#y'alls here we go some bruno content

[maruzzewrites]

45 for my favorite Zipper Capo?

45. “You don’t even know how lucky you are. I protect you and provide for you. Don’t act so ungrateful.” 

Content warnings: yandere content, obsessive behavior, possessive behavior, disembodiment/amputation, mental/emotional abuse and manipulation, idk what else guys you tell me.

His fingers are slender as he handles your own with gentleness. You wince at the sight of the contact, but you don’t want to pretend to feel it on your skin, in your nerves. Not because you’re tired or in need of some sort of superiority over his treatment, but because your brain would give out if you acknowledged the reality of your situation.

The first time he decided to detach your limbs, it was when he decided you were his to take. You knew Bruno’s occupation and his affiliations, but people all around you were quick to reassure you he wasn’t one of those thugs, one of those lowlifes who drag people in the mud just to steal a few bucks. No, he was one of the good ones, a mobster who could and would help those in need. You believed them then, and now you have to stomach the regrets. That is, when you get to have a stomach attached to your body.

Bruno, as you came to understand a while after you first met him, was a lonely man. Despite his charisma and his network, he was incredibly alone; the years spent, since childhood, in the grim world of Italy’s criminal underbelly weren’t an attractive quality for friends and lovers alike. Everyone was ready to be helped, but no one was willing to risk their safety to stay at the side of someone who put their life on the line every day, especially if it wasn’t even to be virtuous. And you were the same, just the same; young, and simply in need, you were not above begging him to help your family and then walk away when he asked you to consider him as something more than a mere do-gooder.

He didn’t appreciate, of course. Your current predicament is a blatant hint about that fact; spiritless on the bed, against the headboard so that you wouldn’t collapse for the lack of support from your legs or arms. Your lower limbs lay down on the floor, near the man who was occupied with one of your hands on his lap, careful to spread the color of the nail polish evenly on each finger. Your nails – long, but rounded, just as he liked – are simple in design, with the white tip neatly contrasting with the pink of the rest.

It is an out of body experience, seeing your own arms resting peacefully on Bruno’s legs as he shoots you furtive, quick glances now and again to check if you are still focused on him. And you are, you couldn’t do anything besides fixing your eyes on the show in front of you, both mundane and macabre, but disgustingly expected at this point. Your stomach doesn’t even squirm at the thought or the realization that this abnormal situation became your routine.

With a finishing touch, Bruno returns the little brush back in its rightful container and looks over his work. His thumb, fondly, caresses your knuckles and traces their dips with domesticity, sneaking his fingertips under your hand, over your palm, to rise it from his lap and leave a delicate kiss on the back of it. His eyes raise to meet yours, with a sweet smile to complete the picture of a perfect man who wants nothing but the best for you. Coincidentally and conveniently, he believes that meant he gets to make choices for you if it means you were right besides him, no matter how much you are unable to do otherwise.

“Do you like it?” His voice comes smooth, deep, but never reassuring. He turns the arm around to show off the refined color painted on your nails. You squints, not to look at it better, but simply because the sight of the perverse scene in front of you; Bruno, the portrait of serenity and class, legs crossed with elegance, as he offers you the view of perfectly manicured nails shining under the warm light in the room. The arm lays limp in his hands, cutting abruptly a little after the elbow. It makes your stomach turn, empty and heavy in your body.

“No.” It’s a simple enough answer and you know it will have its consequences, but you can’t really care right now. You know Bruno won’t physically hurt you, for he’s too kind, but also too smart. Giving you ammo to feed your hate is a misstep in his attempts to weight down on your mind with guilt, and pressure, and doubt. His eyes flutter open behind his long lashes and the blue of his eyes has a cold flavor to it, like frigid waves of a stormy sea.

“I like it,” he states as he turns the limb around again, watching over his work with fondness and confusion. All fake, pretend, all so incredibly infuriating. The sensation of burning resentment grows in your chest, but it’s suddenly suffocated by the anxiety over the stern look he gives you once he shifts his focus on you. It’s not a hit or a blow, but it feels like resting warm skin on the surface of steel, exposed to the wind and the snow. Bruno’s words never cease to sound silky, but they gain resolution and authority, “There must be something you like about this.”

This, you are aware, refers to the circumstance. The living situation you are forced to carry on by force and convenience, as Passione isn’t a forgiving force if you decide to cross even the lowest of capos. You know Bruno is beloved by mobsters and civilians alike, so you refrain from running away because you’d meet too many difficulties if you attempt to leave him behind. That’s how he dragged you in this life the first time, too, with charming words spoken with a silver tongue and a net made of social pressure from those around you.

You can’t leave, but you can avoid biting your tongue. Bruno grimaces each and every time you don’t bow your head to his demands, always masked with questions and encouragements. But you are aware his patience would run out one day, and you are toeing the deadline of that moment. Luckily, today he still holds in all the cruelty that allowed him to climb ranks in a ruthless syndicate. For now, Bruno is still the serious, charming and wicked gentleman that sweetens his deals with veiled threats.

“You don’t even know how lucky you are,” he approaches you with poise in his steps, the click of his shoes too loud in the silence of the room as you refuse to meet his eyes. You feel him rest your arms on the bed, near you, and then his hands slide on your back as he lets you gently settle on the plush duvet. Your head is on the pillow now, and this allows him to make eye contact before you turn away. Not even a sneer or a groan gets past his lips, only chilly resignation, “I protect you and provide for you.”

And he did, he does, he will. That’s bitter on your tongue, that knowledge that he sends your family all the necessities and the protection someone would need in the worst neighborhoods of Naples. Crooks and delinquents can’t touch your loved ones until Bruno gets to bask in your presence. Your heart winces in your chest, then it hurts, as if constricted by something painfully tight. You feel blue, all of the sudden, and you don’t know why. Bruno’s hands meets your cheek to turn your head towards him with tenderness.

“Don’t act so ungrateful.” The words are harsh, but the tone is melancholic. His eyes tell a story of loneliness, of a solitary child who could never let anyone get too close if he wanted to preserve his own feelings. But you are here now, for him, for you, ready to mend past and present so that you can move on together. It’s sweet, but bitter and sour around your tongue, and his blue eyes wash over you to the point you feel your heartbeat slow against your ribs.

But that moment is shattered by Bruno himself, who reminds you your bane as he reattaches your limbs. When the bones, the flesh, the skin realigns, it feels like tearing and sewing at the same time. It burns, but it’s icy, and suddenly you feel the pressure of his finger tips on your arm. Your resentment flashes again and you can’t feel pity for the man anymore before he secures your wrists to the bed with slick experience.

Your emotions circle between anger, fear and pity; one day, he won’t even need to speak, before you succumb, and he will be the only place where you will be able to forget all of it.

[thestudyfeels]

🎨 Graphic made by @indiaisstudying​: India is brilliant my pals, and I recommend checking her out for studyblr/artblr inspiration. My girl tHIRIVES.

The singular takeaway from this post: Do a creative binge. Much productive than a Netflix binge. Period.

Two months ago, I reached my peak when I coined the term ‘bood day’ (a bad to good day, in my article How To Flip A Bad Day By 180°). Today, puppies and kittens, I present to you— a creative binge.

*crickets chirping, that one dude in the audience scratches his nose and turns away* 

…This one actually works but okay, we get it, y'all are bitches. But gonna do my job anyway– if you're a creator reading this, please do a creative binge at least once every two weeks.

I started doing these binges two months ago, and I've seen a VAST improvement in my creative energy. I feel my commercial voice coughing and saying hello to the mic, so before I start listing side-effects for a sponsored pill, let's dive into the basics. 

🍵 Quick PSA — 

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Ever questioned your life, experienced writer's block, painter’s pain or blogger’s… block? (Narrator: aaaand she's back to advertising.) A creative binge helps deal with fixing exactly that.

“A creative binge is based off the equation of quality in = quality out.”

A lot of creators feel that they're supposed to magically create out of their head, and that's just ridiculous. It's ludicrous considering you don't know shit, read shit, do shit and watch shit.

Even to write fiction, my pal, you'll have to expose yourself to the world to know its ways, read great books and take tips (not to mention stock up on coffee, and prepare to cry a lot) before you start cranking out the pages. Everything you create is ultimately inspired by the Ways Of The World. (And that's a fantastic novel title)

So in short, you’ve got to consume content, to make content. And in a creative binge, you conscious choose content that'll help you create. Genius, I know!

Okay, but what if I'm not a creator?

Brilliant question! Wanna become more valuable and leave the people you interact with better? Take a creative binge.

Allow me an elaboration: Take a janitor and a neurosurgeon. The said janitor is paid much less than the neurosurgeon. Why is that? Is the neurosurgeon a better person? That's debatable. Is the janitor less efficient at his work? Again, debatable. The primal reason lies in the neurosurgeon acquiring more valuable skills than the janitor. Society rewards them by paying more since there are less folks who can do what the neurosurgeon does.

To recap: In order to be indispensable in the role you play (whatever it is, a student, calligrapher, CEO of the Janitor Club), you HAVE to become valuable. Grow your curiosity & know more than yo’ buddies (also bring more value than anybody else). And to become valuable, you consume value. Tada!

(And if you still ain't convinced, I'll pull out the Netflix card. You'd really rather watch shows? Or binge YouTube? Than learn a new skill, or develop existing ones? Question your priorities, my friend. Victims love entertainment, victors love learning.)

Cool, you're joining in then! Not that creative binge is NOT an entertainment binge. It's a value providing binge. What you ‘consume’ has to bring you something in return— whether that's creative inspiration, motivation or skills. *Swing arms* yup! We’re one gay, productive household. Someone remind Hallie to buy the groceries though, the Cheerios are going mouldy.

By my dictionary, a creative binge is a slot of time, 1½ to 3 hours I'd say, when you watch/read/listen to some good stuff.  Basically, binge content. 

THE 101 OF A CREATIVE BINGE 

🌿 Basics:

I conduct one every week (usually Wednesday mornings), lasting around 1½ to 2 hours.

I'll also keep a notepad and a pen nearby, to take notes and jot ideas as they come. Again, this is NOT an entertainment binge, even though it's a chill job.

Sometimes I'll get passive things done (like wiping my desk, eating breakfast and taking out textbooks) while watching. We maximize our time. 

🌿 What Do I Watch: 

The stuff I watch falls into 3 categories: creative/humor (for inspiration), business/skills (for skills) & motivation (for, um, motivation). Fair warning though, a lot of the stuff these folks make overlap, but that's alright. This is just a rough demarcation. 

Creative/Humor: some YesTheory, maybe some MacDoesIt, sprinkle in some Ryan Higa, perhaps an episode of a show with an amazing script, some stand-up comedy from my favorites. Or maybe trash that and just watch Sherlock. (Geez, Netflix, I hate you, I love you.)

Skills: Gary Vee, some artist channels, that random video on how to thrift shop even though I don't shop.

Motivation: Be Inspired, Tom Bilyeu, Mel Robbins and random videos which look nice.

🌿 What Do I Listen To: 

Oof, I love music tremendously! If you're a pal, you know it's time to RUN when I come around being like, “soo, I was wondering what's your favourite–”.

Yet, during a creative binge, I'll only listen to stuff that 1) inspires me, or 2) is creative in a way I can't explain. Some recommendations! 

Hype music:

The Score

NF

Imagine Dragons

Creative music:

Billie Eilish

Lana Del Rey

Sleeping At Last

Lorde

Conan Gray

Harry Styles 

🌿 What Do I Read: 

Usually the book that I'm reading at that point if I'm being lazy.

POETRY: It's my belief, but poetry is a writer's most powerful device. There's a novel to be said in a simple sonnet.

FICTION: I dig great fiction. PS, please read (and sob over) Away Childish Things, by @letteredlettered. It changed me as a person, changed my entire perspective about kids. I'm much kinder and softer now, and my pimples are gone. I'll literally never get over drarry too, so thanks lettered, love you.

ARTICLES: Bookmarked psychology, productivity & fitness articles on Medium. Maybe check out James Clear's & Gary Vee’s blog for new posts.

Because I wanna drive this home, here's what I did in my last creative binge as a concrete example —

Care to Note that:

All of the stuff I consume is pre-planned.

I add videos throughout the week to my Creative Binge playlist on YouTube, download albums from Amazon Music and articles for offline reading.

DON'T leave this to the last moment, you'll more likely pick entertainment vs learning then. 

Watched–

Why I'm done trying to be "man enough"

Redecorating my room 2017 (I wanna decorate my room this year so)

How to Squat Properly (I’m trying lmao)

Giving a 9-Year-Old Her Dream Job for 24hrs!! (I stan YesTheory so much)

How To NOT Be A Starving Artist (A mood. I love Sorelle)

Couple more, I could go on & on, but you get me.

Listened–

Every song on YouTube by Bruno Major

Born to die: paradise version (album) by Lana Del Rey 

Read–

Articles from James Clear's blog — (x) (x)

Articles from Gary Vee’s blog — (x) (x)

HIIT workouts for beginners

All of this birthed–

Ideas for future articles, titled: How To Be Great & Solomon Letters #2: Question Your Faith, Not Your Dreams, among others.

A small poem about faith– posted on my IG, check it out!

New content ideas, like value chains (upcoming!)

Bunch of other small rants for everyday posting

Some business and life advice that might be useful later.

Gotta say goodbye now! (literally too... but post about it coming on 12th so wait for it) Try this one out, and let me know how your binge goes (tag it with #team conquer). Mine usually end with a bucketful of philo notes, a recharged left (right? psychology? idk) brain, and a fresh perspective towards the rest of my week. 

This is the #1 strategy I've adopted to sustain creative energy when it's sapped all around by negativity and school & I promise it helps. No side effects, no sponsored pills needed. Thanks for reading!

Related: How To Get Back Into The Creative Process (if you're in a blogger's block or experiencing painter's pain)

Have something to say? I treasure all feedback! If this post inspired you to do something, or you wanna throw some love/constructive criticism at me— hop into my ask box, or reply to this post itself!

Thanks for dropping by! Major articles, like this one, come out every Thursday! Join my taglist by to read them when they do. I also post daily wins, journal entries, rants & photos of my plant babies throughout the week, so follow me if you’re into conquering life. I vow to be the loudest cheerleader. ✧

Sending you love and good energy, talk soon. 

Nandini 💌 (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ 

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