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#wish i had know more options for my studies. i honestly feel like i've wasted 5 yrs
yukinyaminyato · 1 year
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maiden-of-sea · 4 months
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Why I Still Haven't Return to This Blog (Please Read)
So within so many, MANY catching things up upon School, I have a confusion that I wanna make...
For the Past Years that I've barely had anything to do with this blog, part of Me feels like that I don't really want to run with it anymore as for some reason there is this Big Gripe for Me that slowly makes Me fully regret creating this blog all because of some semi-unhealthy obsession that I've had with one of my fandoms.
For the past years, I've used to be totally obsessed with the King Neptune/Poseidon character (I know they're separate characters, but giving on how that they're the still same outside) & for some random reason that felt like a huge waste wanting Me to run a Blog on its own (inspired to those who have their own Single Fandom Blogs like some fans do in the SB Fandom).
But now, I've come to the conclusion and realize on how much that I didn't need a Third Blog (considering on how both of my art and posts of my Main Blog are already full-filled with so many of my personal main fandom posts, it's downright INSANE).
The only reason as to why my brain in the first place thought of wanting to have such an unnecessary blog is partially because was inspired by other people who had their own single fandom blogs (like with most people on their Greek Myth blogs for instance). But honestly, due to the fact that I am very indeed afraid of wanting to delete it (which would cause the deletion of My Main Blogs with all of the other works that I've wanted to show), I've just realize my own huge mistake that I felt didn't need on what had to be done all because of a single obsession that I've recently just grew out of it for very mature reasons.
You see, I only made the blog for a very strange reason was because it was one of my surroundings in the beginnings of the SB Fandom when I came here. (As I've said before), I was completely obsessed with the King Neptune/Poseidon character and while I did paid any attention to the Main Cast like I would always do, I felt like my main interest was only a target towards the cast's obscure characters (which I blame for my own pure love for obscurity) and nothing else which is such a shame to Myself as I feel rather disappointed in what I've committed, but I can clearly see why on how everyone else wouldn't tend to see it since I was always a bit calm during a join in the fanbase. Now, when I say, "Disappointed", I meant on how that I couldn't afford to focus much on the Non-Merfolk characters more often as I feel as if though that I could've had the chance to study if it weren't for my own Big Merfolk brain rot.
Now, for the record, I am NOT saying that I am giving up on my Most Favorite Characters at this point since every any character is dedicated to their own fanbase, but honestly, for awhile, I've still been thinking if whether or not I should either just change or at least abandoned this blog but I defiantly have been thinking to restart it or at least perhaps have it a new fresh change.
For the Second Option part, if I were to re-do this Third Blog, I'd probably would make it an Ask Blog but I'd still have it around my Main Fandom's theme at this point.
It's just that for some time, I've mostly and mainly been focusing around my Main Blogs to point where I have no one else to do with this one and re-blogging some of my SB Art/Reblogs from my Main One into this One to fit this Blog's Main Aesthetic is often kinda hard to do (especially on how long given the Hiatus is) but for the most part, wishing my own self that I would want to return to this Blog would be Wonderful but I would prefer to want to make a change to it somehow just so that perhaps that maybe I would want to do with it whatever I'd want, but maybe not as an Polacia blog since I've been thinking about wanting to do something else for awhile if I'm going have to re-design My Greco-Roman Gods anytime soon when I feel like it (just to perhaps if maybe I were to keep this Blog's Main Theme that I chose alive).
I know that the idea of "Deleting" (Getting Rid) of ALL of the stuff that you've full-filled within a certain theme of a blog will take forever but honestly, I just don't know to the point where I feel as if though that I am indeed incredibly lost within my mind, especially when you are not in the same mood as you used too anymore. I just feel as if though that time changes real quick.
Recently, I've been focusing on drawing out ideas for my Original Stories (as well as drawing out some personal character designs) since this Whole SpongeBob-Fandom break has really given Me some relaxing time and I've already got out of School as I did graduate recently.
Considering the fact that I can't get rid of my Third Blog, I might as either consider to either continue run it or reboot it (if I'm going to start something different for it). I still haven't re-worked my own personal Redesigns in the moment but recently, I've been re-joining my Old Fandoms through a blast within the past.
So in case if I do return to this blog anytime once my SB Fandom break is over (as far as I have been trying), I'll probably give my a Third Blog a second chance. If not, I'll probably either abandon it. But I see on how time will tell if Fishes from the Sea sent by their own God will tell Me (aka if my Mind brainstorms once again).
Granted, I still and always will love Poseidon no matter what, just not in a crazy way that I did when I made this account and even when I somehow regret making it, since I felt very scared that I knew I was going to be in a Different Fandom mood.
I'll probably make my own decision to return one day if my SpongeBob hyper-fixation comes back to Me. Right now, I'm going through a Different Fandom Phase as I will be more active on my Main Blogs (@the-indie-owl and my Art Blog; @marine-indie-gal).
Hope you guys understand.
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letsdiscoverkitty · 7 years
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(1/2) Hi, I need help - I don't know who to go to. Don't feel you need to answer this question, I'm just so lost right now & have been for a long time. I am nearing 25 yrs old & I still am no where near completing my BA degree. I have completed only one year of my degree & I'm taking a year out. I've been a student at a different uni before but dropped out & now I'm taking a yr out from my second attempt at uni. I am severely mentally ill & I am too scared to write essays; I feel I am too ...
(2/2) stupid & I'm scared to fail. I feel like I'm the biggest failure. I am supposed to be going back in January but I have no idea how... I will be studying alongside people much younger than me & have no friends there & I'm not good at connecting with people. I just don't know what the heck to do. My brain is rotting in the mean time, I'm too ill to work or study so feel like the biggest waste of space on earth. I want to achieve things but I seem destined for failure and misery. :'(
Oh love, if I could give you a hug right now I really would I am sorry you have had to go through so much so early on in your life (you are still young, don’t listen to what your head says, 25 is not old in the slightest! and yes it might be a little older than the 18 year old freshers straight out of college but in the grand scheme of things that honestly does not matter). It sounds like you have had a LOT to deal with over the years and I am sorry to hear that. I know how tough having to leave uni is, so I want you to know that I *understand* as much as I can and that these things do NOT make you a ‘failure’ or destined for misery’ - not in the SLIGHTEST. Would you say that to me if I said those things? would you say the same to anyone else? No. You are not the exception. You ARE worth fighting for and you are worth saving. Life can be cruel and can throw some really tough hands at us but this is NOT how things always have to be. The future is not yet written, and we are the ones that hold the power to shape what they could hold. 
I don’t want this to come out the wrong way so I am really sorry if it does but do you really think you are ready to go back to University? It sounds like you still have a lot of mental recovery to be focusing on and that heading back, even in the next couple of months, might not be the best thing for you. I know that taking out more time might be a really hard decision to make but at the end of the day you have to put your health first. Would it be bad of me to ask whether you have considered an admission? I don’t usually suggest an IP stay but it sounds like you are in a bit of a hole at the moment and maybe a short admission (or a longer one) could help you to get out of this rut? To me it sounds like you are still really struggling with the side affects that often arise from malnutrition like not being able to concentrate/retain information/social exclusion and it sounds like going back to studying would likely be far too much for you right now. I hope that doesn’t come across as rude and I obviously don’t know you or your situation but please please just think about the options you have in front of you. This is not how the rest of your life has to be, it CAN be different. However in order for that to be possible, something does need to change (as hard as that is to accept, change can only come about through action and doing things differently to how we might have done them before).
Please know that this does NOT make you a failure in any way/shape/form. We are all going along different paths in life and sometimes it can feel like we are doing things “wrong” but the truth is that there is no “right” or “wrong” way to go through life. Unfortunately some people come up against many hardships in life and that is tough for ANYONE, so please do not think that you are a failure or that you have done anything “wrong” because of what you have been through. This is a life destroying illness that IS NOT your fault, you did not ask to suffer from it and sadly mental illnesses aren’t something that we can ‘control’ whether we suffer from or not. I really want to appeal to you to reach out to any of the support network that you have around you; are you currently seeking and engaging in treatment? Are there others that you could reach out to a little more to help you along a bit during this difficult time? I really wish that there was something I could say/do to help you and reassure you that there are better days ahead of you. please please speak to someone, anyone, your parents, a close friend, your GP, a support worker, please reach out, you do NOT have to go through this alone. I really will be keeping you close in my thoughts and hoping that things start to take a turn for the better for you soon. Take care love xxx
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