#wtfocksoundtrack

[birthdaysentiment]

wtfock soundtrack → season 5 / episode 1

[birthdaysentiment]

wtfock soundtrack → season 5, episode 7

[birthdaysentiment]

wtfock soundtrack → season 5, episode 5

[birthdaysentiment]

wtfock soundtrack → season 5 / episode 2

[birthdaysentiment]

wtfock soundtrack → season 5, episode 4

[birthdaysentiment]

wtfock soundtrack → season 5, episode 6

[birthdaysentiment]

wtfock soundtrack → season 5 / episode 3

[birthdaysentiment]

The music in wtFOCK season 3 - Bonus Song

Zaterdag 00.57 // "Grave" - George Ogilvie

wtFOCK knows how to keep us waiting, how to build up the expectation and excitement of what's to come. The waiting somehow made the real-time aspect of the show more present, but also nerve-wracking as hell, because we never knew when to except the next clip; sometimes we could wait a couple of minutes, a whole hour, or even several hours until we learned what happened next. The waiting for this particular clip was pure torture, since wtFOCK decided to end the previous one, with the uncertainty of what happened when Robbe got up on his bike. But I think they wanted us to feel the stress and the worry of what happened when Sander left their room, because they wanted us to feel exactly what Robbe felt as he decided to go around the center of Antwerp looking for Sander, until he finally found him. But the reunion didn't happen the way he excepted, and even though we knew it was coming, none of us was prepared for the hurt that came along with it.

In the silence between the end of episode 8 and the start of episode 9, Robbe had been going around Antwerp in search for Sander, but it wasn't until he noticed the blue neon lights at the end of an ally, that Robbe knew he had found Sander, and that somebody had found him before he could. Robbe seemed tired as he looked up at the street to Sander's school, but his expression also told us that he was scared, not of Sander, but for him, because what Robbe was looking at didn't give him any indication of Sander being okay, only that he had been found. Robbe quickly got up on his bike and used all the remaining power in his legs to reach Sander, because in that moment he just wanted to be there for him, but he never actually got a chance to do it.

As he comes closer to the gate, he sees Sander sitting on the ground, wrapped in foil to try and keep his body temperature up, but he's not alone. He's surrounded by paramedics, a woman he doesn't recognize and Britt who looks at him with evil eyes, but in that moment all Robbe could focus on was Sander, how lost and broken he looked, how small he seemed with the people around him and how he didn't look like the happy and joyful Sander he had come to know. And in that moment I don't think Robbe could help but think back to their time in the hotel-room, where they had been enjoying each other, kissing and hugging all they wanted since they were alone and finally together, but the scene in front of him just confirms how quickly things can change.

The song is there at the beginning of the clip, where the powerful indie rock sound fills the air around Robbe, providing a groovy beat to the clip, but there's also a sadness, a melancholic attached to it as soon as they start to sing. The combination of the honesty of the lyrics and the rawness of the melody makes the song a good fit for this clip, that always hurts whenever you watch it. The song fades away to a quite background sound when Robbe gets closer to Sander, in the same moment as Britt walks towards Robbe, to make sure that he doesn't get any further, and because the song is still present, it manages to emphasize the emotions between Robbe and Britt. And because of that, the clip is almost impossible to watch, because the hurt and sadness is so prominent, but I'm sure a silence around them would have been even more unbearable and intense to watch.

There's no doubt about Britt's feelings towards Robbe, as her whole reaction says it all. The way she tries to act like a wall between Robbe and Sander, preventing them from being together, preventing Robbe from getting to Sander so he can hold him in his arms. She tries to hold Robbe back, she even lightly shoves him away, which she hopes will make him understand the situation they're in, that now is not the time or the place for Robbe to be, that he should stay away, since Britt seems to think that everything is his fault.

But Robbe doesn't care, he won't let Britt stop him from being with Sander, the person who made him feel something real, who made him feel loved. And Britt sees that, she can see the love between them, the love she never had with Sander, and even though she tries to convince herself otherwise, I do think she knew, deep down, that Sander wasn't hers, that they would never have the relationship he had with Robbe. But in that moment, Britt believed that she was the only one who could be there for him, especially at his lowest, that she was the only person who could make Sander feel whole again, and she would do anything to prove that.

Without thinking twice about it, Britt tells Robbe that Sander is bipolar, hoping that the information might be too much for Robbe to handle, that it will make Robbe step back and leave Sander alone. But Robbe doesn't believe her, it almost seems like he's trying to figure out if Britt is actually telling the truth or if she's as manipulative as Sander has described her to be. But as Britt keeps talking, as she keeps making Robbe feel guilty, small and insecure, he begins to understand the reality of the situation, and even though he might had been confused and a little shocked about it all, it didn't seem to change his mind, it didn't changed the fact that he was in love with Sander and that he would do anything to be there next to him.

Robbe doesn't want to believe Britt and the lies she's telling, but she knows how to get to Robbe, not caring about breaking his heart in the process. It always breaks my heart to witness the conversation between them, it hurts so much to see how determined Robbe is to get to Sander, to be there for him, but he can't, and that is so painful to watch, because Robbe can't be there for the only person, he wanted to be there for the most. And to hear Britt tell Robbe that it was all a lie, that Sander doesn't have feelings for him, that Robbe is just an obsession that he'll get over eventually, hurt every time, especially when we see Robbe's reaction up close.

When you learn about the meaning of the song, it makes sense why it was chosen for this particular clip, as the lyrics expresses the singer's battle with his mental health and the difficult spiral he was caught up in at the time. It seems fitting to this clip as Sander struggles with his mental illness, since he's in the middle of a manic episode and how he's caught up in a spiral that doesn't seem to stop, until he reached his school and comes down from his high. The song is such a clever choice, because the topics the song touches upon, is evident in the clip. And once again wtFOCK proves that they're good at parring a song with a certain clip, especially in terms of the editing, where the different tones in the melody goes perfectly with the development of the clip.

If things couldn't get any worse, Britt made sure to make Robbe feel even more guilty, than he already did, when she blamed him for pushing Sander into a manic episode. And as she tells Robbe to stay away from her boyfriend, Robbe is left alone on the sidewalk with his heart shattered into a million pieces. Robbe is frozen, he can't move or do anything other than see Britt go into the ambulance, only to watch it drive away. It's clear to see how Robbe feels in that moment, how the sadness, grief and pain is overwhelming and consuming in very way. He never thought that such a beautiful night could end like this, that it would turn out to be one of the most painful one's, because he wasn't able to do anything, he couldn't do anything to be there for Sander.

There's a lot of images of Robbe that I can't seem to get out of my head, and this is definitely one of them. To see how broken and sad he looked watching the ambulance drive away, how hard he was trying to not break down on the sidewalk, even thought everything seemed to wash over him at once, was heartbreaking and it was so difficult not to get influenced by it. In the background the music is back to its highest volume, where the beat rises and gets deeper, which adds another layer of intensity to the whole scene.

This clip always gets to me, the look on Robbe's face when Britt tells her version of the truth, how determined he is to get pass her, so he can hold Sander in his arms, the broken look on his face when the ambulance with Sander drives away and the moment when Robbe realizes that he can't be there for Sander, when he needed him the most. wtFOCK really knows how to mess with our hearts, and I'm surprised we all made it through season 3, because it was a tough one to watch, but even though there was a lot of low points, there was certainly a lot of high points as well, sometimes we just had to wait for them.

[birthdaysentiment]

The music in wtFOCK season 3 - Song #38

Dinsdag 07.27 // "You're the One That I Want" - Angus and Julia Stone

It's almost the end of season 3, and after a wild roller-coaster ride filled with every emotion possible, it seemed like everything was falling into its place, like everything was going to turn out the way it was supposed to. Because in the end, after weeks of ups and downs, after the most intense ten weeks ever, Robbe and Sander finally found their way back to each other as they reunited the day before. And even though they had done that in the past, we all knew, that this time it was going to last, that nothing would come between them ever again.

For me, this clip is the definition of soft and gentle, especially when you see Robbe and Sander lying so close together, cuddling and holding each other like they never want to let go, and that is a sight that makes your heart skip a beat. They look so peaceful and calm, but they also look safe in each other's arms, and just the feeling of each other's presence and warmth is enough for them to know, that everything is going to be alright. The way they take care of each other, how they're able to let the other know, that they're always going to be there for each other, without using words to describe it. For example, how Sander has his arms around Robbe, so he can feel his skin next to his and hold him close, as to tell Robbe that he's never letting him go, and how Robbe gently strokes his fingers over Sander's as to tell Sander, that everything is going to be okay, that he's safe and that he's never going to be alone, which gives an overall sense of peace and calmness to the clip.

The song is present in the clip from the beginning, where the acoustic guitar tones blends with the soft melody and soothing voice, which creates a peaceful atmosphere in the bedroom. The song emphasizes the softness in the clip, making everything seem calm and mellow as they lie relaxed and quite together. But the silence gets interrupted by Robbe's alarm, and the dusky room gets illuminated by his conversation with Britt, but that doesn't seem to interrupt the peaceful vibe that surrounds them, because as Robbe reads their text-conversation, a sense of relief runs through his body, as Sander is now lying next to him save and sound.

Robbe turns his attention back to Sander, who lies by his side, and it warms my heart to see Sander so peaceful, considering how he's been feeling since his episode. I think it gives him an enormous amount of comfort just to be able to have Robbe in his arms again, providing him the love and safety that he needs. And as Robbe looks at Sander, he can't help but feel relieved that he's lying next to him, that Sander is safe, but he's also happy to have found him, a sentence that has more than one meaning. Because not only did Robbe find Sander yesterday, "somewhere safe", in his art-studio, but he also found him at a time in his life, where he needed to find that person who could give him hope for the future, who could make him feel loved and wanted.

It's no secret that this song is a cover, but this version is much softer and loving, and even though there's a hint of a melancholic vibe to it, it's not overpowering in a way that makes the clip sad, because the level of softness and love is so high. But I think the lyrics fits so well to their story and feelings, for example with the lyrics below. When Robbe and Sander first met, none of them though they would feel the way they did, it was unexpected, especially when the chills got more and more intense for each time, they looked at each other. They were almost losing control of themselves, because of their feelings, which only seemed to grow stronger.

I got chills, they're multiplying, and I'm losing control

Cause the power you're supplying, it's electrifying

Robbe presses a featherlight kiss to Sander's cheek before he gets out of bed, but the movement and missing warmth and weight wakes Sander up, and for a brief moment fear runs through him, as he asks Robbe if he's going to leave him behind. Robbe turns around, a little surprised by Sander's comment, but doesn't think too much of it, because he knows Sander is asking for reassurance, which Robbe gives him by saying, that he'll never leave him in this universe. And I think that's such a sweet detail, that he doesn't say "in every universe", because he knows that it makes Sander feel lonely and not in control of his own life. So, he chooses to say, "in this universe", as a way to let Sander know, that no matter what happens in the other universes, in this one, the one they're living in now, he will never leave him behind, that he'll always come back to Sander.

wtFOCK has an ability to connect the lyrics from a song to a specific scene so well, where their editing skills really gets a chance to shine through, and this scene is another example of that. Right before Robbe gets out of bed, which causes Sander to open his eyes, you can hear the lyrics below in the background, as they're blending with the calming and soothing melody. Because even though we knew Robbe was going to tell Sander, that he'll always come back, the lyrics were there to let us know as well, that Robbe might leave his room, where Sander was lying so peaceful, but he'll always come back, because Sander is the one Robbe wants.

You're the one that I want, ooh ooh ooh, honey

The one that I want, ooh ooh ooh, honey

The one that I want, ooh ooh ooh

After Robbe makes a promise to Sander, they kiss so slow, so tender and it's almost too much, because there is so many emotions connected to those few kisses; they're full of love, full of reassurance, comfort and safety, which fits perfectly with the soft melody that comes back to fill the space around them. As the song continues, you can hear the following line "can't you see, oh yes indeed, oh yes indeed", and it almost seems like a comment to their conversation, that Sander doesn't have to worry about Robbe leaving him, because he'll never do that, he'll always come back. And in some ways, the sentence also seems like a comment to the lyrics above, that Robbe wants Sander, and that Sander never has to doubt that. Again, I know I'm properly overanalyzing, but I just think is interesting how they chose to match the scene with the music.

I love this scene so much, because once again it's a perfect example of how their relationship is, how much love, care and attention there is between them, how they're always there to make each other feel safe and at home, most of all in each other's arms and presence. But the moment, that makes my heart skip a beat, is when Sander has that little smile on his face as Robbe leaves the room, because that little smile tells us everything we need to know. 'Cause even though he knows deep down, that Robbe will come back, he just needed to hear him say it, he needed to get the reassurance that he's not alone, that Robbe loves him for the person that he is. That smile is there to represent everything Sander is feeling in that moment: happy, safe and most of all loved.

wtFOCK giving us a scene with pure softness between Robbe and Sander, right before the end of the season, was something we all needed. Because even though nothing major is happening, other than their conversation, it's the meaning behind it all, that make the scene so memorable. Not only the meaning behind Sander's question or Robbe's answer, but also the emotions behind their cuddling, the touches they share and the kisses they give. All of that is there to let us know, that everything is going to be alright between them, that no matter which obstacles that gets thrown their way, they're always going to make it in the end - not alone, but together.

[birthdaysentiment]

The music in wtFOCK season 3 - Bonus Song 

Zondag 14.08 // "Lullaby" - The Slow Show

Episode 9 was definitely a tough one to get through, because it seemed like the hurt and sadness would never end. Almost every clip left you broken inside, as the pain and grief got to overwhelming, and that made it almost impossible to prevent tears from forming, and this clip was no exception. I normally don't rewatch the individual clips, but as soon as I watched this again, I felt the tears slowly running down my cheeks, because everything about this clip is heartbreaking, a feeling I'm sure both Robbe and Sander was left with as well.

Some of my favorite clips have been the ones with no dialogue, because they have a special atmosphere around them. These clips feel so raw and exposed, since we only have the character's emotions and expressions to watch; there's no talk to help or support them at getting certain feelings out, they only have the silence or the music to do that. And especially in these clips, the music really gets a chance to shine as it somehow plays a bigger role, because we notice the melody and the lyrics more, since there's no other sounds to distract us.

With this clip I felt a connection to Robbe, as I watched him wandering around his room, trying to figure out what the right thing to do was, but I also felt connected to him emotionally, as I was with him every step of the way, because his feelings were right at the surface, ready to show themselves even more. To see Robbe in different positions in his room gave us a good indication of how he was feeling; the distress, the nervousness and confusion he felt in those moment, not knowing what to do in terms of his relationship with Sander. Should he just do nothing, should he just not help Sander at all like Jana had suggested, or should Robbe contact Sander and tell him that he'll always be there for him, that he's never letting him go?

The song is present in the clip from the beginning, where a sound of a steady guitar mixed with a constant beat fills Robbe's room. The melody is calm and mellow, providing an almost peaceful atmosphere to the clip, where Robbe's wondering movements acts like a contrast, since the melody doesn't seem to reflect his mood. Robbe is nothing but calm, he doesn't look peaceful, since the only thing on his mind is Sander and how he can help him, but Jana and Britt's words has captured his thoughts and in those moments it seemed like Robbe was conflicted between what his heart was telling him to do, and what his mind tried to convince him to do. Because maybe he should stay away, maybe there never has been anything real between him and Sander, but if that's true, if what Jana and Britt told him was the truth, then why does this decision hurt so much?

Robbe finally sits down on his bed, showing us that he has made a choice, that he's ready to do something about him and Sander's relationship, as he immediately opens his conversation with him. Robbe starts typing a message, and it becomes clear that Robbe made a choice nobody wanted him to make, and when he sends the message to Sander, you can clearly see how his facial expression and body language changes. It shows us how hard it was for Robbe to type out those words, almost as if he didn't believe in them himself, like it was something he was trying to convince himself of would help Sander in the end. But as he made that choice, he only made things more difficult for the both of them, something he realized later on.

The tone in the melody changes as well when Robbe sends the message to Sander, it becomes a bit deeper, where the steady and constant beat has been replaced by a more melancholic and sorrow sound, which seems fitting for the situation as it emphasizes Robbe's emotions as well. His unsteady breathing blends with the melody, and his eyes are so full of emotions, even though he's trying so hard not to get affected by the situation, but when Sander answers him, he lets out a breath he didn't knew he was holding, trying not to break down.

The singing voice has also changed from a deep, dark and hoarse voice to one that seems more soothing, more caring, which is something Robbe could use in that moment, care and properly also a very big hug. Maybe Robbe thought that his first message would be clear enough for Sander, that it would make him understand that it was over between them, cause when Sander asks, "with what", you can see how difficult it is for Robbe to answer that, because when he tells Sander why it's over between them, everything is going to feel more real, everything is going to hurt so much more, as the pain in his body is going to stay even longer.

In the background, as Robbe gathers the courage to write his last words to Sander, you can hear the lyrics below, and somehow, they make the moment even more difficult to watch, as the lyrics almost seems like a goodbye. This part always gets to me, because every aspect of this clip seems to be in perfect harmony with each other (both the melody, the lyrics and Robbe's emotions) as they create the right atmosphere to this moment. And once again wtFOCK is here to show us the power of close-up camera angles as they make it almost impossible for us to escape Robbe's feeling, while also making it very difficult to not get affected by them.

So close, your eyes

Cause tonight we falling

Behind

Cause tonight

We falling behind

Cause tonight

The acting is incredible in this clip, how raw and natural Robbe's reaction is to everything, how we're able to feel every single emotion that goes through him as he texts Sander. But the moment, where I think everyone's heart got crushed was when Robbe wrote "because there is no us", since almost everything else would have been less painful to read. And I can't even begin to imagine what Sander must have felt like in that moment, when he saw Robbe's last text, but in some ways I'm relieved I never had to, because I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to survive it, since I barely managed to watch Robbe's reaction.

Robbe tosses his phone onto the bed, immediately lowers his head while he's pulling at his hair to get some of the tension out of his body, to feel something else than the intense emotions running through his body. In that moment, after sending that text to Sander, I think Robbe regretted it, regretted the choice he had made, but those thoughts got quickly replaced by a voice saying that he done the right thing. But if it was the right thing to do, then why did the pain and hurt feel even more consuming and overwhelming than before? Maybe because everything suddenly became real, like the rain outside of his window had cleared his head. Maybe Robbe felt like he didn't have any other choice than to stand by his decision, like he had to accept the fact that things was over between him and Sander, that it was all for the best, and the only way for him to help Sander.

There's a reason why I almost never rewatch this clip, because it breaks my heart every single time. The silence of the room that only gets broken by the music, how the song is there to intensify every single emotion, the phenomenal acting from Willem Herbots, that never leaves you in doubt about Robbe's feeling and of course the brilliant writing of the texts between Robbe and Sander, how big of an impact those few words have on you. This clip is a tough one to get through, but that's the whole purpose of it, to make us feel the same sadness and hurt that Robbe felt in that moment, and let's just say, that wtFOCK managed to do just that.

[birthdaysentiment]

The music in wtFOCK season 3 - Masterlist

A masterlist with all the posts (analyses) I've written about some of the songs wtFOCK used in season 3. I might post and add some extra analysis with some of the songs, that I didn’t include in the first place, so the masterlist will be updated along the way.

Once again, I just want to say thank you to everyone who took the time to read my posts, react or comment on them, it meant (and still means) the absolute world to me. You’re all a true blessing and I’m sending you all my love!

Episode 1 - Gij zou u niet laten pijpen door haar?

Zaterdag 23.11 // "Fall" - The Bug feat. Copeland

Woensdag 10.13 // "K" - Cigarettes After Sex

Vrijdag 20.54 // "Stars" - VIZE feat. Laniia

Episode 2 - Playing hard to get.

Zondag 19.50 // "Get You the Moon" - Kina

Episode 3 - Wat heb ik te verliezen?

Zaterdag 08.44 // "Rebel, Rebel" - David Bowie

Zaterdag 13.13 // "Under Pressure" - Queen feat. David Bowie

Maandag 15.12 // "Alibi" - Mansionair

Donderdag 21.12 // "Trick R Treat" - Josh A. & Iamjakehill

Donderdag 21.12 // "Life Like This" - AK

Vrijdag 08.43 // "Unspoken" - Aaron Smith

Episode 4 - Ik twijfel een beetje.

Zaterdag 09.53 // "It's You" - Ali Gatie

Zondag 17.32 // "Soul Searching" - Bazzi

Woensdag 17.35 // "Space Oddity" - David Bowie

Woensdag 17.35 // "Shout" - Malia J

Woensdag 19.21 // "A Moment Apart" - ODESZA

Woensdag 21.21 // "Wildfire" - SYML (Part One)

Woensdag 21.21 // "Wildfire" - SYML (Part Two)

Donderdag 07.46 // "Space Oddity" - Passenger

Episode 5 - Het ligt toch niet aan mij?

Zaterdag 21.43 // "Life on Mars?" - David Bowie

Zaterdag 21.52 // "Wicked Game" - Mcevoy

Woensdag 16.36 // "Ocean Eyes" - Billie Eilish

Vrijdag 22.53 // "Jet Black" - Anderson.Paak

Vrijdag 22.53 // "Two Men in Love" - The Irrepressibles

Episode 6 - Het ging allemaal focking snel.

Zaterdag 21.35 // "Hurt" - 2WEI

Woensdag 16.17 // "Die Alone" - FINNEAS

Episode 7 - Ik heb het verpest. Ik weet het.

Zaterdag 15.02 // "Glass House" - Machine Gun Kelly feat. Naomi Wild

Dinsdag 21.41 // "Life is Beautiful" - Lil Peep

Vrijdag 21.21 // "Wandering Romance" - Lie Ning (Part One)

Vrijdag 21.21 // "Wandering Romance" - Lie Ning (Part Two)

Episode 8 - Zo rap ben je van mij nog niet af.

Zaterdag 09.41 // "Past Lives" - BØRNS

Vrijdag 22.21 // "Rescue My Heart" - Liz Longley

Vrijdag 22.52 // "Heroes" - David Bowie

Episode 9 - Je bent gewoon zijn volgende obsessie.

Dinsdag 12.12 // "Young Gods" - Gabriel Rios

Vrijdag 19.25 // "Deliverance" - RY X

Episode 10 - Ander onderwerp. Oké?

Zondag 15.12 // "I Found” - Amber Run

Maandag 11.03 // "Wildfire" - SYML (Part One)

Maandag 11.03 // "Wildfire" - SYML (Part Two)

Dinsdag 07.27 // "You're the One That I Want" - Angus and Julia Stone

Vrijdag 21.03 // "Dance Monkey" - Tones And I

Vrijdag 21.03 // "In My Mind" - Dynoro & Gigi D'Agostino

Bonus Songs from wtFOCK season 3

Dinsdag 16.19 // “Beat of My Heart” - Lost Frequencies

Dinsdag 16.31 // "Collide" - Tiana Major9 & EARTHGANG

Zaterdag 10.32 // "Unfair" - 6LACK & Love Renaissance

Zaterdag 00.57 // “Grave” - George Ogilvie

Zondag 14.08 // "Lullaby" - The Slow Show

[birthdaysentiment]

The music in wtFOCK season 3 - Song #17

Woensdag 21.21 // "Wildfire" - SYML (Part Two)

Do you ever get that feeling of losing track of time, or that time is standing still? Why do we feel that way? Is our mind trying to tell us to enjoy the moment while it last, or is our heart trying to hold on to that moment for as long as it can, because we might never get it back? I know I've said this before, but I will never forget the first time I saw the clip, how I was holding my breath the entire time, trying to be as quite as possible by not moving, because I was afraid that I would miss something. I will never forget the feeling that ran through my body when the moment finally came, when Robbe and Sander closed the distance between them.

Thinking about their first kiss, there was a lot of options in terms of how that was gonna happen. Would wtFOCK create their own moment for Robbe and Sander, or would they find some inspiration from SKAM? But even though they went with option number two, I still felt like I knew nothing about what was gonna happen, not even when Sander went up to the top of the stairs to reveal the swimming pool to Robbe. If my heart was still beating at that time, I knew with certainty that it had stopped beating the moment I saw the swimming pool, and the look on both their faces.

Robbe was clearly taken by surprise, because he didn't know what to except when he followed Sander, but that didn't matter because the only thing Robbe was certain of, was that he would have followed Sander anywhere in that moment. 

As Sander started to take his clothes off, leaving him naked, Robbe couldn't help but feeling a bit confused, even though he felt something for Sander, and there might be a couple of reasons for that. For starters I don't think Robbe expected to see Sander's body already, and he must have felt every emotion go through his body at that moment. But I also can't help but wonder if Robbe knew what Sander was up to, or if he had some sort of idea of what was going through Sander's mind when he jumped into the pool.

Because Robbe couldn't deny the feelings that was growing between, how every minute he was spending with Sander felt like so much more. Being with Sander actually made Robbe feel alive. So, after Sander jumped into the water, Robbe was still a bit hesitant, but like I wrote earlier, Robbe would follow him anywhere, all he had to do was just to look into those green eyes. Robbe finally lets himself be in the moment, he finally lets himself relax for a bit, because when he removed the last piece of clothing after Sander's iconic line "all the way or no way", he decided that he would let the rest of the night happen, as it was supposed to.

As soon as Robbe hits the water, the instrumental version of "Wildfire" starts playing in the background, once again symbolizing a change, almost a rebirth, which is a symbolism the water helps creating. I love the fact that wtFOCK chose to use the same song in the whole clip, and the little detail by using different versions of it, just makes it even more special, because each version carries its own meaning and feeling.

Robbe is under water while the song is still playing in the background, and as he floats to the surface, as he breaks through it, the song continues where the violins make everything seem even more intense.

Robbe has felt lonely so many times in his life, but whenever he's with Sander that feeling disappear. As Robbe comes to the surface of the water, Sander is there waiting for him, reminding Robbe that he's not alone anymore. He's with Sander, a boy that has made his mind overwork itself, but Sander is also a boy that has made Robbe feel everything, that has made him feel something real. The whole scene is so intense and intimate, and you can just feel the connection, the attraction and feelings between them. And the song is there to really empathize that, which is properly the reason why wtFOCK chose this version, for this part of the clip. They're building up to a very special moment, and we're just waiting for it.

I've always loved the part, where they're teasing each other, as they discuss who of them can hold their breath the longest, and to get the right answer they both head down under water. Robbe is closing his eyes, trying to concentrate on the moment, trying to keep his emotions in, because he's a little scared of what might happen if he opens them and finds a pair of green eyes staring back at him. Because could Sander look more in love? Sander looks at Robbe like he's the center of the universe, and in that moment, Sander loses track of time, loses track of where he is, because now's the time, Sander is certain this is the right moment. 

But as Robbe feels the water move, as he feels Sander's body coming closer to him, he opens his eyes and push Sander away, just before their lips can collide. And as they break through the surface of the water the music stops. Maybe Robbe wasn't prepared, maybe he was scared and perhaps that's why he let his doubts take control, because after a night of feeling more alive than ever, Robbe got hit in the face with the truth of reality.

His thoughts are once again running wild, because what just happened and why would he push Sander away? Robbe was letting his fears make the decision for him, he made the confusion blur his mind. But Robbe knows what he wants, and for once he's gonna listen to that. So, they take a rematch, pushing themselves under water, but this time, they're looking intensely at each other, because Robbe has realized that he wants this more than anything, he just wants to feel Sander's lips on his.

The song starts to play again, this time the alternative version, and as they sink down into the water, the following lyrics can be heard in the background with the sweetest, most loving melody:

Darling, please don't give up

Drop your hate and sing for love

Let me be the one who sings along

In that moment when Robbe pushes himself towards Sander, he's taking the first step showing Sander that he wants him, just as much as Sander wants him. And I can't help but get all emotional and teary about this, especially since the thoughts behind the lyrics above is so fitting to Robbe and Sander. How some people are waking up with the same feeling every day, a feeling of missing something that has been taking away from them, and how everything can seem so hopeless, which sometimes can make it too hard to continue. The lyrics is mean to represent that there is someone out there, who will stop you from giving up, that there's someone who will save you. Robbe and Sander removed that feeling from each other and showed that their love was enough to make them want to continue. In that moment Robbe decided that he wasn't gonna live a fake life, at least not for that moment, because when his lips touched Sander's, he didn't know it could feel so good, because he had never felt anything like that before.

As they continue kissing, the song becomes even more intense, more powerful and in a smooth change the versions switches, so it's the original version, that fills the speakers as they break through the surface of the water. Once again, the change of version is a symbol of the change Robbe and Sander are going through, and this might be the biggest of them all.

This scene, this part of the clip is one of my personal favourites in all of season 3, not just because of Robbe and Sander's first kiss or the music, but also because of the breathtaking aesthetic shots. How the camera is so close to them, making the moment and their kiss even more intense and even more intimate.

The lust and desire between them are obvious. They hold and cling on to every part of each other, because they need to know if this is real, if this it really happening. For so long Robbe has been lost, thinking that he would never be happy, that he never would experience true love. And for so long Sander has been feeling hopeless, because he never believed he would find someone, who you love him, for the person that he is. But they found each other, and they made their dreams come true. They showed each other that they didn't need to live in a world where love was impossible for them, because they were each other's light in darkness.

When I had watched the clip for the first time, I remember feeling emotionally overwhelmed, because I had felt everything in that clip, every possible emotion, but all I wanted to do was to hold on to that. In that moment, I wish that I could stop the time, so I could keep living in that moment, something I'm sure Robbe and Sander wanted to as well. If I had the opportunity to experience something for the first time again, it would be that clip, because I have never experienced feeling so many emotions at the same time, feeling them so much.

The song made the whole experience for me and I truly don't believe that the clip would have been the same with a different song. It's rare that you come across the perfect song for the perfect scene, but wtFOCK managed to do that, and it was that combination between the two, that made the moment even more magical. As I wrote in my introduction to these 'analysis', what would Woensdag 21.21 be without "Wildfire"?

[birthdaysentiment]

The music in wtFOCK season 3 - Song #37

Maandag 11.03 // "Wildfire" - SYML (Part Two)

One of the most difficult things to do in life is to let other people into your life, to show them your world and what kind of person you are. It can be scary to let people see who you are, to let someone see the god and bad parts, because maybe they're not going to like what they find, maybe they're not going to stay once they learn the truth and when they see everything you carry around with you. No matter how terrifying it can be to open up to someone else, to lay everything out and say, "this is me, all of me", we all wish to find that person. We all want to find that one person, who we can be ourselves with, where we don't have to hide or pretend to be someone we're not, because we know they're always going to be there right by our side.

This clip, this scene in particular, is one of my absolute favourites, because for me, it felt like this reunion was the moment where Robbe and Sander realized, that they're always going to be there for each other, that they're not alone and lost in this crazy world, because they will always have each other by their side no matter what.

At this point, Sander had told Robbe about his fears, letting him know what he thinks about himself, because Sander believes that he's toxic, that he breaks everything he touches, that Robbe is going to leave him since he only causes problems, because sooner or later Sander is going to hurt Robbe again, and that thought alone is enough to make Sander want to give up his own happiness, if it's going to keep Robbe safe. But Robbe sees Sander in a different light, he knows that Sander isn't toxic, that he doesn't break everything he touches, because when Sander touched him, he had never felt anything like that before. Robbe isn't going to let the darkness swallow Sander, he's determined to pull Sander out of that darkness, just like he did for Robbe.

In that moment, Robbe wanted to remove all of Sander's fears, and he knew a way to do just that. Robbe takes Sander's hands, asking him to get up, so they can stand in front of each other. And in that same moment, the piano version of "wildfire" starts playing in the background where the calmness and soothing melody fit perfectly to Robbe's gentle and soft voice, which makes everything seem much more intimate, as they stand close to each other. Robbe is almost glowing, his skin and clothes is filled with warm colours, where his brown eyes really stands out, and it's an interesting contrast to Sander, who's bleached hair, grey clothes and tiredness, makes him seem a bit colder and more distant, like it's reflecting what's going on inside of him.

Robbe lets him in on the game, that they're not going to think "what if we ever", but instead, they're going to think "what if we, in the next minute…", and the thought of that seems to bring some comfort. Sander is a thinker, he has a lot of thoughts, especially about the time to come, if everything is going to work out, or if everything is going to fall apart. He can't always control them, but whenever Robbe is near him, his mind seems to be going a lot slower, not racing with hundred miles per hour, so when Robbe tells him what they're going to do in the next minute, it seems to bring some sort of peace to him, that he doesn't have to think about what will happen later or what will happen after they kiss, because they will just take it minute by minute.

As they lean towards each other, the alternative version of the song starts playing around them, where a familiar melody filled with so many emotions, replaces the pure piano tones, and suddenly everything feels overwhelming. Every emotion in that scene gets intensified because of the music, where the song really emphasizes the care, comfort, tenderness and love between Robbe and Sander, which makes the moment so special, and at the same time, you're trying to hold your breath, trying not to move, because you don't want to ruin that minute.

The kiss is filled with so much tenderness, it's so gentle and loving, but at the same time it's almost too much, because of the intensity and intimacy. We have seen Robbe and Sander kiss many times before; they have shares passionate kisses, longing and caring ones, they have shared kisses full of desire and lust, but they've also given each other featherlight kisses. But somehow this kiss seems different, like there is so many unspoken words put into it, but most of all it seems like a declaration of love, a promise from Robbe, that he'll always be there for Sander, that he never has to worry about that. And the contrast between them, with the warm and cold colours, seems to disappear for a moment, and it almost seems like Robbe is trying to give some of his warmth to Sander with the kiss, trying to give him all the comfort, love and safety he needs in that moment.

They continue kissing as Robbe puts an arm around Sander's shoulder, so he can deepen the kiss, but as the camera turns around, as Robbe holds Sander closer to him, Sander can feel how every emotion is coming to him all at once. He slowly moves away from Robbe's lips before he breaks down in his arms, a place where he now feels safe and loved. In that same moment when the tears start forming in his eyes, when his breathing gets unsteady, while he's trying to stay on his feet, the lyrics below can be heard in the background, and somehow it seems like everything is connecting on a deeper level.

Sometimes we break so beautiful

And you know you're not the only one

I breathe you in, so sweet and powerful

Like a wildfire burning up inside my lungs

The editing is once again spot on, because as they sing "sometimes we break so beautiful", Sander breaks down in Robbe's arms in a room that he considers "somewhere safe", and for me, that somehow makes the moment even more emotional. Because Sander is not only in the arms of the person that he loves, but he's also in a room that gives him comfort, where he has the opportunity to escape his thoughts for just a moment, because art is his safe place. In that moment, Sander feels safe enough to be vulnerable, because he believes that Robbe is going to be there to catch him if he falls, that Robbe is going to be there for him, he's going to just hold him in his arms and let him know that it's okay to let it all out, that Sander will always be safe in his arms.

I've written about the meaning behind this song before, but somehow, I feel like the thoughts behind it has a different meaning in terms of this clip, and once again I can't help but get all emotional and teary. Some people wake up with the same feeling every day, a feeling of missing something that has been taken away from them, thinking everything seem so hopeless, which sometimes can make it too hard and difficult to continue. But this song is meant to represent that there is someone out there, who will stop you from giving up, who will let you know that there's hope and how much you mean to them.

In this moment, as Robbe is holding Sander close while his sobs gets louder, Robbe lets him know that he's loved, that he never has to feel alone since he'll always have Robbe by his side, for there is hope in this crazy world they're living in, and they're going to get through it together. Because when you find yourself in a season of destruction and loss, you might need someone to tell you that there's hope, and that they matter, you might need to know that there's someone who will come and pull you out of the dark, which will make it easier to continue. Robbe and Sander is that for each other, they pulled each other out of the darkness, they showed each other that there was another way to live your life, a way that was real and filled with love and happiness.

I love the way Robbe is taking care of Sander, because he's just there for him, and that's exactly what he needs in that moment, and I'm sure it meant everything to Sander. He's never experienced that kind of care before, that kind of love, comfort and safety, because even though he thought he had that in the past, being in Robbe's arms reminds him of how real love should feel like. When Sander no longer can stand on his feet, Robbe takes a firmer hold of him and lowers them to the floor as Sander's crying gets louder, and Robbe just rocks them slowly back and forth while he strokes Sander's hair to let him know that he's there. He's being so sweet, so caring and so gentle with Sander, and that just makes my heart so warm, especially with the loving melody in the background, that makes the moment even more powerful, because every emotion rises to the surface.

I have a hard time watching this scene, actually the whole clip, and sometimes I get all emotional just by thinking about it, because there's so many emotions attached to it. But it always warms my heart to see how much love and care they are between them; how important they are for each other and the changes they've gone through. Seeing Sander break down was tough, painful and it hurt, but I think Sander needed it, I think he needed to let everything out he had been holding inside, he needed to break down in order for him to process everything that happened the last ten weeks. And as I wrote in the beginning, it can be scary to open up, to let someone else into your life, and I think Sander was terrified that the truth would come between them, that Robbe would treat him differently and eventually leave, once he found out about his mental illness, but Robbe was different. By holding him close and whispering comforting words to him, Robbe was letting Sander know that he was never going to leave his side, which was everything Sander needed to know in that moment.

Before the clip ends, Robbe says something to Sander, that always makes me emotional, because as the song is coming to an end, as the melody gets softer and more mellow, Robbe whispers "I'm so happy I found you", six words that holds so much meaning. Not only is Robbe happy to have found Sander in his art room, to know that he's safe, but I also think Robbe says those words to Sander, to let him know how much he means to him, how grateful and happy he is about finding Sander, about him being a part of his life. Because without Sander, Robbe would properly be living a fake life, where he would pretend to be someone he's not, while trying to hide his true feelings. But when he met Sander everything changed, not only did he meet the person that made him feel something he'd never felt before, but he also met the person, that changed his life for the better, because Sander made Robbe want to be himself, Sander made Robbe embrace everything his life had to offer.

After this clip, I found myself emotionally overwhelmed, almost drained, because I had felt every single emotion in that clip, something the choice of music also helped with achieving. For me, "wildfire" will always be Robbe and Sander's song, and sometimes it surprises me, that it wasn't written specifically for them, because it fits so perfectly to them and their story. I can't imagine a different song for this clip, or another song to be the theme of their love story and the journey they've been on together, and I guess that just shows how brilliant wtFOCK is when it comes to selecting the songs for the soundtrack. And even though I have a hard time listing to "wildfire" and its different versions, the song will always be one of my favourites from the soundtrack to season 3, just as it always will have a special place in my heart.

[birthdaysentiment]

The music in wtFOCK season 3 - Song #28

Vrijdag 21.21 // "Wandering Romance" - Lie Ning (Part One)

There are songs that just leaves an impact on you, songs you'll never forget, songs you'll always remember, and there can be various reasons for that. Maybe the song awoke something inside of you, for example, emotions you didn't know you had, or maybe you felt such a strong connection to the song, because it reminded you of a specific situation in your life. This song is definitely one we'll never forget, because it was used in one of the most memorable clips in season 3. This choice of song couldn't have been more perfect, because it seems like everything - the song, the lyrics and the whole situation - connected on a higher level.

After everything that happened, Robbe and Sander wasn't seeing or talking to each other, they only meet once by accident. However, they had been sending messages to each other here and there, but that only seemed to make the situation more confused and complicated. But earlier that day Robbe made a choice, because he needed to know if it was real between them, if Sander really wanted him. So, he sent Sander an ultimatum, Robbe made him choose, because it was either going to be him, or their relationship would be over for Robbe.

Sander hasn't responded to Robbe's text, and the look on Robbe's face says it all. He's scared and afraid that he might not feel the same way as he does, that Sander doesn't want to be with him despite everything that has happened between them. As Robbe enters the hallway, Sander shows up, and Robbe seems almost paralyzed by his presence. He just looks at him as he walks further towards him, slowly closing the distance between them, but it's not only Robbe's body that's paralyzed, he's also lost for words and he doesn't know what to say. Because Sander showing up could mean that he's there to tell Robbe that he chooses him, or that Sander is there to tell Robbe that it's never going to be the two of them, and that though scares Robbe more than anything.

Sander is now standing in front of Robbe, and the only sound that surrounds them is the silence, a silence that seems almost overwhelming, along with the tension between them, that was so intense. I remember, being afraid to breath, even move, since I didn't want to ruin the moment between them, because at some level, it felt like I was disturbing a very intimate and meaningful moment between Robbe and Sander, especially since the camera was so close to them, making you see and feel every emotion from both of them. 

They're just looking at each other, not moving, not talking, just starring into each other's eyes, and it must have felt so intense for both of them, because they hadn't been standing this close for a long time, along with so many unspoken words between them. But Sander came to Robbe for a reason, because as soon as he saw Robbe's message, he knew what he had to do, he knew what he needed to say, because he'd always known that it was going to be Robbe. But as he stands in front of him, Sander is lost for words, so to show Robbe how he feels, he leans in, so slowly and so gentle, in order for their lips to meet in a soft and quite kiss.

As soon as Sander leans in the music starts in the background, filling up the silence around them. And from that moment, you just knew that this clip was going to be special, that the music was going to make this moment memorable. In the beginning, the melody is in some ways very quiet, where the steady and deep beat almost creates a sadness, a melancholic vibe, that seems to increase the tension and intimacy between them.

As the instrumental part of the song comes to an end, Robbe gives Sander a small push and their lips part, because even though he has longed for Sander's touch, longed to be near him, he still needs to hear the words from him. He needs to know that Sander wants him, that this isn't the end for them, because that kiss could mean so many things; is it a kiss that symbolizes the start of their relationship, or is it a goodbye kiss, a finally touch for Robbe to remember Sander by? As Robbe breaks the kiss, Sander looks down, unable to look him in the eyes, because he's afraid of what he might see, he's scared that he spilled the chance for them being together.

Sander has also longed for Robbe's touch, to be near him and feel his skin against his, so he rests his forehead against Robbe's, while the melody continues to play in the background. The combination of Robbe and Sander leaning against each other, with the music surrounding them, creates an intensity and intimacy that almost feels consuming, because you can feel the passion, they have for each other everywhere. At that point my heart had stopped beating, my eyes had stopped blinking, because I was so afraid that I would miss anything. And I will never forget the emotions that went through my body, because it was overwhelming, but in a good way, because I didn't thought that this scene would leave such a huge impact on me, that Willem Herbots and Willem De Schryver would have such a magical chemistry, which made Robbe and Sander the ultimate power-couple.

As they're standing close to each other, foreheads touching, you can hear the lyrics below in the background, filling out the silence between them. And for once, I don't think the lyrics only speaks for Robbe but also for Sander, because even though he managed to say the iconic words to Robbe, that made him believe that it was going to be the two of them forever, there was still so much Sander wanted to say to him, and I think the lyrics is a sign of that. The camera focus on the two of them, so we can see all of their emotions and the lyrics go:

No one knows the pain

No one sees what I see in you

No one feels the same

Love is something so special, and the love you feel for one person, is never the same as you feel for someone else. The love between Robbe and Sander is unique, it's so special, magical, intense, passionate and I could keep on going, because the love they share is everything and more. Sander knows that what he feels for Robbe, is something he'd never felt before, because when he saw Robbe in the moonlight, something changed, he finally knew what real love was supposed to feel like. He sees Robbe for who he is, the beautiful, kind, loving and caring person that he is, and he wished everybody could see the same, could see how amazing Robbe is. But love can also feel consuming, overwhelming and sometimes painful, but even thought Robbe and Sander had their troubles, they always found their way back to each other, because their love is so powerful.

The lyrics fade away and the instrumental part of the song is once again, filling the silence between them. Sander now knows that a kiss isn't enough, that he can't just show his love to Robbe by joining their lips together, Robbe needs more, so Sander knows that he needs to put words to his love. He raises his eyes, looking deeply into Robbe's, and you can almost sense a sadness and vulnerability in Sander's eyes, because he knows how meaningful this moment is, it's now or never. They look at each other as Sander declares his love:

Jij en ik

Honderd procent, voor altijd

In elk universum

As Sander's words hang in the tense air between them, he waits for Robbe's respond, almost holding his breath, hoping, that what he said was enough to convince Robbe, that he's the one, that it's always going to be the two of them in every universe. Because even though Sander wanted to say more, wished that he had said more, he just hoped that his words would be enough to make Robbe believe him, and it did, it made Robbe believe him.

Now it's Robbe's turn to show Sander, that he feels the same way, that his thought about the two of them are the same, and then he decides to close the distance between them, letting their lips touch, before they begin one of the many passionate kisses, they're going to share that night. And you can almost see the relief in Sander, how his whole body seems to relax when he finally receives the touch from Robbe, because that kiss symbolizes so much more than just them finding their way back together, it also shows that they want and need each other, that it's always was going to be the two of them forever in every universe.

It amazes me how a scene, that takes under a minute, can leave such a huge impact on you, how many feelings, emotions and thoughts that can be attached to a scene like that. It's one of the most beautiful moments in season 3, because Robbe and Sander are so vulnerable with each other, but also so sweet, gentle, loving and caring. Because even though there's hardly any dialogue, they still manage to speak so many words to each other, just with their body language, their facial expressions, the touches they share and all the unspoken words that files the space between them. And I guess that's shows how perfect they are for each other; how powerful they are.

wtFOCK's choice of music for this scene couldn't have been more perfect. The melody encircles every emotion, every feeling between Robbe and Sander and increases them, so they end up meaning much more. The softness, the closeness, the passion, intensity and intimacy between them is almost overwhelming, but not in a bad way, because you truly feel everything they're feeling in that moment. Because even though the music has a melancholic vibe to it, the song still screams of romance, and the love there is between Robbe and Sander. The song is an open declaration of love and affection, something Robbe and Sander showed each other that night, where they made a promise to each other, which none of them intends to ever break; that it's going to be the two of them forever in every universe.

[birthdaysentiment]

The music in wtFOCK season 3 - Song #36

Maandag 11.03 // "Wildfire" - SYML (Part One)

I think a lot of people know the feeling of running towards something, whether it's physically or mentally. The rush that goes through your body for each step you take, or the speed your thoughts and feelings are going at for every minute that passes by. Running towards something or someone carries a lot of emotions, both good and bad, because what will happen when I reach what I have been searching for, when I finally reunite with the person I have been longing to hold, or what will happen when I finally see the person that I truly love?

Despite Robbe's attempt to get in contact with Sander the day before, he still hasn't heard from him, and there's still no signs of where he could be, if he's safe or not. And that thought alone is enough to make Robbe almost shiver with anxiety and worry, because for each minute that passes by Robbe thinks back to Britt's words, that made a cold feeling run through his body: "I hope he doesn't do anything stupid". But as Robbe is standing in the middle of the corridor at school, with Jens by his side, he receives a rather cryptic message from Sander.

Nobody knows where Sander has been for the past 24 hours, so when Robbe receives that message, a sense of relief seems to run through his body, because Sander is finally reaching out, letting Robbe know what is happening. At first it doesn't seem like Robbe understands the meaning behind Sander words, and it's not until Sander texts him back saying "I'm taking shelter until the meltdown is over. Somewhere safe", that Robbe seems to figure out what it means, where Sander has been all this time. And it's that look on Robbe's face that makes us all realize, that the moment, we've all been waiting for, has finally arrived.

The moment of realization gets even more magical, as the alternative version of "wildfire" starts playing in the background, where the sound of the soft and heart-warming melody immediately brings back every emotion and memory from when we heard the song for the first time weeks ago. In that moment, when realization hits Robbe, he just turns around and starts running, letting his feet almost float above the ground, as his mind goes to the memory of their conversation about "chernobyl", and what it means to them. And as he runs down the corridor in slow-motion, the song follows his every move, making everything fit perfectly together.

When Sander wrote "everything I do is chernobyl", he chose that word because he knew Robbe would understand what it meant, what he was referring to: a complete meltdown in your brain, the state of total turmoil and the absolute chaos and mayhem your mind can sink to when everything gets to much. Robbe had used the same word to explain what happened after their first kiss, and Sander seemed to understand immediately, because he had experienced it so many times himself. As Robbe runs down the stairs, flashbacks from their conversation and their passionate kiss fills the screen, while the song keeps playing in the background, and I remember that I almost forgot to breath, because I was so in the moment and I didn't want to miss anything.

This song is loaded with emotions, especially in terms of Robbe and Sander, so for wtFOCK to use the different versions of the song to this clip, just like they did with Woensdag 21.21, just shows the significance of it, and how important it is in terms of their story. It's interesting to see how they chose to use the same song for two clips, that both represents an essential moment in their relationship. For example, their first kissed proved to be a point of no return, as they finally admitted their feelings to each other, and this clip proved to be the moment where they finally reunited, where they let down their bars and took each other in completely, promising that they would never be alone again, because they would always have each other.

Robbe is standing at the bike rack near Sander's school, like he did weeks ago, while flashbacks from that moment seems to come back to him, like they're encouraging and guiding him in his search for Sander. He goes to the classroom where he saw Sander that day, hoping to find the boy with bleached hair, but there's no sign of him. Robbe looks sad and a slight fear and disappointment seems to take over, making his heart race faster, because maybe he didn't interpret Sander's text right, maybe he's not in the right place at all. But Robbe is determined to keep on searching for Sander, because he would never give up on him.

In that moment Robbe turns around and starts running up the stairs, as the song changes to its original version. The pace becomes faster as Robbe moves through the different rooms in search for Sander, and he seems to be running faster between each room, as the intensity riches in the song. The power and the intensity of the melody almost creates an excitement and an anticipation for what is going to happen, but the rhyme also makes your heart race even faster, as we wait for the song's peak. In that same moment as the song reaches its highest point, Robbe closes a door, which starts a chain of memories flashing before him, as drawings of special and important moments with him and Sander, blends with the actual moments, making the whole montages of memories and drawing so beautiful and extremely emotional to watch.

For me, this is one of the most beautiful moments in season 3, because everything was so well thought out, everything just seemed to connect, which added something extra to the whole experience. The way wtFOCK chose to include the flashbacks was so original and such a beautiful way to make a reference to Sander, because as we learned later on in the clip, Sander had tried to capture almost every moment he'd spent with Robbe through drawings and pictures, because he wanted to hold on to those memories forever, and that just made the flashback-montage even more special. And once again, the editing was spot on, as the speed of the flashbacks, the hast in Robbe's movement and the rhyme in the song seemed to come together as one. The combination made our hearts beat faster, we were almost unable to control it, as we waited for Robbe to find Sander.

What I love most about the flashbacks, is not only the moments they chose, but also how they chose to make the whole montage. For example, how the warm and brighter filter over the flashbacks symbolizes the fondness of those memories, how important they are for Robbe and how he keeps them close to his heart. But the golden colors over the flashbacks, also seems to represent the emotions Robbe connects with them, such as warmth, happiness, safety, comfort and love. The memories remind Robbe of his and Sander's journey together, how those moments changed his life for the better, how they made Robbe want to be the person he truly was.  

If you think back to the meaning behind the lyrics and the overall message the artist wanted to give with this song, then it makes perfect sense, as to why wtFOCK chose this song for this particular moment. Even though I've explained some of it before, I think it means something different with this clip, as Robbe and Sander have come a long way since their first kiss. During the scene where the memories flash before Robbe as he runs in search for Sander, the lyrics below blends with the melody:

Sometimes we break so beautiful

And you know you're not the only one

I breathe you in, so sweet and powerful

Like a wildfire burning up inside my lungs

In times of loss and destruction, someone might need to hear that they matter and that there's hope. Because some people wake up with the same feeling every day, a feeling of missing something that has been taking away from them, how everything can seem so hopeless, which sometimes can make it too hard to continue. But there is someone out there, who will stop you from giving up, who will come and pull you out of the dark-ness, to show you that there is hope somewhere in this world. The meaning behind the song describes the situation in this clip perfectly, and as I've said before, I still can't believe this song wasn't written for Robbe and Sander because everything seems to fit together with their journey, but that just shows that wtFOCK couldn't have chosen a more perfect song to use as a symbol of their story.

Sander is in a place where he feels like everything he does is chernobyl, and that he can't protect Robbe from the fallout. This makes Sander lose hope, because he's afraid that his actions will prevent them from being together. But Robbe is not gonna let that happen, he's not gonna let Sander slip through his fingers, because Robbe wants to remove that feeling of hopelessness, since Sander was the one who showed Robbe hope, who pulled him out of the darkness and into the light. They have been each other's saviors, showing each other how good it could feel to be alive, to live life to its fullest. That's why Robbe is running towards Sander, because he needs to let him know that he's not alone, that Robbe is always going to be there and love him. 

The racing beat of the song quickly comes to an end when Robbe finally finds Sander, and in that moment the music stops, almost indicating the importance of the moment to come. Silence takes over, making the moment even more intense, as we all await Sander's reaction to Robbe's presence in the room. Robbe gets a change to take his surrounding in, and I'm sure the sight of all the drawings and picture took him by surprise, but that didn't remove his focus from the boy sitting in front of him, who was looking even more sad and broken than ever before. Robbe had kept on running, determined to find that one person he would do anything for, and just the sight of the red marks around his beautiful green eyes, was enough for Robbe to realize that he would do anything for Sander, that he would do anything to make him feel loved and safe.

[birthdaysentiment]

The music in wtFOCK season 3 - Song #23

Vrijdag 22.53 // "Two Men in Love" - The Irrepressibles

From the beginning I knew which songs I wanted to write about, and I knew this would be one of the hardest. It's crazy to think of how your life can change in the blink of an eye, how your whole life can be turned upside down because of one decision you make. I think I speak for everyone when I say, that none of us saw it coming, that the night where Robbe and Sander had their first date, would end the way that it did. And for that reason, I think this scene makes the whole clip, the most divided one in the fandom. Because we can all agree that the first minute is some of the best original content from wtFOCK in season 3, but the last minute of it, is something we're all trying to avoid whenever we see the clip or the episode.

Even though it's a short clip, there's still a lot of emotions floating around, not just for Robbe and Sander, but also for us watching. As they're sitting in the bar, being on a date, the song suddenly changes, and when I heard the first tone, I knew that I would end up feeling a lot different at the end of the clip, than I did at the beginning. Because from that moment, you could already hear it, that something was coming, that the night would end differently from what we were expecting, because the song has a certain sadness to it, almost a melancholy.

I will never get over the sight of seeing Robbe and Sander look so in love, how they were touching, kissing and just looking at each other, like it was just the two of them and no one else. Because without any dialogue they were able to convince us all, that the love between was only getting stronger and more powerful, and they did all of that with just their body language and facial expressions. Robbe has never looked more in love, and for him to be so open with Sander out in public, is so amazing to see, just to see the development, that Robbe has gone through to come to this point, and he has only continued with that growth since season 3 ended.

The way they're grabbing onto each other's hair, how they're getting closer and more passionate, is just a sign of how much they want to be with each other. Their feelings are so strong, and because they feel like that, they need to hold onto it, just to be sure that it's not a dream, that they have found each other. And for some reason, it feels like so much more to see Robbe and Sander kiss each other, while the instrumental part of the song is playing in the background. In that moment I felt like a look, a picture, says more than a million words, because whenever I look at Robbe and Sander being in love, I have a hard time describing it, because all you really need to do, is to just look at them, in order to feel everything they're feeling for each other.

I refuse to believe that it was a coincidence, that wtFOCK chose this song for this part of the clip. Not only is the song called "Two Men in Love", which is symbolic because Robbe and Sander are two men in love, but the message behind the song is also so fitting for the clip and the overall message of season 3. With the song and its music video, the artist wanted to show support to the unabashed universal love, that you shouldn't be embarrassed or feel ashamed of the person that you are, or the person that you love. Because love is universal, and there is no right or wrong way when it comes to it, everyone deserves it no matter what. And that alone is enough to make my heart skip a beat and form tears in my eyes, because it really shows how much thought wtFOCK put into the choice of music for this scene, and how everything somehow seems connected.

As their date continues, as the song starts to play in the background, the intimacy and the intensity between them grows. And just before Robbe and Sander leave the bar together, you can hear the following lyrics:

If I asked you now

Will you be my prince?

Will you lay down your armour

And be with me forever?

The lyrics carry so much meaning, because there's so many emotions behind them. Even though Robbe and Sander had their troubles in the beginning, there's no doubt that they have found that one person, who they can be completely honest with, the person they don't need to pretend with. Robbe and Sander have laid down their armour, because now they don't need to hide themselves anymore or their feelings, because they know that the love between them would never disappear, that they will be with together forever. They have such a unique bond, because of the intense, passionate and caring love, that they share, which comes through in this clip.

I have a hard time understanding why some people can't see the love between them, why some people think that the love between Robbe and Sander is wrong. Because as the message behind the song tell us, love is universal, everybody deserves it and there's no right or wrong way when it comes to loving somebody else. People shouldn't have to experience what Robbe and Sander did, no body deserves to go through what they did, because of the love they share with another person. It's so heart-breaking to think about, and I think that's one of the reasons why, everyone has such a hard time watching the whole clip.

With the song, I think wtFOCK wanted to make a point, and somehow show a contrast between what we were hearing in the background with the song, and what was happening in front of us. Because the lyrics don't reflect was is happening with Robbe and Sander in the clip, instead the song feels like a comment or a statement about the whole situation. As the clip takes a different turn than excepted, you can hear the following lyrics:

I feel real

I love you, love you

I love you, love you

This part of the clip, the assault, truly breaks my heart, and whenever I do listen to the song, I can't seem to get the image out Robbe and Sander out of my head. The lyrics don't match the pictures, but maybe that's the contrast wtFOCK wanted, that sometimes reality isn't always what we want it to be. But at the same time, the song also speaks for Robbe and Sander, for example when they sing "There's a strange love inside / It's getting louder and louder…" or when they keep singing "I love you". For me, this is the most heartbreaking part of the clip, to see Robbe and Sander be in that situation, to get kicked and screamed at, while they keep repeating "I love you" over and over again. That just adds something to the whole situation, that makes it unbearable to watch.

It's difficult to look apart from what happened with the assault, and the song will always be linked to that scene, but maybe it's possible to find some sort of comfort in the song, its lyrics and the message behind it, because that also helps us to understand why wtFOCK chose it for this particular scene. Because there's a reason behind it, and I think they wanted to show the darkness of our reality, that something like this actually happens, but with the song they also wanted to let us know, that no one should have the power to decide who we can love. wtFOCK wanted to send out a message, not only revealing  one if the truths about the world we're living in, but also that you shouldn't feel any less, because other people want you to, and I think that message not only speaks for this scene, but also for season 3 in general.

For me, this clip awoke a lot of emotions and I was left with a feeling of my heart breaking into a million pieces, because it seemed like sadness, sorrow and pain was the only feelings that were left in me, after the clip ended. But I also felt anger and frustration, because I had a hard time understanding that this was our reality, that it actually happens in our world, as nobody deserves to get treated that way, because of the person they love. I know this experience left its marks on Robbe and Sander, and I wished they gave us a clip during season 3 where they talked about everything that happened that night. But in some way, wtFOCK gave us that, because as we saw during wtFOCKDOWN, Robbe and Sander are now trying to deal with it together, they're trying to not let it stop them from living their lives, because there will also be people who are narrow-minded, but that doesn't mean you have to make your world smaller.