#who told him to have a such a pathetic wet cat countenance

[femvaylin]

I think I’ve bullied and tormented him enough. It’s time to give him a bowl of soup and a blanky

[wishuhadstayed]

Talk Me Down

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: Angst. All the Angst

Summary: Aaron and reader called it quits months ago, but how do you forget the love of your life?

Author’s Note: a request by the lovely @yes-sir-hotchner based on the song of the same name by Troye Sivan. A little something to hold you over while I work on the next chapter of my series.

Masterlist

Being absolutely soaked to the bone by a chilling rain was a fitting end to your already crappy week. Crappy few months, actually, truth be told. Entering the somber apartment, you made your way to the walk-in closet before stripping off your soggy clothes in favor of a hot bath and a glass of wine, or several.

On a Friday night you really should be out on the town instead of home moping, but all of your friends had bailed. Now you were exactly what you didn’t want to be. Alone. Memories and thoughts rising up and threatening to burst out at any moment.

It had been four months since Aaron had broken off your engagement. He had given some lame excuse to the effect of he traveled too much and couldn’t give you the attention you deserved, and that you should find someone better. But who could be better for you than Aaron? He had been your best friend, the one you had trusted with your life. Your one and only, and he had left you. Alone.

You knew getting drunk was definitely not the solution to your problems, but you couldn’t bear to think about what was and what could have been anymore. You just needed some time where every object and every smell didn’t remind you of him. So you drank, and drank in vain hopes of washing away his memory, but he knew how to swim.

When it became clear that getting drunk was not enough, you decided to just pass out instead. A few hours of peaceful unconsciousness would do you good. Rising from the now lukewarm bath water on wobbly legs, you manage to stagger back to the closet. Rifling for clean pajamas, you found it there, wadded up and forgotten in the back of a drawer. One of Aaron’s old shirts.

You knew you really should just throw it away, but your heart wouldn’t let you. Raising it to your nose, you breathe in the all too familiar scent and as you slip it on, the memories come crashing in waves, knocking the air from you, like a punch to the gut. Lying on the floor, the tears overwhelm you. The strangled sobs continue until there’s no tears left.

Emotionally and physically exhausted, you crawl in bed praying desperately for sleep. But nothing is ever that simple. You still haven’t gotten used to sleeping without him. In the unforgiving dark, your mind wanders. What is he doing right now? Does he miss me as much as I miss him? Is he in as much pain as I am? Why? Why? Why did he do this to me? To us?

You just wanted to lie down next to him like you used to. To kiss him one more time, even if he wouldn’t change his mind. You had already picked up the phone and were about to dial when you snapped back to your senses. Drunk dialing is pathetic. What would he think of you for that? On second thought, you were already broken up. What’s the worst that could happen?

—————————————————————

Across town, Aaron was up late as well. Work usually kept his mind well occupied, but late at night sometimes you still haunted him. Had he done the right thing? He wanted desperately to call you, to hear your voice again, but deep inside he knew that you would be furious with him.

The internal struggle raged within him, but the next time he reached for his cell, it rang. Your name lit up the screen as if he had summoned the call by sheer force of will.

“Hello Y/N.”

“Aaron,” you manage before nearly losing your confidence and hanging up. “I miss you,” you choke out as the tears begin to flow.

The sound of your emotional distress is enough to nearly break him. He aches to pull you close and soothe every wound as he did not so long ago. But how do you heal a wound that you inflicted?

“Oh God, I’ve missed you too,” he confesses. “I’ve wanted to call for so long, but I knew you hated my guts and you have every right to.”

“Is that what you think, Aaron? That I hate you?”

“Well, yeah. I probably would if I were you.”

“You really know me that little? Maybe we were right to break up, Aaron.”

Your cruel and spiteful words sliced his heart into ribbons quicker than the sharpest knife.

“Wait, please don’t go,” he pleads. “Give me another chance, I’m begging you.”

“Fine, but if you’re serious about this, you’ll come to me.”

“Now?”

“Right now,” you insist.

“Y/N, it’s the middle of the night and it’s raining cats and dogs,” he states, trying to reason, but he’s met with only silence.

“Y/N? Y/N?” He questions before realizing that you’ve already hung up. This is it. If he stands any chance of patching things up with you, he’s got to make a decision, and quick.

Bolting from the bedroom, he grabs his car keys, not even bothering to stop for a coat. Hitting the main road, he speeds towards your place as fast as possible cursing every red light along the way. Silently praying that he gets to you before it’s too late.

—————————————————————

Just as you were about to give up all hope, you thought you heard something over the storm. There it goes again, this time for sure, a persistent knocking. Flying to the door, you rise to your toes to peer through the peephole and there’s Aaron, dripping wet and looking anxious.

As you open the door, he thanks his lucky stars and then takes in your form, draped in his old shirt as his heart skips a beat. Instinct takes over his rational brain as he steps forward, embracing you passionately as his lips crash against yours. Kicking the door shut, he stumbles into your apartment, hand in your hair, lips attached to your neck until you fall backwards on the couch in a tangle of limbs.

Coming up for air he gasps, “I’ve missed you so much, Y/N.”

Your hurt feelings being riled up, you retort, “What? You haven’t been passing the time with someone better?”

“Of course not,” he replies, stung by the venom in your tone. “No one could be better than you, darling. For me, it’s always you. Always has been and always will be.”

“Then why did you leave me?” You cry, head falling to his shoulder and softly beating his chest with your closed fist. Cradling you closely and stroking your back, he explains,

“I was scared, Y/N. I know that’s not a good excuse, but it’s the truth. After everything I’ve been through, I felt true love and tenderness with you and I panicked. I decided it would be easier to leave before I got left. So I broke things off, and there’s not been a day since that I haven’t regretted it. I’m so incredibly sorry, you have no idea. If you could ever find it in your heart to forgive me, I’d want nothing more than to give us another try. Please.”

“I guess you think I’m just gonna accept your apology and we’ll just get back together like nothing happened, huh?”

“Honestly, no,” he replies. “If you told me to leave and that you never wanted to see me again, I’d understand.”

Hearing the pain and sincerity in his tone breaks your heart. Despite everything, you can’t imagine life without him.

“It’s late, you should crash here tonight,” you suggest. “If you give me those wet clothes, I’ll throw them in the dryer.”

You see the ray of hope brighten his countenance slightly as he processes your statement. Deciding not to press his already paper thin luck he returns, “Thanks Y/N, I really appreciate it. I’ll sleep here on the couch.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you reply. “You’ll sleep in the bed with me.”

Sinking into the familiar sheets, he pulls you close, rough hand gently caressing your back as your lips press tender kisses to his bare chest.

“Does this mean the engagement is back on?” He inquires.

“It’s not that simple, Aaron. You really hurt me. I’m not just going to fall back into your arms. You’re going to have to prove to me that you’re in it for real this time. I have to trust you again. Can you deal with that?”

“I’ll do whatever it takes. I can’t lose you again.”

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