#you always gave me the best steve asks 🫠

[loveshotzz]

Forgive me Leighanne, I can’t stop imagining the shudder running through older!Steve when he pushes into you. The way the muscles of his back tense as he slides in slowly to savor the feel of his cock dragging against your warm wet walls after so long. Can’t stop thinking about the shaky exhale he breathes into your ear when he’s fully in you or how he’d kiss your ear and tell you how good you feel.

Ok I’m done blowing your inbox up.

[pagesfromthevoid]

how could you hurt us so

False God | m.m. | 35

Matt Murdock x Avenger!reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: Angst. Major character death.

Author’s Note: By hurting myself as well 🫠🫠 gif from @emziess

Series Masterlist | Talk to Me! | Buy me a coffee?

Space was…space was overwhelming. And terrifying. And nothing like she actually expected it to be.

Though she never expected to ever go to space; at least not against her will. And especially not after just making up with Matt. 

But there she was, standing on an alien planet, trying to keep hold on Thanos’s thoughts while they pried the gauntlet from his hand. Mantis –an alien with emotional manipulation abilities –was trying her best to sedate the mad titan. Coupled with her ability to keep his thoughts in a suspended trance –it seemed like it was going to work. They were so close to ending the fight before it could get worse. 

But then Peter Quill –Star Lord as he insisted on being called –lost his cool. The android-like alien, Nebula, whispered something; she didn’t quite pick up on it at first. But then Quill  demanded something about Gamora, and when Thanos was not capable of giving him the answer he wanted…well, Quill punched the alien in the face. Tony screamed at him angrily, but it was too late. The control she and Mantis had over Thanos broke.

All hell broke loose from there, leaving her and Peter scrambling to help Tony try to grab Thanos again. But he wasn’t like Fisk or Loki; he was stronger. Thanos grabbed Tony by the throat and held him up, explaining that his plan was necessary. And then Strange did what none of them thought he would: he gave up the time stone to Thanos in exchange for Tony’s life. The titan took the deal without question, dropping the hero to the ground. 

Thanos left them there then, stranded on a planet that was not theirs. Waiting, praying, hoping that on Earth, Steve and the rest were able to finish what they couldn’t. She dropped to the ground, sitting with her knees against her chest as her thoughts drifted to Matt, who didn’t know what happened to her. She had promised she would be back soon but instead, she was trapped on an abandoned planet. She thought about how they had finally figured themselves out. How they were finally able to step back into one another’s lives. 

And now, there was a solid chance that wouldn’t happen. 

The thoughts around her hand turned frantic suddenly, and she turned to Peter who looked like he was in a panic.

“I…Mr. Stark, I don’t feel so good,” Peter murmured, holding his chest.

She took a deep breath, reaching out to Peter as he reached out and clung to Tony. Around her, she watched one by one as Quill, and Mantis, and then Strange simply blew away with the wind. She could hear the confusion in their minds before they simply disappeared. But Peter was panicking; he could feel it. She could feel it through him as she cried out for Tony and Peter, grabbing onto both before finally succumbing.

And then…she was gone.

                                            *****

Matt had done what she had asked and evacuated the civilians with Dr. Banner, who was distraught to say the least. When the two parted –with Banner promising that things would be fine and she would be fine (“She’s always fine. Her and Nat are always fine”) –Matt returned to the office to find Foggy and Karen and ensure they were safe. 

When she didn’t return his calls, though, Matt started to panic.

When she wasn’t at the apartment, or at FEAST, or at the school –Matt realized something was wrong.

After two days of her being missing, and no one picking up his calls –not Stark, nor Peter or Natasha. Not even Sam picked up the phone….Matt feared the worst. There was something happening that the rest of the world was not aware of. And Matt knew that she had to be in the middle of it; she always was.

By the end of the second day, Matt stood on the rooftop of FEAST and waited for any signs of distress. While he hadn’t given up the Daredevil mantle, he hadn’t been as active. There was no need for him lately. But he felt something was wrong –deep down inside his soul. There was something about to go wrong and he couldn’t sit around and just not try to stop it. He couldn’t –not if it meant getting her home safely.

Except…except in one overwhelming minute, it felt like half the city just stopped. The sounds of heartbeats that he knew well; of people walking and talking and yelling at one another. The usual sounds of the city…it was like it just got quieter all of a sudden. And then the city filled with screams of horror and confusion. Cars crashing into buildings, frantic cries for help. Matt couldn’t pinpoint where all of it was happening because it was everywhere. All around him were screams, pleas, and horror. 

Matt took off from the roof, landing in the alley before pushing the door of FEAST open. May’s heartbeat was gone now, but she had been there just moments before. He knew she was there; she had offered to bring him dinner as she paced waiting for Peter. But it was like she was never there. He slowly walked through  the kitchen, listening for anyone or anything. The building was loud, with crying echoing through the shelter area of the charity. Mothers sobbing over their children, children begging for their parents…He ran his hand over the countertop, trying to get a feel for the vibrations.

But his hand ran through what felt like ash. And he lifted his hand up, rubbing his fingers together with his brow furrowed under his mask. It had a familiar smell; not like it was ash from a fire, but floral. Like perfume. 

Like May’s perfume.

Matt stumbled back, realizing that the smell of May’s perfume was literally scattered on the floor of the kitchen. 

Foggy. Foggy. Foggy.

With shaking hands, Matt pulled out his phone, trembling as he answered. “F-Foggy? Are you okay?”

“Matt, oh god. You’re okay. Y-you’re alive,” Foggy cried, and Matt could hear the fear in his voice. “Matt, it’s Karen…she…” 

His heart dropped into his stomach. “Foggy, what’s wrong? What happened to Karen?”

“She…I think she’s dead…she just…” Foggy’s voice cracked as he covered his mouth, holding back a sob. “She turned to ash, Matt. Just…just there, at her desk. And I-I don’t…Matt, what the hell is going on?”

“I don’t know,” Matt whispered, taking a moment to try to process everything that was going on around him. “I…I don’t know, Foggy.”

                                       *****

Her phone was off –or dead. It didn’t matter, because every time he called, it went straight to voicemail.

“You can leave a message, but unless you’re my lawyer, I won’t call you back.”

It was her voice, and he was starting to call simply to hear it after two weeks of nothing.

Matt considered going to the Avengers Compound; maybe she was there. Maybe she was injured and they couldn’t reach him. But he didn’t even know where the compound was; while it wasn’t necessarily a secret, he didn’t even have an address. And he was certain he couldn’t just Google “Avengers Compound Address.”

“You probably could,” Foggy offered, sitting on the floor of Matt’s apartment nursing a beer.

The two had pretty much moved back in together since what happened. Foggy had gone home to Marci’s ashes as well, and he couldn’t stay there. He just…he couldn’t. So Matt offered him the guest room in his apartment, and it was like college all over again. Except so much worse.

“I…what am I going to do? Just storm in, demanding where she is?” Matt asked, leaning his head back on the couch.

“You’ve definitely done worse,” Foggy reminded him, closing his eyes as he leaned against the couch too. He certainly wasn’t wrong; Matt had done far worse than storming into a building asking questions. But even that seemed ridiculous to do, for some reason. “Buddy…you have to think by now…”

Matt shook his head, leaning forward now to rest his elbows on his legs. His chest ached at the thought of her actually being gone. Foggy had done well not bringing it up in the last few weeks. Holding out hope. But…

“Don’t.”

“Matt…”

“Maybe she’s trying to get back at me for what I did to her –”

“She wouldn’t do that.”

Foggy was right. She wouldn’t do that to him. Not after everything they’d done to make up and fix their issues. Deep down, Matt knew that she was gone. He knew she was dead, and gone, and that was it. She had either died fighting or turned to ash like the rest of the world did. Regardless, deep down, Matt knew.

He just couldn’t accept it. Not yet, anyway.

Matt ran his hands over his face. “Try to find that address. I…we’ll go tomorrow.”

Foggy sat up, looking up at Matt with a deep frown. Foggy knew he shouldn’t be enabling this; but Matt was still in the denial step of grieving. Maybe this would jumpstart the next step…

                                            *****

“Are you really going to just storm in?” Foggy whispered as they walked up the sidewalk of the compound. “Also I can’t believe they have no security here.”

“They’re superheroes, Fog. I don’t think they need security,” Matt pointed out, though Foggy stopped him at the entrance of the compound. “I…I guess we can just…knock?”

Foggy hesitated for a moment, then took a breath. Matt raised his fist to the door, but it slid open without touching it.

“Welcome, Mr. Murdock, Mr. Nelson,” a female voice greeted. But there was no one in the entry to actually see. It was almost robotic. “The team is in the main space –down the entryway, to the left into the first door, with Mr. Stark. They have been alerted to your arrival.”

Foggy looked at Matt, feeling uneasy. But Matt just shook his head, leaning over. “This is probably Stark’s AI –I think it’s name is FRIDAY.”

“Does he not remember what happened with Ultron?”

“That’s a sore subject, Mr. Nelson,” FRIDAY commented. 

Foggy straightened up almost immediately, picking up his pace as he walked. “Nope. I don’t like that. No sir.”

Matt couldn’t hold back the light chuckle at Foggy’s distrust of the AI; it was the first thing in weeks that made him even crack a small smile. Though it was soon wiped off his face when he and Foggy entered the main space of the compound. He didn’t need to see them to know everyone was tense; and more importantly, to know that she wasn’t there.

After all, he could pick her heartbeat out in a crowd. There were less than ten people here. And she was not among them.

“Murdock,” Natasha greeted, though her voice was worn out and  rough. She didn’t bother standing from her chair. 

“Ms. Romanoff,” he greeted quietly, taking a moment to process everything he was feeling. “She’s…she’s not here, is she?”

It was Steve Rogers who approached, extending his hand. Foggy took it, then elbowed Matt to do the same. “Mr. Murdock, Mr. Nelson. It’s good to finally meet you both; I’m…I’m sorry it's under these circumstances.”

Matt didn’t take Steve’s hand, though. He simply stared blankly at the hero, trying to control his breathing. Trying to control his emotions entirely, really. Matt’s attention focused then on Tony, who was trying to sit up in the wheelchair he was confined to. He had IV bags attached to him, and Matt’s chest tightened as he listened to the fluids being pushed through the hero’s body.

“What happened?” Matt asked, his voice low as he stepped towards Tony. “I…I just need to know –”

“She fought hard,” Tony admitted, running a hand over his face. He sounded exhausted; defeated. “She fought to the bitter end. But…but she and the kid…” he trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

“They turned’ta dust too. Like the rest of the friggin’ universe.”

Matt glanced over, looking over a shorter figure through his fiery vision. His brow furrowed; it wasn’t human. Foggy practically screamed in surprise as Matt looked at him.

“Is that a fucking raccoon?” Foggy demanded, stepping back behind Matt in horror.

“We call him Build-a-Bear.”

“His name is Rabbit,” Thor corrected, crossing his arms over his chest.

Foggy just shook his head, throwing his hands in the air. “Nope. I’m done. I-I…I can’t do this. This is too much. Aliens, and people disappearing, and now talking raccoons. No way. I can’t.”

The momentary focus on the raccoon took away from the realization that she hadn’t even died fighting. She just…she just disappeared. And Matt was…Matt was done too. He needed to get out; he needed to scream and cry and breakdown. But he needed to wait.

“Foggy, calm down,” Matt reassured, stepping back now as well. “We…we got what we needed from them. We can go.”

He turned, stepping back into the entryway. But Natasha was close on his heels, cutting Foggy off as she followed. “Murdock, wait up.” 

Matt did not stop, though he slowed his pace as he walked out the door. She grabbed his arm, pulling him to a stop. He looked at her, jaw clenched as he tried to keep his cool. Now was not the time to start a fight; now was not the time to scream at Natasha or blame the Avengers for this. But it was their fault, wasn’t it? They probably provoked whatever the aliens were. They lost; they weren’t earth’s heroes –they lost her and what seemed to be half the planet.

“Matt, please,” Natasha pleaded, relaxing her grip on his sleeve. “I…I’m sorry, Matt. I know that it doesn’t cut it, and I know you probably hate all of us. But you are not the only person who lost her. I did too. She was my family. But I’m going to figure out how to bring her back –bring them all back. It’ll get better soon; I don’t care how long it takes –”

“Why should I trust you to do that?” Matt demanded, looking down at her now. “I trusted you to protect her, and to save the world, and do whatever the fuck it is the Avengers do. But you didn’t do that, did you?”

Natasha took a sharp breath, but did not argue as Matt continued.

“I don’t care if you lost her too, Natasha. I know you two were close, and I get that. But I…I just got her back. I just managed to fix everything, to put our lives back together. And then she…she leaves to save the world and doesn’t come back. What do you expect me to say? ‘I’m sorry you lost her too, but it’s okay, we’ll make the best of a bad deal’? The Avengers tried and they failed. And I…I don’t want anything to do with you or this team anymore. This won't go back to normal, if it ever was.”

Matt stormed off without another word. 

———

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