#with love: jenokoi’s spirit guides

[jenokoi]

How is it (the situation) affecting you, and how to move on.

GENERAL TAROT READING BY JENOKOI

Hi. This is quite unexpected, I was not planning on making this reading at all. But here we are, staring one another, you with a question and me with a fear of messing up your answer. However, I am confident this will find those who are meant to read it. Without further ado, tonight we will have a sneak peak on how a certain situation is affecting you, whenever you are aware of it or not, and how to move on (were you wish to do so). Don’t fret if we poke a few traumas here and there, I can not control what I’m told. It is a bit extensive, so please take only what resonates with you and leave the rest for your fellow companions.

That said, there are vague mentions of sexual assault and hints at eating disorders, so if you’re not comfortable with said topics please do not read.

Please take a deep breath and get comfortable. Let your intuition guide you to the answer you seek in the pictures below. Take as much time as you need.

PILE ONE > PILE TWO > PILE THREE

My tarot readings are guided by the current energy of my subject in question and my own spirit guides. Energies are prone to change based on our actions, and thus nothing is truly set on stone. Please take only what resonates, this is a general reading. It’s okay to not feel drawn to any of the images. If you have to force it into the narrative of your life, then it might not be for you. These readings are for entertainment purposes only.

HOW IS IT (THE SITUATION) AFFECTING YOU?

HOW IS IT (THE SITUATION) AFFECTING YOU?

HOW IS IT (THE SITUATION) AFFECTING YOU?

You feel abandoned, left behind or ignored by someone who was supposed to love and care for you unconditionally. You feel like someone broke a promise made to you. As if you had been led on with a blindfold just to find yourself completely alone in an empty room, an empty paradise.

Some of you might be the eldest child or a role model to a younger family member. You have been left behind, yet a part of you still believes whoever abandoned you will come back. You might have been the second choice or someone is in the position you were told was to be yours. Nonetheless, you still hold onto this person/situation and refuse to let go despite the exit sign being right in front of you. You know there are better things awaiting for you on the other side. In your mind, you know what must be done, how the story ends. But your heart holds onto the faintest of flames in the hopes of a fire to burn every obstacle in your way.

Either someone you trust is leading you on, or you have been warned of what will happen regarding the situation by a male energy.

You might have developed really bad eating habits since the situation started. You indulge in addictions to fill the emptiness left by the excitement of a promised destiny yet to manifest. To calm the anxiety of waiting you abuse of your body and take it to its limits. You are a prisoner of your emotions, ignoring evidence and warnings, accusing your mind of being too critical, skeptical. You turn your back to the truth and keep on holding to the situation (or person).

“I can leave when I want, so I’ll be okay with one more.” Your childhood traumas are haunting your present self. Especially those related to your fatherly figure growing up. You might have been very loved by your father during your child years before he abandoned you or left you stranded. Yet you were told by everyone he loved you the most. You have issues letting go. You believe in a love that can’t be seen because you were told you don’t need to feel or receive it for it to be real. You just need to know it’s there and that’s enough.

You gather every small move, every little bread crumb, and make of it a feast. You are holding onto ideas and no proof. This situation is making you delusional. You grab pieces left behind rather than given to you and call them gifts. This situation could be taken place at work or in a religious environment. You are making a big deal out of nothing. And every time you realize you are moving on you find another reason to come back.

If we’re being honest, you don’t want to move on, but there’s nothing you can do at all regarding the situation even if you decide to stay, and that frustrates you a lot. “If given the chance.” You want (yearn) for something out of this situation that you can’t have. You want to be the only choice. But you are afraid of the consequences were you to act upon your emotions. You are scare of getting hurt. You don’t think you are strong enough to face the consequences, but you are strong enough to not give up so easily.

This situation could be an affair of sorts. Your competition might know of you or of the situation. “You are not welcomed.” In case of an affair or something related to a relationship of three, you don’t think your competition is deserving of the subject of your affections. You believe them trapped, and that you could make them happier.

Whispers: darling, if they wanted, they would.

HOW TO MOVE ON (FROM THE SITUATION).

Take a fucking break and stop consuming so much tarot readings in the hopes of getting a different reading from the one two posts ago. Stop feeding onto your delusions, please. Take back control of your impulses and addictions, return to the mentality of “if it’s not doing me good then I shouldn’t continue,” please. It’s all about using reason to cut the negativity out of your life.

You might have been in a low energy as of late, often wanting to be left alone and leaving things for later (your room must be a mess), not necessary out of sadness though. You have been overthinking every action and fighting your mind took a toll on you. Sometimes to find the problem one must pull from the root.

It’s time to open your eyes and see that you have been drinking from an empty cup. There’s nothing there for you but what you have made yourself believe in. You were not invited to the party, your presence was not needed nor warranted. You are not supposed to be in this situation because there’s nothing here for you. It’s not yours to fight for and it’s not yours to win. You have been ignoring the truth waiting for it to be a lie, and you have been surrounding yourself with little lies that you have made them your truth. Even if it hurts, you are to look at the situation through reality and not your own distorted view.

Walk away from your own make believe world and you will see how clear the signs become. Stop projecting your ideas onto the situation (or person).

It’s time to face old habits and acknowledge how they are slowly deteriorating you. Love is not something you can’t see. Love can be found in memories, in actions, in words. Loves needs validation every once in a while, not because we must give it, but because we love so much we just have to scream it, have to show it, have to tell it. When someone loves you, you don’t doubt it. When someone cares for you, you are not afraid to ask of it.

You have to get comfortable with the dark energy within you so that you can learn to protect yourself with it. Learn your past, discover where your obsessions come from and understand how you can prevent being a victim of them.

You are unable to have commitment in a relationship because you must have control at all times of those who have a piece of your heart. You force your own idea of someone onto them and leave when they don’t act accordingly to your script. You don’t know how to receive love. You grew up thinking love should not be received, just acknowledge. And while it might take a while, you have the strength to grow your heart alongside your mind.

The seeds planted during your childhood have grown, some beautifully, some slowly, others even venomous. A few withered in the shadows. It’s time to put them under the sun and help them grow. Butterflies will arrive on their own, at their own time.

You wish for a change in this situation, blindly dancing with the devil. You refuse to move one because part of you, like a fool, believes you will receive your reward for waiting like a good kid.

Love shouldn’t make you feel like the bad guy.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

PILE II

HOW IS IT (THE SITUATION) AFFECTING YOU?

This situation makes you feel alive, desired, wanted. You might even receive compensation from it, both financially or emotionally. You are becoming dependent of this situation. It’s euphoric, blinds you with excitement, carries you into a high. Some of you might consume drugs, could be weed or cocaine. This situation feels similar to the story of Alice In Wonderland.

Some of you might video call with someone or exchange nudity content through messages to another participant of the situation. Sexual innuendo warning: a partner might be really good at oral or constantly in the mood. Nevertheless, this situation makes you feel extremely desired and above the competition.

Funnily enough, this situation also makes you feel like less. As if you are not interesting nor cared of as a person but an object to lust after. You feel reduced to how you look rather than to what you can make. You might be afraid of showing your artistic side or ideas. You feel the best participant to a category you don’t think you deserve. You are far more than that, and are not receiving the compensation for all the effort you give. You feel as if your thoughts have no importance, your opinions only for the deaf. You overthink a lot and act as if you care none.

People might say bad/rude things about you behind your back, some even to your face. You might be in a rowdy and raucous environment. Your situation is like fireworks, pretty in it’s appearance, loud in its path, and brief in its high.

Your feelings are in disarray. You don’t know if what you feel for others or what others feel for you is love or lust, if it’s genuine or a parasite trying to suck your blood. You don’t know if they (or a certain person) sees you as a true friend or someone they just want to fuck. You also feel jealousy, a lot of it. Some of you might have stomach ache as of late. Others might be starving yourselves to fit a criteria.

Despite being a favorite, there seems to be a lot of competition regarding your goals. Some of you might constantly feel dizzy, you might like the act of eating a cake more than the cake itself (a rebellious act).

You feel like a fool who tries too hard and only embarrass themselves the more they talk, the more honest they act. There is someone you are trying to impress but they don’t return your affection/interest. This person might always be surrounded by people or talking to someone.

Some of you might be in the fashion business. Modeling, to be more precise. Your situation surrounds you of people trying to survive on their own twisted ways. Prostitutes. Teamwork is not prompted, and often those who play dirty are victorious.

You feel dirty and alone. Cheated on something. You were promised Wonderland and were given the bottom of the rabbit hole. For some, money ties you down to this situation. You feel a product to a store. For some of you, you are dealing with a player, for others, this is a career or project situation. You might feel controlled by a male energy.

TRIGGER WARNING FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT

Some of you might have been victims to sexual abuse and assault, could have been continuous from a young age or an event past the age of sixteen. You might be forced to coexist with your assaulter, either physically or mentally. You don’t feel like you deserve/want to be protected or cared for.

You feel like you aren’t and will never be enough. Someone not worth of respect. “Your body is what gives you value, not your mind, not your heart, but what’s between your open legs.” You don’t think you can reach your dreams. You don’t think to be the person to make them real.

You might be haunted by a male energy, and people’s opinions about you matter more than the love you give yourself. You are scared of growing old and losing your beauty.

HOW TO MOVE ON (FROM THE SITUATION).

You are a prisoner to society, to the male gaze, and you must break free of it before you can learn to forgive. It sounds stupid to you, but that same reason is why you are all so fucking depressed. You dislike men, you find them disgusting, but you are noting without them. If they don’t desire you, it means you are not hot enough. If they don’t come onto you, then you are not worth the time. You are nothing unless a man tells you you are his everything.

And eat/drink your fucking protein because you are a shivering wreck.

You don’t have to find value in your mind or your body or your heart. You have to accept that you won’t fit everyone’s taste and that’s t okay, because you’ll be you, and you only need to fit yourself.

You want to be taken care of, but you must learn how to by yourself first before you let anyone do so. Otherwise, anyone will easily sell you a nightmare dressed as a dream. You must break your dependency on external masculine energy.

You have become comfortable on the role of the victim, and thus you refuse to fight for what you want. “It won’t matter what I do, nothing will change.”

It’s a big wall to break through, but once you do, life will make sense. You will realize you are a little less afraid, a little more vulnerable. Once you break free, you will see how the world changes in an instant. How your feelings have power, your voice has strength, and your hand has the gift of giving love to all that it touches, regardless if it’s made of mud or gold. You will be your best friend and your grandest rival; not someone you want to defeat, but who constantly defies you to improve. You will see your dreams stay as they are, drifting away in the sky because you don’t fly towards them. You’ll allow yourself to be understood, that’s okay to simply feel without a need to explain.

Once you start to work for yourself with yourself, you will flourish into a beauty that has no weight, no standard, no criteria but that of simply being. You will fall in love with yourself and the world will follow in a breath.

And some wounds might never heal, some scars will forever mark your skin. You don’t have to forgive them, but you must forgive yourself. My dear, your karma will find them when you stop holding on to it.

You wish for revenge regarding this situation. Someone ruined your inner child, and you can’t let go until justice has been served. However, all those negative emotions are only attracting negative outcomes. Some victories are attained when you leave the battlefield and let your enemies end themselves.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

PILE III

HOW IS IT (THE SITUATION) AFFECTING YOU?

Why are you even reading this man, you clearly don’t want to move on. You truly believe you can work your way into saving this. You don’t want to change shit, you just want to fix whatever is going on and continue on as if nothing ever happened. But, if you already fucked up enough times, and shit is just not working out for you, then it might be time to move on. If you think you can try again, I don’t recommend you continue reading this post :)

Right from the get a go, this might be a cheating situation. Either you cheated on someone or someone cheated on you. It’s cool, we don’t judge, shit spills when the drain is clogged. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a romantic (or a relationship) affair, it could also be a work situation (much like drama office). Whatever it was, it’s irrelevant when compared to the universal truth of pile three: there was foul play in here.

Let us start slow and from the beginning. Fact: you don’t like to be alone. Consequence: you withstand a lot of shit from people as to not feel like you don’t belong. You might be a pushover with a lot of migraine issues. You don’t really put up a fight, especially when talking about this situation in specific.

You don’t like direct conflict. You avoid it, take the punches for the sake of peace, keeping your image clean. Some of you had/have a really bad relationship with your mother, or had someone belittle you a lot during your formative years. A family member might have drink a lot around you. A kitchen has a powerful meaning for some of you (this is very specific, but a tile floor and a room with yellow tones). Nonetheless, to stay in this situation you keep your mouth shut and take the beating. You’re very emotionally weak though, stop lying to yourself about it. Thinking really fuck up comebacks capable of destroying the strongest of enemies doesn’t mean much if you don’t actually use them (granted, you are watching out for yourself and that’s understandable). What’s hard to comprehend is why you put yourself in said situation to begin with.

You have a beggar mentality. Be it for love, money, or validation. You are willing to put up with a lot of crap if the reward is worth the trouble. You have grown dependent of this situation. You might work in an office job or wear blue as part of your uniform. You don’t have any loyalty whatsoever, some of you might be well-known snitches. You put value in people based on what they can offer to you.

A lot of people don’t like you, pile three. They are praying for your downfall in silence. For some, someone you trust is among them (please take this with a grain of salt. If you had no indication of a person plotting against you before, don’t force it now). For others, your friends are ready to give up on you if you don’t pull yourself together. No one really knows why you do what you do, but they don’t trust you. Someone finds you pitiful.

You are seeking something, but you are doing the whole treasure hunt gig wrong. Growing up no one really payed much attention to you, and now you search for it the only way you know; staying quiet or causing trouble. And you don’t understand why despite all your efforts you can’t seem to achieve what others do so easily. You have an inferiority complex, regardless if you come from money or not. Some of you might actually been raised on poverty or a really competitive environment. “Many mouths to feed, not enough hands to work.”

Despite it all, all you ever want is a good, simple life. But you refuse to let go of old mentalities. You want to be the little man and ride off the success of someone else. You don’t want to do anything at all. But lately you have been so fucking depressed and no one wants to be your friend.

But hey, you kept on reading, which means you are ready to give the move on thing a chance.

You want to improve, that’s more than some people can say. You don’t want to be a sentient puppet, you want to be a person with deepness and layers to them. You want to have a major life change, which most likely means you fucked up big time and want to improve. You hurt someone, or someone hurt you (granted, it might have been warranted). But you, quiet literally, want to expel the ugliness out of you, and frankly speaking some people are not having it. They want you to stay the bad person to elevated themselves. But there’s also people around you that are more than willing to help you out, which might confuse you because you won’t know who to trust. You’re ready to put the work, though.

Still, you think life will become boring. If there’s not a villain then there’s not a story to tell. No bad decisions to be made, no more late night drunken shenanigans. So you might be a bit unsteady, prone to giving in everyone once in a while, which might halt any progress you had made. You might have BIG time trust issues. “Leave before they leave you,” stuff going on. Truthfully, you will never move on if you don’t lose that.

HOW TO MOVE ON (FROM THE SITUATION).

To move on, you have to let go of the idea of a perfect life, a perfect you, in a perfect world. There’s no such thing as a life without issues. If you want something you have to put the work into it. Cheating your way into victory is getting a medal without value. Have you watched Wreck-it-Ralph? Yeah? Then you know what I mean. You don’t need to be the most powerful person in the room to be the most loved, the most respected.

Being the first to punch doesn’t make you a better person, m neither does not punching back. You have to stop looking a life thought black and white. You need to let go of this beggar mentality. “You are rich if you’re not poor and you’re poor if your not rich.” Shit don’t work like that bro. You don’t have to break a heart to prove that you have love and were loved. You don’t have to make people hurt you and grovel for your forgiveness just to see that they care. You have to stop seeing everyone as your enemy.

Life is all about how we interact with the universe. Life with life, not life against life. Don’t run from something just because you expect the worst. Nothing will ever be set on stone. Nothing will forever be good and nothing will forever be bad. It’s all about what teachings you decide to carry with you and how you apply them in your everyday. We are constantly learning and changing, for better or for worse.

You have to understand that people have fears just like you, that people can get hurt by your actions. Be more patience, don’t jump at the slightest movement. Don’t enter the first exit you see, let the road take you to your destination. And stop trying to hurt people for the sake of hurting, it’s not cool.

Don’t give value to people based on what they can give to you. You are missing out on so many experiences and learning opportunities by closing off from others. You are blinded by an artificial dream to see what the universe is trying to gift to you. (This is oddly specific, but please stop watching so much porn). It’s okay to ask for help bro, and maybe it’s about damn time you do. You might discover different perspectives about things you used to think yourself an expert on. And stop procrastinating so much, you got shit to do, masterpieces to create.

Don’t be so closed off to new experiences, and try new activities. You won’t belong anywhere if you keep pretending to be someone you aren’t. When you feel the most comfortable, you will find yourself surrounded by people who love you just the way you are. Breaking news, love is not supposed to make you feel like shit.

Also, stop being so hasty. Slow down, take your time and enjoy the ride. You will appreciate all that you have if you simply take a moment to enjoy it.

Stop running away, you will only tired yourself.

You wish to belong so desperately, to fulfill an idea, that you are willing to lose yourself to the situation. Fake it till you make make, make yourself miserable that is. In essence, you are afraid of being alone, to never be wanted for who you are, and you prefer to burn the forest at the first sound of a branch snapping than letting life find you.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

It's really late and I'm very tired, but I had the urge to post this reading as soon as possible. I'll fix any mistakes tomorrow as soon as time allows me to do so. As always, thank you for trusting me with your energies, stay safe, and the universe loves you all <3

[jenokoi]

What attracted them to you, and what’s holding back this connection?

GENERAL TAROT READING BY JENOKOI

in this reading we’ll be be talking a bit about who you are as a person and how some perceive you, what attracted your person to you alongside a sneak peak of their intentions, and what’s preventing this union from flowing its natural course. It is a bit extensive, so please take only what resonates with you and leave the rest for your fellow companions.

Please take a deep breath and get comfortable. Let your intuition guide you to the answer you seek in the pictures below. Take as much time as you need.

PILE ONE > PILE TWO > PILE THREE

My tarot readings are guided by the current energy of my subject in question and my own spirit guides. Energies are prone to change based on our actions, and thus nothing is truly set on stone. Please take only what resonates, this is a general reading. It’s okay to not feel drawn to any of the images. If you have to force it into the narrative of your life, then it might not be for you. These readings are for entertainment purposes only.

PILE I

PILE I

PILE I

WHO ARE YOU?

This is the pile for the passive, sweet, and dreamy fairies. You don’t consider yourself an active player in life, often sitting by the side as it passes you by. The individuals who prefer to be left alone in their own world with a book and a cup. Head always in the clouds sweethearts. You do not disturb the peace of others and appreciate when they don’t disturb yours. Those who have tried are simply left dumbfounded at your lack of interest to play the petty game of revenge. You don’t meddle in other’s peoples’ affairs, because truthfully, you just don’t care. You are an spectator that isn’t really paying much attention to the show.

It does not means you are ignorant, however. Were someone to ask for your help you will gladly assist them as long as none of your morals or self-imposed rules are broken. You follow a guide of loose restrains that keep you safe and content. You are also a bit of a loner, very selective of your companions and to whom you give your energy to. People you don’t really interact much with think of you as apathetic, some might go as far as to say you are high on your horse. But truth is, you have no curiosity for the ways others chose to do life when you don’t play a recurrent role in their show.

You keep to yourself a lot, but aren’t shy to speak your feelings out loud with your circle of friends. And while it might take a while for people to get you to open up to them, being able to enter your loving energy is such a blessing. Your love is unconditional, unquestioned, secure. You would do anything for those you care about. And rest assure, for they would do the same for you.

You are very kind, pile one, but because you sometimes see it as a weakness you are careful when meeting new people. You have pretty strong boundaries, but you are too lost in your head that you forget to put them down when genuine individuals approach you. Some have no choice but to admire you from afar.

WHAT ATTRACTED YOUR PERSON TO YOU, AND WHAT IS HOLDING BACK THIS CONNECTION?

Unlike the other piles, your person’s attraction towards you started with a specific event.

Your person happened to witness an occurrence in which you offered your assistance to an individual without seeking compensation. For some it was to a friend of yours, for others it was a small animal in need of shelter or medical help. In this situation, you moved mountains and oceans to aid the subject in need, never once expecting something in return. It was the dedication to the deed that peaked your person’s interest in you. When before they had seen you as part of the background only, a newfound sentiment of respect brewed inside them after that event. Your person saw a side of you that is not often exposed, and they were mesmerized by it.

Your person then started to notice how fiercely protective you are of those you love and care about. How you treasure and respect your friends. How you bring out a childlike disposition (full of vigor and excitement) when surrounded by people you are comfortable around with. The way your energy seems to fuel the room when you come out of your castle in the clouds.

They want to take you out to explore, preferably where there is a lot of nature. Some of them practice skateboarding and they want to teach you. They want to be the person who makes you smile, and they want to make you feel the way they see you make your friends feel. They want to be the sun the shines upon your garden of roses.

Though they feel you are too closed-off, specifically towards them (this is their own fears projecting onto your passive nature). Your person thinks you are very careful of who you share your naturally bright energy with. They believe it would be hard to convince you to go out in adventures with them. Some of them might like spontaneous trips or late strolls/rides around the city.

They fear you are too out of reach for them. Your person would be grateful if you were to give them the opening to a friendship. They want to put the work into courting you, be the one to sweep you off your feet. They want the confirmation that you accept them as a friend. Your person is very bashful when thinking of being with you. They want to make you happy and make you feel safe around them. But they are afraid they will scare you away with their eagerness, and so they hold back from approaching you head on. They are being held captive by their own mind, both daydreaming of the two of you together and overthinking negative outcomes to your encounters. Your person isn’t shy, though. They just really want to get to know you but your closed-off vibes scare them a little.

One of you, or maybe both, was hurt in the past because you gave too much of yourself to someone else or was vulnerable with a partner that shamed them for loving too deeply. However, your person thinks you two are just the right amount of similar and of different to complement each other perfectly.

You might also know this person from work or mutual friends, but you two aren’t really that close or even on talking terms. They might have had tried to make light conversation with you but became shy at your silent demeanor around him.

Playing instruments, music, performing, skateboard, blonde hair, headwear, yellow beanie, bucket hat, flowers, children, sun, parties, rbf, caramel, city night, red brick.

Personal thoughts: if you give then the chance, they will take. They are a chaser, they are just waiting for the green light.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

PILE II

WHO ARE YOU?

Okay, so there’s a very heavy energy for my pile 2. Lots of trust issues, a very guarded individual, ice queen/king vibes. For starters, you guys are beautiful and attract a lot of superficial suitors, the type who only want you for your looks, which you are aware of. You keep your passions a secret and carry a big burden in your back (some of you might be the primary supporter to your family or household). You are a no-bullshit-allowed, get shit done person. Many seek your attention but lack deepness to themselves. And when you do find a subject of your attraction you cut that shit quick. You have a logical mindset. You don’t let anyone get too close to you, always on the ready to back away if emotions get involved. You don’t really let anyone get to truly know you.

However, when it comes to your goals and aspirations you turn into an unstoppable force to be reckon with. You become a great leader who people respect and admire. Some of you might be in a position of authority or in charge of a group. I see young people look at you in awestruck. You are an inspiration to many.

WHAT ATTRACTED YOUR PERSON TO YOU, AND WHAT IS HOLDING BACK THIS CONNECTION?

It was the same for this person. They saw you commit to a project or a goal and were mesmerized by your efficiency. They saw you weren’t only a pretty (beautiful) face but also an intelligent person with set morals. Some of you might be students, potentially in law major, or working in something related to the law.

Your person is very intuitive, and they wonder if you give a break to yourself every once in a while. They also feel a very guarded person, as it is a bit hard to get into their energy. They are not emotionally unavailable though, and they most definitely are not insecure. Your person is quiet, an observer. They admire you from a distance and are respectful of you and your work. They are very attracted to your work ethic and they way you handle problems. Your person likes that you are reliable and they would like to be the same for you. They want to be a person you can trust, to be a source of aid to you.

Some of you might be in different areas of interest though, and conversations between the two of you is difficult to come by. Imagine two people in a big, crowded room, each against a different corner but in view of one another.

They see that you are beautiful, but above all, they respect you. They want to be an equal to you. Your person would like to take long, warm baths with you and have deep conversations (some of them might be into the sciences, biology specifically). However, they feel as if you are not looking for an intimate relationship (some of you might be married to your work or your studies). They feel a sadness to you, loneliness perhaps. You have flourished beautifully in life, and have achieved a comfortable financial stability or you are working towards it. They don’t want to ruin your momentum, your peace. Your person would love to approach you with a romantic offer, though. A connection of two intellects. They are emotionally stable, they have experience in relationships, but not in the sense of being a player. Some might have had a long term relationship that ended when they outgrew one another.

Your person has a calm aura to them. They are a formidable partner. They want to be your rock, your safe place where the heaviness of your shadows disperse into clouds. They want to know about your passions, the activities you enjoy, your favorite desserts, the places you want to visit, and inquire about your childhood. How you became who you are today. They want a connection based on trust and honesty and curiosity of one another.

But your person feels as if you would not be willing to let them in. You seem so very far away from them. Oh, but they see you. They don’t have much hope for this connection, yet they can’t help but think of a stable future with you. Some of them might like to cook or bake. They have genuine intentions, but the amount of suitors around you and your clear dismissal of them prevents your person from taking action. They don’t plan on doing so either, not because of lack of wanting, but because they think and see you are not looking for a relationship.

Shadows, suit, lipstick, formal events, sweets, cold weather, black hair, snow, clean, petals, money, skyscrapers, tall windows, damp hair, tired eyes, longing.

Personal thoughts: return their gaze, pile two. Show interest in their work, all your person needs is to know you don’t find their attention a nuisance. Things might be slow at first, but there is a burning passion in the both of you. This is an equal partner. For some, it might be someone you have been waiting for.

This connection is up to you, pile two. If you don’t feel ready for it it’s okay to not seek it. But do not allow fear to be in control of you. This is a wonderful partner. Have in mind, though, that they are looking for a long term relationship. If that’s not what you want at the moment then discretion is advised.

Dear pile two, please take care of your mental health. It’s okay to take a break every once in a while. Don’t be afraid to be selfish, you matter and are important. Please stay safe.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

PILE III

WHO ARE YOU?

Well fuck, haha. Hello pile three.

You guys are loud. As in, you guys are not afraid of speaking out your mind and being vulnerable with your emotions and feelings. You guys are very fucking loud, cursing like a sailor and all. Some of you had a great childhood, others might have had a close relationship with your father figure growing up. But yeah, you don’t hold back when fighting for what you believe in. You actually enjoy getting into arguments, especially about silly stuff just to rile your opponent up (you are great at finding loopholes in their arguments and ideas).

You like to have fun and don’t have any trouble being around big crowds. You don’t necessarily seek to be the center of attention, but you attract a public with your charisma and conversation. You are very funny and a good storyteller. But you are also very stubborn, to the bone, stupidly so. Once an idea or belief is implemented in your head, good luck to the poor bastard who tries to swerve your mind. That aside, people just enjoy your company. Some of you might be the life of the party. You are everyone’s best friend and hanging out with you is always exciting.

Overall, you are very in tune with your emotions, even if they are slightly volatile and a bit obsessive. You are also good at expressing them, which sometimes (if not every time,) translates to you acting based on them.

Some of you might be an only child. You don’t like to share, and once you find something (or someone) you like it’s hard for you to let go, even when you know it’s bad for you or… doesn’t belong to you, haha. Happily ever after is something you believe in but don’t necessarily seek. Again, some of you had a good example when it came to relationships—specifically marriage—when growing up.

WHAT ATTRACTED YOUR PERSON TO YOU, AND WHAT IS HOLDING BACK THIS CONNECTION?

What attracted (and still does) this person to you is your honesty. How you are unapologetically you. Heart on your sleeve, mind in your mouth. They enjoy bantering with you, how easy the conversation flows between the two of you even when you disagree completely. They have fun with you (but who doesn’t, really). They find it endearing when you are stubborn during silly arguments even when they have proved you wrong, and they appreciate it even more when you accept defeat against them. You don’t take it too far when the joke stops being funny or threatens to turn into an issue.

They love the energy you bring into the room and how you challenge them to match it. But above all, they admire how deep your well of thoughts is and how you try to understand others without placing more importance to your own experiences and belief system.

Now, there seems to be a big issue here. An issue of three, to be more specific (come on, some of you saw this coming). This person might be already in a relationship or in a compromise of sorts that doesn’t allow for this connecting to flourish. It could be a family or religious situation. Family is very present in this pile.

This person might have a child. There is guilt in them, the aftermath of your encounters. The memory of you repeats in their head like an old film. Even if they try to go around the problem, a perpetual truth holds them back from you. The attraction is clear, even if some try to hide it. People notice, too, people judge in silence. This person is under the crowd’s eyes, and so are you, pile three.

This person is stuck or very grounded in their position/decision, which prevents this connection from evolving. This person yearns for you. You might catch them looking at you often but not taking any serious action, which might leave you confused and slightly hopeful. But they won’t come to you. There is something about running out of time or/and being too late to the game. External forces are also at play here, affecting this connection and pushing it astray. You are an addiction they are trying to cleanse, but both seem to share this obsessive nature when it comes to love.

There isn’t much I can say that isn’t already known. Feelings that can’t be spoken of. They don’t and won’t allow themselves to dwell much on fantasies of you, as it is mentally, and for some even physically, painful to them. It feels as if taking a step into this connection will ruin some kind of stability in their life.

Shots, parties, pillow thoughts, night, sky without stars, the number three, Taurus, arguments, beautiful smile, furtive glances, family, religion, loud music/noises, jazz, unhealthy addictions: alcohol, drugs, junk food.

Personal thoughts: I’m sorry pile three, it might not be what you wanted to hear, but sometimes it’s better to move on. No matter how hard it is. You got a lot of lions in your reading, so if you wish to work on this connection you must be strong and resilient, your energy alone is so powerful. Yet some stuff is better left unprovoked.

I apologize, there wasn’t much I could see about this person’s feelings towards you. They are very zealous of this information, a secret they want no one to discover. Please stay safe and be healthy in your decisions. I know you have the power to sway things in your favor, pile three, so whatever you chose, proceed with caution.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

That’s it for tonight! Thank you for reading till the end. Any kind of feedback is much appreciated, and please don’t be afraid to talk to me! The more contact I have with you guys the clearer your energy feels! Stay safe, the universe loves you all <3

[jenokoi]

How can you receive love?

INTUITIVE TAROT READING BY JENOKOI

A short tarot reading I did with my new deck. We’ll go a little bit at how you react to love and how it’s affecting your journey in this life.

Please take a deep breath and get comfortable. Let your intuition guide you to the answer you seek in the pictures below. Take as much time as you need.

PILE ONE > PILE TWO > PILE THREE

My tarot readings are guided by the current energy of my subject in question and my own spirit guides. Energies are prone to change based on our actions, and thus nothing is truly set on stone. Please take only what resonates, this is a general reading. It’s okay to not feel drawn to any of the images. If you have to force it into the narrative of your life, then it might not be for you. These readings are for entertainment purposes only.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

PILE I

My dear pile one, love is all around you. You are holding onto a fantasy, an idea. You ignore the signs leading you to a new path, like a fool you deny the chance to receive what you seek in what you already have. You believe if you keep on doing the same what you get will change. You force meaning into signs that ask you to open your eyes. You are tired, don’t realize you are drowning. Those beautiful feelings of yours are slowly turning into dead weight. Adventure is calling for you, but you have intoxicated your body and mind with a goal you no longer seem to want. But you have given too much to not see it through, even when the final line is out of view. Some of you might have a gambling addiction of sorts.

You are seeking a connection, be it to someone or a craft. But it seems your efforts are not being reciprocated or allowing you to advance. You are ignoring your calling for a purpose given to you rather than desired. It seems what was promised it’s not fulfilling you. You feel alone in a room so crowded. For some, family expects you to follow through with their wishes, not yours. You have made this path your destiny by force, and it has drained you of your will to continue.

Despite it all, deep down there’s is something you truly want and don’t believe you need. “It is not necessary, and thus I will ignore it.” You are being call to follow your dreams, to allow yourself to receive this gift. There might be someone in your life who brings you stability but not love. Your zone of comfort is making you miserable, but you are afraid of losing the safety it brings. For some, you might be ignoring a person who wants to give you the world, but you are afraid of the unknown. They represent clean, warm water, a new beginning. However, they are slowly growing tired of waiting for you.

This is very specific to some, take it or don’t, but do not force it; you might be in a dead end relationship and someone new has appeared who has bewitched you body and soul (they might be younger or older than you).

Be gentle to yourself and the world.

Cheetos, red hair, white snakes, ocean, bad eating habits, established relationships, period films, studying a major you have no affection for, age gap, Asian hereditary.

Advice from spirits: The Fool and The Emperor.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

PILE II

My sweet pile two, you are afraid of people. You think of love much but believe it will destroy you. Your emotions are yours and yours only, too honest, too fragile, and fear people will take advantage of your heart. Every offer you deny out of fear it is not what you want. “No one can return the love I give.” There’s so much passion in you, but you are careful with it, forbid it from growing on someone else’s garden. You think you will lose yourself in loving. Some of you might be insecure in your body through a lover’s gaze.

However, you seem to attract a lot of romantic prospects. People are willing to give themselves to you were you to give them the chance. In your eyes, none of them seek a true connection, which is what you desire. You are beautiful, pile two, and that makes you suspicious of everyone. Nonetheless, you enjoy the attention, the occasional playful banter, never too serious and never too real. You have made of love a dangerous threat. You have put all that love into yourself, and now no one could ever measure to it. But just as you nurtured your self-love, relationships take time and patience to evolve.

Your garden is filled with roses that no one can touch. You might have been betrayed before, not necessarily through a committed relationship. My sweet pile two, you don’t need to cut the roots of yourself to let them bloom somewhere else. Little by little, one seed at a time, you can expand all that love and passion on the ground you walk without losing yourself in the act. You have waited far too long for a miracle, but it won’t reach you unless you let it inside your home. Allow the world to know you, in all your beauty and glory, and it will worship the very ground you stand on.

Flowers, red dress, fatherless behavior, moon phases, birds, roses, night sky, hermit, feeling warm in cold weather, masculine energy, big breasts.

Advice from spirits: Ace of Cups and The Hanged Man.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

PILE III

Love passes you by as you wait for it to be perfect. Your heart is a privilege no one seems to be worth of. You are a strong-headed individual, resistant to the love you are being offered, despite your desire for it. You are a perfectionist. You might have been betrayed in the past, be it by someone or your own thoughts. You have been alone for quite some time, emotionally or physically, that you don’t find it necessary to have a partner to feel whole. This might be a good mindset had you not made it your biggest enemy. You are at peace in your loneliness, but often wonder how it would be like to share a life with a partner. Slowly but surely, you are walking a path of no return with a heart meant to not share a half.

You are held captive by the idea that one must be perfect to be your equal. You hold your prospects to the same standards as yourself. But darling, your own expectations of you drain you immensely. You have no time to nurture yourself, much less allow someone else the same. Even those you desire you forbid of your attention.

Be more kind to your own heart. Do not allow your past to consume your future. Your mind is beautiful, if a prison. Let yourself be wrong every once in a while, just as you learnt who you are by trying new things, let your heart find peace by listening to it. You are draining your soul in the physical world by not taking a break every once in a while. You overthink love too much, let it wither in your doubts. Your thoughts are all over the place, your head a home with no windows to filter the negative of them. Don’t hide from the world, it has been trying to help you for so long.

Gold jewelry, beautiful eyes, clouds, leaves, intrusive thoughts, past baggage, the color blue, long hair, dungeons and dragons.

Advice from spirits: Strength and the Devil.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Feedback is much appreciated. Remember the universe loves you.