#you can tell by the use of parentheses that I have adhd lol

[facetsofthecloset]

I have been thinking a lot about vampires and my recent ADHD diagnosis and now I’m thinking about vampirism as a metaphor for ADHD (though I’m sure I’m not the first person to make this comparison)

(Warning for personal mental health rambling and suicide mentions) (also blood bc vampires)

The bulk of it is the constant…aching. The world feels like sandpaper on my brain, always and forever, unless I have something distracting me or keeping me focused.

(Or possibly if I get medication. Which I have not yet because did you know Adderall and other stimulant ADHD meds are straight up banned in Japan bc it’s potentially abusable?!?!? I had no idea the laws were THAT fucking draconic bc I’m not really a drug person personally. Like obviously I knew about pot being illegal but ADDERALL?? I’m 100% certain based on personal experience with suicide ideation caused by chronic understimulation that this is a factor in Japan’s high suicide rate!!!! I literally get suicidal when I’m hungry and I’m sure that’s due at least in part to the emotional disregulation and difficulty identifying emotions/triggers, although I need to discuss that with my psychiatrist next time!)

Lots of vampire stories/lore touch on the hunger for blood in kind of similar terms, or at least in ways that aren’t too far off.

A deep down, uncontrollable and insatiable longing, a drive that can cause you to fixate on achieving a goal that you think will satisfy you, yet every success has a hollowness at its core bc you KNOW that satiation is temporary?

A drive that can be destructive and detrimental to you and everyone around you if you’re not careful or always mindful?

A need that can be overpowering, intoxicating, pushing you to temptation and impulse, or subtle and pervasive and creeping in the background?

Familiar, right?

At least vampires know there’s one answer that will satisfy them every time, even if it’s temporary. People with ADHD have to jump from stimulus to stimulus, spending so much energy just searching for a solution, never knowing what might do the trick.

Or having something that works today be a useless dried out husk tomorrow.

Then there’s the tendency of ADHD folks to be night owls—not always of course, but I think it’s relatively common? Or at least having irregular/unaligned-to-broader-society sleep schedules. Oh, and schedules, who ever heard of a vampire with schedules? (Don’t @ me I’m sure there are plenty of examples in media 😂, but I’m talking your stereotypical pop culture Dracula [and not to actual book Dracula since that guy actually seems to have had a schedule or at least an agenda lol])

Discworld vampires who take up the Black Ribbon (a vow to not drink human blood for those who don’t know) do it by switching their fixation on drinking blood to something else—explicit textual examples being light (in practice photography)(Otto Chriek my beloved) and coffee (don’t let the beans run out). I think you can argue this as more of a special interest than hyperfixation, but they’re along similar lines.

You can also talk about the social isolation. It’s not always true but plenty of people with ADHD have a hard time in general society bc the way we think doesn’t align. Vampiric isolation tends to be more along the lines of not wanting to live near something that could and would kill you so obviously not a one to one there, but there’s also lots of media that depict sympathetic vampires who WANT to be part of society “normally” but can’t bc people don’t understand them and thus don’t want them around.

I don’t really know how to end this, it’s just something I was thinking about today. I’ve always liked vampires as a concept but never thought about the need for blood as the main appeal—but maybe subconsciously I was relating to it?

Idk I’m dizzy and tired and want the sandpaper to go away. I’m gonna go play around with my vampire OC lol

[trixterthefemboy]

I HAVE DISCOVERED HOW TO TUMBL!

How do you do, fellow tumblrs? Uhhh this is a big about me post thing kinda like I've seen other folks do so I'm gonna section it probably! Yeah!

the GENDER STUFF: I'm non-binary, I use they/them pronouns, I consider myself a femboy because I'm like, I'm not quite male or female in gender, somewhere in the middle, but I like to dress fem while not identifying as female and I really like the word so yeah-

the BRAIN STUFF: I'm part of a system with either DID or something like it, I'm the one fronting the vast majority of the time nowadays. I think I probably have ADHD and/or autism as well, but I'm untested for both.

the INTEREST STUFF: I'm a gamer and self-described nerd, my favorites to play at time of writing are Satisfactory and Rain World(which is also my favorite game of all time in like a dozen categories, and my hyperfixation on it is genuinely one of the reasons I think I'm ADHD or autistic lmao-), and a certified silly fella :3 I'm also a furry, my sona's a cheetah with lavender fur dye, I go back and forth on maybe giving them cybernetics, all art I have of them was made by my friend Darknesslord640 (he's not on this site afaik) fave songs are The Mind Electric, Memory Merge, and The Chattering Lack Of Common Sense :3

...as you can prolly tell I overuse parentheses lol

uhmmmm yeah das 'bout it I think

if you wanna talk to me on a platform I actually remember to use more than once a month, I'm on Discord as trixter1980. Yes I kept my discriminator out of spite.

[foxgloveinspace]

Andrew Minyard is ADHD:

I said I would only really write this if people were interested, but I lied, lol. WAIT One person liked the og post while I was typing this, so there's interest and it’s justified! Lol.

Ok, I’ve seen other posts talking about this, but some of them used some things that I didn’t agree with, so I’m gonna do my own.

I wanna set the preface of, if you see Andrew as ADHD, awesome! If you don’t, that's great too! In reality, this is all speculation, and self projecting, and my desire for actually good representation of ADHD characters that are not stereotypical, so if you see Andrew as something different, that is completely and totally a-okay.

-ADHD has three types, inattentive (formally known as ADD), hyperactive (previously just ADHD) and combined type. Some people prefer calling it Executive Function Disorder (EFD), because Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder describes how it affects people around ADHDers, more than it affects ADHDers. For the sake of this, I’m going to refer to it as ADHD, because it’s more commonly known, and it’s what I call it for myself. I also acknowledge that according to the timeline, Andrew would probably be diagnosed with ADD (if he ever got diagnosed, that is, which I don’t know if he would or not). Please keep all this information in mind.

Things that would be explained if Andrew was ADHD:

Instead of reason’s I think Andrew is adhd in canon, I mostly have thing’s I think could be explained if he was:

-Why he ‘hates’ exy:

This is a big reason in my mind, he is very insistent he doesn’t like exy and I can explain why he actually doesn’t with him being ADHD.

He started playing in juvie, as something to do, it’s a good way to completely clear his mind and concentrate on something that he is actually good at, which is instant gratification, it's something ADHDer’s experience a lot. It’s one of the main reasons ADHDer’s love video games (if your curious there are videos on youtube explaining this. I am ADHD and this is already overwhelming enough for me than trying to explain this as well).

Andrew only tries at exy when he is in the goal, otherwise he couldn’t give less of a fuck about it. He doesn’t care about stats of other teams, or watching other peoples games, it’s only interesting to him when he’s in the goal or when other people make bets/dares with him; “can you shut down the goal?” “pick a number” playing while coming down from his meds for a long period of time, things like that. Making it interesting, keeping himself engaged with it, is a big thing for him. Again, instant gratification. And also an explanation for why outside of the court, when people try to talk to him about the sport, he doesn’t care, he ‘hates’ it. Cause he does. He hates talking about, that doesn’t interest him. It’s boring and not what gives his brain satisfaction within the sport itself.

-Spending habits (TW: Not sure how to tag this tbh, but Andrew being prepared to die? I’ll put it in double parentheses, just incase):

((While I am of the firm belief that the number one reason that Andrew bought the first car is cause he completely wasn't expecting to live through the crash and then had no idea what to do with that amount of money when he wasn't expecting to live)), ADHD would also explain why he buys such expensive stuff. Again, it's instant gratification. It's like trying to tell yourself to wait for something you really want as an award. What's the point when you can have it now? He goes out and buys the most expensive cars he can cause it scratches that itch in his brain.

- Subcategory to spending, Daredevil:

It could also have to do with going fast. Most 'daredevils' are actually ADHDers. Going fast and doing daring things triggers chemicals in our brains, same as hyperfixations and instant gratification. In fact, that could also be a reason for sparing with Renee as well.

-Zoning out:

Ask any ADHDer about maladaptive daydreaming, and dissociating. Andrew has been known in canon to lose himself in thought a lot, and stare out in space for extended periods of time. This is very common with ADHD, and while it’s a small thing, it’s something I think about quite a bit, and so I included it.

-Loud Music:

Another way to drown out your own thoughts is to listen to music, and a lot of ADHDers like loud music. Andrew likes loud music while driving fast. This is very ADHD to me.

-His major:

I think this is something else that can be explained with ADHD, as a hyperfixation. Its not something he wants to do with his life, but it's something his brain lets him concentrate on, and therefore, something to do with his time in college, something he doesn't necessarily want to do, and is doing it out of necessity.

-His memory:

Something about adhd is that it is almost always paired with a different thing. Autism and dyslexia are the two most common. So his perfect memory would be something else neurodivergent that could be paired with his ADHD.

-Attachment issues/RSD:

Andrew keeps everyone at arm's length, and while this can be a part of his past, it can also be combined with RSD, or Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. Which can mean any sort of negative attitude towards you can send you into a spiral. So Aaron not being understanding of their deal/promise and pushing him away would be devastating to him on a whole other level, one that feels right for how he acts in canon. But on the other hand he can't let go of Aaron because he is already attached to him. 

Again with Nickey, he's someone that's been in his life for so long it would be devastating for him to just up and leave, especially to an eighteen year old. He would never tell him this, because of RSD, and if Nickey decided to leave despite that, it would have been very devastating to him and Nickey would have never been allowed back into his life, so that would be the number one reason for Andrew to get Nickey into college with him.

ADHDers are also very quick to get attached to people, something we see with Andrew is that once he has decided someone is 'his' he is unshakable in his loyalty.

I hate going into it, but that would be another reason for how he is with Cass, why he is so desperate to stay, despite what is happening in the back ground.

-Emotions:

I know Andrew has reasons for being emotionally distant, but when he feels emotions in canon, anger, he is quick to it, and feels it fully to the point he can't control it. It's very common in ADHD to have no control over how you react to your emotions unless you spend a lot of time doing it, like Andrew has.

-Long Weird Conversations:

The way he talks to Renee, and then Neil, where they jump around from subject to subject, with no discernable connection to the subjects. Like, that's stereotypical ADHD, but one that actually ADHDers relate to. 

-Sensory things:

Things in canon that Andrew does/likes that scream sensory issues or stimming:

-Stimming:

Likes extreme foods (sweet and spicy things).

Has comfort objects (arm bands, while I know they were to hide his scars, I feel like the fact that they don't bug him even in extreme weather is a major factor in them being a weighted stim for him).

Smoking (I don't know how to describe how this is a stim for Andrew, but it is?).

-Sensory Issues (I know most of these have canon reasons, but I wanna say they could be heightened by ADHD, so keep that in mind):

Not eating around other people/eating in small bites. (Hating food textures is a common thing for ADHDer’s).

Being a light sleeper/taking forever to fall asleep. (Brain won't shut off/be quiet).

Wanting a routine but simultaneously hating it. (His love/hate relationship with exy. He never complains about getting up for practice, that Neil mentions, but is constantly hating how repetitive it is. Going to Eden's almost every Friday, where it's the same place but different every time without being too different.)

That's all that I can think of right now. I tried to not mention anything that happened while Andrew was on medication, so the whole 'keep my attention' doesn't really count in my opinion.

Thank you for reading, and maybe I might come back to this and add more someday, but for now it's finished.

In conclusion: Andrew being ADHD makes a lot of sense within canon.