#xerx's smash headcanon

[xerxestexastoast]

according to an old Famitsu interview with Sakurai about Ganondorf:

"Ah, yes. I've gotten many complaints about Ganondorf. Why doesn't he use his sword more? Why isn't he as powerful as he is in Zelda? Well, when I decided to add him in Super Smash Brothers, of course he was a late addition included only because his physical appearance was easy enough to model swap over Captain Falcon. So I couldn't do as much justice as I wanted with him, but I worried people would be upset if I left out such an important and striking character. Ganondorf is somewhat of a contradiction---in Smash Brothers, he's both powerful, yet sometimes comes across as a little worn down, a little tired. In a way, he was greatly influenced by my late father who passed away shortly beforehand. As a child, I viewed my father as a strict-disciplinarian, a man I both feared and respected. But when I grew up, I realized my father, that man I was saw as a powerful figure---a king---was often out of breath, and limped along. I wondered why I feared him so much? And in a way, that's how I've developed Ganondorf as a character. Personally I'm quite close to the character, and thus I find it difficult to bring myself to change him too much."

What the fuck? This literally slots right into my headcanon of Smash as taking place in an ultimate super-afterlife. Of COURSE Ganondorf is a tired old man, he has the entire weight of BOTH his timelines on his shoulders! Imagine your universe finally fizzling out such that your spirit can rest, and then the instant you wake you realize you have two sets of contradictory memories, and both of them suck. He was ALREADY a tired old man in WW, of course those memories carry over!

He tried getting back into his conniving scheming habits in order to maybe seize some semblance of power but Tabuu's betrayal broke him. He just kinda Chilled during 4. especially since it was TP Link and Zelda who offered him that grace in Brawl.

The reason he switches back to his OoT design in Ultimate is because it's the youngest he's ever felt since Melee; maybe even better! Which design he's using corresponds directly to how Tired Old Man he is during which era of Smash. Beard = Tired. The reason we can't play as WW Ganon is because he only slips into that form when he's too tired to give a shit even about Smash.

The man loves a good spar, though, of course he'd love to try out fighting both his old enemies and total strangers on a fair battlefield. You know who else likes a good spar? Kirby. Samus. Every Pokémon ever. Super Fucking Mario.

(Headcanon context notes: Smashers and their pals can just do that in my headcanon btw. they're dead, they can present as any age from their history.

The Smashers have existed in the Eternal Nexus for a handful of centuries of paradise and/or healing before establishing Smash, so Ganondorf has had some time to recover from the Everything that is his canon experiences.)

[midnightfloats]

- Batty’s Headcanons - 

Batty’s Headcanons

 Batty:

Headcanon #1

          Batty is afraid of clowns. Ever since Batty got bitten and attacked by Pennywise, even happy clowns cause her to feel fear. Batty gets really nervous around them and faints when she’s near them. Batty hates the circus and makes sure to never go because that’s how scared she is. Batty knows they aren’t Pennywise but she deludes herself into thinking all clowns are Pennywise in disguise. Pennywise knows Batty is afraid of clowns and appears to her in this form constantly. The child has frequent nightmares about clowns and is unable to sleep most nights because of it. Batty has also been known to attack clowns with a bat and this has gotten her in big trouble numerous times. 

Headcanon #2

Batty has fake teeth. Batty has been losing teeth regularly, but her agent doesn’t want her to have teeth gaps in her movies. Her agent claims teeth gaps aren’t cute nor will people want to see any imperfections when it comes to their favorite child actress. Batty sometimes removes them as a prank towards people that have no idea she has them.

Headcanon #3

Teen Batty: Batty will legally change her name to Batty when she’s old enough. Batty hates her real name because that’s who her fans know her as. ‘Dana’ has become an identity or a role to play while ‘Batty’ is the real her. Batty separates the two names and one day she will give up being Dana to be Batty forever. 

Headcanon #4

Teen Batty:  Batty will quit being an actress when she is in her 20’s. Batty by that time will have made enough money to live comfortably and she would get tired of being an actress. Giving up fame would make Batty happy, though Batty is happy being an actress sometimes, she just hates the fame that comes with it. Batty will give it up one day and she will live in the country somewhere where nobody from Hollywood can find her to pester her. 

Headcanon #5

Batty doesn’t know the difference between salt and sugar. Batty only knows that they are both white grain substances and she mixes the two up all the time. Batty has been known to put salt in coffee and sugar in soup. Because she can’t tell the difference between the two, people should be wary of what Batty uses to season her food.

Headcanon #6

Batty looks to the left when she lies.

Headcanon #7 

Batty doesn’t get much sleep.

Headcanon #8

Batty has Aspergers and a learning disability. 

Headcanon #9

Batty isn’t very good at math, but she’s pretty good at English

Headcanon #10

Batty’s reading has the reading level of a Middle Schooler.

Headcanon #11

Batty plays the ukulele and the guitar. Batty has been playing both since she was five years old and she can play songs like House of the Rising Sun and I Wanna Hold Your Hand. Other songs are Purple Haze and Wish You Were Here. But she is very self-conscious about her guitar/ukulele playing. Batty doesn’t think she’s any good, so she practises by herself and away from other people. She also doesn’t like singing in front of people, but will sing in front of a camera.

Headcanon #12

Batty can remember her dreams

Headcanon#13

Batty wears her portal ring on her left middle finger. The ring feels more comfortable on Batty’s middle finger than on her ring finger. This is because the ring is too big for her ring finger. 

Headcanon #14

Batty has a deep fear of being abandoned. Batty’s birth parents were mostly absent when she was younger and they are still absent now. Batty didn’t have many friends before coming to Derry, and even then she is picked on by her classmates. Thankfully, Batty made friends in Derry, but they are older than she is. The child is always afraid these friends will leave her. Every time she makes a mistake, Batty freaks out and apologizes because she doesn’t want people to hate her. Loneliness is an emotion felt frequently by Batty. At all times, Batty is afraid of waking up and finding that nobody wants her around anymore and the thoughts have been getting worse and worse. It is a huge source of stress for Batty, but people have been helping her with it. 

Headcanon #15

Batty has acted in six movies and she is currently filming one. The movies she has acted in are: Lawless Katherine, Good Ship Lollipop, Curly, Family Times, Cinder Ella, and Dynasty. The one she is acting in at the moment is Little Princess

Update: Batty has completed the filming for the movie and will act in one in February 1991.

Headcanon #16

Batty can cook a few things because her parents are never around. Batty can cook macaroni n cheese, ramen, rice, eggs, and bacon. The child is teaching herself how to make pancakes and is saving up for a waffle iron. Batty often cooks for herself, but the maids make things for her. Some of Batty’s recipes have something added to them. Batty can also make omurice and macaroni with scrambled eggs in it. Sometimes Batty adds steak and garlic powder to her macaroni and cheese.

Headcanon #17

Batty has separation anxiety. Batty has been abandoned by people/friends numerous times, causing the child to develop a fear of being alone or of being separated from somebody. Batty will frequently beg people not to leave her even if they’re not going anywhere, and she has also been known to cling onto people if they have to leave. Some people don’t know how to deal with this and they get concerned for her well being. Batty also clings to her real parents when they have to leave her and she has mental breakdowns when they forget her during a holiday. Their neglect has contributed to her feelings of loneliness and anxiety. 

Headcanon #18

Batty’s texting style is informal and she uses emojis when she texts.

Headcanon #19

Batty has a bodyguard, a stylist, and an agent. The agent’s name is Mike Miland, the bodyguard’s name is Griff Garland, and the stylist’s name is Darla Kirk. 

Headcanon #20

Batty has a smartphone and two flip phones and a new home phone: Batty has a Samsung Galaxy, a DoCoMo SH-11C (pastel pink), a MOTOROLA MICROTAC 9800X, and a pager. As for the home phone, it is a wired home phone with caller i.d. It is relatively new. 

Headcanon #21

Batty carries a bag around with her. Inside, she carries: A lighter, two cell phones, a pager, a pack of pens, a laser pen, bag of cheerios, container of macaroni, her cassette player, cassette tapes, headphones, a change of clothes, a flashlight, and a first aid kit.

 Headcanon #22

Batty drinks energy drinks before bed so she can’t fall asleep because she has horribly vivid nightmares.

 Headcanon #23

Batty has the ‘power’ of transparency. Ever since Batty entered a portal shot out of her broken ring, she has been able to turn transparent. It is a very bad thing and that means she is slowly disappearing, but it will kill her when she is 12 years old.

Headcanon #24

Batty has eleven pets: a frog named Freddie Mercury, three cats named Bats, Mango, and Jester, two rats named Rattimus and Cheese, two hermit crabs named Xerxes and Iago, a male rabbit named Strawberry, a dog named Skittles, and a chipmunk named Nibbles. 

 Headcanon #25

Batty’s ninth birthday was on 7/19/90. For her birthday, she got: a rabbit, a Tamagotchi, a 3DS, the Hobbit book, two teddy bears, a Polaroid camera, lipstick, a backpack with bat wings, coloring books, a pocket knife, a doll, a Care Bear, two bikes, a painting, Power Rangers, a train set, a plush cat, dino plush, a toy truck, a rubber duck, a watch, a blanket, a wind up car, a Neopet. A bat plush. 

Headcanon #26

Batty’s injury history: Batty has been bitten in the shoulder and she has had a chunk of flesh ripped out. Batty has had a rock bashed against her head. Batty has had her legs bitten up and burned. Batty has had her arm and hand broken. She’s been stabbed twice. She has been shot at. Batty has been smacked. She has been Force choked. Batty has been kicked in the stomach and face, she’s been drowned in a special circumstance, she saw four people die. Shards of glass have been lodged in her arm. She has had Its claws dug into her sides until she bleeds. Her head has been smashed against the floor. Batty’s hands have been burned. Batty has been attacked (but not hurt) with an ax. She has also been hit in the head and legs with a metal bat. Batty was kicked in the chest and had her throat cut open. 

 Headcanon #27

Batty runs away when she can’t deal with her problems.

 Headcanon #28

Batty tells people she loves them frequently because she’s afraid the universe will kill her and cause her to fade away. Batty knows that at any time, the universe can detect her presence. Before she goes to bed, she texts people she loves them before going to bed in case she doesn’t wake up.

 Headcanon #29

Batty’s Fears: Clowns. Large dogs. Heights. Drowning. Nightmares. Not waking up. Being abandoned. Making mistakes. Being yelled at. Dying. Being a nuisance. Being hated. Getting hurt. Needles. Sid The Bully (no longer a fear). Not being able to control her power/ring. Fading away. 

Headcanon #30

Batty thinks she’s a burden to her friends and family. Ever since Batty realized she made her real parents unhappy, she has been very insecure and believes she lacks the ability to make anybody happy.

Headcanon #30

Batty has a beach house in Weston-super-Mare in Britain. It is located in North Somerset. Batty sometimes goes there during the summer and once a week at least once a month. It is more like a cottage, but Batty really enjoys going there. Her parents have a boat too they take out on the ocean or a nearby lake such as the Marine Lake.

Headcanon #31 

For the Christmas of 1990, Batty received: stickers, a yellow flower, and many other things. She spent the day with her friends and family.   

Headcanon #32

For Christmas, Batty handed out rocks. She has handed out: 19

Headcanon #33

There are some foods Batty likes. Batty likes: brownies, strawberry shortcake, strawberry and vanilla ice cream, root beer, cheese, and peanuts. 

Headcanon #34

There are some foods Batty dislikes. Batty dislikes: beans, caramel, and tea. 

Headcanon #35

Batty has a few legal guardians in North Park. Those legal guardians are Stan Marsh, Clyde Donovan, Kyle Broflovski, and Kenny McCormick 

Headcanon #36

Batty went to Japan in 1987 in April. During her month long trip to Japan, Batty went to Tokyo, Kyoto, Osaka, Kamakura, and Nagoya. Batty spent the most time in Kyoto at a film location. During her trip, Batty got many souvenirs including a few kimono, a couple of dolls, and a fan. While there, Batty met a lot of other Japanese film stars and some animators. While there, Batty fell in love with the food and culture, but she still doesn’t like tea despite trying macha.

[xerxestexastoast]

smash headcanon #5

Bayonetta’s more modest versions of her hair attacks aren’t just a cosmetic adjustment for the kids; she’s actually holding back. It’s canon that Bayo has pretty much slain the gods of her world, and using that much power in a fun sparring match just isn’t fair. You can even interpret the patches in-universe: Bayo was so freaking strong that she had to discuss with other Smashers how much to hold back and then practice at that specific level of effort, and only through continuous tweaks did they finally make her a balanced fighter. She’s also fully aware of Gomorrah’s destructive power and WILL NOT use all of her hair to summon her demons. She may be OP, but she has enough class not to subject her opponents to that.

[xerxestexastoast]

smash headcanon #1

Bayonetta is Babysitter in Chief. She’s good with the little ones. She’s like that cool aunt that lets you do whatever you want.

[xerxestexastoast]

smash headcanon #4

There are Lunar Wing dreamcatchers in every dorm room, and three in the room where Darkrai sleeps

[xerxestexastoast]

smash headcanon #3

The World of Trophies is also known as the “Nexus”, and it’s the ultimate afterlife that many multiverses funnel into. The space in this realm is infinite, allowing it to simulate any and all mortal worlds its residents hail from, as well as worlds they didn’t.

[xerxestexastoast]

smash headcanon #2

There are a lot of good cooks amongst the Smashers and their friends and former foes, but far and away the best one is Fawful. He has cooking down to a science, and as a mad scientist he’s well equipped for the job. Unfortunately, his foul temper and unwillingness to cooperate with a team makes him unpleasant to work with, so he only cooks for the Smashers occasionally.

There are also wild conspiracy theories about whether Fawful is trying to poison the Mario Bros., but then again the World of Trophies is the afterlife and everyone’s “dead” anyway, so it’s mostly just the kids being goofy.