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#yk life's a journey. all these imperfections come with it n with time we grow and grow
noxtivagus
·
2 years
Text
gna be productive now
#🌙.vent
#i'll delete those later you see nothing rn !!!!
#i feel better after. what crying for an hour n writing
#that said i have wasted time as well though so. i feel. rather empty still. idk but. i have to do this all
#i have No energy but i really wna reply back to my friends n all
#yeah that's the thing i could just make myself take steps for something better but
#it feels so weird n empty if i just force it
#maybe good will come out of it but i hate how weird n empty n. how forced it feels
#yk every single second and emotion and thought matters a lot to me
#it both spurs me onwards as well as simultaneously weigh me down
#goddamn it's overwhelming but. sometimes it's really hard for me to just really accept that
#yk life's a journey. all these imperfections come with it n with time we grow and grow
#the world is very imperfect and we are too
#i'm so confused wait theres really so much in my head ;;;; but one thing i know for sure is that
#i don't have to be this harsh to myself when it comes to improving. like fuck time we all should be able to do this at our own pace
#pressure pressure it feels like i'm both falling behind n am too far ahead at the same time. how confusing
#that said perdev earlier w school reminded me that oh maybe i'm like this bcs i don't really have. a very stable support system
#i manage a lot better if i at least have a friend or smth but i think recently i've been unintentionally
#distancing myself. i usually isolate when i struggle bcs i don't want to be a burden but it just makes everything worse for me
#that said thinking about the kind of comfort i would 'ideally' like right now
#a shoulder to cry on? a warm hug? some words too or. another form of affection just to remind me in those moments that. you love me
#goddamn i really do mean it huh when i say love's a big motive for me T_T it's. pure though and really from the heart
#my love for the universe; i want to learn so much. my love for life; i appreciate so much. my love for myself; i want the best for myself.
#n a reminder that i'm loved has always given me strength. to get up again and be kind to myself
#yk what's done is done n regret wtvr n all but it's best to just. be kind to yourself. if you can. it's hard but that's really yeah
#do better in the future but really accept n all that yeah mistakes are normal n human
#it really is hard but i just need to remind myself constantly and practice that. i'm human too. meaning i'll always
#we'll always be deserving of receiving the same kindness we give to others. n wholly accept it. unconditionally
#one at a time at my own pace. fuck my perfectionism making me forget n lose the meaning of my passions n ambitions n wishes
#improving.. T_T defeats its purpose if this is my approach to it. fuck the word 'need' right now i'll just do my best to be kind for myself
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