#woke up from my nap gay and thirsty WHAT else is new.

[spohkh]

please god i need to give just one (1) kiss to one (1) girl this year. (MINIMUM REQUIREMENT)

[oceanflora]

Hey everyone, here's a shitty fic I wrote in like two hours last night because I am gay

A bad dream is no new experience to Todoroki Shouto, yet a whole week full of his worst fears is uncommon. He thought he had moved past this after Midoriya had freed him from feeling bound to be his father's tool, but it seems he was mistaken.

Night after night, he woke up drenched in sweat, panting, and the room frigid with ice frosting his bed sheets. "I'm better than this. I'm better than him," Todoroki murmured to himself as he stumbled out of the bed. No matter how hard he tried, he could never escape his past for long; his father and the intense training he forced upon him always loomed in the back of his thoughts.

Todoroki shuffled slowly down the hall and took the elevator down to the kitchen. He poured himself a glass of water and took a long sip of the cool drink.

"Oi, Halfie. What are you doing up at this time?" Todoroki chokes a bit, then collects himself.

"Good morning to you as well Bakugou." He receives a glare from the blonde as a response.

"The hell are you doing up at this time? Can't tell me you just so happened to travel down give floors by accident."

"I was thirsty, so I got a drink. It's not unusual for people to do," Todoroki flatly answered.

Bakugou narrowed his eyes at him and threw a thumb toward the clock in the room. "Like hell it is at three fuckin am! Not to mention you barely get up on a good morning to begin with!"

"Might I ask why you are up as well then? As you've pointed out, it's quite a late hour." Bakugou rolled his eyes.

"I'm up a lot you know, part of my bad insomnia you knew about forgot. Still doesn't explain why you're dodging my questions though." The two boys locked eyes, and Bakugou continued. "You aren't sleeping and you aren't fooling anyone pretty boy, wanna just tell someone what's wrong?" At this, the heterochromic boy scowled.

"And pray tell, why would I tell you of all people?" Todoroki's mask of indifference was slowly morphing to anger, and he quickly set down his glass on the counter. "There's no issue, I just woke up early. That is all." Bakugou balled his hands into fists, and moved closer to the other boy. Todoroki sharply said "Goodnight Bakugou." as he abruptly turned and walked away.

Bakugou let out a small string of explosions out of frustration. This is why he doesn't usually bother people with their emotions and feelings, especially emotionally stunted teenage boys with father issues. He grumbles for a bit before going back to his room.

A few hours later into the morning, and everyone is slowly emerging from their rooms to get ready for another day at UA. Bakugou is almost always one of the first ones there, already eating breakfast he made himself because he'd be damned if he went to school on an empty stomach. Becoming #1 hero meant starting your day off right with a good meal, he thought as he took another bite.

After half an hour, he surveyed the room for Todoroki, but saw no sign of him. "Why should I even care anyway, it's not like we're friends or anything," he thought as he glanced around. Kirishima was trying to steal some of his food and failing miserably, Deku was rambling on about God knows what like always, and Kaminari was trying to charge his phone with his quirk because he forgot to the night before; a normal morning.

By the time everyone got to class, Bakugou finally saw Todoroki and realized he looked even worse in brightly lit places. His hair was disheveled, his uniform was sloppily put on, and the bags under his eyes were apparent. The resident pretty boy of UA looked absolutely horrible, and everyone noticed.

Midoriya and Yaoyorozu tried to talk to him before class began, but he just waved them both off politely. Even during class, Todoroki noticed his best friends' worried looks and huffed. Perhaps his lack of sleep made him more irritable than usual. He made a small mental note to avoid most people if possible, and tried to focus on Aizawa's teaching instead of falling asleep.

After class, Todoroki had given up and just had started back to the dorms as soon as class ended. Yaoyorozu had reassured him that she was always available to speak to and support him should he need it, and he thanked her for her consideration and gently told her to not worry about him. Midoriya had given him a similar speech, but with more hinting to his issue. While Todoroki loved the green haired boy as his best friend, he also kindly told him this was no new issue and that he could certainly deal with it himself.

Unfortunately, someone had grabbed Todoroki's hand as he was walking, causing him to tense up and stop where he stood. "Excuse me, do you n-" Todoroki saw Bakugou's glare and attempted to pull his hand away, already uncomfortable with the situation.

"Yeah, I fucking need you to open up to someone for once in your goddamn life." He let go of Todoroki and crossed his arms.

"You just grabbed me, and now you demand I speak to you? I see you're a master of charm," Todoroki said sarcastically. "Also, your hands are sweaty and gross."

"They're not that sweaty dear prince, get over it. But yeah, because you avoid anyone else unless they force you." Todoroki opened his mouth in protest, but he was cut off. "Pinnaple hair and fucking Deku couldn't even get you to talk for more than three minutes to them, so something is definitely up."

Todoroki glared back at Bakugou. "Why do you care all of a sudden? Don't you hate me?"

Bakugou let out an annoyed tsk. "Maybe sometimes I actually try to help people you stupid candy cane!"

"Coming from the guy who delivers threats on a daily basis and explodes something with a poor temper, I feel I have reason to doubt this sentence."

"You know what-" Bakugou threatens, sparks already forming at his fists, "For once, just stop pretending you're okay! Just talk to me! You're a shitty liar and no one buys you're okay!"

"That's absolutely amazing to hear coming from you of all people," Todoroki sneers. "I haven't needed anyone's help for this, and I certainly don't need yours."

"Why the hell are you getting so defensive! Just open up to someone, it doesn't have to be me, just get some fucking help." Bakugou shoved his hands deep in his pockets and let out a deep huff. "In case you missed it, people fucking care about you. They're all worried as hell because of all the shit we've gone through lately and just want to be sure nothing is wrong."

Todoroki wanted to be mad, and he wanted to tell Bakugou he was wrong, but he knew he was right. "... You may have a point, but no one can help me with my problem." At this, Bakugou raised an eyebrow.

"I'm always right," Todoroki rolled his eyes. "but shoot, we've all dealt with a shitton of things lately, so maybe I'll know someone who's got your issue too." Todoroki tenses, and pondered on how to say his problem vaguely.

"I have been... suffering from reoccurring nightmares as of late," he quietly admitted. "It's nothing new, but they're happening much more frequently, and..." To Todoroki's surprise, Bakugou placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Dumbass, you think you're the only one who gets nightmares?" Todoroki shakes his head.

"No, it's just... something, I can't change, but it haunts me and I-"

"You hate it and wish it were different? Wish it would have ended differently?" Bakugou asked without missing a beat.

"How did you know?"

"Like I said, you're not the only one who gets nightmares. We've all been through our rough patches. All these villains are really getting sick of us now, don't you think?" A realization suddenly hits Todoroki.

"Oh. Bakugou, I'm-"

"I don't want your pity. It's nothing new, and life goes on strawberry milk." Bakugou says harshly. "Listen. We both got nightmares. If you can't sleep, try talking to someone. Even me if you really wanna, okay?"

Todoroki smiled a bit, "I think I can manage that." He bit his lip for a moment. "Thank you. I'm sorry for being-"

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Now stop moping or whatever and take a nap or some shit."

The nights were a bit more peaceful after that.

[queennicoleinboots]

This Week, I Wanted to Destroy the Minds of MANkind

A/N: An anti-gay slur is present, alternate universe, adult diapers present, lots of PMS, hints of feminism (sorry, Joebear and Albear)

I was 30 feet tall in an alternate universe where all females were dominant. Unfortunately, we needed MEN to reproduce. My husbear was more than happy that men were necessary. He believed men were dominant. Haha not here, baebae. Maybe on Earth, but not here.

"I NEED PENIS!!!!" I yelled as I stomped on small huts. I then sounded like Godzilla.

"Holy Shit the world is ending!" Garfield said as he ran for dear life.

Kissy pounced on him and then started to roll on and kick his ass.

Duke the Ace of Dodging and Riley the Ace of Riddling ran the fuck out of this reality.

Joebear sighed.

Albear looked at me and said, "Here we go. More feminist bullshit. Been around it all my life. Mama Bear was a feminist. It's true. They revolve their whole world around feminism!"

Garfield purred and laid next to my foot after Kissy beat his ass.

Joebear laughed and said, "Garfield loves his mommy."

I picked up Garfield and put him in my palm. I pet him in my hand.

Garfield curled up in my palm and continued to purr.

"TINY CLASSIFIED ADS are the answer to PMS!" Joebear yelled. "So is listening to Tony Robbins and Robert T. Kyosaki!'

"Yep. We were told that in the 90s. More feminist bullshit," Albear said. "More seminar shit. Fell for it in the 90s. So done with it."

Garfield wagged his tail, walked around in my paw, and purred.

"Maybe women should get their own 1-900 numbers," Joebear said.

Colonel America laughed.

"Those are adult lines," Albear said.

There was another 30-foot-tall female. She looked exactly like me, except that her hair was only waist-length, and she was wearing a diaper. She was PMSing, too. And her diaper wasn't clean. I could smell blood and feces. She cried and sounded like Godzilla as well. Sigh. Another thing to deal with.

I took her to a private knook in the woods and tried to find a replacement diaper for her.

Joebear was on his computer and putting in codes to deal with trying to calm the environment in this reality.

I had yet another copy of me fighting Peter while laughing. Peter sounded like King Kong because he was 30 feet tall. Ha! I was as tall as Peter.

"What the fuck? I'm not tall anymore!" Peter yelled.

"This is a woman's world! Of course not!" my clone said as she laughed and kicked him in the shin.

Albear was calling 1-900 lines and handing the phones to angry women. Kissy attacked the main phone.

Lindsay was running around in a royal maroon princess dress and a large gold crown. "Carrington!!! Where are you?! It's almost Thanksgiving! Have you bought the turkey yet?!" she screamed.

"I'm on my way to the butcher now, Queen Lindsay!" Carrington said as he scurried off in a hurry.

"I bought several!" Joebear screamed as he launched $120 20-pound turkeys in the air. He was feeding Amazonian women from all over.

Meanwhile, I had removed my first clone's dirty diaper and watched that thing quickly get eaten by angry female cochroaches, beetles, flies, bees, dogs, Venus Flytraps, and worms. Some of the plastic had been swallowed by the Earth.

I then turned on a shower hose and sprayed her with it. I washed her hair with natural shampoo and started to wash her face.

"I hate to bother you, but I'm thirsty," she whined.

I sprayed water in her mouth.

"Does anyone want OJ?" Albear asked.

"Do you mean O.J. Simpson?" Colonel America asked as he rode Murphee the Ace of Munching in the woods. Murphee the Ace of Munching also started eating what was left in my clone's diaper.

Albear blinked. "Huh?"

O.J. Simpson appeared and yelled, "Wow! Naked women!"

Joebear showed up with a jug of orange juice, a carton of ice cream, and a bag of chips. He sat down and started eating.

"Damn you fat!" I screamed.

"Don't make fun of me, Bae! I haven't eaten all day. Do you understand what a maniac I feel like! I feel like Randy Savage right now!" Joebear screamed before he growled and continued to eat.

"Would anyone ELSE like any orange juice?!" Albear screamed.

"Yes, please!" my clone and I screamed.

Albear threw jugs of orange juice at us, and we drank.

"Thank you," I said as I continued to spray my clone's body.

"Yes, thank you," my clone said as she moved around to let me spray everywhere.

"You're welcome," Albear said before he took the empty jugs and left.

Joebear and Murphee the Ace of Munching were eating. Colonel America was laughing and drinking Sam Adam's Oktoberfest beer. O.J. Simpson was jacking off.

And I was giving my clone a bath and continually spraying her lady parts. Unfortunately, I had to shave her, too. I even spent extra time washing her butt.

I conditioned her hair with coconut oil and rinsed her off before I dried her with a hair dryer.

She was laughing, dancing, and enjoying herself as the hot air hit her body. Once I dried her completely, a large clean diaper fell out of the sky and hit me on the head.

I looked up and saw a plane full of female monkeys waving at me.

"Thank you," I called before wrapping the diaper around my clone's butt. She helped me adjust the tabs before hugging me and going about her day.

Kissy meowed loudly and grew into a 25-foot-long cat. Oreo suddenly grew to be 50 feet long. Both of them meowed loudly.

When Joebear was finished eating and talking to the cats, I went over and mauled him. Then, I kissed his face and belly. I licked the underside of his belly.

"Oh no! I gotta poop!" Joebear said as he hauled ass on all fours away to shit on a tree that was 40 feet away.

I laughed and found Murphee the Ace of Munching barking at my diapered clone. Colonel America was tapping her right shin with his Shield.

"SO BIG!" Joebear yelled.

I cracked up and sprayed water in his bear butt. He was laughing as he scrubbed his butt with a bar of soap.

"Bae! This is fucked up!" He said as he laughed and washed his bear genitals.

"It needs to be done, sexy beast!" I said as I hosed my bear off.

Kissy and Oreo waited for him and meowed loudly.

Joebear laughed and said, "You big bitches!" He then got on Kissy's back and rode away. Oreo laid down and meowed before she got up and searched for Albear.

"When you return, I want business!" I screamed.

My diapered clone then picked up Colonel America and Murphee and carried them around.

Peter and my other clone were still fighting and laughing.

Garfield climbed a tree and meowed at me before laying down on said tree and purring. I pet him. I was getting sleepy.

O.J. Simpson made monkey sounds as he was ejaculating all over the place.

I laid down and curled up near a tree.

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Joebear was singing "Disarm" by Smashing Pumpkins in my ear.

"I love this song, but I was asleep, Bae! Lay down," I said.

He laid down and sang "New Year's Day" by U2.

"Thank you, Bae. Much better," I said.

Colonel America yelled and started singing along. Murphee the Ace of Munching barked to the rhythm of the song. He then spoke, "Windows 10 may not be bad after all! Please, for the love of God, let Windows 10 be the savior for makind against PMSing women!!!"

Depeche Mode's "People are People" started playing in the background.

Joebear and Albear sang along loudly. I was playfully beating both of them to the beat of the song. Kissy was meowing to the beat of the song. I kissed Joebear and Albear rapidly on the cheeks. Joebear beat himself to the beat of the song. I chuckled.

My diapered clone also beat Albear and Joebear.

"Baes!!!" Albear and Joebear yelled.

My diapered clone and I were making Murloc sounds.

Colonel America laughed as he tried to control my diapered clone. Murphee the Ace of Munching started singing "Smooth Criminal" by Alien Ant Farm.

Meanwhile, Peter screamed "OH YOU JUST WANTED TO BE A BITCH!" to my other clone.

"You're goddamn right I did! You're the one that told me to fuck off after I offered you peppermint coffee and suggested you not buy a faggotty ass Mac Computer. That shit is too retarded even for you!" she yelled.

"I had to! I was trying not to get your ass in EVEN MORE trouble. You're not the only fucking female who regularly exists in my house!" Peter yelled.

Metallica's "Enter Sandman" was playing in the background.

I was beating Joebear to the beat of the song. Joebear and Albear were singing the lyrics. Joebear drank a sip of salt water while Albear growled. Joebear coughed and screamed.

Kissy, Garfield, Gabby, Oreo, and Murphee the Ace of Munching headbanged. Murphee the Ace of Munching howled.

Colonel America laughed while my diapered clone put on a black robe and laid down to sleep.

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Garfield rubbed up against me while Joebear, Albear, Colonel America, Peter, and Murphee the Ace of Munching were imitating Smashing Pumpkins and playing "1979."

Joebear and Albear were born in 1979. Colonel America was 30 years old in 1979, and his life was just then starting to get unfucked. Peter was 15 years old in 1979, and females of all ages worshipped the ground he walked on. Murphee the Ace of Munching wasn't even thought of in 1979.

The diapered clone woke up from her nap. All three of my clones were sitting in angry chairs.

Joebear, Albear, Colonel America, Peter, and Murphee the Ace of Munching were now playing "Angry Chair" by Alice in Chains.

Pauno, my Greek God friend who looked like Dionysus, came out of the woods to listen to Albear, Peter, and Joebear screaming the lyrics.

"Lost my mind, yeah

Can't find it anywhere

Corporate prison, we stay

I'm a dull boy, work all day

So I'm strung out anyway

Loneliness is not a phase

Field of pain is where I graze

Serenity is far away

Saw my reflection and cried

So little hope that I died, oh

Feed me your lies, open wide

Weight of my heart, not the size, oh

I don't mind, yeah

I don't mind, yeah

Lost my mind, yeah

Can't find it anywhere

I DON'T MIND!!!"

Murphee the Ace of Munching barked angrily. Colonel America was beating the drums with his Thor hammer.

Pauno then started singing "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" by Smashing Pumpkins. The other five clowns started playing and singing along. Kissy was meowing along.

The three of us clones got out of our chairs and beat on Joebear, Colonel America, and Peter.

Oreo screamed at Albear and chased him around on the stage.

Meeka the Ace of Mayhem, a Chinook that was a mix of Australian and German shepherds, flew out of the woods and was barking straight at Murphee the Ace of Munching. She was barking to the rhythm of the song.

Murphee the Ace of Munching flew off the stage and barked repeatedly at Meeka the Ace of Mayhem. They were barking, growling, and fighting. They even pawed the ground to find a spot to lay on.

Pauno sang "Polly Wants A Cracker" by Nirvana. Peter, Joebear, Albear, and Colonel America were playing the song. Joebear and Albear was beating themselves to the song.

My clones and I made Murloc sounds to annoy the men. Men must be destroyed, lol.

Female dinosaurs were roaming the Earth and knocking over the male Giants before they started eating them.

My clones and I grabbed food from woods and farms and started feeding Joebear, Albear, Garfield, Colonel America, Peter, Murphee the Ace of Munching, Gabby, Pauno, and Fredbear. Fredbear was a random half-human half-black bear who joined in some festivities.

Joebear burped himself and playbeat me in appreciation.