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#which is way too much wtf dude aise nahi karte hai kaun karta hai ye
lildepressyy
ยท
1 year
Text
i feel stupid and weird and awkward and wrong nothing happened there were no bad consequences but i hate the way i acted that was too vulnerable it shouldn't be like that i shouldn't have said that acted like that
#they pranked us all saying it was his birthday??? at lunch
#and i was sooooo sad and hurt i kept saying mujhe bataya kyun nahi
#bhai why would he tell you kya lagti hai tu uski ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ literally nothing kuch bhi nahi
#but i hate the way he's still so nice and cute and soft?? ๐ญ๐ญ
#it felt like having a friend asking him again when we were sitting door door ki mujhe kyun nahi bataya
#and when he said aise hi i just stared at him for 2 mins all sad face on verge of crying (wtf??) and was like kyun celebrate karna pasand
#nai hai kya in a sad disappointed voice
#and he laughed and mouthed it to me just me that aaj nahi hai
#i miss having a best friend having secrets giggling about them so much it felt sooo good ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
#i want to hug him so bad for scaring me but it doesn't make sense we are not that close it doesn't matter if i didn't wish him as soon as i
#saw him right ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
#i think i finally understand that post about having a platonic crush on someone very intensely ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
#he seems nice and comforting i heard the way he was comforting some friend of his on the phone prolly
#cause she failed a group or something and had exams in nov he was so calm and logical and sweetly encouraging
#i want to hug him sob in his shoulder and have him tell me it'll be okay crack a lame joke to make me laugh ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
#which is way too much wtf dude aise nahi karte hai kaun karta hai ye
#also i can't i know this sounds like i like him or something romantically but genuinely i don't ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ he's like a child he's onl
#19 yrs old
#i just want to have someone who pays attention to the little things and genuinely cares about me
#but it isn't for you ivy you'll always feel lonely and empty and isolated because that's just who you ARE
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