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#you know if we actually gave it to her rip big shame oof so today i woke up and then stayed in bed starin at the ceilin tryna think out
xz017 · 5 years
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#entry#rip okay so ive been writing in the journal that i rediscovered whilst cleaning lately i thought itd be a dignified alternative switch until#you know if we actually gave it to her rip big shame oof so today i woke up and then stayed in bed starin at the ceilin tryna think out#my plans n routes cos umm not spendin 30+ on lyft 💀it's either time or money lads and i chose to spend time n effort n not money✌🏽️i spent#an hour waiting for the second bus so my first trip was 2.5 hrs🙃 rip ive never been here so lil anxiety#but whilst i was waiting she texted rip she thought I was the one singing as if i could be shameless like my RM singin whilst there are ppl#like...oof got i hate my RM even when she has her headphones on it's super loud i can hear💀n i have to put my headphones on just not to hear#what already should be quiet💀🗡🗡🗡anyway rip she texted me and 💀she didnt get to go do what she planned to do yesterday cos her lungs🗡🥺bein#rude af like dskæsns let her breathe proper im so!!! annoyed like legit i was so fired up i redecided to be a savage capitalist ready to#walk over people to get to the top and bypass waitin and bureacracy just to get her the best healthcare 😒🗡like !!! ughh rip n she thought#i was just tryna be cute like first of alli cant even be cute even if i tried like...most of the things i do is for her or Us someday 💀#but like rip i felt bad she said i changed her 🥶 n it didbt sound good like rip i was writing about it last night the coinkidinkerooni oof#i dont exactly remember what prompted me to think that line of thought but i was just like what if she follows all these productive steps#that i want her to follow but she ends up miserable anyway rip i mean there are people who cant not be miserable whatever they do i.e. Me#but like💀idk what i wrote resonated with what happened today like she was safe n cosy at home but she got invited to a bar n she said no tnx#and they were makin fun of her a lil and i was like all dont worry theyll suffer n she was like im sufferin now ye dont gotta say that abt#them i already said no n i was like 🥺oof but like she said she didnt wanna go anyway rip like before i go somewhere or do something my#brain takes me through the likely experience like oh. noisy. loud ppl. talkin n laughin loud with each other.alcohol. body heat. too many#ppl--thats why i say no like 91% of the time people actually ask me if i wanna go somewhere with them cos it's just not enjoyable but rip#she gets lonely so idk and rip some Man asked to walk with her at midnight like...wat man casually asks a woman if midnight walks are okay#lil creepy but okay🗡 but rip idk she been inside all day n i feel bad meanwhile i let her go to chill i was tryna finish the Work of love#rip thats lame but like 5ppl at least kept passing bye and complimenting me n i was like...😒🗡thanks i mean i hope so rip but lowkey i was#like...dont...look at it it's not meant for you like imagine i believed in compliments and the person it's for the most important person is#like...its nice not bad! id be like 💀 anyway rip ppl kept passin by n sayin stugf about it n i was like 🥶thanks 🗡 ugh i hope it turns out#well i tried to scrape off thick paints so it wouldnt pull in the oven oof id cry if some be smeared n overlap#couldnt reach n fix the inside heart doe😞 but i finished!!! weeks of work💀💓i asked Her what else she wanted in the parcel rip n we got to#talkin about old clothes vs new clothes i send her rip shame im poor😖😰so i invest in unique stuff for her normal stuff are usually mine rip#i hope thats not creepy yikes💀she said she was feelin better n im like rip i hope n she went off to charge n read some history stuff!!! 🥰#tomorrow she said she'll do what she planned today n try n tackle EH oof i saw them equations yikes i h8 bless her#gonna make my way home rip im a lil anxious cos time n darkness fallin n whathave ye but 🤷🏻‍♂️it be like that✌🏽️
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