#wow having opinions out loud is cathartic and terrifying!

[erstwhilesparrow]

☕️ + any combination of [hannigram, cc!dream, c!dream, ecology, religion]

hello! :] under the cut for length:

hannigram: i. so i haven't actually even finished season 1? there is probably A Lot that i am missing, it is safe to assume a certain about of Saying Words Recreationally, but i am a little obsessed with the way that people keep talking about will like he automatically gets no say in any of the things they're deciding about him? (i am thinking of, and this may be a misremembered scene, alana bloom and hannibal talking about What's Best For Him, having-a-therapist-wise, while he is conspicuously absent from the room) and it's... he's already meat to them. meat that does interesting things when poked, meat that can be very useful, but meat! hannibal being a cannibal is just allowing the possibility of making that literal. and i get the other appeal here, of [being known by someone in ways no one else ever will], but i don't know if i have a solid feeling about that yet? also, i'm sure the fandom is insufferable about them. no i will not elaborate. (lying because i'm immediately elaborating now: i've seen at least two really good fics that the authors labelled as spitefic, and they were just Correct, to the best of my knowledge? i'm deeply apprehensive about what they could possibly have been a response to.)

cc!dream: part of me wants to say "oh okay time to swing bats at hornets' nests today" but i don't really believe that my opinion of him is that controversial? (the thing i do believe is that if the wrong person sees this at the wrong time, it will be like i did that swinging anyway. such is the nature of massive fanbases. whatever.) starting with Current Events: i haven't read the google doc, and probably won't look into The Current Events further than what i've already seen, but i understand he at minimum was flirting with a fan who was still in high school when he was 21 and sending her private snapchats and that's. Don't Do That?? Hey, That's Fucked, There's A Power Imbalance Here That You Cannot Ignore, Don't Do That. i get why people's reaction was to drop him. i think it's fucked [in ways and for reasons i cannot elaborate on in this already giant post] that he's probably still going to be completely fine after this. beyond that, the amount of attention i pay him is minimal.

god, fuck, i think i talked myself into being kind of mad about this by remembering the fact that there are probably so many kids that look up to him. fucking hell. okay. I'm Not Learning / Thinking More About This. You Can't Make Me. The World Is Not Changed By Me Getting Mad On My Tumblr Blog Of Twelve Followers Total. moving on.

c!dream: oh my god he sucks so bad i want to strangle him (<- thinking about the exile trials + verdict)

no further analysis.

ecology: uh. surface opinion: cool field of study! ecologists in general seem like really cool people. more people should care about this. more personally: i feel weird about this one? like as a kid i read every animal book i could get my hands on and completely sincerely believed those pages they always had at the end about how You Can Change The World By Recycling :) . but also being In Nature wigs me out? but also i care about living creatures and their relations to each other? but also how much do i get to really say that and mean it when the most i've done is Occasionally Relocate Bugs Outside and Nod Sympathetically At Spiders? conflicted about this.

religion: another one i feel weird about! because i was born and raised in canada (sparrowlore for you, i guess, if you couldn't guess from how i spell colour) i feel there's like a background radiation level of knowledge i have about christianity that i don't really have for any other religion? so i am a bit suspicious, like, when i say 'religion' do i mean that or do i mean 'christianity'? and i keep saying the universe, which feels like i just want the christian god to go by a different name, but if asked directly i would say i'm probably an atheist? i... would like to be more principled about my atheism. also, part of me wants to be like "other people's religion is none of my business, let people be", but also part of me that wants to be like, "here are the specific historical instances that show i cannot ignore how religion has been repeatedly used to justify / perpetuate horrific acts and i want to be wary of the institution that allowed for those acts". i don't have a good sense of how to... reason about that divide? and like maybe i shouldn't even be framing it as that particular dichotomy? what i'm saying is both these impulses exist in me at once. and that is, all at once, how i feel about religion.