji to fight about????? Literally any focus on felix thanks. (i love victor. and i know this show is literally called love victor. but wow it felt like their relationship was mostly about him all the time. Actually, its most of victor’s relationships. Felix will talk about something and they’ll talk but it’ll just come right back around to Victor’s problems. Like hun, did you even know about Felix’s mom before he moved in with you???)

Pilar. Damn girl what happened to you? Last season was about this anger she had for her mom and the situation. she had her own drama. but this season? She’s barely in it and is reduced to what? Felix’s next love interest? I miss S1 Pilar. Come back please.

ok. ok ok ok. Pilar and Felix. wow. also no. i have never seen real chemistry between them. i have always seen them as a big bro/ lil sis. so much so that i was uncomfortable watching either kisses. when the trailer came out, i was so excited to see them be friends! but now...ew. i am very much not excited to see them together next season. i’m grossed out even thinking about make out scenes.

i’m gonna miss Lake and Felix. a lot. Lake being bi is interesting! never saw her with those vibes but not against it. her and lucy is...something i wish was more developed. and not something that’s happening right after Felix broke up with her. (do these kids just constantly get into relationships??)

ALRIGHTY. time for this. the love triangle. just.. no thank you. I like Rahim! he’s great. i think him and victor have a good friendship. but thats it. just friendship. I felt so, so uncomfortable watching them in the last episode. so much so that i skipped most of it. i certainly skipped Rahim’s confession. my mind was going no no no no thank you no. it was just so unneeded. Victor and Benji are already having problems. why add in another guy. and really?? not all gay people date each other jesus christ. gay people can just be friends! they had good chemistry, but the directors really think that most of us would be happy with this development? Us? the same people who watched Simon and Bram get together and are delighted for their lil happily ever after? Nah. I’d be so disappointed to watch all of venji’s struggles to even just get together, just for them to break up and Victor get in a relationship thats been so poorly developed compared to Venji. (and I mean. i know that’s not gonna happen. victor’s known rahim for like a month. maybe less than that. of course he saw his future with Benji. of course he’s at Benji’s door. it’s a lil insulting they would even try to trick us like that.) I’m here for happily ever afters y’all. 

okay so are we never gonna get a Simon and Bram scene??? like come on! I’m still upset at s1 when they put them in the same room but they didnt interact! now we see Simon again but no Bram! (and why is his apartment so fancy?) I literally just said i’m in it for the happily ever after and they’re not even gonna show Simon and Bram being cute together in theirs??? blasphemy!! (no but seriously whats up with that?? do the actors not like each other or something??)

this season left me so disappointed. like i’m not very excited for the next season. I mean, of course I’ll watch it. maybe. as long as victor didn’t go to Rahim’s house tbh. i’m just brokenhearted and sad. maybe that was the purpose of this season? idk. i’m gonna go not think about pilar and felix.