#years of bottling up because of his attitute

[sp1c3m0nst3r]

This is a rant. Ignore it.

A little context; my toddler niece had to share a bed with my sister and I due to her little baby sister who is not feeling well.

This morning my niece 💩 her diapers when she was asleep, so I set up necessary items to clean her up; diapers, towels and clothes. Since her clothes were already folded and put away, I had to went into their room. Her parents, my brother and his wife, still sleeping on the bed under the covers so I quickly snuck in to get the clothes.

That's it.

To clarify, I rather not sneak in. But their doors were unlock, so I thought might as well. And if I didn't get her clothes, you know, just clean her off, give her a shower and let her wear her pj, my brother would be reprimand me for not getting her day clothes.

This always happen with him; do A when do B but also do E when do B. 🙄

Guess what he did today? He lectured me as if I don't have any manners . I told him that he done the same thing in the past; my sister was in the bathroom, he can clearly hear the water running but went in anyway. You know what he said to me when I mentioned it? He told me mum was "needing a hand" so he unlocked the door and went in.

First of; no, mum didn't need a hand. If she did, why can't you offer yours back then? And this situation happens many times.

And he sprinkled different scenario; me opening random hotel door for to look into a pretty room. Like, what? Have I done something like this in my entire life? Fck no. I don't randomly open door because of stupid reasons. He must be think that I was born yesterday or something.

Then the icing on the cake; he want me to apologize to him. I did, and I told him I'm not doing it again. And very less likely so. Why bother doing the same thing over when you got scolded, even if it wasn't your doing.

Did he let it go after that like an adult? No, to show his "goodwill" he asked whether or not I have my passport and to check the expiration date if I have one. Why he asked? Because he want to bring me to vacation.

Fuck to the hell no.

First of all, I have agoraphobia. I hate going outside the house. Leaving the house for long extended of time, the house will descend to chaos. So that's a big NO.

through out all this, I was very, very offended and angry. He made a remarked on my expression, I told him twice that I can't help my emotions showing on my face.

It must be feel nice to be high and mighty after years of causing my trauma and gaslighting me. 👏👏👏

[romillys]

hi everyone! so glad this is back!

romilly ‘mila’ van der woodsen was spotted in the fashion district adorning the jimmy choo thyra 100 jewel-embellished suede heeled sandals , with some airpod pros on . they’re most likely listening to blinding lights - acoustic by victoria voss . you may know them as romillys or as that casimere jollette lookalike . their twenty fourth birthday just passed . while living in  the upper east side , they’ve gained a bit of a reputation . they’re known to be defensive but on the other hand hard-working . wonder if they’ll be the next person to hit the headlines . ( cis woman / she/her + elle / 23 / she/her )

* character questionaire .

01. if you have three words to describe yourself , what are they ?

focused, daring, confident.

02 . what is your favourite alcoholic drink ?

it’s definitely wine. i used to only drink white but i’ve become really fond of red. my grandpa gave me a bottle of  1982 latour for my twenty first birthday and that was easily the most impressed i’ve ever been with wine. i’m not going to be basic and say dom perignon.

03 . what is your favourite season and why ?

i’ve always loved winter because of the associations of ballet and the performances of the nutcracker. it’s always help a special place in my heart and i continue to feel the same after all these years. plus, i love the parties and dressing up, feel like i can go more glam with more diamonds and sparkles than in the summer.

04 . what’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done ?

it would have to be when i drunkenly booked a vacation to dubai for myself and a few friends after a wine and movie night. i spent a ridiculous amount but the trip was fun and i can safely say my friends and i still talk about it.

* character biography .

the only grand daughter of olivier van der woodsen, romilly would grow up surrounded by luxury olivier was the founder and controlling shareholder of woodsen enterprises, a company has investments in various industries including auto parts, energy, metals, rail cars, casinos, food packaging, real estate, and home fashion. it was more than enough for him to provide for his son and daughter-in-law and now his grand-daughter. like her parents before her, romilly was born into privileged and lived comfortably in an upper east side penthouse where she was waited on by endless nannies and housekeepers. her father was involved in the family business, hoping to be handed olivier’s shares one day but the other showed no sign of willingly stepping down any time soon; her mother a self-absorbed socialite that had her own ideas of how to dominate society meant that childcare did not land with either of them.

her parents were difficult to communicate with and this lead to many nannies leaving just when romilly had started to become attached. they were the closest thing to love that she had received but as they left constantly she would grow up with a great sense of inadequacy. they weren’t in love and it seemed the both of them only valued their own sucesses, not each others. as she grew up, she would become her grandfather’s favourite and it would leave both her parents with green eyes...

romilly always liked dancing and had a special connection with music. every time she heard it she wanted to move. she was too young to understand it but she had natural musicality. when they realised that it was harder for the help to stay, they pushed her onto olivier with the hope that she’d be a distraction to pressure him into taking a step back. The man, although one of the most powerful people in New York City, did have a soft spot for his granddaughter. he was the one that saw potential in her dancing as a child. he was quick to enroll her when she was six and everything else followed.

from that moment on, she would only look forward to dance and seeing her grandfather. he was the only one who understood her passion and was the one encouraging her at every stage. however, her parents were quick to criticise performances or her facial expressions when performing. no matter how hrd she tried, it wasn’t enough to impress them. she started distancing from them after that, only talking to her grandpa and looking to him when she needed emotional sport.

being accepted into the summer intensive programme for the school of american ballet was a game changer for her. she made good friends and loved breathing dance and being surrounded by people who had the same passion. she attended the same intensive two years running and her place there just felt right. the next year, she was enrolled as a full time student at the school of american ballet and moved into halls. it was a freedom she never had before and felt like it was her very first chance to have a real sense of community and support.

romilly worked extremely hard and was definitely one who focused on her success; that had seeped its way through from her parents. she was one of the lucky ones to become an apprentice at new york city ballet and the staff definitely took note. her skill level had almost been at prodigy level and she always maintained a ‘can-do’ attitute. she wouldn’t simply bend into the background.

this year, she became one of the youngest principal dancers in the company and it was the best day of her life. she had become a successful professional ballerina. she has also assisted with some choreography as her creativity has blossomed over the years. now her parents wanted to be proud of her and they did make an effort to see her, although it felt really strained from their side. they had ulterior motives but she wasn’t sure what.

romilly was hit hardest after the announcement of the death of olivier van der woodsen, her grandpa who she had loved so much. after the loss and added pressure, her personality has somewhat shifted. she’s out a lot more in clubs now, making out with people and deciding to lessen her control over herself. besides, she’s now a billionaire in her own right but can even comprehend how much money she actually has. she is more defensive and snaps at her co-workers a lot more. she’s secretive and does keep most things to herself. she’s embarrassed that she’s involved in family disputes over money that she never asked for and now worried that stories are leaking on the internet about her and have the ability to tarnish her image in the ballet world. she feels like if she doesn’t fix it soon, she’ll be on her way out of the company. still, she doesn’t help herself and continues to party and drink a lot more than she should do which leads to easily avoidable drunken stumbles that hurt her...

* extras .

profile:

Full Name: romilly annabeth van der woodsen

Nickname(s): mila, tiny dancer, ro

Age: twenty four

Date of Birth: december 19, 1996

Hometown: new york city, new york

Current Location:  new york city, new york  

Ethnicity: white

Nationality: american

Gender: cis woman

Pronouns: she/her

Orientation: bi romantic & bi sexual

Religion: none

Political Affiliation: none

Occupation: principal ballerina at new york city ballet

Living Arrangements: upper east side penthouse previously owned by olivier van der woodsen

Language(s) Spoken: english, french, chinese

Hair Colour: blonde

Eye Colour: blue

Height: 5′4″

Build: slender

Tattoos: none

Piercings: ears

aesthetics

a fully stocked wine cabinet, diamante earrings, chanel pumps, silk crop tops, crystal embellished stilettos, a pile of pointe shoes discarded in the corner of the main room, marble flooring, roof to floor windows, bobby pins gathering at the bottom of her purse, quickly applying glitter eyeshadow with her fingers, a collection of nude palettes and diamante earrings, deleting emails without reading them, golden chandeliers, rejected calls from parents, tops with puffed sleeves, berets, nineties colored purses, twenty hour days and booking trips aborad while under the influence.