#you all don’t understand this is the hyunjae vlive that broke me

[aliwritesss]

~ Nothin’ like us

Pairings: Hyunjae x reader

Genre: idol au, angst, happy ending

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You didn’t expect it. Not in the slightest.

No one from your group prepared anything and now you have to pull up something or you’ll be embarrassed on national TV. You can feel the stares and uncomfortable shifts from your members, no one thought they’d ask so suddenly to sing, since it was supposed to be a interview. Answer some questions, joke around for a bit and you’ll be able to go home.

- These days your group is quite famous for doing covers! One even went viral a few days ago... When I saw it I got so emotional, it was really touching -. Oh god, I can’t do this you think. You feel the hand of one of the girls touch you slightly, telling they’re here. If they’re talking about the one you did on vlive, it’s not going to end well. You were live just chilling with your fans and suddenly that song popped up, making everyone ask you to sing a bit.

- So I hope I’m not asking too much, but (Y/N) would you sing a bit for us? - You can feel sweat dripping from your back. That song meant the world to you, and you were not ready to sing it live with so many people staring at you. One thing is doing it in a live in your practice room where you are with your fans, being safe from tricky questions but this was different.

- I know you didn’t prepare it but I really hope it’s okay -. Says the MC looking at you with puppy eyes and you see how Sonbok, the leader of your group, is going to kindly decline the offer but that’ll be worse, it’ll look unprofessional and will make the atmosphere tense.

- Yeah, okay -. You say before she can say anything and you feel her looking worriedly at you. They know you weren’t ready to do it, they might ask questions after and will make the situation worse.

- Great! We even prepared a piano, we knew you wouldn’t let us down -. Says the MC happily and you see the staff taking out a small electric piano. You let nervous sigh and and go to take a seat.

- So... The song is Nothin like us... I hope you like it -. You say trembling. The song that makes your heart break for Hyunjae, your ex-boyfriend.

(...Lately I've been thinking, thinking 'bout what we had.

I know it was hard, it was all that we knew, yeah...)

You start singing with a trembling voice. All the memories suddenly come to you, hitting you like a car. It’s been almost a month since you broke up with Hyunjae and you didn’t move on, the pain felt the same way as it did the first day, unbearable.

You two met two years ago in a music show and since that day you’ve been in love with him. The way he’s shy at first, looking at everyone so serious and only standing there, it made you curious. “Why doesn’t he say anything? Maybe he doesn’t like me?” Boy, were you wrong... Once you started to get comfortable with each other, it was chaos.

He made you laugh, could make you shiver like no one did before, knew how you were feeling by just looking at you. He even was there when no one was. Didn’t leave your side even in the darkest times.

But it’s all gone now.

(...Have you been drinking to take all the pain away?

I wish that I could give you what you deserve…)

That’s what you wanted to say to him. Are you doing okay? You deserve the whole world and I’m sorry I can't give it to you.

Kevin and Changmin told you that he was miserable, he wouldn’t eat for days and couldn’t focus properly when they practiced. They begged you to talk to him, to tell him that it's gonna be okay, that you were there for him but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. No when you knew he deserved better. Someone who could be there for him.

Even though the breakup was mutual because of your schedules, you both knew you didn’t want to do it. And that’s the worst part, when you can’t be with the person you love.

(...Cause nothing can ever, ever replace you

Nothing can make me feel like you do…)

You feel your voice starting to break, but you keep going. The day after you broke up, the first thought that came to your mind was “ I can’t do this, I can’t do this without him.”

You remembered the first night you spent together, both of you just finished your promotions for your comeback and were tired as hell. But one day you received a message from him telling you “ Pack some things, we’re going on a trip. Picking you up in 20.” Till this day, that is your best weekend ever.

You went to the outskirts of Seoul, nothing too fancy. Only a little house in the middle of a forest to have some privacy, and since it was the end of September it wasn’t too hot or cold.

He was so excited to be there with you and kept saying the whole ride how he was going to prepare some fancy dinner, but that ended up with the two of you making a mess in the kitchen and eating ramen on the floor.

You still have this pic of him, having flour all over his face, trying to kiss you with the biggest smile.

(...You know there's no one, I can relate to

And know we won't find a love that's so true…)

You start to feel tears in the corner of your eyes but at this point you don’t care anymore.

“ I just want to tell you before I go that you made me so happy, and I’m thankful to have met you. You’ll always be my first love and I hope I can find you in another life, one that we can be together forever” That’s what he said the day you both broke up. You were so angry with the universe, Why did you have to meet the love of your life only to not be together?

The hardships, the rumors, the stress, the fans, the pressure… No one could relate like him. No one understood you like him.

And you knew you needed him to keep your sanity.

(...I gave you everything, baby, everything I had to give

Girl, why would you push me away? yeah….)

You both gave everything in this relationship.

He was your first time and you were his, in every aspect. He was so caring, it made you feel like a goddess. Every time your skin touched his, you felt the electricity.

Thanks to him, you were able to finally understand what true love is. What it means to have a friend, a lover, a confidant, a partner in crime all in one person. He was the reason you could keep going everyday.

But as the days went by, both of you started to grow apart because of schedules… So many things to prepare. You couldn't see the difference between day or night anymore. However even though you both tried with all your power to make it work, it wasn’t possible, the day only had 24 hours and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't find time for your relationship.

(...Lost in confusion, like an illusion

You know I'm used to making your day…)

You remember the nights you spent in their practice room, watching them dance and practice for their performances. How many sleepless nights you spent with them, but you didn’t care the slightest because every hour was worth it.

How many times have you called him crying in the middle of a day because you thought you couldn’t do this anymore? But you only needed to hear him laugh to make you feel better.

How many times did you send selcas in between your schedules? Or how many times did he send you dorky and cute videos telling you how much he loved you?

You still have every single pic and video in your phone, and you weren’t going to delete them any time soon.

(...But that is the past now, we didn't last now

I guess that this is meant to be, yeah

Tell me was it worth it? We were so perfect…)

This part hits you home and that’s when your tears start to fall.

You would live this life again if that meant being with Hyunjae. You love him so much, and are so grateful to have met him that even if you didn’t get your happy ending, you would go through hell again only for a last kiss.

Every single minute was worth it.

(...There's nothing like us, there's nothing like you and me

Together through the storm

There's nothing like us, there's nothing like you and me

Together…)

You’re not singing anymore for the people.

You’re only singing to Hyunjae and you mean every word.

There’s nothing like your relationship.

There’s nothing like him and you together.

There’s nothing like your love.

You finish the song with your eyes closed and trembling hands. Everything is so quiet that you are afraid to open your eyes.

And after that everything goes in a blur, you only remember the MC thanking you many times, the arms of one of the girls wrapped around you, taking you to the car and raining non-stop.

You finally get home and can’t wait to go straight to your room and cry your eyes out. You get out of your car and start running to your dorms, only to find someone sitting in the rain.

To find the love of your life waiting for you.

You stare at each other for a few seconds, and once you realize he’s actually there you go straight to him running and wrap yourself around him. How much have you missed his arms, his kisses. He was your safe place.

- I saw it -. He says quietly and you know he’s crying too. - You don't know how much I missed you, love-. You feel the rain pouring but you don’t care anymore, if you are with him you’ll get together through the storm.

- I’m not gonna let you go ever again. Because there’s nothin like us -.