#wote this while procrastinating on updating bleachwhite

[megalodont]

a stitch in time saves nine

Nie Huaisang was not an idiot, but sometimes he wished he was. 

“Sect Leader, you know meditation is essential for the conditioning of your golden core—”

“Are you my guard or my mother? Of course I know! But it’s so boring. I already told you I’m spending the afternoon painting, you can’t change my mind.”

“Sect Leader—” 

“Sect Leader, Sect Leader. If I am your leader why aren’t you listening to me?” Nie Huaisang pouted. “I’ll do it tomorrow. The light is only going to be this good for another hour, I don’t wanna waste it meditating. I refuse. Go switch with another guard if you don’t like it.” Nie Huaisang shooed the man with his fan and flounced into the pavilion in a swirl of embroidery and silk. As he settled in front of the desk he heard the man sigh, and then the dreaded call went out. 

“Someone fetch Hu Junhui!” 

“Don’t call her!” Nie Huaisang yelped.

“I am under specific orders to call her when the situation requires it,” the guard said steadily.

“I gave you those orders! Now I’m taking it back!”

“Sect Leader made it clear that his orders were incontrovertible, unable to be retracted even by himself.”

“I know that, I said it,” Nie Huaisang grumbled, but he knew he’d already lost. He never won this particular battle—heavens curse him for the machinations of his past self. 

“Sect Leader Nie,” came a gentle voice from behind the door. 

Nie Huaisang plonked his face into his palm, letting it squish his cheek. “Enter,” he grumbled.

The door slid open to reveal an older lady with a beatific smile. Though her face was lined and her hair shot with silver she was still beautiful. She bowed deeply. He hated her so much.

“If I may begin, Sect Leader?”

“No,” he told her, but he knew it was useless.

“Grey hair,” she said serenely, as if he had not spoken. “Crow’s feet. Liver spots. The loss of your figure. Hands too unsteady for calligraphy. Eyesight too poor to read poetry by moonlight. Ears that can no longer hear the highest, purest notes. Older people do not have the patience or conditioning to stalk birds for days on end. A guttering core will not keep you warm, and in the winter you will have to cover your elegant clothes with heavy, unflattering cloaks. Sect Leader Nie knows the most beautiful vistas are visible only by sword, and that only cultivators can paint with light. Older people cannot handle food that is too rich, nor excessive amounts of alcohol. As they age men sometimes lose their powers in bed—”

“Okay,” Nie Huaisang interupted. “Okay! I’ll go meditate! Ayi, why do you like this job?” He whined. “I’ll pay you double what you’re getting to just not do it. You can even still live here if you want!”

“Sect Leader Nie pays me very generously already,” the woman said pleasantly. “I am content with things as they are.”

“I could fire you, you know.”

“My contract with Sect Leader Nie ensures my employment in perpetuity,” came the placid reply. 

Nie Huaisang’s head hit the desk.

*

“Sect Leader Yao is not satisfied with the agreement. This treaty is essential to the continued prosperity of Qinghe. You cannot send him away until he signs.”

“Can’t I?” Nie Huaisang groused. “This is my keep. We’ve been talking for hours, the man just refuses to see sense! I won’t keep banging my head against that wall, I can literally feel myself breaking out. Kick him out.” His advisors did not move. Neither did the guards. “You guys,” Nie Huaisang moaned. “Who exactly is in charge here? Get that odious man out of my sight, hearing, and mind, I’m begging you. A whole day of meetings with Sect Leader Yao is too much, no one could be expected to withstand that!”

His advisors glanced at each other, and one gave a short nod to the guard by the door, who swiftly exited. Nie Huaisang’s heart sank. 

“Sect Leader Nie,” came that hateful voice a moment later, just as smooth and affable as it always was. 

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled, slumping on his throne. “Get on with it, I guess.”

“If an agreement with Sect Leader Yao cannot be reached today, Sect Leader Yao will have to stay the night. Even if ejected from the Unclean Realm he will return. Due to his offense at being rebuffed, Sect Leader Yao will doubtless become quarrelsome and inflexible—”

“He’s already quarrelsome and inflexible,” Nie Huaisung grumbled.

“—to an even greater degree than he was today. If an arrangement cannot be made in these meetings then the deal will fall through. The cost of raising sheep will rise, and with them the price of wool. Farmers will need financial support, which will require many hours of reading tedious production reports and meetings with aggrieved farm owners. New taxes will need to be devised, which will require much research and consideration. There will certainly be dissent as a result of this tax, and Sect Leader Nie will be required to listen to many complaints from wealthy merchants and other constituents. The amount of time Sect Leader has for leisure activities coming up to winter is already so small,” she said sweetly. “It would be a shame if it were diminished further.”  

“It would be a shame if you dropped dead,” Nie Huaisang muttered into his palms.

“I am afraid I could not make out what Sect Leader Nie has just said.”

He raised his head from his hands to scowl at her petulantly. “You’ve convinced me. I’ll suck it up for a few more hours, okay. Are you happy?”

Hu Junhui’s smile was as lovely and immovable as jade. “I am always happy, Sect Leader. This one thanks you for your concern.” She bowed deeply. “If that is all?” 

Nie Huaisang huffed. Yeah yeah. Send Sect Leader Yao in on your way out.”

*

“Sorry, I can’t read.” 

“Sect Leader, this documentation is essential to the understanding of that province’s geopolitical landscape. If the negotiations go poorly QingheNie might lose our longstanding—and mutually beneficial—alliance with them.”

“And that sounds terrible, but I’m afraid I can’t help you. I’ve lost the ability to read. It’s tragic, I’ll never be able to read a good novel again, let alone poetry. I’m inconsolable. How will I go on? Every day will be so pale and lifeless without the magic of the written word to bring me joy—”

“Hu Junhui!”

“—oh, dammit.” Nie Huaisang cursed his previous self so harshly he might well have offended his progenitors as well.

“Sect Leader,” Hu Junhui greeted calmly, arriving with suspicious speed from a side door.

“...who?”

“The mountains of our sister province are exquisite,” she began without acknowledging his deflection. “The larch trees are especially beautiful in the autumn time. They are the only place in the world where one can find the superb pheasant—but of course Sect Leader Nie is aware of this. He is renowned for his knowledge of rare and wonderful birdlife. What a shame it would be if their borders were no longer open to travel from Qinghe! The textiles that come from that region are also incredible, as Sect Leader Nie knows. The local breed of goat produced an unequalled fibre, so if trade were to be impacted in some way—”

“I know all this already!” Nie Huaisang whined. “I don’t care about that, I already own loads of stuff from there, I don’t care. We’ve been allies for generations anyway, our relationship isn’t going to break down because I couldn’t remember some historical fact in one meeting.”

“Sect Leader Nie is very wise,” Hu Junhui said, bowing. “He of course knows that the newly installed regent is a notorious traditionalist and will demand many hours of discourse regarding their ties to Qinghe if he is not satisfied with QingheNie’s acknowledgement of their shared history. Meetings with him have been known to drag out for weeks.”

“...you’re making that up.”

“This one heard it from Sect Leader Jiang’s senior disciple during their visit in the spring.”

“...weeks?”

“Several.”

Nie Huaisang pressed his fingers to the pain throbbing in his temple. 

“Would you look at that. My ability to read has miraculously returned. What’s this?” He picked up a piece of paper at random. “A resignation letter from Hu Junhui? Ah, what a shame, what a shame. Well, enjoy the rest of your life, ayi, take care, say hello to your family for me, so long, safe travels!”

“I’ll leave you to your reading, Sect Leader,” Hu Junhui said as if he had not spoken. She already knew she’d won.

*

“I don’t care how important the annual audit is, I already told you I’m allergic to mathematics!”

“Hu Junhui!”

*

“I don’t care who he is, this meteor shower won’t appear again for twenty years!”

“Hu Junhui!”

*

“One more jar. If I have to meet with these people I’m at least going to be drunk for it.”

“Hu Junhui!”

*

“What do you mean I need to do it myself, that’s literally why I have disciples.”

“Hu Junhui!”

*

“Another hour, for heaven’s sake, it’s far too early to be awake!”

“Hu Junhui!”

*

“It’s not a ‘frivolous excursion’, I saw a blue-tailed bee-eater! What does it matter if there’s a discussion conference on!”

“Hu Junhui!”

*

Nie Huaisang blinked blearily at the figure in the doorway, vision swimming with liquor and tears.

“Sect Leader Nie.”

Nie Huaisang put his head back down on the table. “Who called you, Hu Junhui,” he slurred, exhausted. “I told them I wasn’t to be disturbed.”

“No one called for me, Sect Leader. We are all aware of what day it is.”

Then why are you here? He wanted to howl, but he couldn’t find the energy. He took another swig of wine, spilling half of it down his chin. It didn’t make much difference—his face was wet anyway. 

The room had grown dark at some point. Nie Huaisang had no idea how long he’d been sitting there drinking. He’d lain in bed until well after lunch, and no one had bothered to offer him dinner, knowing it would be refused.  

“Chifeng-zun would never begrudge his cherished younger brother the need to grieve, but it would pain him to see him neglect his health in any way.” Nie Huaisang didn’t answer. “This one knows he used to bring Sect Leader Nie congee on the anniversary of his mother’s death, because Sect Leader Nie found it difficult to eat. Chifeng-zun never let his brother drink alone, or to excess, on such days. It brought him comfort that he could at least provide for Sect Leader’s body when his heart was suffering.” Nie Huaisang swallowed thickly, the sound loud in the silent room. The tears had never really stopped, but they flowed freely once more, soaking into his hair. “Chifeng-zun would rest easily indeed, knowing his brother was caring for himself.”

Nie Huaisang’s hand slipped off the wine jug to flop limply to the ground. He heard the rustle of Hu Junhui’s clothing, and then a servant was placing a bowl of fragrant congee and jug of water on the table next to him. Hu Junhui thanked the servant, stepping close enough to pick up the wine jug and replace it with a handkerchief. 

She returned to the door and her clothes rustled again as she bowed. “Sect Leader.”

“Hu Junhui,” Nie huaisang said before she could close the door behind her. 

“Yes, Sect Leader?”

“Whoever hired you was pretty smart.”

“I have always thought so,” she said, her calm voice betraying a hint of warmth. “It is my honour to help him to be his best self. Goodnight, Sect Leader.”

“Goodnight, ayi.”

*

btw this is also on ao3 here, bc i am new to posting fic on tumblr and feel weird about it