#yeonjun.cdupdate

[cursed-dream-cb]

○Lonely Boy○

The day I realised I was cursed… I  remember it so clearly. Heh… how could I possibly forget? It was the first time I fell for someone… 

Yet another couple, a perfect match. Yeonjun smiled at them as they told them that good news, thanking them for the advice he has given them. It was a wonderful feeling, being in love. He would know. 

For the first time in his life, he laid his eyes on someone who made his heart flutter, burst from his chest and beat with so much emotion that he couldn't help but smile whenever he saw him in the halls. Was this it? Was this the emotion he had been helping others to find all this time? 

He wasn't sure at first. Crushes come and go, surely he was the same? Yet… each time their eyes met, Yeonjun couldn't help but smile. His would cheeks would burn from just how long he held his grins. His heart would beat so fast it would hurt and his head would spin with thoughts of the man he had fallen for. 

What was he meant to do? Despite his title of Cupid, he had never once found someone that felt right for him. He longed for him. Every day and every night each thought was plagued by him. He lived and breathed him. 

He was all he wanted. He was all Yeonjun knew he needed. It was unbearable. The boy grew sick with envy any time his gaze met another. The anger he felt when he would talk to anyone else was unmatched. He was his but he just hadn't realised it for himself. 

You're Cupid… He thought to himself. Come on Yeonjun, just follow your own advice. Just talk to him…

It was a trial, working up the nerve to speak to him. No matter how many times he tried, he always seemed to miss his opportunity. Words would fail him. His vocabulary left him the moment he was close, replaced with a slew of pathetic gasps and whimpers. By God, it was unbearable. 

A single breath around him would cause his lungs to flare or his head to cloud with doubt. He thought if he just avoided him, the feeling would go away and yet they followed him everywhere, burdening him to no end. Just the mention of the boy would cause him to choke on the emotions he had bottled up over the weeks he had dreamed of him. 

Was this love? Was this what he was helping people achieve? 

Standing was a chore. He could barely walk let alone speak. His legs felt weak and could only carry him so far before he had to lean against something and rest.

Maybe… Just maybe, if he could get him to fall for him, he would finally be relieved of his misery.

Yeonjun looked sick. Nay, the boy was barely alive. His pale skin was covered in veins, his breaths were short and staggered as if he were grasping for what little life he could hang onto. It deterred even the kindest souls in his school. However, he was determined to end this nightmare. 

There he was… the boy he had spent days… weeks… months longing for. A glowing beacon of perfection and charm. 

A coughing fit erupted from the weakened boy seconds after seeing him but he persisted. Clutching the wall for support, his legs hobbled him closer until they were finally faced to face. The boy of his dreams. 

"Shit…" His voice was as angelic as ever. His eyes were wide, sparkling as they always had. "You don't look so hot shouldn't you go to the nurse… hey, wait, you're Choi Yeonjun, right?" 

He… He knew his name? And he smiled when he said it… Yeonjun could feel his spirits being lifted and for the first time since his illness had taken over, he cracked a small grin. 

"Cupid, right? Aw, this is perfect! Look I need a huge favour," Yes, yes anything for you! "There's this girl in my class, god she rocks my world! But I have no idea how to ask her out." 

A… Girl…?

"Think you could talk me up a bit? I really want to take her on a date." 

No… No this is all wrong! 

A girl… A girl! Who? Since when? Why not Yeonjun? 

He stumbled away from him, his first scrambling for something to hold. Why, why fuck why! It was as if all the pain he had felt came crashing down on him in just a few minutes. From head to toe, his body burned, a pain so immense words couldn't describe shooting through him. 

"Holy shit! Dude are you okay?" 

Yeonjun could barely lift his head. He couldn't even scream, withering in agony before the boy who had caused it. Tears flooded his cheeks as sharp gasps left his mouth, the most he could do in search of a cry for help. 

"Fuck, stay here I'll go get-" No! No, he couldn't leave him here. Not like this. Yeonjun grabbed his hand, holding it as tight as he could. 

He clawed at his throat, angry red marks setting in while he struggled. If he could just say it… If he could just confess…

"I-I… l-l…" Come on Yeonjun! "I…" COME ON! "I love you!" 

Silence…

Bitter… Painful… Silence. 

The boy looked down at him. His eyes were wide once more but not from intrigued or excitement… but from uncertainty. His mouth hung open and not a word came out. Yeonjun shook his head and no matter how much he pleaded for him not to go, his hand slowly slipped from his cold grasp. 

He had been rejected. He had been left to suffer by the boy he thought would be his everything… 

"N-No… g-god please, don't go!" 

And he stopped… 

The boy froze in place, confusion filling the faces of both students. Was he going to stay? Had he realised what he had done to Yeonjun's heart? 

The other student stumbled back. His throat seemed to go dry, judging by the way he gulped and his eyes flickered towards his hands. “W-What the…” Slowly, the colour began draining from his body and yet, his panic didn’t last long. Apathy overtook him, his face blank as the life left from his gaze completely. 

He was just… nothing. There was nothing there. No panic, no fear, not even a shred of irritation he was… emotionless. 

It was that day that I learned as easy as it was to fill people with love, joy, ambition… I could just as easily take it away. I was stupid, I knew why I fell for him but I was too overtaken by emotion to realise I was hurting myself… I haven’t fallen for anyone since. But hey, if I can’t have love, at least I can help others find it, right?

[cursed-dream-cb]

○Yeonjun Update○

"𝐴𝑙𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡, 𝑖𝑠 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑗𝑜𝑘𝑒𝑠? 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑤𝑎𝑠... 𝑊𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑦 𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑒. 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑢𝑠𝑢𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑑𝑜 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑦 𝑏𝑖𝑟𝑡ℎ𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑. 𝑆𝑒𝑒𝑚𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑡𝑜𝑔𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑚𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑎 𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑟. 𝐺𝑦𝑢 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐾𝑎𝑖 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑏��𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑚𝑒 𝑎... 𝑊𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝐼 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑠𝑢𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑎 𝑐𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑖𝑡 𝑡𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡 𝑒𝑖𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝑎𝑦. 𝐼'𝑚 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑛𝑒𝑥𝑡 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑛𝑜𝑤!"

@yourguardiancb @clairvoyantbeasts-cb @project-takeover @vivzie-kpop-cb @uridealbf-cb @cupidcity @supernaturalcb @darkmoonsiblings @multirae-oc @purgatoryxbot @faithxocs @helluvaboss-cb @godsxbot @idolpack-chats @yourbffactory @reve-rv @hideawaycb @fantasyaespa @logan-oc-cb

[cursed-dream-cb]

○Yeonjun's Desire○

What do I desire? That's a hard one... I suppose I want many things in life. A good job, a nice home and a family of my own. But who doesn't want that? I hate to be picky, I'm already content with what I have but sometimes... I can't help but want more. I want to share this life with someone special. To take care of someone and love them with everything I have... But it seems I'm destined to be alone.

It was in middle school when I matched my first couple. A boy and girl in my class had crushes on one another. I could always tell who was a perfect match and who wasn't. Who would be healthy and who would be toxic. One year, in high school, I helped everyone in class find a date to our Valentine's dance... But no one thought to ask me. Sad, isn't it? To be alone on Valentine's Day while everyone else around you is happy. At least they get to enjoy the feeling of love, showing the adoration they have for another whenever they please.

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. But that's life, isn't it?

All I desire... Is someone who will love me and that I can love back. It wasn't god's plan for me but it's all I've ever wanted.