#writing this made me want to get back to paper doll;; i miss writing idol!au fics

[winetae]

⇾ cross the line (m).

idol!au + impreg kink 

⇁ female reader x seokjin

⇁ smut, idol!au

⇁ unprotected sex, kink discovery, dirty talk ↳  (supposed to be a drabble); 3.8k

. . .

seokjin knows he shouldn’t, but he can’t stop himself from coming back to you. 

(a/n) ik this is idol!au but seokjin is a bit ooc !! i don’t think he’s really like this irl ok,, also tagging addie bc she said she’s a thirsty hoe n wants to read @chinnychimchim (ilu) inspired by pic above (ldflfjkj) + title taken from ariana grande’s song into you which was the original title for this fic (ha) love u all & happy holidays. 

Seokjin liked to think he had excellent control over his own emotions. 

How could he not when this particular skill was one of his many job requirements? He had learned long ago to conceal his frustration with forced smiles and loud laughs, to veil any traces of fatigue behind an immaculate appearance. It was the only way to maintain his manufactured idol image.

But Seokjin was only human. There were times when his carefully crafted mask shattered around the edges, his real feelings bleeding through the tiny cracks. Between Bangtan’s packed schedules and the stress from the impending comeback, his patience often hung by a thread. The younger members in particular liked to push their luck and test his tolerance, their jokes teetering between friendly banter and blatant disrespect. Only years of practice had helped him curb his instinctive desire to put them back in their place. 

Thankfully the constant presence of cameras kept him in check. Only the occasional tick in his jaw betrayed his vexation. On the days when he felt particularly vindictive, he slapped a friendly hand over Jungkook’s shoulder with more force than necessary. Just as a reminder. 

But those slips in composure rarely happened, all things considered. Seokjin was good at bottling up his feelings, a charming smile always ready to deflect any intrusive questions asked by reporters. The exaggerated winks and excessive air kisses were now an automatic response to the shouts of his name, and all the boasting no longer made his ears turn pink from embarrassment. Every day, he played his role as the narcissistic visual convincingly, the shameless bragging more for comedic effect than anything else (the extra five seconds of screen time were a welcome bonus). 

Managing his image wasn’t an easy feat by any means. The list of things he wasn’t allowed to do or say was twice as long as the one detailing what he was given permission to do. Even when the cameras stopped rolling, he had to be mindful of his every expression and action. 

Naturally, there were times when he wanted to say ‘fuck this’ and throw caution to the wind. He was sure most of his friends shared the same sentiment. They all coped with it in different ways; Yoongi vented his anger through his lyrics, making a home for himself in his studio, and Hoseok smuggled late night snacks into his room when their manager wasn’t looking. 

Seokjin’s preferred method of rebellion was you. 

Or, more specifically, fucking you into the sheets in hotel rooms when your schedules permitted it. 

It was the ultimate transgression, but Seokjin would be lying if he said the adrenaline rush didn’t excite him.

He could handle extreme dieting even if his stomach grumbled in protest. He could turn a blind eye to the vicious comments left under his articles even if he had to subdue his initial burst of anger. There were, however, rules he didn’t like to play by and assumptions he didn’t care to humor. 

Some would argue that it was more effort than it was worth. Every secret rendezvous necessitated weeks of planning, lots of spare money, and, more often than not, involved the signing of two or three non-disclosure agreements. Even to him, the lengths he went for a fuck seemed like too much trouble, especially when the risks were so high. 

But then he remembered how good your tight heat squeezed around him, your manicured nails digging into his shoulders as you wrapped your legs around his waist with unbridled enthusiasm. Whenever he was buried balls deep inside of you, your name caught in the back of his throat, he reminded himself that you were absolutely worth it. 

There was nothing more satisfying than seeing you fucked out underneath him, your lips bitten-red and parted to ask for more. You always looked so far gone, tears prickling the corner of your eyes when you shuddered in ecstasy, and it did wonders for his ego. 

It was the image of you falling apart on his cock—eyes unfocused, voice hoarse, skin dewy with perspiration—that stayed ingrained in his mind long after the sun had risen up. The memory was barely enough to keep his desires at bay during the weeks that separated the nights spent with you, but Seokjin was forced to make do with the hazy and fading recollections of your trysts. He had nothing else to hang on to. There were no phone calls, no Facetime dates, no ‘good morning’ messages or secret couple clothing exchanged. What the both of you shared wasn’t a relationship, not in the traditional sense of the term, and it sure as hell wasn’t a friendship, either. 

As much as he wanted to spend more time with you, these days he hardly had time to squeeze in a 3 hour nap, let alone find the time to jerk one off in the privacy of his shared bathroom. Concert prep always left him drained, his body too exhausted and sore to even think about working himself to completion. Thoughts of you became less and less frequent as his attention was monopolized by work. All of his days blended into one monotonous routine of repetitive and predictable press questions and the same, fixed set list. 

February kicked in with their new song lining up the charts. He had never been more thankful for the opportunity to perform new songs, new choreos—anything that would break the pattern his body had unwillingly gotten used to. 

The only thing he hated about promotion cycles were the inevitable music show performances. Waking up at the crack of dawn for pre-recordings and then having to kill time for the rest of the day was a pain in the ass he would pay to avoid if he could. 

Seokjin was notorious for complaining about the long waiting hours—his crabby behavior a thing of legend among the staff. It was childish, but he was too petty to change his ways. Bad habits die hard, as they said.

Today, however, he was uncharacteristically quiet, his compliance earning raised eyebrows from staff and members alike. If Yoongi was surprised by his lack of grumbling this time around, he probably hadn’t realized that your comeback had coincidentally overlapped with his.

Eyes trained on the screen in front of him, his thoughts wandered back to all of your stolen moments together. He couldn’t help but notice how your smile looked less strained than it used to be, your eyes twinkling under the harsh stage lights. Seokjin wondered if you had moved on and found someone else to satisfy your needs during the months he hadn’t seen your face. Something ugly twisted in his chest; he hated that he was so replaceable. 

As soon as he finished performing one of their newest songs, his expression darkened again, having caught sight of you as you lined up with your group members. Belatedly, he remembered the presence of the cameras and the watching eyes all around him and hurriedly schooled his features. 

Standing on Music Bank’s ending stage; he waved at the audience blindly, guided by the screams of his name, and aimed his trademark winks at the over-enthusiastic crowd who were more than happy to pretend they were directed at them. He indulged them for a little longer, before deeming his quota of fan-service for the day fulfilled, his attention inevitably strayed back to you. 

Thinking back, he wasn’t sure what he was expecting from you. Even when you two had been seeing each other regularly, neither of you were the type to showcase your closeness outside of closed doors. 

Seokjin wasn’t awaiting a long heart-to-heart conversation or a warm catching up session, but surely you could have reciprocated his smile? When you greeted him with a formal bow, Seokjin fought hard to keep the frown off his face. Why did it feel like a subtle dismissal? Were you mad at him for not staying in contact? He didn’t want to admit how much all of this bothered him. Why was he getting so worked up? After all, you weren’t his girlfriend; you didn’t owe him anything. Was he…overreacting? 

A headache was on its way, he could feel it. When it was time to line up and greet the KBS PD, the promoting groups huddled on either side of the corridor while waiting for him to come out of his waiting room. Leaning his weight back against the wall, his eyes kept flickering back to you. It was easy to spot you out of the crowd; your tinkling laugh recognizable, his ear trained. 

The corner of your eyes crinkled, your expensive, shiny earrings dangling whenever you tipped your head back to laugh at one of your member’s joke. Seokjin’s chest constricted, an invisible weight pressing down until it was hard to breathe. He hadn’t realized he had made his staring obvious until another girl elbowed you, jutting her chin in his direction.

Like a deer in headlights, he stood there like an idiot as you finally acknowledged him with a surprised look painting your face. You offered him a polite smile, confusion evident by the way your brow creased. Now that you were in front of him again, so near, he felt the familiar, distracting tug of arousal. There was something else, too, twinging at his heart, but he focused on the heat stirring in the pit of his belly instead. 

He toyed with the phone in his pocket, his eyes never leaving yours, before finally deciding to just go for it, not wanting to wuss out again and regret it. 

[Seokjin] : Hey. Can we talk? 

.

.

He should have predicted that falling into bed with you would be stupidly easy, like a habit he would never grow out of.

“Fuck, I forgot the condoms.” He had never wanted to slam his head against a wall in sheer frustration until now. Sitting back on his haunches, he cast a dejected look over the expanse of your exposed body, his mouth downturned in a pout. 

Should he text his manager hyung to get him some? He was desperate enough to put aside his pride and ask. 

“It’s okay,” you reassured him, grabbing his hand between your dainty fingers before he could reach for his phone. “I’m clean, are you?”

“Y-yeah.” He licked his plump lips, his answer a breathless stutter. Did you—? “Wait, are you sure?”

He had never not used a condom. With you, or anyone else for that matter. Management had advocated the practice of safe sex enough times that he always kept a condom in his wallet just in case. He had been warned about the dangers of unprotected sex so many times that the mere idea of fucking you bare made his chest constrict with worry. What if…?

“Please, I want you so bad,” you whined, tugging his hand impatiently and effectively putting a stop to his inner monologue. 

Seokjin swallowed thickly as you guided him to the apex of your thighs because, fuck. How were you so wet already? He ran a tentative index finger along your slick folds, feeling the extent of your arousal. A sharp intake of breath alerted him of your sensitivity and he couldn’t stop himself from applying a little more pressure just to hear the sound again. 

You usually needed longer to get ready for him, but you were so wet and slippery that Seokjin surmised he could probably push himself into you with relative ease. His head spun as the tempting visual clouded his vision in a haze of lust. 

“Stop making me wait.”

The audible whine in your voice made the surface of his skin tingle with renewed desire, and he was left momentarily speechless. His shaft stiffened against his thigh, not indifferent to the irresistible sight in front of him. There was no way of hiding how much your actions affected him, and you were quick to take advantage of that.

“Want you to fuck me raw,” you continued, eyes lidded, gyrating your hips in circular motions against his still hand. Already foreseeing he would give in to your request, you didn’t bother to conceal the small yet victorious smirk on your face. “It’s all I could think about when we weren’t together, I missed you so much. My fingers can never compare to your dick.”

Your filthy words made his cock jump, the red tip already leaking with drops of pre-cum. What the fuck. Had he really heard you say…? He couldn’t recall you being this needy or demanding before, but the gleam in your eyes confirmed you had indeed crooned out such brazen and forward words. 

“You can’t just say that, shit,” he squeezed the base of his erection, trying to subtly ease off the edge. The only thought running through his mind right now was how much he needed to fuck you. Maybe it was because his orgasm was long overdue…but it wouldn’t take much longer to bust a nut if you kept talking like that. “Okay, okay, hold on a sec.”

He slipped a finger inside of you, a loud squelching sound telling him your body was lubricated enough already. His bottom lip stayed nestled between his teeth as he focused on getting you ready for his cock. Not that you seemed to need it. You felt so wet, your body eagerly accommodating his intruding digits as if it was welcoming him back. 

“I’m gonna go in now, yeah?” 

“Hurry.” He ignored your whiny mewl in favor of slowly sinking into you. Groans of satisfaction mingled as he inched himself into you. Shaking his bangs out of his eyes so that he wouldn’t miss any shift of expression on your face, he greedily took in the sight of your face scrunched up in pleasure. He gave a tentative thrust of his hips to test the waters, and was rewarded with a delicious moan. Pupils blown dark with pleasure, you pulled him down closer so that your lips could melt against his.

It was frighteningly easy how quickly his body warmed up to yours, how his hands seemed to remember all of your sensitive spots, how his hips settled into the rhythm you liked best. Some things just couldn’t be forgotten, it seemed. Swimming, dancing, cooking his mom’s favorite recipe—you somehow fell in the same category. Months had passed between now and you last liaison, but his body reacted so naturally, as if it relied on muscle memory.

His thrusting became less coordinated, the set pace forgotten. Maybe if he was less taken by lust, he would be embarrassed for not lasting very long. In his defense, it had been a very long time since he last had sex, and no normal human being could resist your hot pussy, anyway. 

“I’m close,” he grunted, the urgency he felt hard to disguise. To this, you crossed your legs around his middle a little tighter, silently inviting him to sink in deeper. He slid a hand up one of your smooth thighs, his fingers sinking into the skin in warning, “Fuck, I have to pull out, sweetheart.” 

“Cum in me. C-can you do that? I want you to fuck me full of cum. Please?” You said the last word so sweetly it made your demand all the more alluring. 

“We shouldn’t, what if—”

“Why not? O-oh.” Your eyes widened in realization. It seemed like you had been knee-deep in lust and had forgotten all about the risks of unprotected sex. “Ah, mmh, but I think you be a good daddy.”

What a filthy mouth you had. Seokjin wondered what kind of porn you had watched to learn all of this…

His hips stuttered, the hand around your thigh gripping the skin so hard he was sure his fingerprints would stay permanently inked on your skin. The clamping of your walls around him, vice-tight, made him realize that this wasn’t just said in jest. You really… You were really into this. The realization made his eyes darken with determination, your pleasure the only object of his attention. 

“F-fuck. Is this what happens when I don’t give you my cum? You’re so horny you’re willing to let me knock you up?” He growled into the shell of your ear, his heart hammering in his chest so loudly he thought it would burst. This was undoubtedly uncharted territory, but he wanted—no, needed—to make you lose it on his cock one last time before he reached his end. “You’ve been such a good cockslut for me, maybe I will reward you.”

“Seokjin!” 

He groaned in turn, your tight pussy trying to milk him as the aftershocks of your climax made you tremble like a leaf in his arms. He distantly registered the tell-tale signs of his own impending release by the way his balls tightened and his stomach tensed. Hips rocking into yours with abandon, he entertained the thought of giving you what you begged for. Having never experienced it before, he could only imagine how it would feel like to spurt his seed into your warm heat and then make you keep it inside you. The mere thought sent shivers down his back all the way down to his toes. Your pussy felt so snug, your walls clenching and squeezing enticingly around his hard shaft, that he just about lost it right there. 

“Fuck fuck fuck.” His nostrils flared when the familiar white hot pleasure crashed over him, momentarily blinding him. 

Seokjin thankfully had the presence of mind to pull out, ropes of white spilling onto your stomach and staining the wrinkled sheets below. He panted heavily, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath and stabilize his pounding heart.

A huff of laughter escaped his parted lips when he noticed you run your digits across your toned tummy, “Don’t look so disappointed. You know we can’t.” 

You sat up, back now resting against the wooden headboard, a small pout sitting on your lips. “Did you really think I would let you stick it up me without protection?”

“So, you mean…we were safe?”

With a roll of your eyes, you nodded your confirmation, “I get the contraception shot every couple of months… It’s in my contract, anyway. No one wants to deal with a pregnant idol. We have to be a lot more careful about these things… If we have to count on the guy to pull out at the right time, then we should say goodbye to our careers.”

An initial wave of relief put him at ease, his shoulders drooping as an imaginary weight was lifted off of him. Still… There was a niggling feeling in the back of his mind that he couldn’t quite brush aside. He shook his head, instead focusing on cleaning you up and getting ready to head back to the dorm. 

Seokjin watched you tie your tousled hair up with an elastic, his eyes tracing the graceful slope of your nape. Something akin to possessiveness warmed his chest as his sight fell upon the red marks he had suckled down your neck and across your collarbones. 

A thought suddenly occurred to him.

“Did you really miss me?” he asked before he could stop himself. 

In the still of the night, his voice rang out loud and clear. Startled, your fingers hovered in mid-air, three blouse buttons still undone. Even to his own ears, the question reeked with the need for validation and affection. He hated that his feelings were so transparent, so obvious, especially when he didn’t know where he stood with you. 

You turned to face him, cheeks flushed a dusty pink and makeup slightly blotchy. “As much as you missed me.”

He was at a loss for words once more, his mind drawing a blank. What did that even mean? This wasn’t a KBS drama; he could make do without the vague, mysterious answers. Seriously, why were women so difficult to understand? The litany of questions he kept to himself kept him occupied as you both got dressed silently. 

What a waste of a hotel suite, he mused, shutting the door behind him after having watched you leave fifteen minutes prior. There was never time to admire the luxurious backdrop, not when every second spent together could be detrimental to your careers. He had watched enough movies and daytime dramas to know that relationships weren’t supposed to be this way. But since it was you, he was willing to take what he could get.

.

Seokjin found it hard to function the next day. And the day after that. It was becoming increasingly difficult to carry out his job properly when his every thought was plagued by you. His thumb hovered over your name in his contact list the more he let himself be consumed by old memories. He kept spacing out during interviews, and it was only when Namjoon discreetly pinched his side that he was brought back to reality. 

Fans started to notice his strange behavior. They were worried that he was sick and overworked by his company, but the reality was far from that. What would they think if they knew he was actually thinking about filling you up with cum? The thought crossed his mind at the most inconvenient times, more than he was willing to admit. He didn’t blame his fans for thinking he was ill; Seokjin himself felt feverish, his skin hot and clammy. 

For the first time, he felt all semblance of control slip through his fingers. It was as if he had been yanked backwards in time, forced to experience puberty all over again against his will. His body had become a slave to his desires and he was helpless to stop the onslaught of salacious thoughts from eating away at his sanity. 

Even though he knew it wouldn’t help him in any way, he replayed the night in his head whenever he had a spare moment to himself, his tight pants revealing how worked up he got over the memory of you climaxing to the thought of him getting you pregnant.  

At the time, he had thought it to be your kink, but the more he let himself fantasize, the more it dawned on him that the idea equally thrilled him even if it clashed with his moral code. Getting a girl knocked up had always been the one line he had never been willing to cross. Even now, his mind reeled at the thought of him jeopardizing his group’s career because of his carelessness. But knowing that you were actually using contraception gave him the safety net he needed and, for once, he let himself entertain this particular fantasy. 

He didn’t know what to think of this new development or what to do with this revelation. All he knew was that he wanted to try it again, just to see if it was a fluke, a onetime thing. 

.

[nomimits7]

Dance with me | JJK

Title: Dance with me

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Rating: Mature

Genre: Yandere-ish? I honestly have no clue. Collage AU? Dance Major Reader, dance reader Jungkook

Warnings: Fainting is kind of described. A bit of cursing. Jungkook being a switch between personalities. Slight Yandere themed. My first attempt at smut, be nice. Unprotected sex, fingering. It sounds forced but its not. It starts one way, takes a turn south and ends up north… idk it’s a mess

Summary: You never told him, and probably never will, but you idolized him. He was the perfect dancer. The top dog in all categories. You wanted his approval or acknowledgement for your had work, instead you only received playful remarks and not the good kind. He constantly teased you about your dancing skills and background. This did not help your toxic addiction one bit. Instead it only worsened it.

A/N: This is trash and a bad attempt at writing. FIRST SMUT ATTEMPT so be nice... There yah go @toanimeornot​ as promised ... enjoy <3 

***

Being a dance major has its challenges. First challenge that quickly got you a reputation among your peers, was the fact that you had little to no background in the field of dancing. As weird as it sounds, you still managed to slide your way into the academy of arts.

Your second challenge came in the form of one particular senior named Jungkook. Even if he was only one year older than you, he made it his life’s mission to make your life a living hell. And of course, the bitch karma had it in for you and had to make him look like a living Greek god. This little fact and the fact that he was one of the top dancers did NOT count in your favour at all.

At first, you welcomed the challenge of proofing to everyone your worth. It made you work extra hard and the reward was always sweet. But the energy you use to drive yourself soon turned toxic. You began losing sight of yourself. You began pushing the limits of your own body. Your normal, or rather recommended 5 hours of dance practice a day, turned into 9 hours. Your recommended 6 meals a day quickly turned into just 2 forced meals. You became obsessed with the idea of proofing yourself to everyone around you. Especially Jungkook for reasons unbeknownst to you.

You never told him, and probably never will, but you idolized him. He was the perfect dancer. The top dog in all categories. You wanted his approval or acknowledgement for your had work, instead you only received playful remarks and not the good kind. He constantly teased you about your dancing skills and background. This did not help your toxic addiction one bit. Instead it only worsened it.

“Well if it isn’t the ‘wanna be’ dancer Y/N!” his voice came flying across the studio, almost making your ears bleed with the amount of confidence his voice possessed. For such angelic boyish voice, it sure as hell wasn’t your favourite thing to hear as of late.

Normally you would have a string of comebacks lined up, carefully picked out just for him. But your whole body has turned against you, and it didn’t help that you suffered from fatigue due to your abnormal and ridiculous practice schedule. You weren’t sleeping like you use to, and you recently acquired a fever of some sorts. You couldn’t even get out of bed this morning and you have been living on caffeine for the past 3 hours just to remain awake.

“Not today Jeon.” You gritted out through a clenched jaw, to tired to even turn around and face your predator head on.

“Aw, are we in a bad mood?” He asked slowly walking towards you. Even though his voice was dripping with sarcasm, his eyes slowly took in your form, immediately noticing the weakness that seem to drip off you. His eyes quickly went from ‘playful predator stalking its toy/meal’ to concern. He could see the dark circles under your eyes which you had carefully hidden with foundation. He saw the slow steps your feet took. He saw the way your body was hunched over, clearly warn out. But what made his blood run cold was the lack of colour to your skin. Your beautifully tanned skin he always sneaked glances at before you started wearing long sleeves, now took on a porcelain white.

Even though he was concerned he knew better than to ask you about it. He loved seeing you mad, but only at his teasing and not at him directly. That fire in your eyes he loved dearly and that only he could light wasn’t present, so he decided to try and relight your spirit with the only way he knew. Teasing.

“Jungkook please. I’m not in the mood for you today.” You said placing your practice bag down. As you did so, your legs gave out momentarily. Jungkook quickly moved to catch you and before you knew it you were safely in his arms as his doe eyes stared down at you. Those same eyes you adored from afar, held a message you couldn’t comprehend.

His eyes went wide as he looked at you from a closer perspective. Your one glass blue eyes were truly lifeless, your skin, your beautiful skin nearly grey from lack of nutrients. Before you could see his facial expression, your instructor came into the studio. You quickly pushed Jungkook’s chest, desperately trying to get out of his supporting hands and away from his burning skin, and surprisingly, he backed off.

You quickly took of your jacket and tied your hair. You could feel his eyes on you, yet you chose to ignore it. Rather you tried to ignore it, until you turned around and was meet with his doe-like eyes filled with concern, which was a first for Jungkook. You were just about to say something, like a big old ‘What’ when your instructors voice drew your attention away from Jungkook and towards the centre of the studio.

Not to long after, you lost yourself in the world of dancing. Your body moving on pure instinct as you followed the moves the instructor gave. The choreography was supposedly next level shit, yet you quickly fell into step with the instructor, making it seem effortless. Everyone noticed the way you moved. The way you could do moves they couldn’t. How you, the one with no dancing background, could do something they couldn’t. Of course, Jungkook was part of the few that could keep up, yet his eyes were solely on you. Naturally he followed along with he moves even more easily that you, but he to couldn’t take his eyes off you. Not because you moved like a pro, but he watched your body for any sign of danger, you know, just in case. The fact that you moved so fluently was an added bonus, a bonus he surely wouldn’t forget.

You were a good 2 hours into practice when your body decided it had enough. Everything around you became blurry as your world began to spin at full speed. Your body swaying as your consciousness slowly slipped from your grasp and your energy left your limbs. Black spots formed in your vision as you heard someone call out your name, was that concern in their voice? The music stopped abruptly just as you began falling, falling, failing toward the ground.

Jungkook, who has been watching you like a hawk, saw the exact moment your body gave up. In second he had called out your name as he nearly printed towards you to catch you before you hit the ground. He swiftly gripped your waist just before you could hit the hard and waiting dance floor. He quickly lifted you of your feet, bridal style, and took you to an isolated part of the studio, close to his bag. Slowly and carefully, as if you were indeed a fragile porcelain doll, he laid you down with your head resting on his bag.

You looked as soft as ever lying there before him. He felt the sudden need to protect you at all costs, even if it meant from yourself. Hoseok, a.k.a. your instructor and a very good friend of Jungkook, quickly made his way over to you. Carefully, he double checked your pulse while Jungkook made work of taking your temperature.  

“Hoseok, can we look at the log times? I think she might have gone to far.” Hoseok nodded as he went to fetch the requested documents and dismissing the rest of the student to an early lunch. Jungkook quickly took out his towel and water bottle, dampening the cloth and placing it on your forehead in an effort to break your fever.

After making sure you were indeed okay, he started searching for anything of nutrient value. You needed to get food into your body. Finding an energy bar along with one of those energy booster thingies people who gym uses, not that he uses them often, he settled besides you.  

Hoseok came back soon after. His face was serious as he handed the papers to Jungkook. Jungkook took the papers from him and began scanning through them. His face soon took on the exact same seriousness as Hoseok.

“She practiced up to 9 hours a day. 9-fucking-hours-a-day. I know that it sounds fantastic and all, but the human body isn’t built to handle so much consecutive practise daily. She took no breaks in those extra 3 hours of practise. I want to see her food logbook as soon as possible.” Hoseok said. His voice firm yet filled with concern.

“Yes sir. I’ll have a look in her bag just now.” Jungkook said, giving Hoseok a small salute. Hoseok nodded and left after making sure Jungkook knew what to do, and if he was okay with taking care of you until you came to.  

After Hoseok left, Jungkook made quick work of finding you logbook. Even if he knew he shouldn’t, he couldn’t help but sneak a peek at the contents of the cursed book. What he found nearly made him faint as well. For the entire week, you managed to fill one and a half pages worth of writing, not sentences but short lists of food you have consumed. You even had a few days missing and that concerned him the most.

You needed to regain consciousness as soon as possible. He slowly took the energy sachet thingie and emptied it into your mouth. He then proceeded to dab your face with the damp towel. He gently repeated this process until you started to stir.  

Your eyes slowly fluttered open. The first thing you noticed was the lack of music playing. Which was odd considering you were still in the studio. The second thing you noticed was the doe eyed boy sitting next to you, dabbing your face with something cool. Your first instinct was to sit up but a firm hand on your shoulder stopped you as soon as Jungkook noticed your intend.

“There is no way in hell you’re going anywhere before we haven’t clarified a few things. Here, eat up.” Jungkook said shoving the energy bar into your hands. His demanding tone something you weren’t quiet used to, but you sure wouldn’t mind hearing it more. You where just about to protest when the door opened and Hoseok came into view.

“Y/N? Hey, you with us?” Hoseok asked as he made his way over to where you were till lying. You simply groaned in response, somehow knowing what was coming. Hoseok sat down next to Jungkook as both their faces were unreadable. The two males patiently waited for you to finish your energy bar. Once you were done, their faces changed to disappointment. You shrunk back into yourself as their gazes grew in intensity as the seconds ticked by. This was the exact opposite of what you were so desperately trying to achieve.  

“Y/N” Hoseok sighed. “Why do you train so hard? You of all people should know that the human body has limits. Yours especially because you have a limited background on dancing.”

“The better question would be why your food log is so empty. I hope you just forgot to enter your meals.” Jungkook asked. His voice was laced with a little bit more venom than usual. It made you flinch slightly as you felt Hoseok’s disapproving eyes on you. Yet, all you could do was stare at the ground. How do you explain why you did it? They’ll never understand, how could they? They had it easy from the start.

A sigh left Hoseok’s mouth as he stood up. “You’re sitting the rest of the practice out. I also want a weekly report on your food intake. Oh, and I forbid you from practicing longer than 6 hours a day. Jungkook will monitor you. I do believe the both of you stay in the same apartment building?” Hoseok asked as he looked down on you.

You could only shake your head in confirmation as the weight of his words sank in. This was bad. How are you going to prove yourself with less time to practice? You needed those hours. Hoseok returned to the front of the class as the rest of the students re-entered the studio. Tears slowly made their way down your cheeks as you felt like the world biggest failure.

“Hey, don’t be upset with him, he cares for you. We both do actually, we only want to help you. We both see what you’re doing to yourself and its not healthy Y/N. You’re a good dancer, I don’t know if you noticed but your one of the best female dancers here! No one else could keep up and that says a lot. Come sit in front of the class and watch. I’ll help you later to practice. How does that sound?” Jungkook said.

You kind of forgot he was there. But you were more surprised at what he said to you. His words were filled with sincerity and for some reason it made you happy. What caught you off guard was the little confession that he cares about you, and the fact that he’s willing to help you practise.

So that’s how you found yourself in front of the class, eyes big and mouth slightly open. They have been dancing for about 30 minutes and with your luck, Jungkook was right in front of you. It all started out simple and somewhat normal, but Jungkook soon noticed your eyes not leaving his form and boy, did he take advantage of that. His body moved with purpose as he hit every trust with such power it made you scared for his limbs. His movements were sin reincarnated, his facial expressions even more so. But his little tongue licks he occasionally did and the fact that his eyes held you captive was the cherry on the cupcake.

You knew he was doing this on purpose. The smirk that grazed his lips as he made eye contact was a clear indication that he knew what he was doing. Hopefully he couldn’t see what he actually did to you. Your body has immediately reacted to his. As tired as you are, you where just as horny.

Let’s face it, you obviously had a crush on the one person in the studio who always gave you beef about your skills. The one person who always made sure to let you know he’s watching your every move. You’re now more convinced than ever that he in fact didn’t watch you for mistakes, but he watched you for, well you.

Jungkook’s a smart boy, he knew what he was doing and clearly, he knows what he’s doing know. He wants you to see him, and he’s enjoying every second of this.

Practise ended not to long after and Jungkook made quick work of packing his bags to help you stand, taking your bag in the process. To your surprise no comment was made on what had just happened in that practise room only moments ago, but the smirk was ever present.

“You know, you don’t have to take care of me. I can do that on my own. Besides, Hoseok isn’t watching anymore so you can stop pretending.” You said as you slowly made your way out of the building and headed towards your apartment building.

“Pretending? Wait you think I’m pretending?” Jungkook said as he suddenly stopped making you lose your balance for a few seconds. Of course, he was right there next to you to catch you.

“Whoa, easy tiger. I’m not pretending Y/N. Yes, I might have acted like a jerk, but I only did that because I witnessed first-hand what you do with criticism. It pushed you to become better, but clearly I went to far.” Jungkook said as he looked down. “Besides, I hate competition and guess who’s my biggest rival at the moment” He said as his eyes met yours.

“No, no. Don’t feel ashamed Jungkook. You didn’t push me to neglect myself… wait, what?” You said as his word caught up to you. He saw you as competition. You? The one with no dance background whatsoever?

Before you could properly respond, Jungkook grabbed your hand and pulled you towards your apartment building. And just as sudden as he grabbed you, his whole demeanour changed. Right in front of your eyes the doe-eyed boy changed into the dance major you saw that one faithful day. The exact day you decided to enrol into the dance academy.

His eyes were calculating and confident, they held a certain message you didn’t quiet catch. His body radiated with dominance as his hand tightened around yours. Before long, you reached your apartment building. To say you were slightly scared would be a lie, you were terrified. This is not the same boy you saw day in and day out, laughing and being all shy around girls, well all girls except you. This person was someone you have only seen once. And that scared you. Deep down you knew that this boy, rather man, in front of you were unpredictable. That much you could tell purely by the way he switched between personalities.

Perhaps you should be clearer on that statement. Jungkook had three personalities you knew of. The cute, shy, doe-eyed boy every girl wished to have. The confident dance major that knew exactly what movements to emphasize to make even men swoon over him. And lastly the overconfident senior with a way to big ego for his own good. The last one being the most prominent personality you saw.

But this, this was something different. Like a sick mix of all three of his personalities. Jungkook’s hand tugging on your wrist pulled you back to reality as you soon realized you’ve made it to your apartment door. With hesitant fingers you unlock your door to let the two of you in.

“Why don’t you go take a shower or a long bath and I’ll order us some food.” Jungkook said as he placed your bag next to your door.

“That won’t be necessary Jeon. Besides, don’t you also want to shower and relax rather than looking after me were I can clearly do it by myself.” You said as you made to push him towards your door, but the look he was giving you made you stop dead in your track.

“Y/N, my apartment is literally right across from yours. Of course, I’m going to take a shower, but I’m going to make sure you aren’t going to pull that ‘No-eating’ crap again. So, you have two options here. Either you take a shower here and relax and I come to you, or you come over as soon as you are done. BUT we are going to eat together. Got it?” Jungkook said, punctuating his last two words with two steps towards you.

With a simple nod of your head he left, leaving you alone to let his words sink in.

One shower and three pep-talks later, you found yourself outside his apartment door. When you came out of the bathroom after a well needed 30-minute shower you found, to your surprise that Jungkook hasn’t returned yet. So, you decided to go over to his apartment, bonus being you won’t be stuck with any dirty dishes.

Deciding against knocking you silently entered his apartment. His layout was similar to your apartment, but his taste was the polar opposite of yours. Jungkook’s apartment was darker themed. Come to think about it, his apartment was the polar opposite of him, if you were honest. His furniture was black his carpets dark brown. Everything just looked so expensive it left you feeling cheap just standing there.

“Well, looks who finally decided to be obedient for a change. The food will be here shortly, please make yourself at home.” Jungkook said as he dried his hair. His dripping wet hair. How soft would they be? Maybe he likes it when someone pulls- wait what?

Startled by your own thoughts you took a seat on the farthest end of one of his couches. It was silent for a while as Jungkook observed you. He couldn’t help but smile at the thought of you in his arms. He knew you saw him as a soft doe-eyed boy and perhaps as a jerk to, but he was determined to change your mind. He became obsessed with the girl who had a point to prove. He can’t really say there was a specific time or place his obsession became toxic he just woke up one day and yearned for your touch. He was consumed by the idea of your skin on his.

He knew he was screwed when you did in fact touch him one day. It wasn’t a friendly touch, more of a not-so-friendly shove with your shoulder as you passed him, but it was more than enough to encourage his need to grow. So, from there on he did anything he could to provoke a touch out of you.

But today things changed. You fell, not for him but you fell, and he was the one to catch you.

It made his heart swell with pride and greed as he held you close to his body. The icing on the cake was when Hoseok requested that he take care of you, and he wasn’t going to let this opportunity go by. He’s been waiting far to long to claim you to screw this up. He was aware his obsession over you was toxic, but no one needs to know that.  

Jungkook was always the master of masks. He always played the innocent boy when it came to upholding his image. The only time he would let that mask slip was during his dancing. He knew exactly what he was doing after all. He didn’t mean to become obsessed with you. He was supposed to be the soft boy everyone knew.

Looking over to you, he decided to approach this as ‘normal’ as possible. Tonight, he’ll make you his, no matter what.

“I don’t know what type of movies you’re into, but I do have some pretty good horror films. I thought we might watch a movie or two to help us relax. Besides we don’t have practise tomorrow so we can stay up a bit later than normal.” Jungkook said as he went over to his small movie collection.

“Oh, I haven’t watched a horror film in so long. But I do warn you, I don’t get scared easily. These days horror movies are so bad they make me laugh.” You said as n giggle escaped you. Maybe this is exactly what you need.

Soon after Jungkook chose a film you haven’t seen, or heard of before, the food arrived. Jungkook insisted on eating before the movie began, claiming you’ll thank him later. To your surprise you finished all your food, sweat and sour chicken with noodles and dumplings, fried veggies and you even had a bite or two from Jungkook’s hotpot and fried rice. Jungkook went all out in buying your favourite foods, which kind off surprised you considering you never ate together. Must have been a coincidence.

Settling on the couch, you gratefully except the coffee Jungkook has made you. With one last glance, Jungkook smiles and hit play on the screen.

At first the movie isn’t that bad. One or two jump scares here and there, a lot of screaming and some blood. You’re a good 20 minutes into the movie when the real horror began. The movie took a complete 180-degree turn, demons and paranormal activity can’t even compare to what you were seeing. The movie was shot in a home video style, and suddenly the screams didn’t seem so fake.

“J-Jungkook, can I plea- AAHH” You were just about to ask to go home when another jump scare popped out of nowhere. Without thinking you grabbed Jungkook’s arm for some sort of stability. Jungkook immediately tensed at the sudden contact making you realize the mistake you just made.  

Just when you wanted to let go, Jungkook grabbed both your arms, spun you around and pinned you to the couch. Hovering above you, he stared straight into your eyes as one of his hands made its way up to your throat, squeezing slightly.  

“You know, I would rather prefer to hear you scream like that when you’re underneath me, and when it’s me making you scream.” He said in a very serious tone. Slowly he started closing the gap between your lips until his were barely touching yours. Again, without thinking you leaned into the kiss, deepening it.

Smiling, Jungkook trailed kissed along your jaw toward your ear.  

“I’m going to fucking ruin you.” He whispered as he bit your ear, earning a desperate whine from you. You had no idea what was happening, all you knew was that you didn’t want this to stop. Even if Jungkook wasn’t the same shy boy you though he was, you somehow felt a sense of security in his arms. Your whining turned desperate as Jungkook continued to assault your ear with his teeth.

Smirking, Jungkook started trailing kisses down your neck. Increasing the pressure of his lips, he soon found the spot that had you squirming and making all kinds of noises as he began to harshly attack your neck, repeatedly. He became desperate to leave his mark all over you, to finally claim you as his.  

“J-Jungkook, what are you doing? Don’t leave- Aahh- Don’t leave m-marks” You said as your squirming increased with every new attack. These words made Jungkook stop. Slowly lifting his head, he once again pinned you with his eyes. The same doe-eyes that now held a possessiveness that had your heartrate slightly increasing.

“I’m sorry darling, but you have no say in what I can and cannot do. Tonight, I’m taking what’s mine” crashing his lips to yours, his hands started rooming your body. Without much hesitation, Jungkook took the seam of your shirt and started pulling it up and over your head. Disposing the piece of clothing as if it was trash, Jungkook was pleased to find your chest bare before him.

“Ooh, naughty girl. Walking around without so much as a bra on, and that to in another man’s home. It’s like you wanted this to happen. No worries baby, I’ll make it happen.” He said taking one of your breasts into his mouth. Sucking and biting your nipple, he couldn’t help but groan at the obscure noises you were making. He continued his ministrations, alternating between each breast, until both were dripping with his saliva and your nipples were standing erected.

A pressure you haven’t felt in a very long time started building in your lower abdomen. It was a somewhat foreign feeling, the way it increased like a speeding bullet, yet still not fast enough. Being the pure flower you were, you only ever knew the feeling by the works of your own hands. This time the feeling was stronger, faster and to a certain extend even painful.

Moving back up to your neck, Jungkook made sure to press his prominent bulge to your pelvis, making you groan as the feeling increased. Once again, he attacked your neck, biting and sucking at the same time until your one side was almost completely covered in red marks.

“Take these off, now” he growled as he bunched up your shorts. Jungkook sat up as he took his own shirt of, watching you as you sat still, frozen in place.

“Darling, don’t make me repeat myself.” He said as his gaze landed on your bare chest.

“I- I haven’t d-done this before” you shakily whispered, shrinking in on yourself as his face fell slightly. Realization dawned onto his face as his eyes found yours. The same doe-eyed boy from before sat across from you as his eyes lit up slightly.

“You haven’t been touched by a man? Intimately, I mean?” he asked. At your confirmation, Jungkook slowly crept towards you. Once again, he was pinning you to the couch, a sly smile present on his face as he gazed down at you.

“Good girl. I will make sure I’m your first and last. No other man is worthy of you, baby. I’ll try to be gentle, but I can guarantee you, this won’t be our last round tonight.” Jungkook said as his head lowered back to your neck.

Nodding, you felt his hands descending down your body towards your front. Painfully slow he pulled your pants down your legs, leaving it forgotten somewhere on the floor. As light as a feather his hands trailed back up your legs, stopping at your knees.

“Let’s claim what’s mine, shall we?” Jungkook said as he parted your legs.

“I want to hear every single sound baby? You won’t keep quiet, I want everyone to know that your mine” He said as he lowered his head to your clothed pelvis. Slowly he trailed kisses along the seems of your panties, until finally kissing right on top of your clit.

You couldn’t stop the moan that escaped your mouth as the pressure in your abdomen increased again. Jungkook continued to kiss you gently over your panties until you couldn’t take it anymore.

“Jeon, please. I n-need more” You said as your hands fisted his hair. This gentleness he was showing you was soon forgotten as Jungkook sat up and, literally ripped your panties of off your body. before you could even think of protesting his mouth was back on your mound. This time there were no kisses, he flat out went straight to sucking and nibbling on your sensitive bud.

The most erotic feeling entered your limbs at this new feeling Jungkook has caused. Your body wasn’t yours to control anymore as your legs moved on their own at every single nip or suck, he would administer. You could get addicted to this feeling. Another set of moans left your throat as he added his tongue to the mix.

Yes, addicted you could get.

Without much warning, Jungkook inserted a finger into you. The feeling was foreign and sudden, leading you to gasp as he moved it without warning. Smiling Jungkook came back up to your lips. Drowning you in his lips as he slowly added a second digit. The stretch burned as he pumped his fingers in and out of you, smirking at the noises you were making.

Soon the burn was replaced with the same pressure from earlier, building at a steady pace until your walls started contracting around Jungkook’s fingers.

“Let’s see that pretty face as you come undone sweetheart” he said as he increased the pace at which his fingers were going. Not long after that your vision went white as the pressure finally exploded within you. You felt like you were floating as pure bliss entered your system.

“There’s the beautiful dancer that intoxicated me” Jungkook said with triumph. Adding a third finger to your sensitive body had reality crashing down around you.

“P-please, n-no more.” You whined. The all to familiar pressure resurfacing as Jungkook ignored your request.

“I don’t think so. I want to see that face again when you come undone when I’m inside you” Jungkook said as he removed his fingers. Pulling down his sweatpants he slowly stroked himself as he looked at you. With big eyes you watched his hand work up and down his shaft.

“This is going to hurt love, but I know you can take it” He said as he aligned himself with your entrance. Without waiting for a response, he pushed himself into you. Successfully stretching you around him as he bottoms out. The feeling of being full consumes you as Jungkook waits for you to open your eyes.

“Look at me darling, tell me you don’t want this. Stop me from going further, once I start there’s no turning back. You’ll be mine and mine alone. Y/N, please tell me to stop” Jungkook pleaded as he held onto the last bit of his resolve he had.

“Make me yours” This was all he needed to hear out of your mouth to begin thrusting. He didn’t start slow, he wasn’t gentle, but he was possessive.

With each thrust he gave his grip on you tightened. His eyes never left yours as tears streamed down your face. He made no move to wipe them away, he wanted to see you cry.

Jungkook soon realized his thrusting wasn’t making you cry as he longed for. Picking up his pace he pushed your legs up to your chest, going even deep than before. This seem to do the trick, your moans turned into screams as his pace became brutal.

“That’s it baby, scream for me. Let everyone know who owns you. You’re mine now” Jungkook said. His one hand moving down towards your clit and the other finding its way to your throat. The added stimulation on your clit and slight pressure around your neck was enough to send you over the edge once more.

“J-Jungkook!” this was all word that you managed to say as your orgasm hit you. This one being stronger than the previous one. Soon after your walls started contracting around him, Jungkook’s own walls broke. With a growl of your name he painted your walls in white as his thrusts slowed down.

“You’re mine now Y/N, Mine” Jungkook whispered as he came down from his high.

After Jungkook helped you clean up, the end credits off the movie came into view. A light chuckle escaped you as you realized that you missed the last half of the movie.

“Seems like I’ll have to watch the movie another time” You said as you made ready to leave, only to be stopped as a hand pulled you back into a hard chest.

“Hang on, I’m not done with you yet. Besides, I have a lot of other movies I would like to show you Baby” Jungkook said as his hands dipped underneath your shirt. Turning in his arms, his hands slipped down to your waist. Slowly he started swaying you side-to-side.

“Before we do that” Jungkook said as he brought his lips closer.

“Dance with me, Y/N” He whispered before kissing you.

***

AGAIN THIS IS UNEDITED! I hope you enjoyed it though.... 

[jeonggukingdom]

favorite writers & stories

So, since I was away during the “writer’s day appreciation post” thing, I didn’t have the possibility of tagging some of my favorites on this platform and I really wanted to participate in the event.  What I’m doing today is listing some of my all time favorite writers and their stories just to share with you guys the awesomeness I witnessed and to sort of make amends for the writer’s day :)

⚜ A ticket to the sun - @gukvory | angst

Overpopulation of the planet leads to the unethical method of culling thousands of people once every month through a customary enlistment ballot. In such a world where your future is determined by your name on a piece of paper, life becomes much easier when you choose to be desensitised of emotions such as love and affection. But such an ideal flips completely upside down when Y/N punches a kid called Min Yoongi in the face.

This story. Boy, one of my favorite of all times I cannot even express how much I love it. If it were a book, I’d buy every copy out there and cherish it with all my heart. That’s how good this is.

⚜ Sillage - @deerguk  | angst, soulmate!AU

siːˈjɑːʒ/ noun

the scent that lingers in the air, the trail left in the water, the impression made in space after something or somebody has been and gone.

I know Fawn is not a reality anymore BUT this was one of the first fan fictions I read on this platform and I was sold. This is the reason why I started writing again when I had stopped years ago, ok. It’s the story that brought me back to my roots and passion and I will never stop putting it out there whenever my favorites are mentioned. 

  ⚜  Equilibrium - @tayegi | angst, smut, polyamory relationship

Jikook polyamory loosely based on Woody Allen’s Vicky Cristina Barcelona.

What I absolutely love about this story is not the smut, the entrancing sex and the titillating thoughts it evokes  - even though they are a wonderful addition - but the way the characters are absolutely human and flawed and even hateable at times. This story seems so real it baffles me. She doesn’t try to make you love each character but she describes them for what they are and that is the most beautiful thing in the world because we all need characters that are human, that can and will make stupid mistakes like we all do. I just love it.

⚜ Transference - @jeonjagiya | smut, angst

During a routine visit to the local bakery, you stumble upon an intriguing business card and figure, what the hell. The business arrangement becomes...mutually beneficial.

I love everything Iris ever wrote and ever will write, ok. But let me tell you: it’s not even just a smut story. Oh no. Iris blends so many more things into it can’t just be described as a smut story. Of course, there are sexual activities in it, of course, there is a lot of sexual tension going on, of course, you’ll need a gallon of water after reading each chapter B U T  there is so much more to the plot! And it’s written so beautifully I just cannot believe this is a fan fiction and not something published and sold in the whole world. Damn, I love this story.

⚜ Aquiver - @floralseokjin | smut

Yoongi can’t remember the last time he was able to successfully bring himself to the point of orgasm, then Namjoon gives him a business card advertising ‘Healing Hands’, and that’s where he meets you; pretty and innocent looking, who gets paid to provide hand jobs for a living…

I read this story when a lot of chapters were already out and I WAS ON THE VERGE OF SCREAMING THE ENTIRE TIME. This story got me hooked and left me speechless and let me tell you, a lot of talent is required to make look beautiful even a handjob given inside a shop, ok. Jordan writes so beautifully I just can’t. She makes long chapter feel like a drabble and it’s so utterly amazing.

⚜  Paper Dolls - @jheartseok | smut, slight angst

When the nation’s little sister, IU, gets into a huge scandal, your agency seizes the opportunity to thrust you into that now vacant spotlight. Your self-composed song Paper Doll becomes an overnight sensation, and soon people are itching to find out who was the one who broke your heart. All hell breaks loose once netizens discover that you used to date popular idol, Jeon Jungkook. Little do they know that it wasn’t him who left the relationship unscathed –  it was you.

Look, this is written by a goddess, period. I loved every single thing about this and most of all the fact that it could pretty much be a real story too. The realism is so on point it’s mesmerizing and I suffered so much reading this - for all the right reasons - I just couldn’t not mention it.

⚜ A cog in the machine - @ricepot-jisung | angst, smut, robot!AU

a cog in the machine:  a small or insignificant member of a larger organization or system

Rams and robot!Jimin. Do  I even need to elaborate that further? I just love everything about this. The peremisis got me hooked, the first chapter got me hooked, just... everything. I love it so much and Rams’ angst is known for ruining people’s lives and I am  a H U G E sucker for angst so... how could I not mention this masterpiece?

⚜  Mr. Min - @ellieljade | smut, angst

Your CEO caught your attention the first day you started your new job and it seems the attraction is mutual.  Too bad he’s only interested in a relationship that benefits him.

If you never heard of this story before you were probably living under a rock. No, I’m kidding but at the same time, I am not. This story is so famous and rightfully so I almost slapped myself when it was recommended to me and a lot of chapters were already out. Like... where was I when this was happening? I read pretty much 3/4 of it in one take. I KNOW. It’s that addicting and it made me go to sleep long past midnight because I just had to finish the chapter. I just love it. It made my heart flutter, it made me cry, it made me scream and it also almost made me throw my phone out of the window. Perfect.

⚜ Miss Dial - @versigny & @cyphertrip | smut

[11:31] You: okay so i’m texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting yoongi and telling him how badly i want his cock tonight. Arent you proud?

[11:32] unknown number: this is yoongi, hi

Just. Just read this ok. I don’t even have words to discribe how much I love this and how much water I had to consume while reading it. This is golden and if you never read a single word of this masterpiece than... go read it now!  (No but really, this is one of my top 5 stories out there ok.)

⚜  Patronage - @chimdeer | A N G S T

You are an aspiring artist; you paint, you write music, you recreate life with every measly tool you have. it is a life filled with passion, but passion does not fill your needs. imagine your surprise then, when a man younger than you–but surely of a higher status—approaches you and offers his patronage.

This fic was born by a joke, a way to make me suffer and look what it became: utter perfection. Could this really not be mentioned in here when it was created on exactly what I love the most? And it’s so angsty I just cannot cope with it sometimes. But oh, is it wonderful to read.  This ff has a special place in my heart just like its writer does so, go read it.

Ok, these are the ff I feel closest to, the ones I always look up to when I think about writing my own stories and these are also my favroite writers in here and I’m sure I’m missing many in this post but these are genuinly the first that came to mind on the spot. Thank you for reading this and most of all a big T H A N K   Y O U  to the authors of such beautiful stories. I love you all ♥

[kpopfanficsforthesoul]

Divine- Nana (Im Jinah) After School- Part One

- PART ONE - PART TWO - 

Plot: You’ll never understand how people can turn on their friends so easily. Some will do anything for popularity, like giving up all their kindness, loyalty, and friends… you just never expected Nana to.

Pairing: Nana x Reader

Genre: Resolved Angst, High School! Au

Author’s note: I was really inspired by SNSD’s Divine MV. You know, the Japanese ver. where the girl gets betrayed by a trusted friend? It’s kind of like that, except without the drama club and the teacher affair. Enjoy!

……..

They’re way too fragile aren’t they, These feelings that sway ever so lightly, I’m looking for the answer that disappears at dawn.

……….

“Alright, who’s next?” You asked from your table, purple pen in hand. You barely glanced at the person as they slid their book in front of you. You flipped to the inside cover and began to write a short message. Halfway through your signature, you were interrupted by the hand placed next to yours. It was bedazzled with red nail polish and graced with several flashy rings.

“Hello old friend.” The girl said. You looked up and nearly fainted at that familiar red lipped smile.

“Nana?” You asked, wide eyed. All the moisture escaped from your throat. “Is that really you?”

The girl removed her Prada sunglasses. You got lost in those familiar bright shining eyes. You had missed the comfort of their gaze. “It feels as if it’s been forever.” She said.

You nodded before quietly responding. “I didn’t know you were in this town…”

“We’re on tour right now.” she told you. “Wanna meet for coffee after you’re done signing autographs?”

You stared at your table. “Sure.” you muttered. She gave you a hopeful gaze before taking her book and walking away from your table. You couldn’t help but look at her back as she did so. Even though different garments on her affected her appearance, you know the Nana that you once knew was still underneath. You recalled upon your memories of her, the carefree innocence of newfound friendship. You wished for everything to be as it once was.

Before…

…………..

This starlight that becomes my guide Hey, I want you to tell me where I should go.

No matter how far away, even if I’ll be crushed I’m waiting for God’s will, this is destiny.

���…………

“Kimchi Jiggae? Again?” Your best friend scowled as she linked arms with you. You took notice of her sweet scent wafting towards her as she rushed up to you.

“Well, the school gives so much money to the athletics teams that we end up eating the same thing every day.” You told her. “New perfume?”

She nodded with a small smile. “When my mom becomes the principal of the school, we’ll eat like kings.”

“Well until that day comes, my dear, we’re stuck eating this slop.” You said with a scowl as another student walked by with a bowl of today’s school lunch.

A couple years ago, you were a new student at this school. Not shockingly to you, you were practically invisible to everyone. Well, except the queen bees of the school who targeted people like you everyday. So you remained in the shadows, in the back of the classes, thinking you were alone. Until you met a beautiful girl in that very place. Jinah wasn’t an outcast, just a loner. You never understood why, because she was so pretty you thought she was a doll when you first met her. However, you quickly formed a bond, and soon became each other’s only friends.

You both sat down at your designated table in the back of the cafeteria, Jinah lending you one of her earbuds as you both picked through your lunches. It was quiet silences like this that you appreciated most, where you could just sit close to her and enjoy her company. Jinah was pretty much the first person to show you kindness and friendship in your life.

“You wanna come over to my house to study tonight?” She asked, pausing the music.

You set down your unused spoon and nodded. You both used “studying” as a code word to allow your parents to let you hang out so much. Neither of you cared about academics so much. You were more into writing and drawing on your own time, and she was more concerned with dancing and singing. Your mutual love of creativity is really what made you two such good friends.

…………….

So to speak, this small me is powerless against the raging waves that give their loud roars, but the sea will surely part and make a path for me.

……………..

Jinah’s long chestnut colored hair flew behind her as she thrusted into action with her routine. Moving her body with strategic and graceful bends of the arms and pairing them perfectly with her footsteps, all in perfect tune with the rhythm.

You nodded your head to the music from your place on the bed as you watched her. You couldn’t help but tap your feet. The song she arranged was a catchy tune.

You clapped your hands as she finished. “You’ve really improved since you started putting this together!”

“Really?” She asked. You never understood why she was so surprised to receive compliments. “Do you think it’s good enough for my audition?”

You rolled your eyes. “Unni, you’ve prepared for this your whole life. If Pledis doesn’t see your talent, they must be sight impaired.”

She smiled. “Aw, thanks Y/N!” She squeezed your shoulders in a quick hug. Jinah had wrote her own song, arranged it, and choreographed it for her audition tape. All she had ever wanted to be was an be idol. And by God, she would do all she could to prove her talent.

She sat down on the bed with you, throwing the pink comforter over the both of you. She grabbed her remote, turning on the TV. You had always loved her room. The pastel aesthetic, the sweet smell of her everywhere, the white floors…

You both sat together and began watching your new favorite drama, You’re Beautiful.

Atop the ground that grew cold, I’m going to walk barefooted, And your warmth will support me. You’re always by my side. I was born alone and yet. It’s as if I was bound to meet you. You know me more than anyone else does.

Jinah took a sip from her juice box, then pointed to the character on the screen. The idol character UEE was currently at a movie premiere. “I’m gonna be like her someday. A singer, a performer, an actress… you know she’s an artist at Pledis, right?”

You nodded, then looked at the floor as soon as her attention was back to the screen. You couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if Jinah really did make it into that company. She was all you had… but if she left you…

You were about to bring it up, but as you looked over at her, your heart sank. She was smiling, looking bright eyed at the screen as the idols in the drama started performing. Her eyes lit up at the thought of herself being in the same company as Sho-ee, or whatever the actress’s name was.

You couldn’t stand being a restriction to her. After all she had given you, you thought she deserved all the happiness in the world.

“Is something wrong Y/N?” She asked you, looking concerned.

You snapped back to reality. “Nah, I’m just tired. I should get going soon.”

“Alright, but you have to finish this episode with me!” She squealed. Your heart stopped as she rested her head against your shoulder. “It won’t be the same if you leave.”

You closed your eyes in frustration. Not at her, but the way she made you feel. To finally have a friend, someone in the world to care if you died without being obligated to, was the most comforting thing in the world. And… somewhere along the way, you came to love everything about Im Jinah. Her bright eyes, her comforting smile, her determination…

But you could never tell her that. Not only would it jeopordize your friendship, but her focus in life was to become an idol. You couldn’t help  but feel as if your friendship was like a train ride, and that you were just riding along for a temporary amount of time, that you would hop off the train as soon as it started going too fast.

As Jinah sighed at the beautiful Lee Hongki, you couldn’t imagine a life without her.

We can be divine…

……………

I was supposed to be scared of nothing And yet hey, I don’t want to lose you.

……………..

“Y/N!!!” A voice cheered. You look behind your shoulder, clutching your school bag. Jinah was running up to you, a huge smile on her face, chestnut hair blowing back in the wind. She engulfed you in a hug as soon as she reached you.

“What is it, Jinah?” you giggled, putting your arms around her.

She stepped back a bit, and waved a paper in front of your face. “Pledis accepted me!”

You squealed with her. Finally, her dream had become a reality. All she had worked for was paying off. “That’s amazing! Did they say what you’ll be doing?”

She let out a deep breath before saying to you: “They want me and two other girls to join Afterschool!”

You grabbed her into a hug. She was practically crying tears of joy. Everyone walked past you guys, giving disaproving side eyes.

“Quiet down, freaks!” Minah, the school’s queen bee scowled as she walked past you.

You rolled your eyes, quickly forgetting about the snide remark. Your mind went back to your friend. So it was actually happening. Everything will be okay. Jinah will still make time for me. We’ve been through too much.

You had to tell yourself this. You HAD to keep hope. You had to trust her.

I love you Im Jinah. Don’t leave me.

…………..

Until the day comes when the light shines Through the gaps in the clouds, I won’t say goodbye.

………….

“Yep, that’s her!”

“I can’t believe she went to school with us this whole time!”

“How did we not notice how pretty she is?”

“Or how talented?”

“I should become her friend…”

The things you heard this morning when you walked into the school yard echoed through your head. This was exactly what you had feared. A huge crowd was gathered around a bulletin board by the building. After pushing your way to the front, you saw it. A poster of three girls, wearing colorful outfits and expertly applied makeup. “Three new members added to popular girl group ‘After School!’” said the title. “Raina, Lizzy, and Nana!” Your heart stopped as you realized that the flawless face in the middle belonged to your best friend. She had never even told you about a photo shoot…

“Why are they calling her Nana?” you asked yourself.

You whipped out your phone to call her. After a few rings

“Hello?”

“Jinah, everyone knows! You have to-”

You were interrupted by a loud screaming crowd. As you looked over your shoulder, you saw all of them crowding around something. Jinah stepped out of the middle of them, smiling. You watched her hang up on your call, answering everyone’s questions and giving them autographs.

So this is what she wanted. She could finally live this way. You swallowed hard at the realization.

…………..

When various paths open up to me, I’ll surely remember this wish, The journey we both walked together.

…………….

“Ready for lunch?” You asked her as she emerged from the lunch line, waving goodbye to three underclassmen who wanted to befriend her. Gosh, these people never left her alone.

“Yeah, but I was hoping we could sit with someone else today.” She said with smile.

“Who?” You asked, worriedly. Nana may have become popular with the other students these last few days, but you still remained invisible. She was still the only person in the whole school who you knew and loved.

“Well… Minah.” She responded.

“Jinah, have you lost your mind?” You shrieked. “Minah and her squad have spewed nothing but insulting comments at every innocent girl who walks within five feet of them! Are you trying to befriend her?”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s not a big deal Y/N. Her uncle works for Pledis, so I think it could be a nice relationship. I just don’t want her to put in any bad words about me. So, when she invited me to sit with her, I couldn’t say no.”

You shook your head, about to tell her all the reasons not to, but then something stopped you.

“Please… for me?” She asked you with a sincere gaze. Dang her and those comforting eyes.

“Fine.” you said sternly. Nana smiled and led you over to the shiny round table in the center of the cafeteria. She greeted the girls, then sat down in one of the seats. You were about to sit in the seat next to her, until one of the other girls put her Kate Spade right where you were about to sit.

“Sorry, but we only invited Nana to sit with us.” Minah said at the head of the table with a glare at you.

You looked over at your friend with a laugh. “Good luck keeping Jinah then…”

But she didn’t budge. She just sat there nervously. She finally looked up at you with pleading eyes.

Your smile dropped as you stared at her in shock. “Jinah… lets go…”

She shook her head. “I wanna sit with Minah…”

“You don’t sound so sure about that.” You told her.

Minah snapped her hand. “Are you really surprised?” All the girls at the table laughed with her, except Jinah, who looked nervous. “Yah, wake up, zero. Nana is an idol now. She’s got new people. So don’t be shocked when she’d rather hang out with higher class people like herself.”

You looked over at your friend. “Is this who you are now? You’re just Nana? What happened to my friend Jinah?”

“Y/N please, don’t be stupid…” she pleaded.

“No. I’m not doing this anymore.” You told her with a cold stare. “If you’re going to choose these jerks over me. The girls that used to bully us and call us names- then you’re the stupid one.”

Nana stared at the table. She swallowed, then said quietly. “Get away from this table Y/N.”

It hurt you. It hurt that you were in love with her and she was willing to give you up. For popularity. You could live with her being an idol. You could live with not seeing her as much. You could live with people bombarding her with friendly gestures. But this- no.

“Get away from my life, Nana.” you said coldly. And you left, not letting your tears spill until you reached the bathroom.

……………..

We’ll make that our proof, forever We are always one.

……………….

It had been weeks since you spoke to Jinah. Going to her house after school was now unheard of. During school hours she was with Minah’s queen bee squad and after school hours she was with her group mates from After School. You knew this from all the times you saw her on television doing interviews.

“The girls in this group are the only girls I’ve ever met to show me true friendship.” You watched her say with a smile.

After that, you’d turn off the TV and go right back to the way things used to be. Going to school to lurk in the shadows. To sit in the backs of the class. Alone. Only this time… no one was there with a comforting support.

You needed Jinah. But she didn’t need you. You loved her. But she didn’t love you.

‘Nana’ had quickly become the it girl of the school. She wore makeup, pretty clothes, and strutted through the hallways like some model on a Paris Runway. You felt like crying everytime you saw her.

In the hallway after your science class, someone caught your attention. “Yah, Y/N, you dropped your book!” You turned around to see Minah with her entourage. Nana stood next to her. All the girls had snide smirks on their faces, except for Nana. She looked like she was about to throw up.

You looked down. A book was lying on the floor.

“That’s funny, I don’t remember dropping it…” you walked towards it to get it. However, once you grabbed it, it yanked forward on a string, with you clutching onto it. You landed face first on the floor. Laughing erupted from the crowd of classmates surrounding you. Humiliated by a pathetic prank, you began to stand up.

“Now, everyone!” Minah declared, hands on hips, with an evil grin plastered on her face.

You saw a tear fall down Nana’s face, and then it hit you in the back of the head. Slime ran down your neck. You looked at the white shell at your feet. An egg.

More and more came, and just when you thought you were covered, Minah declared, “More eggs! Throw more at her!”

You stood there, staring at Jinah. She stepped forward to approach you, but two girls grabbed her arms and held her back. She swallowed, then relaxed. She gave up, and stared at the floor.

It was official. You had lost your best friend. She wasn’t going to be your support anymore. No longer would the comforting warmth of friendship radiate through your body. Never again would you cuddle up to her to watch kdramas and enjoy her company. The only time you’d see her would be on stage or in a crowd of popular girls at the mall. She had given up on you. She wasn’t going to help you. She wasn’t going to stand up for you. She was going to sit there on the side of the people throwing eggs at you.

“Next time think twice before you call our Nana stupid!” Minah sneered.

You couldn’t take anymore. You pushed through the crowd, running away as some still fired eggs at you. You burst through the school doors, not caring that you were leaving in the middle of a school day. You ran as fast as you could to your house. You never wanted to go to that building again.

…………….

Once we stand before the roaring waves What will we say we’re capable of? We’ll meet this distress With a gentle intimacy (Wow) I believe that we can be divine

……………..

You ran upstairs to your room and flopped down on your bed. Your tears washed all the egg off of your face. You looked over at your cork board with pictures on it. In the center was a picture of you and Jinah at the park together. You held the camera as she put her arm around you. Sobbing, you walked up to it and took it off the board to look at it. You remembered her. How she used to be. Her face was pretty without being overdone. She was warm and kind. She was humble and loyal.

It was then that you realized: Im Jinah was still your best friend. You still loved Im Jinah. Im Jinah was kind and warm. You knew everything about Im Jinah. But this new girl, this girl who joined in on torturing others, this girl who glued on false eyelashes and wouldn’t leave home without makeup, this girl who wore dresses and heels to school… why, you didn’t know her.

You ripped the picture down the middle and threw it away.

I don’t know Nana. You said to yourself.

How could this happen- why did you have to lose the only person you had? You felt unstable without her. You didn’t want to be alone. You wiped a tear from your cheek before breaking out into sobs.

I miss you Im Jinah. Please come back!

We can be divine.

Author’s Note: There will be a second part to this. Sorry it’s so long! This idea just suddely popped in my head. :p Anyway, hope you enjoyed!

-Marie 💗

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