#yes it is self discipline & healing fueling my attempts to keep my life together. it's also spite | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aropride · 7 months

Text

every day i leave my room and i go to the dining hall or the lobby or whatever and i’m being so brave and like yeah it’s for me so i don’t go fucking crazy in my room alone again but it’s also bc i hope every time they see me it reminds them what they did. i hope they feel like a tenth of the shame i live with constantly when they see me. like. fucking look at me. i’m still here. you can’t hide from what you did any more than you can hide from the dining hall. and i hope someday they’re more ashamed than i am

#text #yes it is self discipline & healing fueling my attempts to keep my life together. it's also spite #like well whatever! i'll just stay here til my body gives out i suppose #they wouldnt look me in the eyes that one time they tried to talk to me and my friends they looked them in the eyes but not me.#bc they KNOW what they did was fucked up. they knew from the second they started freaking out in my messages #bc why would someone who didn't do anything wrong act like that. they know it was fucked up they know it was wrong #and by god i have made it my life's mission to remind them.#and if reminding them means focusing all my energy into calming my central nervous system while i finish my mountain dew #or nearly passing out in the building lobby when they hold the door open for me (JUST USE THE FUCKING BUTTON LIKE A NORMAL PERSON)#then i guess i'll do that. until my body gives out i suppose.#sa tw #&Well i meant for this to go on another blog but i saved it as a draft on here and i cant change it and im too lazy to copy paste #so here's a glimpse into my brain. as a treat.

8 notes · View notes