#you cannot get in the ring with cody and expect to beat him on the mic

[cephalopodsquad]

i love that grayson waller thinks he can cut cody deep when cody has literally been in the trenches since he was 17

[wrestlingisfake]

Full Gear preview

Jon Moxley vs. Eddie Kingston - Moxley is defending the AEW men’s world championship.  (He’s also the IWGP United States champion, but that title is not at stake.)  This is an “I quit” match, so the only rule in effect is that the match cannot end until one participant verbally concedes the match; the other participant thereby wins and will be the champion.

Kingston is an unlikely headliner for such a stacked show.  Despite a long and storied career, he’s mainly known for his work on the indies, and his reputation among wrestlers who hold his work in high regard.  It took him until 2020 to get to this level (when he was on the verge of retiring), and even now that he’s in the majors he’s not a top contender.  Lance Archer “eliminated” him to win a September 5 battle royale for a title shot, but the elimination was a blown call.  Kingston bellyached about the finish until he was granted a title match of his own, which Moxley won by ref stoppage.  Kingston continued to make excuses, and had his “family” beat down Moxley.  At this point, Mox is so pissed at his former friend that he’d probably demand this second title match even if Kingston hadn’t issued the challenge.

A big part of this match is that wrestling fandom has woken up about how great Eddie always was, and there’s a lot of excitement about him possibly disrupting the AEW topcard to score a rich reward for 18 years of hard work.  But to me the real selling point here is that it’s an “I quit” match where I genuinely believe both guys would rather die than say the words.  When WWE does these matches, they usually have a heel give in to cowardice, or a babyface surrender to save a friend in distress, or some screwjob with a tape recorder.  I don’t think any of that stuff is going to happen here.  These guys are going to endure some sick shit just for the sake of pride.

I think Moxley has to win and retain the championship, which means he has to make Kingston verbally quit.  I don’t know what the fuck Mox can do to achieve that condition, but it should be fun/gross finding out.

Kenny Omega vs. Hangman Page - This is the final match in an eight-man elimination tournament to determine the next challenger for the AEW men’s world title.  Page defeated Colt Cabana and Wardlow to get here, while Omega defeated Sonny Kiss and Penta El 0M.

I was gonna run down the whole Hangman Page saga, from the day he lost to Chris Jericho to the day Omega walked out on him.  But then AEW did that “Don’t Know What You Got (Till It’s Gone)” video, so now any summary I can provide seems superfluous.  The point here is that Page fell into depression and let his friends down, so Omega broke up their tag team to return to singles competition, and now they’ve managed to cross paths once again.  Is Omega slowly turning heel?  Will he complete that apparent heel turn by mercilessly destroying Page?  Or can they work out their problems in the ring and shake hands when it’s over?  We’ll soon find out.

The smart money is on tonight’s show setting up Jon Moxley vs. Kenny Omega.  However, I don’t think AEW needs to get to that destination right away, so we could potentially see a Page win here to keep the story going.  Expectations are high for this match being very, very good.  Will the story be enough to put it over the top?  I’ve got a good feeling that it will, and that the icing on the cake will be an upset by Page.

Cash Wheeler & Dax Harwood vs. Matt Jackson & Nick Jackson - Wheeler and Cash are FTR, the AEW tag team champions.  Matt and Nick are the Young Bucks, and they earned this title shot by winning a four-way match on October 21.  Matt Jackson has vowed that if the Bucks cannot win this match, they will never again challenge for this championship.

This match has been in the making for years, going back to when Wheeler and Harwood (as Dash Wilder and Scott Dawson, the Revival) emerged as rivals for the Bucks’ status as the top tag team in pro wrestling.  “Fuck The Revival” became a running joke on the Bucks’ Youtube show, right up until Wheeler and Harwood got their releases from WWE in order to come here.  FTR stands for the kind of old-school wrestling that the Bucks thumb their noses at, and FTR’s gimmick is that they bitch just like the kind of old-school wrestling fans who thumb their noses at the Bucks.

The Bucks have been trying to win the tag title since it was first introduced, but they’ve always managed to come up short.  After FTR manipulated Hangman Page into screwing them out of a potential title shot (clearing the way for FTR to win the gold), the Bucks snapped and started trying to regain their edge.  This hasn’t really made a lot of sense, though, because instead of getting more ruthless and intense against their opponents in the ring, they’ve just been behaving like dicks to non-wrestlers backstage.  If their bad attitude had directly led to them getting this match, I think the story might have landed better; as it is, they were selected literally at random to enter the 10/21 four-way, so it didn’t really make any difference.

The stipulation has people buzzing because a) Cody Rhodes had a similar stip a year ago, so we know it’s not a joke, and b) Matt Jackson is working through a knee injury, so it may not make sense for him to win a championship right this minute.  I suppose it’s possible that Matt knows his in-ring days are numbered and this stip is the beginning of the end of his career.  But I think it’s more likely that they just want to set up a scenario where we know the Bucks are behind the 8-ball, to build to more drama when they finally win the belts.  The knock against a Bucks title win is that it’s too soon for FTR to drop the title, but then again I think it would work for the two teams to trade the championship back and forth for a few months.  I’m going with new champs here.

Hikaru Shida vs. Nyla Rose - Shida is defending the AEW women’s world championship, after somebody finally remembered Rose exists.  I’m fine with some major title matches in AEW being thrown together without an epic drama behind them.  But in this case it’s just annoying because everything in the women’s division feels thrown together without much consideration.  I’m guessing Shida retains to keep everything on the same treadmill it’s been on.

Chris Jericho vs. MJF - This is a rare heel vs. heel battle.  If MJF wins, he will be permitted to join Jericho’s stable, the Inner Circle. I was curious what MJF’s next move would be after losing to Jon Moxley on September 5, and this is it.  He’s been angling to get into the group through a series of goofy skits, and he’s assured Jericho that he will do anything to win this match.

The main intrigue here is that the Inner Circle seems divided on whether they even want MJF to join.  Sammy Guevara and Ortiz are so down on MJF that they tried to take him out so he couldn’t get to this match.  Jake Hager and Santana are apparently cool with him, or at least uncommitted.  Jericho acts like he sees MJF as a kindred spirit, but he’s too wily to trust the guy, so his real intentions here are unclear.

The easy way to book this is for MJF to do “anything” by way of convincing some (or all) of Jericho’s lackeys to help him win the match and kick Jericho out of the group.  I think the only fans who aren’t expecting that are the ones who think it’s too obvious.  Of course, any such breakup doesn’t have to be on this show, so everything could be civil here and then the big angle happens in six weeks, or six months.  One way or another, though, we’re going to see how far MJF is willing to go to win, and we’ll be starting the next chapter of the story.  And I really think that chapter has to begin with an MJF victory.

Cody Rhodes vs. Darby Allin - Cody is defending the AEW TNT championship.  This will be their fourth match; Cody currently leads the series 2-0-1.  It feels like they’ve been building up to Darby getting a big win over Cody, and I don’t see the point of going back to this match now unless that win’s finally going to happen.  If Cody retains I think it’ll leave a sour taste in everyone’s mouth, regardless of whether it sets up a Darby win down the road.  So I sure hope Allin wins, because I can’t imagine what else will work in this context.

Matt Hardy vs. Sammy Guevara - This is being billed as “The Elite Deletion,” and I’ve heard it was pre-taped, so I’m guessing it will be a mini-movie kind of match like Undertaker vs. AJ Styles.  Matt Hardy fans will of course recall that he was doing that kind of nonsense before it was cool, going all the way back to 2016′s Final Deletion in TNA and 2018′s Ultimate Deletion in WWE.  (How many deletions can one guy have?)

Everybody knows Hardy and Guevara have had a string of bad luck in their feud, with blowoff matches getting cut short or botched spots leaving Matt injured.  They were supposed to settle things once and for all on September 5, but that turned into a trainwreck so I guess they decided to call a mulligan on that.  The best thing you can say about this match is that, because it’s pre-taped, you can be assured that if anyone got severely hurt it would already be in the news, which makes it easier to watch.

I can’t remember Matt ever losing a mini-movie match, and I don’t think he’ll lose this one either.  Even if I’m not sure how one wins an elite deletion.

Orange Cassidy vs. John Silver - After going 2-1 with Chris Jericho, Cassidy made three unsuccessful attempts to win the TNT title, so he really needs to regain some momentum with a win.  Silver is a prelim guy, so he should be perfect to put Orange over...except there’s a lot of buzz around Silver lately, which is probably what got him booked for this show.  I don’t think Silver can win here, but watch for them to do some stuff to let him look good on his way to doing the job.

Serena Deeb vs. Allysin Kay -  This has been announced for the pre-show.  Deeb is defending the NWA women’s world title, as part of an ongoing collaboration between the NWA and AEW.  What makes this unusual is that Deeb recently signed with AEW, and Kay recently announced her NWA contract has expired, so no matter who wins the belt will be in the hands of an outsider.  I expect this is something of an AEW tryout match for Kay, and if so I doubt she would win here, but I’m rooting for her to do well because the women’s division can use all the help it can get.  I think Deeb retains, although I have no idea what that means for the future of the NWA women’s division.

[danwhobrowses]

General Discussion: All Elite Wrestling (AEW) Part 2

This is a part 2 of a recent dump of stuff I’m talking about in regards to AEW, if you want to see my critiques and comments in hindsight about AEW Check it out on part 1 -> Here Part 2 is gonna revolve around the future, immediate and long-term, starting with the upcoming All Out PPV

All Out 2020

Criticisms about the Buy In aside, All Out still looks like a heavily stacked card, which is always a positive. I do worry a little that the Tooth and Nail match’s addition will cut into others’ time so hopefully everyone gets a good amount, but if people criticise some matches for being too short remember that fan demand insisted that the same Swole/Baker match be on the paid card rather than having a lot of time to show it for free. And as much as people criticise AEW’s women, the women’s matches are among the top 5 most anticipated matches on the card, probably only behind the tag title and world title match, isn’t that a great thing? Not to mention that the women’s title match encourages AEW/NWA relations, which really would make wrestling better if wrestlers could be more fluid in their appearances. But anyway, All Out is something I look forward to, so let’s break down some predictions? (if you’re wondering why I’m not just doing this on a podcast or something, my voice is not the dulcet flowing river of articulation my writing would imply to be, I like having time and proofing my words, plus if I talk to much my tongue swells and I stutter, stammer and suck at eye contact) So my thoughts for the full card

Predictions

The Buy In

Casino Battle Royale - Eddie Kingston. While I’d be down for Fénix, Pentagon, Archer or even a new or returning face like PAC to win, I think Kingston is the safe bet. The man talks like liquid and his match with Cody brought a lot of eyes to the product. This will continue and start new hostilities, but don’t expect anyone who has faced Moxley before to win, AEW don’t do title rematches so much.

Private Party vs Dark Order (Silver and Reynolds) - this quickly put-together match is going to Private Party, because Silver and Reynolds are enhancement tag teams still, they can win but they won’t win often. Plus the more Silver loses the more bits he’ll have with Brodie on BTE and those are gold.

Main Card

Tooth and Nail - Britt Baker, I expect the cinematic match to have shenanigans but also protect Baker in the midst of her injury recovery. While Swole has been doing the physical lifting of the feud I think having Britt lose on her return could be the wrong choice in the long run.

Dark Order vs The Nightmare Family - Dark Order, Brodie has elevated the tag team to the point where they are a big faction, and they need the big win for this. Cardona, Sky and the Natural Nightmares can take this loss too, but I’d expect QT or Dustin to take the fall for this. Bonus prediction that Tay Conti will indeed join the Dark Order with Anna Jay, leading to them beating down Brandi and Allie at ringside (setting up a women’s tag feud that’d explain why they were kept on other sides of the Deadly Draw bracket)

The Young Bucks vs Jurassic Express - This one I have Jurassic Express, it may be an upset because the Bucks are still reeling from Hangman’s betrayal, this can also lead to the Bucks being more heelish to accompany a Cleaner Kenny Omega. Keep your eye on Jungle Boy, AEW are still hot on him for good reason, this’ll be a huge scalping for Jurassic Express if they pull it off.

Broken Rules - A tough one, but I’m gonna stick with the Multifarious Matt Hardy. I don’t think he wants to end his career just yet and AEW would be foolish to let him go. Plus technically Sami is 2-0 in this feud, so it won’t hurt Sami too much to win in Hardy’s wheelhouse.

Mimosa Mayhem - Another tough one to put down the middle, I am gonna go with Orange Cassidy though. I think Jericho wants to amend the sloppy finish Cassidy’s win had and this’ll make for good comedy to see Jericho (and maybe Hager) flailing around in Mimosa

Women’s Title - I will be happy with either winning, but my heart says Shida. Mainly because I think Britt is the one who should take it from her, their last match was a banger after all. Rosa won’t look weak though, they may even have Shida challenge for the NWA women’s title down the line.

Tag Titles - FTR. That’s it, that’s all you need to know. Hangman’s head is out of the game and Kenny is becoming the Cleaner, it’s time for this schism to start properly, they’ve held it for about a year as well, it’s time.

World Title (Moxley cannot use Paradigm Shift) - It’s easy to say MJF, he is the home breed future and Moxley has had a long run defeating tougher opponents, but I am thinking that Moxley will retain. This is mainly because the odds are so stacked against him, he’ll eke out a win despite MJF’s trickery. The challenger will look fantastic to prove that he will be champion some day, but not today. Instead I think MJF will be thwarted by miscommunication, and as he hinted at during his tag match with Jurassic Express, will split from Wardlow for his ‘fatal error’. Then we’ll get Moxley vs Kingston which can be just as fantastic.

Looking to the Future So ‘looking to the future’ is not gonna all be direct consequences of All Out, some of it is just stuff I’d like to see happen, not all of it has to and my enjoyment isn’t killed from it, but certain things would make AEW better in my opinion. Business Relations So of course it’d be great to have more working relationships with other brands, AEW is already close to OWE and AAA, getting NWA on board would be a good step to establishing good relationships with ROH as well, maybe even NJPW. On the women’s side it’d be nice if they made more solid ties with Cyberfight - which has DDT Pro, TJPW and NOAH, maybe even Stardom, Sendai Girls, EVE and Ice Ribbon. More relationships would offer wrestlers not working Dynamite or Dark to perhaps represent elsewhere. In this representing it’d be great to see more outside titles being shown, it’s free advertising really. Thunder Rosa will for sure be carrying her NWA Women’s title but wouldn’t it be cool if other brand titles could be carried; Kenny carrying his AAA title with the tag titles, Cardona his Internet title, Lucha Bros their HOG and AAA Tag titles, Big Swole her Phoenix of Rise title, Moxley his NJPW US title (though I expect him to lose to KENTA soon), Rosa’s TJPW International Princess title as well and Yuka Sakazaki’s TJPW Princess of Princess Title. It may be me but seeing these titles does add an air of legitimacy to the competitors, showing how successful they are overseas while promoting other promotions. I’d also like to pitch a ‘Locked Down’ mini show or segment where AEW could show what their international talent is doing, Emi Sakura’s ChocoPro could be a light hearted segment, PAC could do some solid promos and like showing the titles, it’d expose the roster as talented. New Signings Someone just has to do good to have people ask for AEW to sign them, but in some cases it would be cool to sign them up. Of the frequent flyers right now AEW would be mad not to sign Ivelisse and Diamante, and I’ve already expressed my hopes that they sign Will Hobbs, Serpentico, Shawn Dean, Brian Pillman Jr, Kilynn King, Tay Conti, Veda Scott, Nicole Savoy/Lil’ Swole and Pineapple Pete, but it’d also be good business to at least call up Renee Paquette/Good/Young and Mauro Ranallo, even if it is for some guest appearances. Signing the likes of Danhausen, Warhorse, ‘Speedball’ Mike Bailey, Millie McKenzie, Laura Di Matteo, Lana Austin, Jamie Hayter, Chris Brookes, Maki Itoh, Miyu Yamashita, Mirio (if he wants to come back into wrestling) and AR Fox. This being said, this should only ease into the Second Show, where we can expose more of the current roster as well. Speaking of Which. (A Few) New Accolades With a bigger division will require more competition. Not all of them need to be titles but something to be fought for. MJF’s Diamond Ring and Cage’s FTW title can help in that matter, but I think a Trios Accolade would be next in line for AEW. This would open the door for more teams to compete; The Elite, Jurassic Express, Best Friends, SCU, Dark Order, Nightmare Family, Death Triangle etc. would still keep it competitive and open the door for more stories of faction warfare. Since this is only my thoughts I would love to see the tag division be intergender too but I wouldn’t hold my breath on that. If we do move to this though PLEASE use whoever designed the world and tag belt, not the TNT belt. Faction Bolstering AEW are looking at the NJPW formula or big factions going into war or tensions with one another, which is good since it does make for lines to be written in the sand. But I think the factions can just be a little bit bigger in some places, and some are easy to add in already. Conti joins Dark Order for 2 women there, have Ivelisse and Diamante join the Inner Circle so we have full LAX (plus Ivelisse tagged with Sammy in LU), Statlander can pair with Best Friends and renew BTE’s skits of her and Orange Cassidy’s palpable sexual tension, I would also enjoy the thought of TH2 joining with Kip and Penelope just to be a faction of talented arseholes. May be the crass side of me, but I also seem to want Brian Pillman Jr to join the Gunn Club simply so we can have an entrance theme that starts ‘Someone call 911, Pillman’s got a Gunn’, Vickie Guerrero could grow her managing of Nyla to an all women ‘Las Guerreras’ faction maybe with Kilynn King, Shaul Guerrero, Abadon or someone else would be a decent move in my books but an exciting faction I can see clearly is a Moxley faction with Darby Allin and Lance Archer. Imagine having Jake the Snake taking care of all that, oh yes is that the good stuff. Future Feuds We’ll end with talking about some feuds I hope to see down the line too, even if they’re not set up already. I’ve already expressed my want for Kingston vs Moxley but another Kingston feud I see in the making is against PAC, Kingston is the man with the plan but PAC will want his Death Triangle buddies back. Speaking of, Moxley could use some bangers with Fenix and Pentagon, both are megastars. While the tag division is looking like it’ll lead to FTR vs Bucks, I think the bigger money is FTR vs Bucks vs Hangman and Kenny first, with Kenny having the Elite ties and Hangman with the FTR ties the storytelling would be ridiculously immense. This thought almost made me pick Hangman and Kenny to win at All Out...almost. I would expect a lot of title defenses from Mr. Brodie Lee, particularly from Cardona but I’d love it if Jungle Boy was the one to win it from him, and for JB to face Sammy Guevara, of the 4 Young Prospects of AEW I don’t think Sammy and JB have gone 1-on-1, could be wrong but Sammy usually went for Darby and JB to MJF, Fénix vs JB would be excellent also. Luchasaurus is also due his hoss match with the Butcher, as well as further conflict with Cage and Archer Also I’d like Shida vs Conti, both are very martial arts-like in their wrestling especially the latter so it would be a good physical match. But yeah, that’s out of my system for now, we’ve talked some good, some bad and some middle, don’t think it matters to anyone but I’ve said my piece Bring on All Out!

[henrytcasey]

Watch This Wrestling 6 (2/10 – 16)

Welcome back, and yes, I’ve changed the name of this gimmick from the imprecise “Don’t Miss This” to “Watch This Wrestling.” So without further preamble, here’s what you need to see from the last week of pro wrestling.

WWE Match of the Week:

John Cena vs AJ Styles vs Bray Wyatt for the WWE Championship

WWE SmackDown Live, 2/14

While the 2017 Elimination Chamber is the match that got all of the attention this week, I prefer the WWE Championship rematch that took place two nights later. Why? The Chamber match had a slow, stilted pace, or at least it did until it was just these last three.

So, not only did SmackDown Live’s triple threat match between John Cena, AJ Styles and Bray Wyatt rule, it did so while playing on our expectations.

That “A Wild Luke Harper Appears!” moment at the top of the match existed in-part to toy with fans worried that Wyatt’s run would last a mere 47 hours. Further, while we knew to expect great things whenever Cena and Styles face off, this confirmed that Wyatt and Styles is a top-flight pairing that will do well in the future. I look forward to their post-Mania program.

Non-WWE Match of the Week:

Tetsuya Naito vs Michael Elgin for the IWGP Intercontinental Championship

NJPW, The New Beginning in Osaka, 2/11

Pop some popcorn folks, because this one goes long (more than 35 minutes). And sure, some might not like it for its length (time constrained viewers should check out Shibata/Ospreay or Kamaitachi/Dragon Lee) but I believe the reward is worth the investment. Naito’s detachment and chill make for a perfect pairing with “Big Mike” who plays ever the angry, straight-forward, revenge-driven babyface.

The match shows Naito taking a ton of punishment, and makes Elgin look incredibly powerful. It even has a couple of surprising moves in it that I won’t spoil, just look out for Naito going for a Tope Suicido.

And while this match shows Naito working over Elgin’s injured knee and eye socket, the match isn’t overburdened with the moments where Elgin’s knee isn’t able to support him. Elgin’s expressions are great, too, especially his look of exhaustion and surprise when Naito kicks out later in the match after a sit-down powerbomb. 

Available here with NJPWorld Subscription .

WWE Segment of the Week:

The Festival of Friendship

WWE Monday Night Raw, 2/13 

I’m probably preaching to the choir here, but hot damn this was good. 

Haven’t watched it yet? Watch these clips and then read. In that order.

Even the intro, Jericho’s colorfully-lit pre-taped message that welcomed “ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, grandmothers and grandfathers,” to “The Wrestlemania of Camaraderie” was confoundingly weird.

I’ll be honest, I got lulled into a sense of security. Just as Graves looks startled by all the fireworks, I got bewildered the second I saw Jericho’s super-huge, extra-doofy smile. He wears that smile to close the video and as he walks out to split apart his feather dancers, and he just had me scratching my head.

Even knowing what we now know, Owens’ look of boredom doesn’t telegraph the ending, it just gives viewers this sense that he’s as confused as they are. From the blatantly homoerotic sculpture by Ralph Guggenheim (a name borrowed from a graphics designer from Toy Story) to The Creation of Kevin (“it’s art, you don’t need pants”) this segment is chock-a-block with laughs.

Also, note the Jericho line “true art grows on people,” because you need to rewatch this segment. Its pacing is perfect, with Jericho’s rapid-fire dialogue and Owens delivering deadpan line after deadpan line (“scarfs are your thing,” “Chris, where did you find Friendship The Magician?”).

You don’t even need to know about Triple H pulling Owens aside erlier and speaking likely-evils into his ear. But that added layer, that puppet master moment, gives the little flakes of humanity in Owens, which you see when he’s shaking his head wearily, hoping Jericho delivers Goldberg, to redeem the utter silly stupidity of this all. And the utter disappointment on Owens’ face when freaking Gillberg shows up. Yes, that’s how much Jericho cares about his best friend, he called up The J.O.B. Squad’s finest: Gillberg.

So as Owens says “I don’t understand!” to Jericho, he’s saying “What do you expect me to do? Triple H was right, you’re making me into a joke!” And then Jericho goes and says it all:

“For the last year, I gotta tell you, listen, I’ve had such a great time working with you, being your partner, it’s made this last year in the WWE one of my favorite years of my entire career.

And a lot of that’s because of you.

I’ve had a lot of friends in this business and a lot of partners but I haven’t had the chemistry with any of them like I have with you. It’s been a joy. You’ve made my job here and my time in the WWE here a better place, and I wanted to thank you for that.”

So when Jericho ends that emotional unfurling by promising Owens a Fast Lane win over Goldberg, we now know Owens cannot retain his title. We know that this friendship is doomed.

We don’t know who made The List of KO. It could be Owens, it could be Triple H. But once Owens decides to ask for it, it’s all over, and he’s relishing in the moment. Kevin Owens may have humanity (I think I see hints of him feeling guilty) but he also derives a terrible joy from destroying those who trust him.

So we heard the words

“How come my name’s on this?”

Then, after the brief beatdown, this gets the signatures of KO and Jericho. First, Owens giving Jericho the ring-apron powerbomb (Sami Zayn is chuckling somewhere) and then putting Jericho through the TV, just like Jericho put Shawn Michaels through the TV, as Michaels put Janetty through the barber shop window.

Oh, and check out the Samoa Joe interview with Michael Cole and Emmalina’s return if you missed those.

Non-WWE Segment of the Week:

The Broken Hardys in Tijuana Part 2

Impact Wrestling, 2/16

It’s almost as if everyone else saw the festival of friendship and thought, “well, no bother trying to top that.” Except that both the ROH and Impact this week were pre-taped and NJPW doesn’t really do non-match segments.

So, I can’t really credit Kevin & Chris for this one, but this segment (which I’m not even a huge fan of) is another Broken Matt bit that beats the field. Here’s part 1 , 2 , 3 , and 4 .

I can’t stand The Wolves Breaking Up stuff, the Mini Moose & Big Moose setup for Jealous Cody’s Return, and especially Braxton Sutter’s Bachelor Party and Laurel Van Ness’s Bachelorette Party. Even Eli Drake & Titus’ segment stank.