Tumgik
#yaya i miss you. please come visit me in my dreams. please please please
drusic · 8 months
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october is here and i am not ready lmfao
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Swapfell: A version of Underswap AU that has been heavily inspired by the dark concept of Underfell AU. Swapfell [Pacifist Route]
==Chara==
The fallen child. Wears a jumpsuit. Default items: Knife & bandage
==Temmie==
(Translator’s note: not too sure if Temmie’s manner of speech would change completely or be kept the same as the one in the original game.)
Tem: "HOI! I’m Temmie.
U R new to the RUINS, roight? U muss b so…CONFOOSED! This place really scary YAYA! TEmmie helps you get outta here. First…try dodging these bullets! They gonna hurt U!”
-When hit: Tem: “HOIVS! Is hUman okay? Tem sorry, Tem threw them too fast”.
-When you successfully dodge the bullets: Tem: “Hooman done rly well YAYA! But this is the simplest kind of attack…Outside the RUINS, there’s goin to b so many scarier things… HO…HOIVS!? He…ASGORE is comin! Tem sorry, Hooman, Tem gotta go NAO!” (Temmie disappears to the ground after jumping up like a fox)
==Asgore==
A black goat. Wears a robe. Wields magic.
Asgore: “Finally, a human has fallen down.
It’s been a very long time since the last time this has happened… The throne made for the King of all monsters…With the human SOUL, I can finally fulfil my dream of claiming it mine! The Queen [Toriel] shall perish, and I will become the new ruler of the underground! Human, I must take you alive to the castle, and to the Queen. There’s no point in trying to escape from me, human. After all, the only way out from this place is past me, which would lead you straight to the castle. But first! I’ll have to see if you are worthy of being taken. Outside the RUINS dwells much greater danger, and if you can’t even look after yourself in this place, then…there’s no point in keeping someone as weak as you alive. I have important errands to run ahead, so survive and reach the end of the RUINS by yourself! Oh, I’ll leave you with this cell phone just in case, but I sure hope that I’ll never need to hear you call me for help.”
[RUINS, act 1]
(*The shadow of the RUINS wraps the air. You are filled with DETERMINATION.)
(The puzzles inside the RUINS have been destroyed. The broken parts of the puzzles are scattered across the paths, leaving a huge mess.) (The walls and the pillars have cracks on them)
==Dummy==
(Temmie reappears) Tem: “T-Tem is sorry! Tem didn’t try to run away without U, Human. Tem just too scared of…him…N-Nevermind that! Look! That’s a DUMMY, YAYA! Try talking to the Dummy, Human!
[MERCY] Tem: “uuuhm, Tem thinks this not a bad idea!” [ACT -> TALK] Tem: “Human well done!! If U talk to monsters like this, Tem is sure monsters will let Human go!
W…What if they DON’T let Human go?? …WeL…Maybe Human can th-threaten them…? With the Kn-Knife…? Beat them up…? O-or…Gib dem MoNs???
U see, that’s the kind of place this is, Human. Even tho it’s not good and U might not like it, U will habe to do those kinds of things…”
[RUINS, act 2]
Tem: “Sorry Human, Tem has to go back to where Human had fallen down for now. Don’t worry, Tem sure Human will B safe! The puzzles in the RUINS hab been destroyed by Asgore, so there will B nothing else around than some monsters, YayA! BTW, thank U Human…for trusting Tem!!!”
(*Whenever you walk across the paths, paved with scattered pieces of broken pillars and walls, the crackling sound echoes through the hallway. The thought of your journey ahead fills you with DETERMINATION.)
(Monster Candies and ‘G’) *It’s a note from Temmie: -HOI! It’s Tem. Tem forgot to gib Human these! They will help Human, YAyA!
*There are 3 Monster Candies and 400G. Will you take them? Y/N
(Moving the talking rock) Rock: “Nuh-uh, sorry pardoner. Ain’t gonna work, I ain’t movin an inch from this spot. Some nasty folk glued me down so that the traps dun’t move. Who that folk is, you askin’? Well, I’m preey sure you know just who.”
(The SAVE point near the mouse hole) * Although the walls are full of holes, the lone mouse inside the hole still intrigues you. Your curiosity fills you with DETERMINATION.)
[By inspecting the mouse hole repeatedly, a special dialogue script will be triggered.] *…? There’s something shining inside the mouse hole.
(Translator’s note: Seems like the author hasn’t decided what that special something would be yet.)
==Hapstablook==
Hapstablook: ........................................ ............................................... (Why are they still just standing there?) .............................................. *There’s a ghost crying, and they are blocking your way. *Will you move them forcibly? Y/N
Y -> *Here comes Hapstablook.
*[Check] *[Flirt] *[Threaten] *[Compliment]
[Compliment] *You try to encourage Hapstablook by complimenting them enthusiactically.
Hapstablook: “w…what?”
*Hapstablook seems to feel a little better.
[Compliment the second time] *You tell Hapstablook that they have a beautiful voice.
Hapstablook: “Gee, I know. Thank you so much…In return, I will let you hear more of my lovely voice.”
*Your compliments seem to have lifted Hapstablook’s mood.
*Hapstablook wants to show you something.
Hapstablook: “Wait, hold on a moment! Look at this! I call this ‘StarBlook’.”
*Hapstablook is excitedly anticipating your (kind) response.
Hapstablook: “Ah, of course! I usually come to the RUINS to practice because there’s hardly anybody here… But today I met somebody FABULOUS! Oh, am I blocking your way? I will move away just for you, darling. I hope to see you later!”
(Grillby’s chain store)
*A collection of Fire Restaurant’s finest dishes! Please visit the main store if you liked tasting the samples. Fire Salad 15 G : A bowl of flames. It seems as if it would burn your insides when you swallow it. Wait, would it really? Heals 20 HP Fire Wine 50 G : A fancy bottle of flames. It glows beautifully, but it doesn’t seem as appetising... nor does it look safe to drink. But you still wonder what it would taste like. Heals MAX HP. If you drink it, your vision would become blurry and you go dizzy for 1 minute.
(The promotion sign) *Did you miss it? Fire restaurant promo sale down and to the right. We offer you the one and only chance to taste the popular dishes from Fire Restaurant at the lowest prices! Come have the ‘hottest’ dishes made by flames, for flames, of flames!
[Asgore’s HOME]
(*Seeing a small and worn out, yet majestic house in a place like this fills you with DERTERMINATION.)
Asgore: “I’m surprised that you have actually made it this far. Well, not really. I did destroy all the puzzles, after all. I honestly don’t understand why anyone would think it is necessary to have something as annoying as those puzzles. What’s the point of having them if everyone going through the RUINS is going to get killed by me? Anyways, human. Go to the first room to your right. You must rest so that you are in your best state when I present you to the Queen.”
[Check Mirror] *It’s you.
[Going down stairs without talking to Asgore] Asgore: “Go upstairs, if you want to stay alive. I have yet to remove the bombs and mines down here.”
“Know that I can lock you up anytime if I want, human. Just go to your room.”
“You are the hope of monsters and humans. I cannot let you go alone, for I should be the one that takes you to the castle.”
*You tell Asgore that you are going to go outside the RUINS by yourself.
Asgore: “…If that’s how you are going to behave, I will have to destroy the door. Then, you will be trapped here unless you finally decide to come with me. Now, go back to your room. This is an order.”
[The Door] Asgore: “You wish to go back home, don’t you? Ahead of this corridor lies the door to the rest of the underground. I’m going to destroy it. You won’t be able to run away from me then. Go back upstairs, human. Every human who falls down here never gets out alive. I’ve seen so many of them trying to escape, but they all have failed, and died.   Foolish human. If you go outside, the Queen…Toriel…will kill you. But if you let me take you to the castle, I can let you live on and I will protect you, once I become the King.
You don’t have the power to stop me! ... Even the Queen, Toriel, is yet to defeat me. If you truly wish to go outside, prove to me that you are strong enough to survive. Prove yourself by defeating me!
[Fighting Asgore]
*Asgore blocks your way! - Author’s note: the solution to this fight is very similar to the one from Undertale. You must fight to defeat him.
[After defeating Asgore] Asgore: “...You were…much stronger than I’ve thought... (Looks up at Chara) You… really want to go through that door…that much?”
[Attack] [>Mercy]
Asgore: “...Fine... Do whatever you want. There’s no way I can stop you at this rate. Go through. And meet her…Meet Toriel, the Queen.”
(Asgore stays sat in front of/near the door after letting Chara pass through)
[Last encounter with Temmie in the RUINS] Temmie: “AMAZING! U passed the door and didn’t even kill ASGORE! Human so cool…but…Tem is so….w-whateVeS!! Tem prOuds of human!! The outside gon b so cruel and scarier…but…Tem believes that Human can do what Tem couldn’t… N-NO! Human no need to feel pressure! Tem always gonna watch U… and helps U!! So Human, Dun’t Die!!!!”
[Way to Snowdin Town] *...? *There’s a camera in the bushes. It smells of gunpowder…?
==Papyrus==
He’s always smoking, with his one eye almost closed most of the times. He wears a black sleeveless shirt, a pair of white socks, and a pair of black Adidas slippers with 3 white lines across on each one of the pair. His bones are all yellow except for his skull. He sells Tortillas.
Papyrus: "Human. Don’t you know how to treat your new pal?
Just hand over your filthy wad of money, that’s all it takes.”
*You hand over your money to the mysterious being.
Papyrus: “...? What. That’s all you’ve got? Darn it, today’s the worst. Make sure you carry around some more next time, ya little snotface. Anyways, you are human, right? I can’t believe one actually had managed to come out from…there. I’m Papyrus. Papyrus the Skeleton. I’m supposed to be looking for humans, but…Ya know. I can’t really be bothered. I really don’t care what happens to this place as long as I get my money. But my brother… ‘Sans’, he’s a human-hunting maniac. He’s gonna be running down here yelling at any moment, I’m pretty sure.
Hey bucko, not that I care if you die or not, but how bout I hide you from him for a while? It’s not going to be for free, though. Maybe helping you like this will make it up for giving me all that money just now? Here, if you wanna make the deal, cross this bridge.”
(A giant boulder falls and destroys the bridge as both Papyrus and Chara crosses to the other side of the bridge)
*You feel streams of cold sweat running down your back.
Papyrus: “Oh, I haven’t told you about the traps, have I. There’s gonna be heaps more of these on the way. Quick, hide behind the sentry station, would ya.”
(You do just that)
“Sup, Sans.”
==Sans==
His clothes has the Delta Rune symbol on the left chest area. He also has the symbol on his pupils. There’s a long open crack above his left eye socket area, probably similar to the one Horrortale Sans has. Loves SANSdwiches (ba dum tss). Says ‘NGH-HEH HEH!’ as he laughs. His weapon is a scythe made of bones AND it looks like a bone (translator’s note: Not sure how that would work but that’s what it says).
SANS: "DON’T !!!!!!!!! ‘SUP’ ME, PAPYRUS!!!!!!!!!!!!
CAN’T YOU SEE THAT THE BRIDGE’S BEEN BROKEN? WAS IT YOU WHO’D TOUCHED THE TRAPS?! YOU IDIOT!!! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DO THE REGULAR MAINTENANCE ON IT, NOT BREAK IT!! ALL YOU DO IS SMOKE ALL DAY AND MESS THINGS UP FOR ME, PAPYRUS! AND JUST LOOK AT YOUR SICKLY, YELLOWING BONES!”
Papyrus: “Dude, I bet I’m gonna live for so long at this rate, my bones are turning into gold. Nye-heh.”
SANS: “UGH, THAT’S NOT EVEN CLOSE TO BEING FUNNY, PAPS!!! AND WHAT WERE YOU DOING JUST THEN, YOU WERE SMOKING LIKE A HOUSE ON FIRE AGAIN, WEREN’T YOU???”
Papyrus: “No not at all, bro. I was gonna smoke over there at the sentry station.”
SANS: “FOR HECK’S SAKE! IF YOU’VE GOT TIME FOR THAT, GO CLEAR THAT BOULDER AND FIX THE TRAPS, YOU SCUM! WHAT IF A HUMAN COMES THROUGH???! DON’T YOU DARE TARNISH MY REPUTATION BY LETTING THEM ESCAPE, PAPYRUS! I AM THE BEST! I MUST BE THE BEST! I WILL CAPTURE A HUMAN! AND I, THE MAGNIFICENT SANS, WILL RISE TO THE TOP WHERE EVERYONE WILL LOOK UPON ME WITH THEIR UTMOST RESPECT!! MORE HONOUR….MORE RECOGNITION…I WILL FINALLY FULLFIL MY DREAM OF BECOMING A ROYAL GUARD! SERIOUSLY, I CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY I AM STILL NOT ACCEPTED TO THE ROYAL GUARD. EVERYONE OBVIOUSLY FEARS AND OBEYS THE MAGNIFICENT SANS, SO WHY???”
Papyrus: “Um, prolly cuz you always get into troubles.” SANS: “WHAT?! YOU ARE THE ONE CAUSING ALL THE TROUBLES, YOU ROTTENING BAG OF BONES! YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT MY HARDSHIPS! YOU REEK AND I DON’T EVEN WANT TO GO NEAR YOU!!!!”
Papyrus: “But we don’t even have noses, Sans.”
SANS: “GAH!!!(*DISGUSTED SKELETON NOISES*)”
Papyrus: “Chillax, dude. It’s true tho, right?”
SANS: “IT IS AND I HATE IT!!! SIGH… WHY DOES SOMEONE AS MAGNIFICENT AS ME…HAVE TO GET NEGLECTED LIKE THIS?”
Papyrus: “Well, you ARE pretty violent. You literally beat up any monsters that you come across.
I bet they are all scared…and…
…rattling their bones…”
SANS: “GAH!!!!!!!! I’M HAVING A POUNDING HEADACHE JUST TALKING TO YOU!!!”
Papyrus: “Zowie, that’s BONKers.”
SANS: “SCREW YOU PAPYRUS!!!!!!!!!I’M OUTTA HERE!!!!!!!!!!”
[Sans goes off-stage]
Papyrus: “You can come out now, snotface. Oh you look pale, did ya hafta hold your breath cuz of the smoke? I don’t know how that feels cuz I’m just a skelee.”
* You tell him that the smell of rotting sandwiches was killing you more than the smoke did.
Papyrus: “Oh damn, I forgot about those again. Sans made those. Those are uh…you know. Those taste like cheese stuck between dirty socks. Would you believe me if I told you those smell like fruits, when freshly served? He makes me eat that garbage EVERYDAY. I don’t understand how he can suck so much at making something so basic.
Oh, got a little distracted, haven’t we.
Welp, I did your money’s worth. You should get going. He might come back. And when he sees you then, he will decapitate you. You wouldn’t want that to happen, aye?”
(And just as you try to enter the next map…)
Papyrus: “Um actually… the area beyond this point is full of traps because Sans is in charge. You are most likely going to die if you take a step there. How bout I guide you to a shortcut? Not for free, obviously.
Howzaboutit?”
150 G Will you pay him? [>N]
(You die immediately in the area that comes next to Sans & Papyrus encounter that is bound to happen after this payment) GAME OVER ???: “Chara! You are the hope of my future. Stay determined!” [>Y] Papyrus: “Sweet. It’s a deal. The shortcut’s just over there. I’ll see you in the next room, bucko.”
(Translator’s note: It doesn’t quite make sense to me how Chara could have paid more money, when Papyrus took all their money the first time. Are they using cheques or something? Put it on the tab?)
*(??? ???? ??? ??? ????(I can’t translate this, it just doesn’t make sense to my thick skull).)
[Papyrus & Sans]
SANS: “SO, AS I WAS SAYING ABOUT ALPHYS.”
!
SANS: “YOU! YOU MUST BE…A HUMAN, RIGHT?! OH, THE DAY HAS FINALLY COME!”
Papyrus: “Hmm, I think that’s a rock, Sans.”
SANS: “ARE YOU BLIND!! THAT’S DEFINITELY NOT A ROCK!!”
Papyrus: “Well…About that...(Stares with his right eye half-closed)”
SANS: ….(>:^[) Papyrus: “My righ—”
SANS: “GAH!!!!!!!WHATEVER!!!! THAT’S A HUMAN! A HUMAN FINALLY ARRIVES! ALPHYS WILL… I’M GONNA… I’LL BECOME… A ROYAL GUARD! I CAN BECOME A ROYAL GUARD! OH YES I SURE WILL! HUMAN! YOU SHALL NOT PASS THIS AREA.
BECAUSE I, THE MAGNIFICENT SANS, WILL DECAPITATE YOU!! WELL ACTUALLY, THAT COMES AFTER I’D CAPTURED YOU.
YOU WILL BE TAKEN TO ALPHYS!
AND!
ANNND!
UM.
WELL, SOMETHING’S GONNA HAPPEN. YEAH!
THE NEXT STAGE TO THIS AREA IS MY TURF, AND I’M SURE YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO SURVIVE MY TRAPS!! NGH-HEH-HEH!!!!” (goes off-stage)
Papyrus: “Well then, shall we go?”
                   ?                  ?? ||||||||        ??? ||||||||   +---- ||||||||-+ ||||||||?? ||||||||   ?????
[The shortcut takes both of them to that part of the game immediately, skipping all the maps that were supposed to come prior to it]
Papyrus: “There’s a town just past the bridge. Good luck, chump.”
[Long bridge before Snowdin Town]
SANS: “WHAT!!!  HOW DID YOU GET PAST MY TRAPS SO EASILY…AND SO FAST TOO, HUMAN?? YOU SLIPPERY SNAIL! WELL, WHATEVER! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO SURVIVE THIS ONE! BE HOLD, THIS IS YOUR LAST AND MOST DANGEROUS CHALLENGE: THE GAUNTLET OF DEADLY TERROR!”
(Various traps come down)
“WITH MY COMMAND, EVERYTHING WILL ACTIVATE! CANNONS WILL FIRE, SPIKES WILL FALL! AND BLADES WILL SWING! THE CHANCES OF YOU SURVIVING THIS, YOU ASK? NONE! ARE YOU READY, HUMAN??? BECAUSE I! AM! ABOUT! TO DO IT!”
?...
Papyrus: “Uh, something wrong, dude?”
SANS: “UGH, WHY ISN’T THIS STUPID THING WORKING?? WHY?? ARGH, SCREW THIS!! I’M SICK OF EVERYTHING ALWAYS TRYING TO RUIN MY DAY! JUST YOU WAIT, HUMAN! I AM DEFINITELY GOING TO KILL YOU AFTER I FIX THE GAUNTLET OF DEADLY TERROR!” (Sans goes off-stage)
Papyrus: “Hmm, so I guess…my role as your helper ends here? It’s just about enough labour for the money’s worth, don’t ya agree? Heeey, how come you are looking at me like that, as if you’re getting ripped off? I honestly did so much for you. You should thank me.”
[Snowdin Town]
(*All the houses in the town are old, boring and colourless. The townspeople look sad, and they do not seem to even have the strength to stand straight. Despite the depressing air that fills the whole town, the orange decorative lights above your head flicker, filling you with DETERMINATION.)
==Asriel==
Asriel: "You are a human, aren’t you?
But why would one be here? Well um…whatever. Are you going to the CORE as well? To see mom…I mean, the Queen Toriel?
It must have been so hard for you, to have come all the way here.”
==Snowdin Shop, Gerson==
Welcome. Watcha need?
[You say hello] Gerson: “You are not from around here, aren’t ye? Welcome to Snowdin Town. It’s been forever since the last time there’s been an outsider here. This stinking town’s not made for attracting tourists, after all. So, where dizya come from? The capital? You don’t look like a traveller.”
[You ask him about the things to do in Snowdin Town] Gerson: “…You seriously want to hang out here in Snowdin? Huh. Well, there is a big restaurant run by a lady called Muffet. The food there is okay-ish from what I know, but she’s a stingy one. Never misses a digit when it comes to counting money.
Also, you’ll see a library right next to the restaurant. I don’t recommend going inside, so don’t blame me if you do end up going there. It’s all dusty from years of neglect, and all you’ll find there are some outdated books and old, rusty, creaking desks.
Right next to my shop is the inn. Maybe you can rest there, but the beds? They have the worst kind. Plain horrible. They make your back hurt for a week. Oh, and it seems that the owner of the inn has a sister who’s apparently went out to live in Waterfall. I don’t know much of what happened to her.
By the way, have you seen a pair of funky skeletons on the street? Be careful out there, kiddo. If you stay outside for too long, they might come and molest you, take your money away or maybe even cut off all your limbs. Brothers, I think. They just suddenly appeared one day, threatening the townsfolk and…things here have gotten worse than ever. Now everyone’s traumatised and always terrified.”
[The history of the town] Gerson: “What, are you seriously asking me about the history of the town, right here and now? Do kids even go to school these days...Hmm, actually, that’s understandable. The underground school is utter trash. Alright kid, here it goes.
Long ago, many monsters used to live in the RUINS. Long story short, they all eventually had to evacuate to the end of the underground. But only the rich and the strong survived the journey to the end, and the poor and the weak, such as myself, left behind the cold and dark place we now call Snowdin.
That being said, you should keep away from the RUINS. The door there had been locked for ages, but you shouldn’t even try unless you are a ghost or have a reason to dig a big ol’ tunnel through the ground. Anyone who gets near the door, dies.”
[About life] Gerson: “Life? It’s always the same, full of struggles and frustration. I’m gonna become claustrophobic just hiding inside like this every day. I want to go out to the surface again. Who wouldn’t? This wretched place’s the worst you can ever set your feet into. The ones of higher power repress the poor and the weak, and somewhere, every day, someone gets murdered and unspeakable things rot people’s mind. Who’d ever want to live here? But for us to all escape from this damned place, the magical barrier has to be taken down, which the Queen has yet to accomplish. I don’t have high hopes. Even if she does take it down someday, only the privileged monsters living at CORE will escape, and the rest will be abandoned like we always had been.
So, young one, if you want my word of advice, all I can tell you is: ‘get out of here as soon as you can’.”
[The Librarby]
-*(These are school reports about monster funerals. The yellowing sheets of paper suggest that they are from very long ago.) Monster funerals, technically speaking, are dumb as heck. When monsters get old and kick the bucket, they turn into dust. At funerals, we take that dust and spread it on that person’s favourite thing. They say the person’s memory will live on those things forever. Seriously, it’s an awfully dumb tradition.
-*While monsters are mostly made of magic, human beings are mostly made of water. Humans, with their physical forms, are far stronger than us. But they will never know the joy of getting their custom magic-bullet-patterned merchandises. It’s all about business, baby!
-*Because they are made of magic, monsters’ bodies are attuned to their SOUL. If a monster doesn’t want to fight, its defence will weaken. And the crueller the intentions of our enemies, the more their attacks will hurt us. Therefore, if a being with a powerful SOUL struck with the desire to kill…
-* “MONSTER HISTORY PART 4” Fearing the humans, we evacuated out of our old home, RUINS. We braved through the harsh cold, damp swampland, and searing heat…Until we reached what we now call our capital. But what we couldn’t have foreseen was the battle between the monster kinds. Poverty and appalling crimes, along with our grudge against humanity, have let the monster society to fall apart.
-*Love… hope… compassion…? (Various words are scribbled, but are cancelled out to make it hard to read them) This is what people say monster SOULs are made of. But the absolute nature of “SOUL” is unknown. After all, humans have proven that monster SOULs don’t need these things to exist.
[Bonebrother’s mail boxes]
(LEFT) (*The name ‘SANS’ is written on this mailbox. It’s full of memo papers and letters. None of them seems to have been read, but they are still all crumpled anxiously. You also notice that some of the letters are about the bills.) (RIGHT) (*This mailbox is completely boarded up with wooden panels.)
[Sans Fight]
SANS: “HUMAN. ALTHOUGH IT IS A SHAME FOR ME TO ADMIT, I GET THAT YOU ARE PRETTY DARN STRONG AND CLEVER. AFTER ALL, YOU HAVE GOTTEN PAST MY TRAPS, SUCCESSFULLY UPSETTING SOMEONE AS MAGNIFICENT AS ME! ALSO…UH…PAPYRUS TOLD ME THAT YOU’D EATEN ONE OF MY SANDWICHES, AND SO GRACEFULLY, TOO! IS THAT TRUE?”
[*You tell him that you have not----]
SANS: “WELL, IT IS TRUE THAT MY COOKING SKILL IS THE FINEST!”
[*You try again to tell him that it’s all a lie------]
SANS: “I UNDERSTAND, HUMAN. MY SANDWICHES MUST BE SO GOOD (Translator’s note: it sure does bring all the boys and girls to the yard, am I right lads or am I right lads) , HOW ELSE WOULD YOU HAVE EATEN ONE THAT’S GOTTEN SO OLD? YOU MUST REALLY LIKE (MY) SANDWICHES! ( ?° ?? ?°) AND YOU ARE SO STRONG, TOO. I’VE NOTICED THAT YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY BE ABLE TO PULL THROUGH MY DEVIOUSNESS AND ENTERTAIN ME FOR A WHILE! THE PEOPLE I’VE KILLED SO FAR HAVE DIED WAY TOO EASILY, AND IT’S NOT BEEN SO FUN FOR ME, YOU KNOW? UNTIL…YOU’VE CAME ALONG! OH, I SURE AM GOING TO HAVE A GOOD TIME. OH, THE WHOLE KILLING YOU THING? DON’T WORRY TOO MUCH; I STILL NEED THE PERMISSION TO KILL YOU. SO, THAT’S BEING POSTPONED. NOW, HUMAN. I, THE MAGNIFICENT SANS, WILL… WAIT…. NO. I CAN’T SHOW YOU MY TRUE POWER AND MIGHTINESS UNLESS I STRIKE WITH THE INTENTION TO KILL YOU! AND I’VE WANTED TO TEST IT FOR LONG, TOO…ON AN ACTUAL, STRONG HUMAN LIKE YOU! HUMAN, I SHALL FIGHT YOU TO FINALLY REACH MY TRUE POTENTIAL! THAT I HAVE YET! TO HAVE WITNESS! AS THE NEWEST MEMBER… OF THE ROYAL GUARD!
*Sans blocks your way!
[Act>Check]
Sans [ATK and DEF : (awaiting author’s input)] He likes to say “NGH-HEH-HEH!”
SANS: “NGH-HEH-HEH!” (or) *Sans whispers ‘NGH-HEH-HEH!’ to you.
SANS: “WHAT, YOU AREN’T GONNA FIGHT? WELL! THAT MEAN’S I WILL HAVE TO THROW THE FIRST BLOW! TAKE THIS, YOU ARE GONNA HAVE A TERRIBLE TIME!
NGH-HEH-HEH!”
*The blade on Sans’ scythe glows cyan blue.
SANS: “NGH-HEH-HEH, I SEE YOU TRYING TO DODGE!
BUT HOW LONG WILL YOU LAST JUST BY DODGING?”
* Sans excitedly swings the scythe that’s been resting on his shoulders.
SANS: “I HOPE YOU WILL SURVIVE AS FAR TO SEE MY SPECIAL ATTACK, HUMAN!
* Sans is reminded of the time Papyrus had blown out cigarette smoke on Sans’ face, and frowns in disgust.
SANS: “GAH!! I’M GETTING DISTRACTED BECAUSE YOU ARE MOVING SO SLOW!”
* Sans is preparing for something.
SANS: “EVERYTHING WILL GO AS PLANNED ONCE I HAND YOU OVER TO ALPHYS.”
*Sans is laughing hysterically.
SANS: “AND THEN, SHE WILL FINALLY LET ME BE AN OFFICIALLY CERTIFIED ROYAL GUARD!
AS FOR PAPYRUS…GAH, I CAN’T CARE LESS ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO THAT MONEY DRIVEN FOOL!”
*Sans is pretending to be cool.
SANS: “FROM THEN, THOSE ANNOYING LETTERS WILL STOP BEING DELIVERED TO MY HOUSE…AND I BET INSTEAD, SO MANY PEOPLE WILL GATHER AROUND MY HOUSE TO PAY THEIR RESPECT TOWARD ME!”
[When you are left with only 1 HP]
SANS: “I…I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU ARE SO WEAK??? ARE YOU MESSING AROUND WITH ME?? THIS IS NOT FUN AT ALL! THERE’S NO WAY YOU ARE THE SAME PERSON WHO HAD DEFEATED ALL MY TRAPS! UNBELIEVABLE! YOU ARE GROUNDED FOR NOT LETTING ME USE MY SPECIAL ATTACK! I’M GOING TO PUT YOU IN THE ‘DUNGEON (PAPYRUS CALLS IT OUR GARAGE BUT ‘DUNGEON’ SOUNDS COOLER)!”
[BONEBROTHERS’ GARAGE]
*It’s a note from Sans.
SANS: ‘HUMAN! YOU SHALL REMAIN HERE UNTIL ALPHYS DECIDES WHAT TO DO WITH YOU. DON’T YOU DARE TRY TO ESCAPE!’
[Check dog food bowl] *(Unfortunately, it’s just dry food)
[Check exit door] *(The door knob is broken. A note that says “Under Papyrus’ Maintenance” hangs next to it.)
SANS:  “YOU!! HOW DID YOU GET OUT? GO BACK IN THERE, ALPHYS HASN’T COME YET!!”
(Second battle with Sans, Chara down to1HP again.)
SANS: “GOT YA, HUMAN! I DONNO HOW YOU HAD MANAGED TO GET OUT ONCE, BUT I WON’T LET YOU DO THAT TWICE! IT’S DANGEROUS TO BE OUTSIDE, SO GO BACK INSIDE!
*It’s a note from Sans.
SANS: ‘YOU SHOULD REALLY NOTIFY ME FIRST IF YOU WANNA GET OUT, HUMAN. I’M NOT LETTING OTHERS KILL YOU FIRST, THAT WOULD TAINT MY REPUTATION.
[Check dog food bowl] *(It has what seems like…uh, a sandwich inside. It’s shredded into small piece.)
[Check exit door] *(The door knob is still broken, but this time it has ducktapes on.)
SANS: “WHAT, AGAIN?! IS THE DOOR KNOB STILL NOT FIXED?? AND WHY ARE YOU KEEP TRYING TO COME OUT, YOU JUST END UP BEING CAPTURED WAY BEFORE I EVEN USE MY SPECIAL ATTACK! ARE YOU BEING PERKY BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU ARE SO STRONG? YOU MUST REALLY WANT TO CHALLENGE SOMEONE AS STRONG LIKE I, HUH!”
(Third battle with Sans, Chara down to1HP again.)
SANS: “NO, NEVERMIND…YOU ARE JUST TOO WEAK.”
*It’s a note from Sans.
SANS: ‘JUST PLEASE STAY PUT, WON’T YOU? I’VE TOLD PAPYRUS FOR THE SECOND TIME TO FIX THE DAMNED DOOR KNOB, SO NOW YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO GET OUT!”
[Check exit door] *(Someone tried to fix the door with some strips of cellophane tape. There is a thread of post-its next to the door.)
PAPYRUS! I TOLD YOU TO FIX THE DOOR! Okay. DON’T JUST ADMIT IT! FIX IT NOW AND PROPERLY! ‘Properly.’ YOU CALL THIS FIXED???? Well it does shut. YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO LOCK IT! Oh hey wait, I think the door’s stuck… GAH, NEVERMIND!
SANS: “GAH, I KNEW HE WOULDN’T HAVE FIXED THE DOOR! ARE YOU JUST TRYING TO MESS WITH ME??? I DON’T HAVE THE TIME TO PLAY WITH YOU! GAH, I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS SITUATION. I COULD EASILY AMPUTATE YOUR LEGS SO YOU CAN’T WALK ANYMORE, YOU KNOW. IT SUCKS THAT I NEED TO PRESENT THE HUMAN NICE AND FRESH.”
(*Would you fight Sans for the fourth time?) >No
SANS: “HOW…HOW DARE YOU MAKE A MOCKERY OF ME!!...I’M GONNA GET LAUGHED AT FOR THIS, AREN’T I?! I WON’T BE ABLE TO BECOME A ROYAL GUARD, THEN…”
*(What would you say to him?)
-> You tell him that you are going to come back to Sans after running some errand.
SANS: “WHAT? BUT HOW CAN I TRUST YOU? WAIT A SECOND, MAYBE…MAYBE IT’S GOING TO BE FINE. YOU ARE BEING WATCHED BY ‘HER’ EVERYWHERE YOU GO IN THE UNDERGROUND, ANYWAYS. HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT THAT? THE ONLY WAY OUT HERE IS WHERE THE QUEEN IS, AND THE QUEEN WILL SURELY KILL YOU, AND BREAK THE BARRIER USING YOUR HUMAN SOUL. IT’S IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO BEAT HER IF YOU ARE SO WEAK LIKE THIS.
OH, HOW ABOUT I GIVE YOU MY PHONE NUMBER? I MIGHT AS WELL USE YOU FOR MY ENTERTAINMENT AS LONG AS YOU ARE ALIVE. I HAVE TO ADMIT, IT’S BEEN PRETTY FUN FIGHTING YOU, AND I’M IMPRESSED THAT YOU’VE STILL SURVIVED DESPITE BEING A WEAKLING. HERE, YOU BETTER PICK UP IMMEDIATELY WHEN I CALL YOU, OR ELSE! ANYWAYS, I’M GONNA BE AT MY HOUSE FOR A WHILE. FEEL FREE TO VISIT. LATER, HUMAN! NGH-HEH-HEH!”
[Waterfall]
*(The voices echoing through the tunnel fills you with DETERMINATION.)
(Asriel)
Asriel: “Oh, it’s you. Are you going to where Alphys is? You see, I’ve actually been trying to become a Royal Guard myself. But I would always get rejected. Mom will sure be happy again if I could become a member of the Royal Guard… Oh, don’t tell anyone that I’d said that. Haha.”
[Sentry Station]
Papyrus: “Oh, you are not dead yet? Hey, that’s pretty impressive. Me? Can’t you see that I’m working? Having two jobs means twice the money. BTW, I’m going to Muffet’s. Wanna come and talk for a bit?”
>Sure       /       No I’m busy
Papyrus: “Alright. Come this way.”
[Muffet’s]
Papyrus: “Here we are. Let’s sit there. Hey, why the mean looks? Don’t tell me you are still angry that I took all your money? I deserved to get paid for what I’ve done, you know.
Hey boss, how’s the business going?”
*(Muffet aggressively hands out to Papyrus a handful of receipts.) Muffet: “It would be going fantastically only if you would pay your tab, you stinky skeleton.”
Papyrus: “Whoa there, you look as if you are going to break my bones. I’m already broke as heck, you know.”
Muffet: “I’ve had enough of your puns, Papyrus. Get out if you are not gonna order something.”
Papyrus: “Oy snotface, ye gonna order?
[YES    /    >NO]
Papyrus: “What the hell kid, we can’t stay here if you don’t order. No, I’m not here to spend my money. I just came for a chat.
*(...Seems like you don’t have much of an option but order. What would you have?) -Spider Cider 20G    -Spider Beer 50G
Muffet: “This is the only thing a kid like you can have. Here.”
*Muffet hands you a jug of Spider Cider, aggressively.
Muffet: “Hold on there, Papyrus. Everyone has to order to stay. Hurry up and get something.
Papyrus: Um…Unfortunately, missus, I haven’t got any money on me. How about you pay for me as well, kid?
*(......Seems like you must. What would you order?) - Spider Donut 50G  -Spider Beer 50G
Papyrus: “Eh, I’ll have beer.”
*(.........You order beer.)
(Muffet goes to the back storage to fetch beer.)
Papyrus: “By the way…You seem to get along awfully well with my brother. Doesn’t he bother you?”
[he doesn’t bother me     /      > I hate the guy]
Papyrus: “Of course you do. He’s noisy and troublesome, and it’s always me who has to go around and fix his mess. It gets really annoying, and most importantly, it costs money. But it’s true that he’s pretty darn strong.
Oh, here comes the booze. Hey boss, mind if I vape?”
Muffet: >:^(
Papyrus: “Alright, I won’t. Chill.
Anyways, Snotface. He might not look it, but Sans is pretty serious about the whole ‘becoming a Royal Guard’ thing. Once, he went up to the captain of the Royal Guard and yelled at her, threatening her to accept him as a member of the Royal Guard. Of course, he got rejected because it was 3 in the morning. But Sans just kept yelling from outside her house, and not letting her sleep for once. When she couldn’t handle it anymore, she came out the door and bluntly said that she would train him. And it’s uh, still work in progress.
Oh that’s right, I have something to ask. Have you ever heard of a talking flower?” Yes / > No
Papyrus: “Gee, kid. Is there anything you actually know ABOUT…? Whatever, I’ll tell you about it. The Echo Flowers. Those purple flowers are all over Waterfall. If you try to say something to it, it will hypnotise you and make you say all the filthy truth inside your mind, and the flower will repeat it endlessly even after you are gone. So, what about it? Well…Sans has told me something weird. He seemed very upset. He said he had been hearing someone whisper things to him. Concerns…Encouragements… Advices. And sometimes, the voice even tries to lecture him for his behaviour. Don’t you find that weird? A mere echo flower wouldn’t talk that way. I was wondering if you knew anything about it, but nevermind if you don’t.
Oh, looks like I’ve dragged on for too long.
Thanks for the drink, kiddo.”
[Waterfall]
(Behind the falling water,)
(there’s an echo flower.)
*(A distorted voice can be heard from the echo flower that has been stomped on by someone.)
“Un…..d….lo….” *(You can’t seem to understand it.)
*(There’s a scrap of paper on the floor. Will you take it?) >Take it       |     Leave it be
*(You’ve got Alphys’ Letter EX.)
Items->Check – “Alphys’ Letter EX” – Desperate clawmarks cover the letter. The envelope says it is directed to Dr. Undyne.
Items->Use – It’s been sealed very tightly. In fact, you might need a chainsaw to open it. You peek through a hole made by the clawmarks, and can see a letter ‘L’.
Items-> Drop – It’s too strong to be dropped.
[Waterfall Bushes – The Hiding Spot]
SANS: “HI, ALPHYS. YOU MUST HAVE HEARD ALREADY, BUT I GOT TO FIGHT A HUMAN. YOU KNOW, THE ONE I’VE TOLD YOU ABOUT OVER THE PHONE? WHAT, DID I LOSE? HECK NO DID I LOSE, I…I LET THEM GO ON PURPOSE! AND THEY PROMISED ME TO COME BACK. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I WAS LIED TO?? THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE! BESIDES, YOU CAN ALWAYS CHECK WHERE THEY ARE ON THE CAMERAS! I’M GONNA CALL THEM AND PROVE IT. I’M GONNA PROVE THAT THEY DIDN’T LIE! WHAT?? YOU ARE GOING TOO KILL THEM YOURSELF? NO, ALPHYS! IF YOU DO THAT, I CAN’T PLAY WITH THEM ANYMORE!”
-Chara moves and makes a noise
!
(BOOM!) – Alphys jumps down and searches the tall bushes. She grabs someone up by their neck, but it’s just Asriel. She puts him down and jumps back up, disappearing into the dark.
Asriel: “Ah, that gave me the heebi jeebies! It’s all your fault I got busted. At least she’s just gone away. By the way, what the heck did you do to become their target? Oh, maybe it’s just because you are a human… But you still want to become a Royal Guard, right? It would be very tough for you, but good luck!”
*(Fear tries to overwhelm you, but you stay DETERMINED.)
*(There’s an abandoned plate of lasagne under the bench. Will you take it?) >Take it        |           Leave it be
*(You’ve obtained the Abandoned Lasagne.) -" Abandoned Lasagne " - Heals 34 HP A lame-looking lasagne made of tomato and eggplant.
Echo flower: *I wasn’t ready to take the responsibility.
*Ring Ring... SANS: “HELLO, HUMAN! THIS IS SANS. HOW DID I GET THIS NUMBER? WELL, WHAT DOES IT MATTER? ANYWAYS, I’M CALLING YOU RIGHT NOW TO CHECK WHERE YOU ARE. I’M GONNA GUESS, YOU ARE NEAR A TUNNEL, RIGHT?? WHAT, DIDN’T YOU HEAR ME WHEN I HAD TOLD YOU THAT I’M GONNA KEEP CALLING YOU? I KEEP MY WORDS, YOU KNOW? SO YOU ARE NEAR THAT TUNNEL? GOT IT, SEE YOU LATER VERY SOON!
*Click…
[The Wishing Room]
*(The walls are covered with depressing words.) ‘It’s all useless. There’s no way wishes can come true.’ ‘I’ve prayed countless times, but nothing’s been accomplished.’ ‘We have no hope, we have no dream….’ ‘There’s no hope in the Underground.’
Echo flowers: *Long ago, monsters used to whisper their wishes to the shining stars on the sky. But now, all we have is the glowing rocks on the ceiling... If our wishes could truly come true by praying to the stars, maybe we wouldn’t have been trapped down here. This proves that even the stars and the sky have abandoned us.
*There’s no way thousands of wishes would come true. Even the king has left us in despair.” *What’s the point of coming here, anyway? *Countless times I’ve prayed, and I still haven’t gotten the recognition I deserve. *Wouldn’t destroying the ceiling make us see the real stars?
[Through the cave near the Wishing Room]
*(Ancient engravings cover the wall. You can barely make them out.)
‘The War between Humans and Monsters’
*Why did the humans attack? They seem to have nothing to fear. Humans are far stronger than us monsters, given the power of their SOULs. *The SOUL power of a single human could match those of all the monsters underground combined. *However, humans have a weak point. Ironically, it’s the power of their own SOUL. With such power, Human SOULs can persist even outside their body. If a monster defeats a human, they can take their SOUL. A monster with a human SOUL... A horrible beast with unfathomable power.
*(An ancient picture of a strange creature is plastered to the wall. Seeing it makes you feel unsettled…)
[Alphys Encounter & the Chase]
Asriel: “Oh geez, it’s you again. Say, are you following me? It’s your fault if we get caught while sneaking on her again, you know. Alphys just gave me a mean look few minutes ago and I wouldn’t want to appeal to her as a troublemaker anymore than I already have because of you. Well, at least it’s nice that she’s starting to notice me more, but still.
Hey, don’t be so down. Maybe you can come again later to hang out. I bet I will be around here, like I always am.”
*(This cheese has been on this table for so long, a magical crystal has grown on it. It’s stuck to the table… Desperate claw-marks cover the surface of the crystal. )
Echo Flower: I’m sooooo huuungryyy… Is this crystal… edible?
*(You feel perplexed by seeing the claw-marks, but you stay determined.)
(The Telescope) Papyrus: “The underground is riddled with fools who are obsessed with meaningless garbage. So I started this telescope business. Wanna have a go? It’s 50000G to use this premium telescope. Oh wait, you’d probably know more about the real stars in the sky than I do, right? Okay then, I’ll let you use this telescope for free so you wouldn’t complain later and call me a scammer.
So, howzaboutit?”
>Use         |       Don’t Use
*(You see rows of shiny rocks through the telescope. It doesn’t strike as accurate to real stars you’ve seen on the surface.)
(The player character gets a blue circular mark on one eye)
Papyrus: “Oh what the heck, looks like the paint didn’t dry properly yet. Yeah, that’s right. I just painted those shiny rocks on the lens. I say it’s good enough to trick some fools with high hopes.”
*What’s a star? Can you touch it? Can you eat it? Can you kill it? … Are you a star? … I really hoped you were.
Echo Flower: *(You hear a passing conversation.) *Well, don’t you have any wishes to make? *...Well, I do have one, but it’s kinda stupid.
The Phone: *Ring Ring… SANS: HELLO! IT’S ME, SANS. I CLEARLY REMEMBER YOU SAYING TO ME THAT YOU ARE NEAR A TUNNEL, BUT FOR SOME REASON I CAN’T SEE YOU ANYWHERE... YOU ARE ABSOULTELY, AND DEFINITELY GOING STRAIGHT FROM THERE, RIGHT?? OKAY, I WILL CALL YOU BACK LATER! *Click…
Echo Flower: *(You hear a passing conversation.) *No pressure if you don’t want to talk about it, but still… I’m kinda curious to know.
*(Human History continued) "The Power to Possess a Human SOUL.” “This is what the humans feared.”
[Shyren Spawn Area]
(Piano – No puzzle) *(...? It’s a battered old piano. Seems like someone practiced on it quite frequently.) *(Besides the piano, you see sheet music scattered around the corners of the room. The sheets are old, and filled with music scores illegibly. Some are torn.) *(‘Worl’... You can’t read the rest of the text because page has been torn apart on the corner.)
*There was no way for the humans to counter the power of a monster who has taken over a human SOUL, for it is impossible for humans to take a monster’s SOUL.
A monster’s SOUL immediately disappears upon death, and forcefully extracting the SOUL out of a live monster’s body would require incredible energy. *However, there’s an exception. The special kind of monsters called ‘Boss Monsters’ have enough SOUL power that can persist outside their body after death for a short time. Humans may be able to absorb the SOUL of Boss Monsters, but that has never happened. It hasn’t and will never be happening.
*(There’s what seems to be a stone statue. It seems incomplete.)
[The Umbrella]
*(The sign is broken.) *(The umbrellas are mostly ripped into pieces and bent. There’s only one umbrella that still works. Would you take the umbrella?) >Take it       |     Don’t Take it
Asriel: “Oh, how come you have a working umbrella? Well, I hope you don’t mind me using it!” (Asriel snatches away the umbrella from you. What an ass-riel.)
(*The rain from above splashes against your face.)
Asriel: “Y’know, I asked Alphys one more time to let me join the Royal Guard. And then, uh, got rejected again. But I think I’m almost there, I can definitely see that I’m making progress! Or at least I would be more qualified to be in the Royal Guard than a human like you.
So, as you may know, those purple Echo Flowers are made of magic. I’ve heard that those can be quite deadly to Monsters and not as effective to humans because of that. I saw my mother has a big garden of those Echo Flowers. I wonder why she has it?”
[The Castle View]
(Asriel starts to walk slower) (There are Echo Flowers around the map)
Asriel: “…Oh…Oh no, there are so many…Echo Flowers here, I swear there weren’t this many…the last time I was here… Hey, I’m gonna take a rest. If I don’t, I might…pass… ...
*(He has fallen asleep. You put the umbrella over his head.)
(You go over to the nearest umbrella station and pick up an old, broken umbrella.)
*(You’ve obtained a Broken Umbrella.)
*(This ledge is too steep to climb over, but you might find a way to climb it using your umbrella. Would you use the umbrella? >Yes             |            No
*(You climb over the ledge using the umbrella somehow, and left the umbrella below the ledge.)
*The Humans, fearful of our ability to absorb their SOUL, have announced a war against us. They attacked suddenly, and showed no mercy.
*( The sound of falling raindrops fills you with DETERMINATION.)
*As a result, the battle became something that can hardly be called a war. The Humans working together were far too strong, and us Monsters, too weak. Countless monsters turned to dust.
[The second Alphys Chase]
[The bridge is cut off, and the player falls down the garbage dump] I think I heard it from here... YO! You must be another kid Toriel has taken in. Are you alright? I thought I heard you crying… Oh, that wasn’t you? …Hey, what’s your name? Frisk?... That’s a nice name. Mine is…
*(This stream of water flowing down from the ceiling seems to be connected to the surface. Once in a while, pieces of garbage fall down from the gap, and disappear through the pit of darkness below. Seeing this endless cycle of garbage fills you with DETERMINATION)
*(You’ve found some junk food among the heap of garbage. This fills you with DETERMINATION.)
[Mad Dummy Fight]
*(Looks like a regular training dummy. Will you hit it?) >Yes       |       No *(You lightly kick the dummy.) *(Nothing happened.)
Mad Dummy: * “You! Unforgivable! How dare you just walk away after kicking me?! I am a ghost that lives inside the dummy. My cousin also used to live inside a dummy, until… YOU came along! The poor guy was scared off by the knife you were holding and disappeared! Horrible! Shocking! Unbelievable!! And they even told me that there’d be nothing to fear in the RUINS except for that one big monster.
HUMAN! I’ll take their revenge. I’ll…I… Oh, oh no, is that a knife?! Ha…hahah! It’s useless, physical attacks don’t work on me! Plus I, too, have a knife!!!!”
*(Mad Dummy throws their knife and misses.)
“(How…How could this be?! ) I’m…out of knife......................................
*(Mad Dummy disappears)
*  “Oh, what’s going on here???”
Hapstablook: * “I can’t concentrate on my practice. Tone it down, please! Oh! It’s you, darling. What have you been doing outside my house? Well, no matter. Just please keep it quiet so that I can concentrate on my practice. I will be going back in my house! …Uh, actually… Feel free to ‘chase’ me inside the house if you’d like to see me practice. Yes, perhaps you’d be a great distraction for me, but seeing me practice would be a once-in-a-lifetime chance that you wouldn’t want to miss! So I understand.
My house is up this way. Just making sure you know!”
*(This place is comfortingly quiet. You finally feel at peace and are filled with DETERMINATION.)
[Hapstablook’s House]
Hapstablook: “Oh?? I’ve never expected you to actually come all the way here… I…I mean, welcome, darling! I guess you really want to see me practice! Well, feel free to have a seat on the corner over there and watch me.”
*(It’s a diary. Would you read it? >Yes        | No
Hapstablook: “How rude! What do you think you are doing, that’s my super secret diary!”
*(Hapstablook is posing rhythmically with music blaring in the background…it seems?)
Hapstablook: “Darling, why don’t you join me and try posing, too? There’s no guarantee that I won’t be having any guest performers in my show, so it would be necessary to have a fine partner to practice with.”
*(You pose dramatically with Hapstablook. Hapstablook seems to be impresse.)
Hapstablook: “Not bad, darling! That was really… uh, do you hear that? Hold on, I will check the outside.”
(They exit the house)
*(Now that Hapstablook is outside, perhaps this might be the perfect time to read their diary. Will you do it?) >Yes  |  No
-1st Entry: Dear precious diary, Recently there have been very unfortunate rumours going around Waterfall. It saddens me. Some monsters have gone missing, and…Blooky won’t come out of his house or talk to me anymore. Sometimes he just disappears without any warning and does not come back for days. I’m afraid that he will never come to visit me or see me practice again.
-2nd Entry: Dearest diary, I enjoy buying new diaries for each entry I make. Writing down my thoughts, which I could never tell the others… It’s my element.
-3rd Entry Dear Darling Diary, My cousin left the house to fulfil their dream of becoming a training dummy. It’s just me and Blooky here now. I’ve noticed that Blooky is hanging out often with a certain monster at the garbage dump. And Blooky sounded so…excited to be with them? Perhaps, they would also leave the house like our cousin did, leaving me behind in this house, alone… You haven’t told me about it, Blooky, but I know that you’ve found a way to become corporeal. Everyone else but you, had been talking about it.
-4th Entry Dear lovely diary, Blooky told me something with a very enthusiastic voice today. It seems someone really enjoys listening to Blooky’s music. But, Blooky…I…I’ve heard that news from else before you’d told me about it. Did you just…uh…Were you just excited to tell everyone about it?
-5th Entry Diary…My love, You are all I’ve got left. Blooky probably won’t ever come back. It’s been so long since they left. I’m all alone, I’m tired I’m so tired I’m so tired I’m so tired
*(The pages have been ripped from this part and you can’t read them.)
-6th Entry To my dear diary... I’ve received a mail from Blooky after he’s been away for so long. They said sorry. It would have been better if they came here to visit me and tell me that. Why didn’t they? This…Anyone could have sent a simple mail like this. I didn’t reply. And a week has been passed since. And there’s no hope in achieving my dream.
[The Rabbit Shopkeeper]
“Welcome. We’ve got plenty of things to sell here, but nothing’s for penniless customers.”
[About You (The shopkeeper)] “Me? Well, there’s not much to say other than that I was one of the monsters to have fought in the War. Though, I wasn’t particularly championed as a great warrior, and my name is not known by many but my family and perhaps by one or two other monsters. I’m originally from Snowdin. It’s a very boring and depressing town, so I left there, alone. “
[The symbol] “What, you mean the Delta Rune? You don’t know what that is? You must be from the streets, since there’s no way you wouldn’t know if you’ve ever went to school. Delta Rune is a universal symbol that represents the kingdom of monsters as a whole.”
[The story behind Delta Rune] “Delta Rune’s an ancient symbol that has been passed down through generations, though its original meaning has been lost in time. From what I can remember, the triangles symbolise the monsters, and the winged circle above is supposed to be…something else. Many believe that it represents the angel from the prophecy. I think it’s kinda ridiculous, wouldn’t you agree?”
[The Prophecy] “According to the prophecy, an angel who has seen the surface world will come down below to free the monsters. But these days, everyone thinks that this so-called angel is actually the ‘Angel of Death and Destruction’. The mighty god who will ‘FREE US’ monsters from this world… Weird, huh? Why not just call it the ‘Devil’ instead of the ‘Angel’?
I also find it stupid to believe in such myth. If the angel really were to exist, good for me, but having high hopes in things you can’t even see or feel makes it harder for people to bear with the world, y’know?”
[The Queen]
“The Queen is merciless but an extremely collected person. You might run into her if you stayed at CORE. She seems to go past there a lot of the times. But, being a low-class citizen like you are, you will need to brace yourself and even risk your life if you truly are willing to meet her.”
[About Alphys] “Alphys? Oh yes, I’ve been around her since she was tiny. All she wanted was to become powerful enough to survive on her own. Now, with her determination and strength she’s become the captain of the Royal Guard. Actually…Alphys just came here to ask if I’d seen anyone that looks just like you. I would watch my back if I were you, kid. I might consider hiding you if you buy something from me, but until then…well…hahahah.”
(Echo flower Forest)
*(The air is full of the scent of Echo Flower, and it hurts your nose.)
[The War of Humans and Monsters Continued:] *Hurt, weak, and afraid of death, the monsters surrendered. The seven powerful magicians of the Human race forever sealed the monsters underground with their spell. Anything can get in through the barrier, but nothing can ever get out unless with a SOUL powerful enough to cross the barrier. The only way to break this spell… is to have a force that matches the SOUL power of seven Human SOULs attack the barrier. But that won’t happen. This cursed place will always be sealed away, for it is impossible for a human to find their way down here. We will be trapped down here forever.
[Flowey Town]
*Welcome to Flowey Town. *(Something feelS definitely… wrong. You are filled with DETERMINATION.)
*howdy! I’m Flowey. You must be new to the UNDERGROUND, aren’tya? *howdy! I’m Flowey. So, you are still alive and well, huh? *howdy! I’m Flowey. You must have gotten used to the UNDERGROUND, huh? *In thi world, it’s kill or be killed.
[Flowey Shop] *howdy! I’m Flowey. Flowey the flower! You are a human, right? Well, why not look around?
Friendliness pallets 1000 G
[Asriel and Alphys Encounter]
Echo Flower: “b e h i n d     y o u.”
==Alphys== Weapon: A double-sided axe on one hand, and a halberd on the other. A huge scar covers her whitened left eye. The tip of her nose(the snout?)has scars, and the right-side of her mouth has scars as well(NOT glasgow)
Alphys: "You must be the HUMAN.
Nice try getting away from me like a rodent…But now I’ve got you. You are NOT getting away so easily this time. Your SOUL will be delivered to the Queen, and with it, the barrier will break. This is the chance for your redemption.”
Asriel: “Alphys! This time, I will…uh……um…….I, I think I might have chosen the wrong time to—
(Got his ear pinched) O—Ouch!! Wait! You aren’t going to tell on me, right?!”
Echo Flower: No, No! It would be a disaster if I were found out!
[Echo Flower Conversation Continued] *(You hear a passing conversation.) *...Don’t laugh and I will tell you what my wish is.
*(You hear a passing conversation.) *Of course I won’t laugh.
*(You hear a passing conversation.) *One day, I would like to go on the surface world, and see the real sky, the real stars, and the real sun…
*(Silence.) *...It’s…uh, it’s a ridiculous dream, right?
*(You hear a short phrase.) *No. I promise that it will come true. I’ll help…because that’s my wish, too.
[Human History Continued:] *However…There is a prophecy. An Angel who has seen the surface world…will be back, and the underground will go empty.
[The Bridge]
Asriel: “Hey. I have to be going soon but let me ask you something before that. You… You aren’t actually trying to join the Royal Guard, right? I thought Alphys was chasing you away because she can’t accept a human as a Royal Guard. But I was wrong. I…I heard you are going after my mom, Queen Toriel. Are you trying to break the barrier?”
>Yes       |  No
“…So, Alphys was right, huh.”
Alphys: “My, my. It’s the prince again. I thought I’ve told you to stay away from this place”
Asriel: “…I, understand.”
(Asriel is off-stage.)
Alphys: “How pitiful. HUMAN. I’ve got you THIS TIME! I see you are making face as if you don’t deserve this fate. BUT, your kind has induced us more pain and suffering imaginable that we did not deserve. No time to explain any of this to you, for you’ll die soon. En garde!”
*(The wind is howling…You are filled with DETERMINATION.)
[Alphys Fight]
"..."
*Alphys attacks!
>Plead *You tell Alphys that you don’t want to fight, but she doesn’t even respond.
Alphys: “You can’t run now.”
(The ‘Battle Field’ is quite narrow, only giving you a little room to move.)
*Alphys licks her lips, as if she’d found a perfect prey.
>Mercy > Spare/(Escape button doesn’t show up.) Alphys: “Hahahahah! You, sparing me? Who do you think you are? What a joke.”
*Alphys stands, intimidating you.
>Mercy > Spare/(Escape button doesn’t show up.)
Alphys: “Well, maybe I can ‘spare’ you with my own method…by killing you and sparing your organs for a fine meal!”
*The rustic smell fills the air.
>ITEM >Use Alphys’ Letter EX
Alphys: “...You…what are you holding…”
*Alphys’ ATK dropped! Alphys: “DAMN IT! Stop blocking my attacks with the letter and hand that over, human!!”
*Alphys seems flustered and attacks suddenly.
Alphys: “You!!” (She tosses her halberd. With a loud ‘CRASH’, the player deflects it.)
(Translator’s note: I think the author forgot to mention about giving the player a shield or a weapon to deflect the attacks with.)
>Mercy Spare/>Escape
[You Escape] Alphys: “!!!” (Alphys’ uses her magic attack to block the player’s way, with the bullets flying over to the player like boomerangs, except they are double-sided axes.)
[Alphys Fight 2]
Alphys: “Stop, HUMAN!”
>ITEM >Use Alphys’ Letter EX
Alphys: “Screw you!! Give back the damned letter!
*Alphys grinds her teeth
ACT >Read Letter
*You attempt to read the letter, but it’s still sealed too strongly to open.
Alphys: “You are so dead.” *Alphys charges in again Alphys: “DAMN IT!” (She tosses her halberd. The player deflects it again.)
>Mercy Spare/ > Escape
[You Escape] Alphys: “!!!” (Alphys’ uses her magic attack to block the player’s way, with the bullets flying over to the player like boomerangs, except they are double-sided axes.)
[Alphys Fight 3]
Alphys: “So this is how you want to play it, huh? I don’t even care about the SOUL anymore, I’m gonna rip you into bloody shreds.”
*Alphys’ ATK increased! Alphys’ SPD increased!
ACT >Plead
Alphys: “It’s no use. You won’t get past so easily this time.”
*Alphys glares fiercely.
ACT >Read
*You read the name on the envelope of the letter. ‘FROM ALPHYS’
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Alphys attacks.
(The player deflects her halberd again.) >Mercy Spare/ > Escape
[Hotland]
(Papyrus is stoned at the sentry station.) (You hide behind Papyrus, under the sentry station.)
(Alphys runs past, and then comes back to the station to talk to Papyrus.)
Alphys: “Have you seen anyone coming down this way before me? Like, a human?”
Papyrus: “Nope.”
Alphys: “Useless piece of scum.” (Alphys goes back to the Waterfall area.)
Papyrus: “…………You can come out now.
So, how much?”
*(You hand over 100G to him.)
Papyrus: “Ah, thank you, dear customer! Gotten used to this place, huh? You know your stuff. You are welcomed anytime. I will be at your service for that sweet, sweet money. And I won’t ask you any questions or doubt you as long as you pay the right amount. Anyways, see you later.”
*Ring…Ring… Sans: “HEY HUMAN! WHAT DID YOU DO?! ALPHYS IS AWFULLY MAD! I HAVEN’T SEEN HER THIS MAD SINCE THE TIME I SHOUTED OUTSIDE HER HOUSE FOR A FULL WEEK STRAIGHT! NOW SHE WON’T LISTEN TO WHATEVER I HAVE TO SAY! COME AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!”
Alphys: “What, who are you talking to, Sans? Wait a second… Give that phone to me!
As I suspected!
Human! You damned rodent, stop hiding and come OVER HERE! We have a battle to set end to!”
*Click…
*(The silence of this place overwhelms you. Seeing a strange laboratory in a place like this, making low whirling mechanic noise fills you with DETERMAINATION.)
[Catty and Bratty]
Bratty: “You shall not pass.” Catty: “Not pass.”
Bratty: “Alphys, like, told us that there’s totally a human here? So, we have to block this path to the CORE.” Catty: “We have, like, no idea where they are? But like, we have to block this path to the CORE.”
Bratty: “We are gonna do our best!” Catty: “Our best, Alphys!”
Bratty: “So, like, there’s no way you will be going past here.” Catty: “No way you will be going past here.”
Bratty: “Since you seem desperate, here’s a little advice.” Catty: “Not much, but an advice.”
Bratty: “Through that laboratory, you’d be able to reach the CORE.” Catty: “But you will have to risk your life to do that.”
[In front of Alphys’ House]
Sans: “HUMAN! YOU REALLY HAVE COME! HURRY UP AND DO SOMETHING, I HAVE A SPLITTING HEADACHE BECAUSE OF THIS!”
Alphys: “So you’ve come, human. So, about that letter… Uh, Sans, didn’t you say you have something else to do today?”
Sans: “WHAT? NO? TODAY’S A TRAINING DAY!”
Alphys: “…I will help you with training for the entire week next week, so just call this a day, won’t you?”
Sans: “WOW, REALLY?! KEEP YOUR PROMISE! I WILL SEE YOU LATER, ALPHYS! AND HUMAN!”
Alphys: “...Okay. So. I’ll get to the point. Where. Is. The letter.”
*(You hand over the letter to her.)
Alphys: “…did you read it?”
*(What will you say?)
>I did Alphys: “What?! Wait…no…you are lying. Only I can open the envelope. What made you think it would be good to lie like that?”
>Did not Alphys: “Of course you didn’t. Only I can open the envelope. No way you’d have…”
Alphys: “...I would love to bite your neck off right now, but that would destroy your SOUL, so consider yourself lucky that I’m holding back. By the way, this letter…where did you find it? Or did someone give it to you?”
Yes  >No
Alphys: “So you’ve found it? Maybe from behind a waterfall?”
... >Yep
Alphys: “...Hmph. Well, it seems that nobody has read it, so I will let this slide.”
(You can move around freely and inspect the front yard of the house now)
(You attempt to run away)
-CRASH!-
Alphys: “Where are you running off to?! I’m not done talking!” *(A magical axe is piercing the floor right in front of where your foot is. One wrong move and it would have been a disaster.)
(inspect door) Alphys: “So you want to get inside my house? You have a death wish? Only I and some corpse are allowed in my house.”
(inspect Dummy) *(The Dummy is covered in a white sheet) Dummy: “You…Why are you here?! Don’t pull off my sheet, it’s a part of my identity!
(inspect the box on the right-side corner) *(It reeks of rustic smell. The box contains various types of weapons: a broken sword; an old axe; a broken spear; nunchucks snapped in half… Seems like they are all broken and useless.)
(inspect Alphys) Alphys: “...What, you’ve got something to say? If you ask something stupid I’m gonna kick you away.”
*(......You ask about who that letter is directed to.) Undyne          Toriel IDK LMAO       Human (You can select each character as the receiver of the letter, and hear everything unless you go straight to choose ‘Undyne’. The conversation about the letter will be over once you choose ‘Undyne’)
-Human Alphys: “Ha, you wish! Why would I ever write a letter to you? Well, if you need someone to write a will on your behalf, maybe I can do that.”
-IDK LMAOOOOOO Alphys: “Of course you are clueless. Otherwise you’d be dead.”
-Toriel Alphys: “...hmph, I get why you’d say that. Everyone writes letters to the Queen. To show their respect; to accuse her; to show their pure rage; or to use her for their own benefit…etcetera.
But I don’t have a reason to write to her. I can always just talk to her in person, for I am her faithful Royal Guard. Though, there had been this one time that I had to write a response letter to her when I was a mere prisoner.”
-Undyne Alphys: “...Did...did you actually read it…? HOW DID YOU KNOW?!?!?? I’M GONNA KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
*(You tell her that there’s a ‘To: Undyne’ written on the outside of the envelope.)
Alphys: “......” *(Alphys checks the envelope. Flustered, she throws it inside her house through the window.) Alphys: “If you. Ever. Talk about this to anyone…You’d be dead. Though you already don’t have much time left.”
(Awkward Silence)
Alphys: “...Oh, yes, about going to the Queen. I can take you to the castle. How about that? And before we go, I can treat you with a meal.”
*(????? ??? ?? ?? ?? ??? ? ??. Translator:???????)
[Alphys’s House]
Alphys: “Take a seat.”
*(The inside of the house smells of blood) *(But visually, it’s pretty clean inside)
Alphys: “I’ll cook you somethin’, so stay there. Speaking of cooking, I’ve seen the food humans eat on a book. It was fascinating.”
Alphys: “(talks with her back to the human) Has anyone told you this? I’m the one who’d taught Sans how to make a sandwich. He just kept begging me to teach him something, so I did. But still to this day, he can’t even make something as basic as a sandwich…I can’t understand how stacking up ingredients can be so difficult. His first-ever-sandwich wasn’t even close to being a food. Can you believe that? At least there has been some sort of improvement since back then.
As for why I’m not letting him in the Royal Guard…It’s simple. He’s just too reckless and I don’t have the mercy to clean up his mess.”
Oven: DING-
Alphys: “Seems like it’s done. Here. Careful, it’s hot. ... It’s not THAT HOT! Just Eat It!”
*(It’s a dish of deliciously cooked paella. It burns your tongue, but it’s still good.)
Alphys: “You like it, huh? I’ve spent so much time cutting and preparing meat, my cooking skill just naturally improved. …Don’t look at me like that! I used perfectly good meat that you can eat.
Speaking of meat, it’s pretty damn hard to get some in the underground. It was like that since I was little, and it just gradually got more difficult.
Cold, hungry, and the fear of assault…Nothing eases your mind in this cursed place. I had to get stronger for my own survival, and fight the despair. And one day, a job…no, there was an errand to run at the CORE, so I went.
Everyone at the CORE seemed to have been living in a luxury, unlike the folks from Snowdin or Waterfall. And then, I met the Queen, Toriel, there at the CORE. I’ve gotten so furious looking at her peaceful face. It wasn’t fair. My anger erupted all at once, and being young and unaware of the consequences, I attacked her. The result was...not good. She got her trident speared through my hands, and said: ‘Not bad. I’m impressed. Won’t you become my student?’ She was cold as ice, and showed no emotion. That’s how she was the whole time. Anyways, from then, I lived in the same luxurious life of a higher-class, although I had to be a prisoner for a while. Now I’m the leader of the Royal Guard, and, my life is pretty much set. But being too long at the castle kinda bored me, so I came down to Waterfall. It’s not a good place to live, but still I did.
Oh, we’ve been talking for so long. Would you like a drink?
Hey, you seem dizzy. Is something wrong?
Good.
Just like that,
Stay down.
(You fall unconscious…)
[Hotland – Undyne’s Lab : ‘The True Lab’]
*(Upon your waking, you see yourself in an unlit laboratory. The strange smell from the chemicals swirl around you, giving you an unbearable headache.)
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marvyn-reads · 6 years
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Arsene Wenger signed a number of stars for Arsenal throughout his reign, but also missed out on several high-profile names.
A near 22-year stay at Arsenal for Arsene Wenger means there have been a lot of hit signings... and a fair few flops.
But throughout Wenger's long reign at the club, one of the prevailing trends has been the Frenchman's insistence that he tried to sign various big names, amid criticism over the club's perceived lack of ambition in the transfer market.
With the 68-year-old now set to depart Arsenal at the end of the season, we have put together an XI of players Wenger has said Arsenal missed out on in the past.
This lot would certainly give the current starting line-up a run for their money, with Arsenal facing another campaign in which they have fallen short of Champions League qualification.
GOALKEEPER: JOE HART
He lost his place under Pep Guardiola, but Joe Hart was a mainstay of the Manchester City team that won two Premier League titles and established themselves as a force in English football. He also effectively cemented his place as England's number one, although his place at the World Cup could now be in doubt after an error-strewn season on loan at West Ham. According to Wenger, he could have joined Arsenal before he forced his way into the City first team. "I remember when Hart played at Birmingham [in 2009-10]," he said. "I asked about him and they told me he is at Man City. I thought he would be the keeper there."
DEFENDER: CHRIS SMALLING
Wenger hasn't always got it right in defensive reinforcements but he saw something he liked in Chris Smalling during his Fulham days. Eventually, Arsenal were outmuscled by Manchester United, who signed the centre-back for a reported £7million. "I am sorry because we were very close to getting him," said Wenger. "We were on the case very early. I wish the player well. At the end of the day it is important he has a good career." He's not everyone's favourite but Smalling has certainly managed that. He has won two Premier League titles, an FA Cup, the Europa League and an EFL Cup with United – and was named the players' player of the year for 2015-16. Smalling has also scored twice in his last three United appearances.
DEFENDER: RAPHAEL VARANE
This one appeared to bother Wenger. Raphael Varane has developed into one of the world's finest young defenders since joining Real Madrid in 2011 and has won two LaLiga titles and three Champions Leagues with the Spanish club. According to Wenger, it could have been very different. He told Eurosport: "He was at Lens and we might well have caught him there. Yet at the same time, when you are in charge of a club like Arsenal, you have to wonder why this player is not playing for us." Ouch. Getting Per Mertesacker from Werder Bremen instead wasn't bad business, but the whole thing still rankles with Wenger.
DEFENDER: GERARD PIQUE
Gerard Pique was more of a pipe dream than a certifiable option who snubbed the Gunners' advances. The Spain international was one of a trio of Barcelona youngsters Wenger had his eye on back in 2003. "It worked only for Cesc Fabregas," said Wenger in 2014 after revealing the three La Masia graduates he was after. In the end, Pique moved to Manchester United and claimed Premier League and Champions League winners' medals before returning to Barcelona, where he has become one of the most decorated centre-backs in the modern game. Who was the third Barca boy, we hear you ask? You'll find out later…
MIDFIELDER: N'GOLO KANTE
One of the latest additions to this formidable line-up, N'Golo Kante has been the driving force behind Premier League title charges from Leicester City and Chelsea in the last two seasons. He has also established his place firmly in the France team. The all-round qualities of the combative, creative and utterly relentless 27-year-old led to inevitable questions about why Wenger never spotted the former Caen man's potential and made an offer. Well, it's quite simple: he did. Twice. Apparently. "Have I looked to sign Kante? Yes. When he was in France and when he was at Leicester," Wenger said. "I cannot explain everything [about why he preferred Chelsea] but it is quite obvious when you look at where he has gone. Was it the money? I do not want to talk about that. Transfers are transfers – you cannot explain absolutely everything."
FORWARD: CRISTIANO RONALDO
Multiple leagues, Champions Leagues, domestic cups, Euro 2016 and five Ballons d'Or are just some of the trophies Cristiano Ronaldo has lifted. In fact, his personal museum in Madeira holds more accolades than Wenger brought to Arsenal in 20 years. Things would have been very, very different had it not been for compatriot Carlos Queiroz's influence at Manchester United in 2003. At least, according to Wenger. "He was very close to coming here," he told ITV. "He has a number nine shirt with Ronaldo on the back from Arsenal Football Club. What happened was that Carlos Queiroz went to Manchester United and they snapped him away from us because he knew him from Sporting."
FORWARD: RONALDINHO
It has often been a bone of contention for Manchester United fans that they failed to get a deal for Ronaldinho over the line before he accepted Barcelona's offer. The Brazilian left Paris Saint-Germain for Camp Nou in 2003 and became the leading star at a club that was striving to return to the glory days of Johan Cruyff's Dream Team in the 1990s. A true modern great who also won three major tournaments with Brazil, Ronaldinho was one that got away for the Premier League's elite – and, yes, that includes Arsenal again. "We could have got Ronaldinho before he went to PSG," Wenger told Sky Sports. "I met his brother, who is his agent, a long, long time before he went to PSG – when he was 20 – but we just could not get him to England because of the rules here. Basically, what the rule does is force you to wait to buy the player but, by then, you cannot afford him anymore."
FORWARD: LIONEL MESSI
Still wondering who that third Barcelona player was? Oh, just the man considered by many to be the greatest footballer of all time. Eight LaLiga titles – soon to be nine – four Champions Leagues, five Ballons d'Or, scoring records for Barca and Spain's top flight – it's all just the tip of the iceberg for the undisputed star of one of the greatest club sides the game has ever seen. Still, if Wenger had his way, Messi would have learned much of his craft at London Colney rather than Catalonia. "I think, in the end, he was not so keen to move, because it was at a period where Fabregas came, and Fabregas and Messi played together in the same team," said Wenger. "We wanted to take Fabregas, Messi and Pique. It worked only for Fabregas. It was down to the fact that, in the end, Messi was comfortable at Barcelona."
FORWARD: GARETH BALE
A slight variation to the theme this time – according to Wenger, at least. The Arsenal manager says they looked at the Wales star while he was a fresh-faced youngster at Southampton, while they were assessing emerging talents including Theo Walcott. Ultimately, Wenger decided against an offer. Bale went on to join Tottenham, where he was transformed from unwitting full-back to a man who eats full-backs for breakfast, before heading to Real Madrid, where he has won three Champions Leagues. "I must confess it was a huge mistake as he can play in midfield," Wenger conceded in 2006. "He struggled at the start at Tottenham, then they moved him to midfield and he has done exceptionally well."
STRIKER: DIDIER DROGBA
A hero in the eyes of Chelsea fans and a real scourge of the Arsenal defence, Didier Drogba was one of the continent's finest centre-forwards for half a decade. He won 12 major trophies, including four league titles and the Champions League, across two spells at Stamford Bridge. Chelsea forked out a reported £24million for Drogba in 2004, but Arsenal could have signed him for a fraction of that price two years earlier. Please explain, Mr Wenger… "We watched Drogba very carefully when he was at Le Mans and his value was just £100,000. But we felt at the time he might not be completely ready… Looking back now, of course it was a mistake." Yup.
STRIKER: KYLIAN MBAPPE
The final starting spot goes to the most recent entry. Kylian Mbappe took Europe by storm last season, scoring 26 goals and assisting 14 as Monaco roared to a Ligue 1 title triumph and a place in the Champions League semi-finals. Paris Saint-Germain will complete a permanent move for the teenager at the end of the season for €180million after a successful one-year loan. Wenger, however, could have snapped him up for something significantly less than that had a visit to the forward's house last year gone to plan. "The player would tell you that I was at his home last year to try to get him here because he was at the end of [his] contract, but Monaco managed to keep him and the decision was very, very tight," said Wenger. "But I could understand it as well because he was educated there and at the end decided to stay there."
SUBSTITUTES:
If that starting line-up isn't formidable enough, just look at the options on the bench for our If-only-eh-Arsene XI.
Dimitri Payet ("He played at Saint-Etienne and we watched him many times"), Angel Di Maria ("We identified Di Maria when he was 17… he could not get a work permit here"), Eden Hazard ("I had his agent at my home but again the barrier was financial and Chelsea made an effort that I couldn't make"), Kingsley Coman ("Yes we really tried to sign Kingsley Coman in the summer of 2014. The transfer was almost completed, but he preferred Juventus"), Romelu Lukaku ("Yes, we knew him in Belgium but at the time he opted to go to Chelsea"), Yaya Toure ("It's not because we did not want to sign him that he went to Ukraine) and Paul Pogba ("We tried to get him to come here. But he very quickly signed for Juventus").
HONOURABLE MENTIONS:
We couldn't let these names slip through the net entirely.
Gianluigi Buffon (He claimed to have met with Wenger in 1998, while he was still at Parma. He went to Juventus in the end), Vincent Kompany (This one came from the player's agent, rather than Wenger himself. Apparently, the centre-back had been scouted by Arsenal before joining Manchester City in 2008), Roberto Carlos (The Brazil great actually said he wanted to go to Arsenal, but apparently never got a phone call. "When my contract finishes [the Premier League] is definitely my priority and at Arsenal there are fellow Brazilians," he said towards the end of his Real Madrid deal), Luis Suarez (Wenger launched a definite bid to sign the striker from Liverpool in 2014. However, his £40,000,001 offer – which he hoped would trigger Suarez's release clause – only served to infuriate Anfield officials, who allowed him to leave for Barcelona instead), Zlatan Ibrahimovic (Another who went for a trial at Arsenal, the story goes that the striker – then only 16 – rejected the chance to sign for the Gunners after being asked to prove himself. "Zlatan doesn't do auditions" was his famous assessment)
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