#writing.kanata

[sucrows]

KANATA SHINKAI + INSECURITIES

The only thing he doesn’t ever do is scold you, and that is something you couldn’t be more grateful for.

Contains: AFAB Reader, Non-penetrative Sex, Praise, Making out, Intercrural sex, Oral sex (reader receiving), Snowballing, Vaginal fingering

Word Count: 2408

(NSFW UNDER CUT)

Sometimes, you can’t help but feel a bit bad about yourself. It’s hard not to, even though others may insist that you’re overthinking, or that you’re exaggerating- that doesn’t stop your brain from saying otherwise. After all, you’re the one who lives in your body, it only makes sense for you to be aware of your flaws. 

You try to keep it to yourself, to not be a bother, but it’s hard. Sometimes something will slip out, or you’ll do something you typically wouldn't, or avoid doing something you would normally do. Sometimes, the pressure of these thoughts and words inside your head is too much and you just can’t help letting some of them out. 

Including in front of Kanata. 

He’s typically the carefree type, but you know he is a person that considers everything said to him. He’s not stupid by any means. Sometimes the response you get is him saying something positive to counteract the negative things you say about yourself, other times it’s a simple hum and a pat on the head. The only thing he doesn’t ever do is scold you, and that is something you couldn’t be more grateful for. He lets you be honest about the way you’re feeling without repercussion. 

As thankful as you are for his influence and support, it’s not a solution to your problems. Even as you get closer and closer to him and slowly open up about the things that you dislike about yourself.  His support may be unwavering, but so are your insecurities. 

It’s a calm day and you’re both relaxing in his room. He’s still soaked from his most recent escapade into the water he oh so loves, but you convinced him to at least change into dry clothes while you both hang out on his bed. At some point, this devolved into him sitting while you lay your head on his lap. 

Unfortunately, though your mind wanders as per always. Kanata is such a kind person and today, he’s spending some of his limited free time with you.

“Hey... Kanata...” 

He hums at the sound of his name being said, continuing to pet the top of your head. 

“What do you like about me?” 

He pauses for the briefest of seconds, before continuing just as before. 

“There are many ‘things’ to ‘like’ about ‘you’.” 

He shifts his position, gently sliding your head off his lap and moving so that he faces you more directly. For a second, you prepare yourself for what you think might be your first ever lecture from Kanata but instead, he reaches out his hands to cup your face in them and smiles. 

“I like ‘these’ a lot.” 

His hands thumb at your lips, touching them as he speaks. 

“i think ‘these’ are nice too.” 

His hands reach further up your face and he ghosts his thumbs over your eyelids, making you close them until he continues. 

“I like what comes out of ‘here’.” 

He holds both sides of your face and cradles your head in his hands. Is he referring to your brain as a whole? His words are tooth-achingly sweet. You had hoped for some reassurance, but you weren’t expecting to receive such definitive answers from him. 

He hums for a second, seemingly contemplating where to go from there. After a second, his hand moves downwards. 

“I ‘like’ this ‘part’ a lot too.” 

He places his hand over your chest, directly in front of your heart. 

“It’s probably ‘my favorite’.” 

Curiosity nips at your inhibitions, and you can’t help but ask. 

“In what way do you ‘like’ me?” 

Something sparkles in his eyes when you ask that question. Excitement? Mischief? You can’t quite pin down the emotion, but it excites you nonetheless when he answers you. 

“Do you ‘want’ me to ‘show’ you?” 

You think about it for a second. You could say no and stop this now but... You know damn well where this is headed, and you’d be a fool to stop yourself from getting what you want now. 

You nod and he leans in to give you the most delicate peck on the lips possible. It’s a bit awkward to have him leaning over you like this, but it does give you the perfect opportunity to reach your arms around his back and pull him back in to properly kiss you when he pulls away after the first one. 

His eyes open in surprise, but close just as quickly as they opened while he kisses you again.  

And again. And again. And again- 

He really does actually like you, huh? 

You don’t know who parts their mouth first, but before you know it, your tongues are meeting in each other's mouths, and you can barely get a full chest of air. You’ve craved this longer than you’d care to admit at this point. He truly is such a sweet person and you can’t imagine anyone else who you’d rather be having this moment with. 

Your arms reach the hem of his shirt and pull at it. Perhaps a bit of a bold move, but if there was any time in which to take this chance, you think it’s probably right now. Thankfully, he responds in kind and begins pulling at your clothing as well. 

As layers start to come off, you both get more and more excited. It still catches you off guard though when you reach for his briefs and find that underneath them, he seems to be rock hard. It actually manages to drag your face away from his and make you stare at it instead. 

“May I?” 

He pulls at the waistband of his own underwear. Asking permission to remove his own underwear? It’s a considerate gesture, but you don’t think there’s any way you could want to remove it faster than you do right now. 

You nod, grabbing the fabric and help him pull it down his legs, letting him kick them off.  

“...May I?” 

He asks again with a little giggle at the end as he reaches for your own underwear as well. You also think there’s no way you could want those off any faster either. 

You give another nod, and he immediately takes his freedom to grab and slide yours down. Briefly, you feel a bit embarrassed at being exposed, but a single glance at how hard he his swiftly eases your thoughts. 

With you both bare, Kanata now returns his lips to yours and slowly pushes you backwards until you’re laying on your back once again. 

He settles himself in between your legs without hesitation and you worry for a moment. You’re most definitely not prepared to take him yet- just making out is not enough foreplay to make penetration comfortable. You open your mouth to warn him but he places a finger in front of your lips before you can voice a single concern. 

“Don’t ‘worry’.” 

He hums softly as he places his cock in between your legs, resting it on your sex. 

“I’m not doing ‘that’ yet~.” 

He thrusts against your body, not making any move to actually stick anything inside of you. Your anxiety eases at the sight and you lay your head back and decide to just relax. It feels... good. Better than you expected. Just some humping like this has you wanting more. You do suppose the majority of your nerves are outside your body rather than inside.  

He grabs your legs and pushes them together, creating the perfect place for him to thrust his dick in and out of. It also adds pressure onto your cunt as well, making you want to squeeze them tighter as well. He moans out loud at the feeling and starts to slowly move a bit faster. 

Your folds glisten from a combination of his precum and your own slick. His breath hitches every time you two rut against each other. When you look down, you can see the head of his cock poking out between your legs. It brushes against your clit, providing you with stimulation that has you fluttering your eyes closed. 

He squeezes your legs together even tighter and pushes them further back, shifting your weight higher on your back as he bears down onto you. The space in between your legs is utterly soaked and squelches with every single one of your shared movements- you wonder how good it would feel from behind or with you on top... 

You tap on Kanata’s arms. 

“Here, let me.” 

He swiftly pauses and backs off, still painfully hard and eager to get back at it again. You push on his chest until he’s the one laying back on the bed and you’re the one climbing onto him instead. 

You straddle his hips and place his dick so that it’s flat onto his stomach, then lower yourself until you’re grinding on it. 

If you thought it felt good before, it feels amazing now. Gliding up and down his shaft, the movements has pressure being placed directly onto your clit from behind it’s hood. It’s even better the times you grind over the head of his cock. Whenever you do that, you get the joy of going over the ridge separating it from the rest of the shaft. It’s something that makes not only you want to keel over in pleasure but also brings the most delicious sounds out of Kanata’s mouth as well. 

Before long, you're finding a rhythm and he’s joining in on it too. With every one of your movements, he’s thrusting against you to the best of his ability which makes everything feel all the better.  

Your legs get weaker with every move, and you feel your climax rapidly approaching. You don’t want yourself to be coming before he gets the chance too, so you redouble your efforts around his head to get him closer as well. You grind down even harder and let your clit catch every single time on the ridge. 

It’s like boiling water is coursing under your skin as you finally cum. You moan loudly and press yourself directly onto the tip of his cock as you cum and to your luck- Kanata thrusts up against you and finishes as well. He paints your pussy white with his seed as he moans as well.  

You both sit, panting after the event. It takes a good minute for you to feel your senses returning after it and Kanata seems to be the same. He reaches out a hand to gently caress your cheek and, to your surprise, calls out your name to get your attention. 

When you meet his eyes, he smiles. 

“I ‘like you’ a lot.” 

Your face rapidly starts to burn as you take in his words. Getting pinned down and riding him didn’t have you feeling embarrassed, but a few sweet words sure do have the power to completely throw you for a loop. 

“I like you too.” 

He smiles placidly unlike your reaction; He’s an enigma to you at times. He reaches out his other hand to grab onto one of yours and play with your fingers. It’s a sweet gesture that has you deep in thought while he does it. 

“May i ‘show’ you more?” 

The question snaps you out of your brain. Well.... if one of his ways of “showing you” before was to try and make you cum, well... you aren’t averse to seeing what other ways he has to show you.  

You hum in agreement and nod at him. Just like always, he’s smiling as he pats your thigh to get you to shift off of him. When you pick up a leg to move away, a droplet of mixed fluids slips off your dirtied cunt. You wince as it lands on Kanata’s leg, but to your surprise, he just reaches out a finger and brings it up to his lips. The sight is hotter than you expected it to be. 

As it turns out, that gesture is exactly what he intends to do anyways. He’s quickly parting your legs and lowering his face down to be in between them as he starts to clean you off. It looks completely lewd to see him in between your thighs with his tongue coated in his own spend as he slides it right in between your folds.  

It doesn’t just look nice; your body is still sensitive from your previous orgasm. It makes you want to squirm every time he licks, and your hips buck every time he flicks his tongue against your clit. You wonder how he managed to get good at this. 

He doesn’t neglect your hole either. He uses his fingers to stretch you out and play with you even more. He slides them in and out, curling and scissoring while he suckles on your clit. You bury your hands in his hair but try to resist the urge to guide him by it- it's so much more satisfying to let it be out of your control as he does his best to follow the sounds your body makes.  

It doesn’t take long for you to start moaning out loud again, letting yourself loose with his encouragement. You find it harder and harder to stop yourself from clamping your thighs around his head and bucking against it. He’s good, but he’s also so incredibly slow about it. You desperately want him to move faster, to press harder, but he continues at his languid pace that draws out your pleasure. You teeter on the edge oh so close. Just a little more.... 

Finally, he seems to get the hint, and presses the tip of his tongue straight into your clit, pushing harshly against your pelvis to properly stimulate it. All your restraint goes out the window and your legs swiftly close around his head and you nearly wail in pleasure.  

Kanata takes it like a champ, unmoving and continuing to press on the same spot until you ride out the heaviest of the waves and begin to slowly ease up on the sides of his head. When he pulls back, you can see the lower half of his face completely slick with your fluids. You have half a mind to be embarrassed at just how debauched you both look at this moment but instead of letting that show, you drag him up to your face to make out with him again instead. 

Tasting yourself on his lips, you wonder just how much further you two will go tonight.