#which is fine but i was visibly underweight like. ive been 130 before and shes seen me at 130 and it is not even close to how i looked
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also not to be ~*conspiratorial*~ but i think my mom is actively getting in the way of my recovery bc she knows if u get better and actually heal i’m gonna leave asap and never come back
#tw#weight mention#ed mention#<- in tags#i keep asking for help with therapy stuff and she just wont help me and keeps giving excuses#and when i was seeing a therapist for a but after every session she would tell me id be better off quitting it altogether#and she will not stop commenting on my body and my weight and#but a few months ago things were really bad i was at my lowest weight (under 90lbs)#and at the urgent care when i went for my eye they needed my weight and i obviously didnt wanna give it so i said idk bc i dont weigh myself#and they asked for an approximation and my mom with no hesitation said 120-130#which is fine but i was visibly underweight like. ive been 130 before and shes seen me at 130 and it is not even close to how i looked#and for like rhe next two months it was all i could think abt bc thats how eds work#and like thats just how she is. she actively works against any healing i try to do#bc she knows if im healthy im getting the fuck out!!!!#also she was with me bc i have a lot of trauma surrounding drs and medical shit and my anxiety isn’t manageable in those situations#so she has to be there or ill just have a panic attack#anyways thats my conspiracy for the day
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